


Chester Bennington - Unusual Neighbor

by ScorpyR



Category: Chester Bennington - Fandom, Linkin Park
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Arizona - Freeform, Chester Bennington - Freeform, Declarations Of Love, Depression, Dinner, Drama, Drama & Romance, Drunkenness, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Drama, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love, Love Confessions, Making Love, Making Out, Medication, Muffins, Mystery, NSFW, Neighbors, Phoenix - Freeform, Sadness, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2020-07-27 20:39:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 151,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20052202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScorpyR/pseuds/ScorpyR
Summary: Ana was tired of her life and wasting it due to her parent's beliefs. She decided to put an end to it and start from zero, alone. At least, she thought she would be alone until she met him. Chester. Her unusual neighbor. Behind his beauty hides a load of demons from his past that she will find out along the way. Maybe she isn't ready for that.





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Here I am, once again, with another Chester Bennington's love story. I really hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Subscribe and, please, give me your feedback. It's important to me.
> 
> And wait for updates, I promise they will be frequent :)
> 
> XOXO

Anyone who looked at me could have the most incorrect impression. My parents were the famous Clemonte, owners of Clemonte Enterprises, known for selling and processing data from all types of companies. They have lots of partners, spin-offs, and most importantly: money and power.

Yes, I am wealthy. Well, my parents are. Very, very wealthy. They worked really hard for what they have today, not only their company, but their status, their mansions in Arizona, Manhattan, Brasil, Switerzland, and many others that I can keep track. We live in Arizona, along with my two sisters, Rachel and Monica, my grandmother and a bunch of servants.

Unlike my sisters, I never let them make up the lack of attention with money and gifts. They bought them jewelry, clothes, car and superfluous things that would be unnecessary if they were more present in our lives. Me? I would distribute the gifts among our staff, much to my parent's annoyance. 

My life changed after I turned 25 when my parents threw a party against my will.

"Absolutely no!" I argued against them, despite knowing that it was futile, they always get what they want.

"Darling, don't act like this! It's something small, just for friends and family." My mother explained. Liar.

"Your friends or my friends?" I asked and she just gulped, I knew she would never invite my real friends. She was all about money and social appearance. She would invite only the richest and force me to enjoy my time among them - how I hated when she does that.

"Honey, it's settled. Tomorrow at night, no more arguing."

"It's MY birthday, mom! My 25th birthday, maybe I should get to decide those kinds of things!"

She yelled back at me before brushing her clothes to straighten them. "Exactly! 25! You should start acting like it!"

So, I knew there was no way I would be able to sneak out of that hell of a party. And I thought the party itself was dreadful, but I was wrong. My mother had other things in her mind when she introduced me to Peter Grantt, son of some friends of them; partners; rich people. The Grantt's have a long history with my parent's company, like business contract's and agreements. But the Grantts were growing stronger every day and my parents wanted a written and solidified partnership with them, to guarantee they would not stay behind. The way of doing that? Me and Peter, together.

And my mother had the guts to tell me that, at my birthday party, seconds before meeting the guy.

"Peter, this is my daughter Ana. I think you'll like her, she's a rebel, just like you." My mother commented and I rolled my eyes, greeting the man.

"It is a pleasure to meet you." He grabbed my knuckles and kissed them gently, making me blush. "I heard lots of things about you from your mother."

"Well then, my reputation is ruined already," I said and my mother widened her eyes, scolding me immediately.

"Ana!"

Peter started laughing and my mother eased up her behavior. She even forced a chuckle in front of Peter's parents and gestured them to walk away with her to give us a moment alone to know each other. For some reason, I was nervous and embarrassed. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend nor a husband, all I wanted to do was to live my life the way I want to.

"Not a big fan of these parties, are you?" I heard Peter's voice by my side, snapping me out of my thoughts once I reached the balcony and stared at the sky.

"Not really my style, no," I admitted, forcing a smile to my lips even though it didn't reach my eyes.

"I understand." He sighed. "After my mother dying, my father met Jessica and married her. She's great really, but she can get so annoying with this fake parties. I don't know half of the people I meet when they throw them at our home."

"Tell me about it. It's my birthday and, besides my family, I don't know anyone." I groaned. "I hate this so much."

"Why don't you go after what you want?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I faced him for the first time.

"I don't know. Are you happy here?" I stared at him. He was a beautiful man, probably a little older than me, but no more than 27 years older, I guess. And he spoke in the most gentle and comprehensive way, something unusual in my world. My world. I don't even know if this is my world at all. His question, as simple as it seems, was deeper and complicated to me because I really have no idea what the answer might be. I was even more shocked when Peter started laughing. "If you can't answer this simple question immediately, you are answering it all the same. So, what makes you happy?"

"I... I think having control over my life would be a way to start."

"So? What's stopping you?"

Once again, I stared deeply at him, lost in my words again. And he laughed, again. He was a charming man, after all, my mother's idea of getting me closer to him couldn't be that bad. He is a man down to earth, at least. 

"Ana, come inside, please. It's time to cut the cake." I heard my mother and rolled my eyes, earning a grin from Peter. He put a hand on my shoulder and walked me inside, much to my mother pleasure.

The rest of the night was boring. Peter went home soon, so I went back to not knowing anyone in that party. The only one that could cheer me up was my nanna, a tender woman and the wisest I've ever met.

"Happy birthday, my sweet girl." She said, handing me a wrapped gift.

"You didn't need to get me anything, nanna."

"I know. But open it."

I unwrapped it and inside there was a book. A cooking book for beginners. Something as simple as this that meant so much more to me, and she knew it. She knows how much I want to get away from that environment, but she also knows that my mother never let me touch a thing in the kitchen, even though she knows how much I love cooking. At least, the idea of cooking._ Yes, I'm 25 and I can't even fry an egg. Fucking reach people._

"Thank you so much," I said, hugging her. My mother watched us with a disgusted expression once she saw what the book was about. She didn't say anything though, she didn't want to cause a scene in front of that many people.

Finally, when the party was over, I fled as soon as possible, locking myself in my room.

I took off my stupid dress, something expensive that my mother offered me as a birthday gift, but that was uncomfortable as fuck. I put on my Harry Potter pajamas and climbed out of my window, to my favorite spot. With a lot of effort, when I need to be alone, I climb to the roof of my house to watch the stars and the moon.

Peter's conversation left me too thoughtful.

_Am I happy?_

_What do I want for my life?_

I had no idea. I just wanted my parents to spend more time home, away from fame and the business and the money. Some family quality time. But they corrupted my sisters so much that that was not possible. Monica and Rachel are innocent little creatures, younger than me, that don't know anything besides what my mother shows them. My father is a more liberal man, but my mother has him hanging by the neck every time he opposes her beliefs.

That wish I knew was nearly impossible to come true.

But what could I do for myself instead of continuing to go along with this puppetry? I have some wonderful friends (not from this stupid and fake world), but still, I was lacking something in my life.

After a few days, my mother informed she was going to organize a dinner in our house with the Grantts. And she asked me to behave myself and try to make conversation with Peter for the sake of our family's business.

Even though I didn't want to, I ended up accepting her request and put on my fakest smile on my face when they arrived. Peter saw it right through me when he whispered in my ear.

"Not a big fan of these kinds of dinners, huh?"

I looked at him and nodded, looking down to the napkin on my lap, ignoring my mother's speech about how such a good girl I am and how strong my personality is. I felt like I was being sold like cattle. Or an object. It was a horrible feeling... _My own mother._

Peter's hand landed on mine and squeezed it a little, just enough to make me look at him.

"Do you want to get out of here?" My supplicating eyes were enough for him. "If you'll excuse us, I am not feeling well and Ana volunteered herself to walk me outside to get some fresh air."

Without giving them a chance to ask questions, he raised from his chair and held a hand for me, pulling me behind him to the front door. Then we walked to the gardens of the house in silence.

"Have you thought about the questions I asked you on your birthday night?" He asked suddenly. "You look like shit."

I gasped and laughed.

"Mr. Grantt, watch your mouth! I didn't know you could swear." 

"Why is that? Because of the tie?" He asked, loosening it. "I am no saint."

"I see." I sighed, taking a moment to think about my next words. "I have thought about it. And I got some headaches, but I did think about them."

"Aaand?"

"And I am not happy and want to move out. Alone." I admitted. "But want and actually do it are totally different things. My mother would kill me."

"She's your mother, she will understand." I glared at him and he laughed. "Ok, probably not. But you can't continue living like this, can you?"

"No."

"Isn't there anyone who can help you?"

I thought of nanna, but she was too old to let her worry about these stupid problems. Here I am, a 25 years old girl, rich to the bones, complaining about being rich. We're never happy with what we have, are we?

Before going to my bedroom after dinner, my mother called me to the living room where she was drinking a cup of wine with my dad. They wanted to know how was going on my relationship with Peter.

"I only met him two times" I rolled my eyes.

"I can get you his phone number, I think Jesica wouldn't mind if--"

"No. If I wanted his phone number I would have asked him already. What are you trying to do mother? Getting us married?"

"That would be greater than I expected, Ana." My mother said with her eyes glistering, even though my father scolded her.

"You would sell me like that?"

"I am not selling you, honey, I--" I interrupted her.

"You are! And I won't keep doing this shit for you! I don't want this stupid life! I'm done!" I turned around furious and walked to my room with tears forming in my eyes. This is it, I am going to find a job and I'll go away, for good.

"Ana!" My father called, but I ignored.

Once I was about to open my bedroom door, I heard nanna calling my name. I found her at her doorstep, waiting for me. She nodded her head, gesturing me to get inside her room.

"I can't handle this anymore, nanna. I can't..." She sat on her usual chair by the window and I kneeled in front of her, my head resting on her knees, crying, while she stroked my hair gently and told me everything would be ok.

"I talked to my friend Janice. She's a florist, working at a shopping mall near Phoenix. She's looking for someone for a part-time job and she intends to pay well. I told her about you and she wants you for the job." I gasped, lifting my head to look at her in her eyes. "I know you're not happy here, Ana. You are a good and kind girl. And a fighter. I know it. And I want to help you, either my daughter likes it or not. I don't care."

"Thank you, nanna. Thank you so much."

"Don't thank me yet. There's an apartment in Phoneix where I lived with your grandfather and where I raised your mother before she even met your father. I could never get rid of the apartment, so I bought it and it just stays there uninhabited." She handed me a key and a piece of paper with the address. "I want you to move there. It's not much, no luxury like this house. But that's where I raised my children. There's no rent for you to bother. You will only pay for water, gas, electricity, and food. The first half-year you only pay for food, I'll pay the rest."

"No, nanna, I can't accept it."

"You will. First of all, my sweet angel, it's abandoned and it pains my heart to see it that way. It was once full of love and life. I want it there again. Make it a home. Second, you are not happy here. And I don't want you to keep having these fights with your parents, I don't want you to be mad with them for good. They will see it one day, but you have to go against their beliefs for your own sanity." She put the key and the address in my hands. "Take it. I'll deal with your mother later. I've been quiet for too long, it's time for me to tell her some things. But please, my darling, don't hate your parents. Money can corrupt many things, but not how much they love you, even if they lost their way of showing it to you."

"I know... The worst part is that I know, nanna... But I have to go. I have to get away."

"Go, sweet Ana. Go."

It wasn't easy. The conversation with my parents the next day wasn't easy at all. We fought, yelled, and we stayed quiet. The silence was the worse part. I never know what they are thinking about. Luckily my grandmother was there and supported me saying that she never turned her back at her daughter even when she saw her making the worst mistakes of her life. She told them how they neglected my adolescence and tried to infect us with the stupid money instead of supporting me and my sisters to being wonderful women. Then she said she was proud of me for fighting for what I believed and was proud of the person I was becoming and that they should too. Then she instructed me to leave for good because she needed to have a conversation whit both my parents.

I didn't even think twice: I just fled out of that house with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face - not of happiness but of relief. 

After twenty minutes of driving in silence, battling with a turmoil of thoughts, I arrived at my destination. I doubled checked the address and kept the key in my hand. When I was packing my bag last night, I picked the simplest clothes and disposed of the fancy ones that my mother bought me for the events, so everything I own in that moment was divided into two handbags.

The building is old outside but is very well treated on the inside. The floor and the walls are made of dark blue marble and there are several artificial plants placed along the corridor as ornaments.

I walked in silence, taking in my surroundings until I reached for the 3rd door and inserted the key my grandma gave me. For some reason, I turned my head around because I felt a presence, but at the same time I did that, the door behind me closed slowly. I found that uncanny, but I got inside the apartment without thinking twice.

"Wow." I opened my mouth.

The apartment is quite big. The furniture was covered with white sheets to keep them safe from dust, but when I took them off I was dumbfounded. The furniture was old but too advanced for the time. My grandmother had such good taste! It was a mix of vintage style with modern design. I loved it. There was a suite (where I would be sleeping, obviously) and another big bedroom. The kitchen and the living room was all-in-one, there was an island in the kitchen area and a round glass dining table near the window. 

The view wasn't that marvelous though, but at least I could still see the sky. 

Then I scanned the entire apartment slowly and took a deep breath, rolling up my sleeves.

"How hard could it be to take care of a house alone? I can do it, right?"


	2. Flowers & Beers

Anyone who looked at me could have the most incorrect impression. My parents were the famous Clemonte, owners of Clemonte Enterprises, known for selling and processing data from all types of companies. They have lots of partners, spin-offs, and most importantly: money and power.

Yes, I am wealthy. Well, my parents are. Very, very wealthy. They worked really hard for what they have today, not only their company, but their status, their mansions in Arizona, Manhattan, Brasil, Switerzland, and many others that I can keep track. We live in Arizona, along with my two sisters, Rachel and Monica, my grandmother and a bunch of servants.

Unlike my sisters, I never let them make up the lack of attention with money and gifts. They bought them jewelry, clothes, car and superfluous things that would be unnecessary if they were more present in our lives. Me? I would distribute the gifts among our staff, much to my parent's annoyance. 

My life changed after I turned 25 when my parents threw a party against my will.

"Absolutely no!" I argued against them, despite knowing that it was futile, they always get what they want.

"Darling, don't act like this! It's something small, just for friends and family." My mother explained. Liar.

"Your friends or my friends?" I asked and she just gulped, I knew she would never invite my real friends. She was all about money and social appearance. She would invite only the richest and force me to enjoy my time among them - how I hated when she does that.

"Honey, it's settled. Tomorrow at night, no more arguing."

"It's MY birthday, mom! My 25th birthday, maybe I should get to decide those kinds of things!"

She yelled back at me before brushing her clothes to straighten them. "Exactly! 25! You should start acting like it!"

So, I knew there was no way I would be able to sneak out of that hell of a party. And I thought the party itself was dreadful, but I was wrong. My mother had other things in her mind when she introduced me to Peter Grantt, son of some friends of them; partners; rich people. The Grantt's have a long history with my parent's company, like business contract's and agreements. But the Grantts were growing stronger every day and my parents wanted a written and solidified partnership with them, to guarantee they would not stay behind. The way of doing that? Me and Peter, together.

And my mother had the guts to tell me that, at my birthday party, seconds before meeting the guy.

"Peter, this is my daughter Ana. I think you'll like her, she's a rebel, just like you." My mother commented and I rolled my eyes, greeting the man.

"It is a pleasure to meet you." He grabbed my knuckles and kissed them gently, making me blush. "I heard lots of things about you from your mother."

"Well then, my reputation is ruined already," I said and my mother widened her eyes, scolding me immediately.

"Ana!"

Peter started laughing and my mother eased up her behavior. She even forced a chuckle in front of Peter's parents and gestured them to walk away with her to give us a moment alone to know each other. For some reason, I was nervous and embarrassed. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend nor a husband, all I wanted to do was to live my life the way I want to.

"Not a big fan of these parties, are you?" I heard Peter's voice by my side, snapping me out of my thoughts once I reached the balcony and stared at the sky.

"Not really my style, no," I admitted, forcing a smile to my lips even though it didn't reach my eyes.

"I understand." He sighed. "After my mother dying, my father met Jessica and married her. She's great really, but she can get so annoying with this fake parties. I don't know half of the people I meet when they throw them at our home."

"Tell me about it. It's my birthday and, besides my family, I don't know anyone." I groaned. "I hate this so much."

"Why don't you go after what you want?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I faced him for the first time.

"I don't know. Are you happy here?" I stared at him. He was a beautiful man, probably a little older than me, but no more than 27 years older, I guess. And he spoke in the most gentle and comprehensive way, something unusual in my world. My world. I don't even know if this is my world at all. His question, as simple as it seems, was deeper and complicated to me because I really have no idea what the answer might be. I was even more shocked when Peter started laughing. "If you can't answer this simple question immediately, you are answering it all the same. So, what makes you happy?"

"I... I think having control over my life would be a way to start."

"So? What's stopping you?"

Once again, I stared deeply at him, lost in my words again. And he laughed, again. He was a charming man, after all, my mother's idea of getting me closer to him couldn't be that bad. He is a man down to earth, at least. 

"Ana, come inside, please. It's time to cut the cake." I heard my mother and rolled my eyes, earning a grin from Peter. He put a hand on my shoulder and walked me inside, much to my mother pleasure.

The rest of the night was boring. Peter went home soon, so I went back to not knowing anyone in that party. The only one that could cheer me up was my nanna, a tender woman and the wisest I've ever met.

"Happy birthday, my sweet girl." She said, handing me a wrapped gift.

"You didn't need to get me anything, nanna."

"I know. But open it."

I unwrapped it and inside there was a book. A cooking book for beginners. Something as simple as this that meant so much more to me, and she knew it. She knows how much I want to get away from that environment, but she also knows that my mother never let me touch a thing in the kitchen, even though she knows how much I love cooking. At least, the idea of cooking._ Yes, I'm 25 and I can't even fry an egg. Fucking reach people._

"Thank you so much," I said, hugging her. My mother watched us with a disgusted expression once she saw what the book was about. She didn't say anything though, she didn't want to cause a scene in front of that many people.

Finally, when the party was over, I fled as soon as possible, locking myself in my room.

I took off my stupid dress, something expensive that my mother offered me as a birthday gift, but that was uncomfortable as fuck. I put on my Harry Potter pajamas and climbed out of my window, to my favorite spot. With a lot of effort, when I need to be alone, I climb to the roof of my house to watch the stars and the moon.

Peter's conversation left me too thoughtful.

_Am I happy?_

_What do I want for my life?_

I had no idea. I just wanted my parents to spend more time home, away from fame and the business and the money. Some family quality time. But they corrupted my sisters so much that that was not possible. Monica and Rachel are innocent little creatures, younger than me, that don't know anything besides what my mother shows them. My father is a more liberal man, but my mother has him hanging by the neck every time he opposes her beliefs.

That wish I knew was nearly impossible to come true.

But what could I do for myself instead of continuing to go along with this puppetry? I have some wonderful friends (not from this stupid and fake world), but still, I was lacking something in my life.

After a few days, my mother informed she was going to organize a dinner in our house with the Grantts. And she asked me to behave myself and try to make conversation with Peter for the sake of our family's business.

Even though I didn't want to, I ended up accepting her request and put on my fakest smile on my face when they arrived. Peter saw it right through me when he whispered in my ear.

"Not a big fan of these kinds of dinners, huh?"

I looked at him and nodded, looking down to the napkin on my lap, ignoring my mother's speech about how such a good girl I am and how strong my personality is. I felt like I was being sold like cattle. Or an object. It was a horrible feeling... _My own mother._

Peter's hand landed on mine and squeezed it a little, just enough to make me look at him.

"Do you want to get out of here?" My supplicating eyes were enough for him. "If you'll excuse us, I am not feeling well and Ana volunteered herself to walk me outside to get some fresh air."

Without giving them a chance to ask questions, he raised from his chair and held a hand for me, pulling me behind him to the front door. Then we walked to the gardens of the house in silence.

"Have you thought about the questions I asked you on your birthday night?" He asked suddenly. "You look like shit."

I gasped and laughed.

"Mr. Grantt, watch your mouth! I didn't know you could swear." 

"Why is that? Because of the tie?" He asked, loosening it. "I am no saint."

"I see." I sighed, taking a moment to think about my next words. "I have thought about it. And I got some headaches, but I did think about them."

"Aaand?"

"And I am not happy and want to move out. Alone." I admitted. "But want and actually do it are totally different things. My mother would kill me."

"She's your mother, she will understand." I glared at him and he laughed. "Ok, probably not. But you can't continue living like this, can you?"

"No."

"Isn't there anyone who can help you?"

I thought of nanna, but she was too old to let her worry about these stupid problems. Here I am, a 25 years old girl, rich to the bones, complaining about being rich. We're never happy with what we have, are we?

Before going to my bedroom after dinner, my mother called me to the living room where she was drinking a cup of wine with my dad. They wanted to know how was going on my relationship with Peter.

"I only met him two times" I rolled my eyes.

"I can get you his phone number, I think Jesica wouldn't mind if--"

"No. If I wanted his phone number I would have asked him already. What are you trying to do mother? Getting us married?"

"That would be greater than I expected, Ana." My mother said with her eyes glistering, even though my father scolded her.

"You would sell me like that?"

"I am not selling you, honey, I--" I interrupted her.

"You are! And I won't keep doing this shit for you! I don't want this stupid life! I'm done!" I turned around furious and walked to my room with tears forming in my eyes. This is it, I am going to find a job and I'll go away, for good.

"Ana!" My father called, but I ignored.

Once I was about to open my bedroom door, I heard nanna calling my name. I found her at her doorstep, waiting for me. She nodded her head, gesturing me to get inside her room.

"I can't handle this anymore, nanna. I can't..." She sat on her usual chair by the window and I kneeled in front of her, my head resting on her knees, crying, while she stroked my hair gently and told me everything would be ok.

"I talked to my friend Janice. She's a florist, working at a shopping mall near Phoenix. She's looking for someone for a part-time job and she intends to pay well. I told her about you and she wants you for the job." I gasped, lifting my head to look at her in her eyes. "I know you're not happy here, Ana. You are a good and kind girl. And a fighter. I know it. And I want to help you, either my daughter likes it or not. I don't care."

"Thank you, nanna. Thank you so much."

"Don't thank me yet. There's an apartment in Phoneix where I lived with your grandfather and where I raised your mother before she even met your father. I could never get rid of the apartment, so I bought it and it just stays there uninhabited." She handed me a key and a piece of paper with the address. "I want you to move there. It's not much, no luxury like this house. But that's where I raised my children. There's no rent for you to bother. You will only pay for water, gas, electricity, and food. The first half-year you only pay for food, I'll pay the rest."

"No, nanna, I can't accept it."

"You will. First of all, my sweet angel, it's abandoned and it pains my heart to see it that way. It was once full of love and life. I want it there again. Make it a home. Second, you are not happy here. And I don't want you to keep having these fights with your parents, I don't want you to be mad with them for good. They will see it one day, but you have to go against their beliefs for your own sanity." She put the key and the address in my hands. "Take it. I'll deal with your mother later. I've been quiet for too long, it's time for me to tell her some things. But please, my darling, don't hate your parents. Money can corrupt many things, but not how much they love you, even if they lost their way of showing it to you."

"I know... The worst part is that I know, nanna... But I have to go. I have to get away."

"Go, sweet Ana. Go."

It wasn't easy. The conversation with my parents the next day wasn't easy at all. We fought, yelled, and we stayed quiet. The silence was the worse part. I never know what they are thinking about. Luckily my grandmother was there and supported me saying that she never turned her back at her daughter even when she saw her making the worst mistakes of her life. She told them how they neglected my adolescence and tried to infect us with the stupid money instead of supporting me and my sisters to being wonderful women. Then she said she was proud of me for fighting for what I believed and was proud of the person I was becoming and that they should too. Then she instructed me to leave for good because she needed to have a conversation whit both my parents.

I didn't even think twice: I just fled out of that house with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face - not of happiness but of relief. 

After twenty minutes of driving in silence, battling with a turmoil of thoughts, I arrived at my destination. I doubled checked the address and kept the key in my hand. When I was packing my bag last night, I picked the simplest clothes and disposed of the fancy ones that my mother bought me for the events, so everything I own in that moment was divided into two handbags.

The building is old outside but is very well treated on the inside. The floor and the walls are made of dark blue marble and there are several artificial plants placed along the corridor as ornaments.

I walked in silence, taking in my surroundings until I reached for the 3rd door and inserted the key my grandma gave me. For some reason, I turned my head around because I felt a presence, but at the same time I did that, the door behind me closed slowly. I found that uncanny, but I got inside the apartment without thinking twice.

"Wow." I opened my mouth.

The apartment is quite big. The furniture was covered with white sheets to keep them safe from dust, but when I took them off I was dumbfounded. The furniture was old but too advanced for the time. My grandmother had such good taste! It was a mix of vintage style with modern design. I loved it. There was a suite (where I would be sleeping, obviously) and another big bedroom. The kitchen and the living room was all-in-one, there was an island in the kitchen area and a round glass dining table near the window. 

The view wasn't that marvelous though, but at least I could still see the sky. 

Then I scanned the entire apartment slowly and took a deep breath, rolling up my sleeves.

"How hard could it be to take care of a house alone? I can do it, right?"


	3. Shy notes under the door

As the next days went by slowly, I couldn't be happier with how it was at that moment. I was away from the stupid world I grew up in, had a job and good friends. But I was growing curious every day with my mysterious neighbor. Sometimes I cursed myself after spending minutes looking through my peephole whenever I hear his door opening or closing. I know, I need to get a life, but he got me so curious.

Every time I arrived home after work, I prayed that I just crossed paths with him, but it never happened. But one day, an interaction was really necessary. As I opened my mailbox and took several envelopes and publicity, there was an intruder. An envelope from the hospital with some man's name on it.

_Chester Charles Bennington._

Then I looked at the address and smiled when I saw from who it belonged to 1st floor, door nr. 2. My dear neighbor. 

I walked upstairs, considering if I should on his door and wait for him, or if I should just slide the envelope under his door. I could just do the second option and don't bother him, but part of me was dying inside to look at him, face to face. And before I knew it, I knocked on his door for some time, even though I heard nothing from his apartment.

I decided to get home instead and wait for him to arrive.

Once I was inside, I changed to more comfortable clothes, grabbed a pack of Bens&Jerrys, cookie dough - my favorite - and sat on the floor, against my main door. I waited for any signal of his arrival, for probably half an hour until something made me jump from the floor. I heard his key on his door and I grabbed the envelope from the kitchen island and opened my door.

I just caught him closing the door and without thinking I rushed to his side and knocked as assertive as possible.

I heard him walking back to the door and then there was silence. He was looking through the peephole but this time I would not give up - I wouldn't let him ignore me.

"Hi, I'm your next door's neighbor and the mailman put your mail on my mailbox."

The door opened soon after, slowly showing the mysterious man I've been daying to meet, for some reason. Maybe it was because of what the lady from the 4th floor told me, or about how Nicole would incite me to knock on his door, meet the mysterious man and fall in love with him at first sight. I threw her with my pillow, saying that there was no such thing, but here I am now, staring like a dumbass into the eyes of one of the most handsome man have ever come across.

Only when he said _hi_ with a slight smile on his lips and with a shine in his eyes I was snapped out of whatever kind of trance that was.

"Hi!" I said happily. "I have your mail, here." I handed him the envelope but he never broke eye contact. To be honest, it seemed he was as bedazzled as I was.

"Thank you, I'm sorry for the inconvenience," he said, as he turned around to close the door. By some divine reason that I am totally unaware of, I put a hand on his door, making him stop and look at me again.

"I'm Ana C..." I stopped me from saying my surname. It was so famous that I was afraid he would recognize me and I really didn't want that. "Just Ana."

"Well, Just Ana, I'm Chester Bennington." He said in a mocking tone and I let out a chuckle.

"Yeah, I know that. I got your mail." I said matter-of-factly, but with a smirk on my lips, earning his first laugh. It was sultry and low, but perceptible enough to know it is a beautiful sound. For some reason, I felt myself blushing and embarrassed with that situation, so inside my head I was trying to force my brain to say something and don't just stand there gawking.

"Do you live alone?" I asked - _what a stupid question to ask. Great job, Ana, fucking great job._

Chester smiled, noticing how embarrassed I was acting.

"Yes, it's only me. And you?"

"Me too..." I needed to get away from that moment, I bet I was red as a pepper, that was so lame! What was I thinking? Knocking on his door like that when I could just slide his mail under his door. _Stupid, stupid girl_. "Well, see you around," I said, turning around to get inside my apartment and bury my head on the ground.

"Ana?" I heard him calling my name, which provoked me goosebumps. I turned to him and he was smiling warmly, as he took a step closer, leaving the comfort of his door frame. "Thank you for the muffins, they were delicious. Actually. I think they are the best I've ever tasted."

"They are, right? I can't get enough from them, I eat them almost every day, especially at breakfast." I said proudly. "I found them when I moved into Phoenix and they are the only one that can do them as good as these ones. And they have so many flavors!"

"Where is that amazing place? It sounds like heaven to me.

"It's a secret. If I tell you, you would eat them all by yourselves." He laughed. "If you l-"

We were suddenly interrupted by his phone, ringing inside his apartment. The smile on his lips faded away as if he knew who was calling him. Then he muttered something as _Goodbye_ and turned around, closing the door in my face, leaving me in an empty corridor, speechless and with a smile on my lips that was slowly waning away. 

I went back to my house, intrigued by his behavior. It was odd, sure, but I feel like there's more to it. He is actually a very nice person to talk to, even though all I could do was blush like a teenager and tremble as if every word I said was critical. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard someone calling me on skype. I left my pc on the couch, searching for new songs to play on the guitar. Nicole was on the Id and I didn't hesitate to answer the call.

"Hey girl!" I said, my smile fading away as soon as I saw her sad face. Her eyes were a little red and I could see she's been crying. "What happened?"

"Men happened. And their stupid ability to cheat on us!" Nicole said, burying her head in her hands.

"Chris cheated on you???" I gasped and she only nodded. "Oh, that motherfucker. He is so dead..."

"God... I told you about that girl from work, Natalie. But turns out she wasn't the side chick. She was only a girl interested in him, Melinda was the one he was cheating on me! Those long nights of work were only and excuse to spend the night with that bitch!" She yelled while she devoured a spoon full of ice cream.

"How did you find out?" I asked, bitting my lip. I hate seeing people like that, especially Nicole. No one should feel that way. If you want to cheat on someone, maybe you shouldn't be even dating! If you are in a relationship with a person, and you fall in love with a second one, you should be with the new person. Because if you truly loved the first, there would never exist a second person.

"I read a text message. He was on the shower and I saw a notification on Whatsapp from Melinda. And another one, and another one. It just didn't stop! And at first I thought that she was throwing herself at my boyfriend, but after so many messages, I started worrying that maybe it was something urgent. So I unlocked his phone and opened the messages. She was talking about last night when he was supposed to be working, but he was actually at a bar with her, and then there were nudes and so many horrible things."

"Gosh, I'm so sorry, Nikki."

"Yeah, he is sorry too. When he got out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, he wanted to have sex, the motherfucking cheater wanted to have sex! I asked him if he wasn't tired from working the whole night. He said he was, but he would always have time for me. I asked him about work and he lied - God, he lied so much, and I had enough. I threw the phone at him, told him I knew about Melinda and threw him out of my apartment. Only in a towel."

"That's my girl!" 

She started crying and laughing at the same time. 

"And he stood there, whining and pretending he was sorry. I opened the door, threw him his clothes and everything he had here last night."

"Have he texted you?"

"Yeah, several times. I blocked his number for now. I am so sick of him. Do you believe I had to call the police? He wouldn't leave!"

"I would pay to see that!" I smiled weakly.

"Yeah, I know you do. You never liked him, did you?" 

I laughed but nodded. It's not that I didn't like him, Nicole was very happy with him. They dated for two and a half years, and she was basically in love. But there was something off about him. He didn't respect her when another hot girl would walk by. I mean, we know how men are, ok? But, sometimes it was just too much. And if a girl on a bar would go to him, he wouldn't just tell her to fuck off because he was with his girlfriend. He would even pay them drinks. He wasn't doing anything wrong, but it was strange behavior.

Nicole was way better when we decided to end the call. I convinced her to take a shower and leave her pajamas, put on some perfume and go shopping for a while. It was friday night after all, and she deserved to have some fun to forget that stupid asshole.

Of course, I didn't follow my own advice. I took a long and relaxing shower but decided to stay home. I didn't have anyone to go to on friday night.

I turned on the TV and made some popcorns, preparing myself to see something on Netflix. Probably some scary movie or a thriller. Anything but romantic movies or romantic comedies. After the conversation with Nicole, I didn't even want to think about love or anything like that. But soon after I was peacefully asleep on my couch, hugged to a light-grey pillow.

When I woke up the next morning, all sore from sleeping on the couch, I was amazingly well-rested.

Without going to the shower, I dressed some comfortable pants and a Deadpool walking on a unicorn, flipping off his finger with the Infinity Gaunlet t-shirt and drove to the Muffin's store. It was a little early, around 7.30 A.M., but the store was already opened. 

"Good morning, Ana." The old lady from the store said. She knows me so well since I come here almost every day now. "What's gonna be today?"

"Hmm..." I scanned the flavor are and decided to get me the apple one, but when I was paying, I decided to buy another one, to Chester.

I had to get ready to go to work, I wanted to get there early and help Janice with her new orders. There was a huge order and I had to talk to the suppliers to bring flowers sooner than usual, and they were supposed to arrive today, during the morning.

So before going inside to take a shower, I knocked on his door and waited for him to walk to the door. After placing the muffin plate on the floor, I rushed to my apartment and closed the door, smiling when I saw him taking the first bite in the muffin.

Soon after, there was a knock on the door, no one on the corridor, and a paper on the floor.

_Thank you, once again. Breakfast with these muffins is the best! Can't you really tell me where you buy them?_

Quickly, I grabbed the post its I had on purpose on the small furniture at the entrance, just in case I need to right notes... _Shush, don't mock me._

I knocked on his door and watch him reading the paper.

_Instead of telling you, wouldn't you want me to show it to you? I'd say tomorrow morning at 7.30 P.M._

There was a knock on my door soon after and I immediately kneeled to pick up the paper from the floor. A confused look appeared on my face as I read his strange words. He is really an unusual man.

_You shouldn't want to be in the company of someone like me._

I wrote another paper, confused and kinda pissed off with his stupid words.

_How would you know if you don't give me the opportunity of knowing you?_

His response was even more infuriating and I was getting tired of writing papers. I prefer to talk face-to-face, but somehow I knew that would not work with Chester. His words were that I would regret knowing him and I decided to ask him if it wasn't better if I was the one that got to chose that. He didn't answer that question, instead, he tried to run from the conversation.

_I don't usually have breakfast in the morning._

He thought I would give up, but before leaving for work, I wrote another paper and slide it under his door.

Chester heard the knock on the door and sighed, trying to fight the urge to just knock on my door and just talk to me, face-to-face. He knows he shouldn't, he knows he had to get away from everyone. Everything he touches, withers. And I was one of the nicest persons he ever had the opportunity of meeting. He didn't want me to know that side of him.

But he failed those thoughts when he read the paper I left him under his door.

_If you give me a chance to show you the place, you will absolutely change your mind._


	4. Loneliness

Good morning, darling!" Janice greeted me with her natural good mood and a wide smile on her lips. "You're here early."

"Yes, I wanted to be here to help you with the order. This one is huge, I didn't want you to be alone." I said, putting down my bag and tightening an apron around my waist.

Janice just smiled but didn't say anything else, so I got to work immediately, preparing the showcase for the day. I took out some red roses and white daisies outside, along with some cactus pots. I cleaned the floor outside for a cleaner and fresher image of the store and then organized the flowers in storage to make room for the order that was certainly arriving.

My phone rang several times during the morning, but I had no time to pick up after receiving the flowers. I had to check every flower to make sure they were in good conditions, count them and separate them according to the different flower arrangements ordered, by colors, and by types. Luckily, all this work made me take my mind away from Chester's interaction this morning. I wondered if he was going to show up at our breakfast. I was really hoping he would, and I have no idea why. I mean, I met the guy once and talked to him over notes.

_Something I have to change_, I thought to myself.

After lunchtime, Janice had a medical appointment and I took over the store all evening until it was time to close. When the store was calm and no clients were there, I took my phone out and checked who tried to call all morning.

It was Rachel. And my heart skipped a beat. My family stopped trying to talk to me after my grandmother telling them that I would talk to them when I'm ready.

Even though I was not ready to face them after almost a month away, I thought it might be something important, so I returned her call.

"Ana? Thank God, I thought you were ignoring me!" She said.

"Nonsense. I was working, Rachel. Is everything alright?"

She sighed.

"Define alright."

"So, what's going on?" I asked, leaning against the wall at the entry of the store.

She told me she was worried about me and wanted to make sure I was really alright. Then she told me that our grandmother and our mother are always fighting over me, her and Monica. Grandmother says my mother doesn't look at us like daughters or at least doesn't have time to do so. My mother says she has nothing to do with it and that's when the discussions are harder.

"I never saw Nanna so pissed off about anything, and mother is so sad because of that. She's sad since you went away."

"She should have thought about that before raising us this way."

"What is wrong with you? They did the best they could!" She yelled and I gritted my teeth.

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you and our family? Do you wanna know what made me flip the table??? Mother wanted to make me date Grantt's son so they could fuse companies. She basically wanted to sell her own daughter so she could make more money and keep ignoring us like they have been doing all our life!" I heard Rachel gasp. I never talked to them about what really happened that day, and I knew mother would never tell her herself, obviously. "You need to get out of that stupid bubble mother put you in and explore what life can offer you besides money! I wanted my freedom from that prison and I fought for it. What are you going to do when you realize your hands and feet are tied?"

She didn't answer for a while. I even thought I lost her, or she just hung up on me. But I was wrong.

"Can I visit you there? Wherever you are?"

I groaned and even though I knew it wasn't a good idea, I gave in to her request.

"You will come along and you have to promise not to tell a soul about my whereabouts."

"I promise! Pinky promise!" Rachel said.

"I am not joking, Rachel. No one can know. I just... I just need some peace ok?"

"Ok, ok! I get it!"

I watched as a new customer entered the store - the last for the day, I hoped -, and was looking at the cactus pots, so I said Rachel my goodbyes.

"I have to go now. Schedule a day and I'll send you the address. Bye, Rachel. Love you."

By the end of the day, I felt like going for a walk through the central park. Of course, I was not completely fine with the situation at home - or ex-home. Even though my parents neglected our family for years, they were still my parents and I missed them, as I missed my sisters, Nanna and even the friendly servants they have at the house. And as I watched the little kids playing with their families and their dogs at the park, I couldn't help but feel a tightness in my heart, as I always fell every time I observe my surroundings.

My phone interrupted my thoughts and I picked it up after seeing Nanna's name on the ID.

"Honey, how are you?" She greeted me.

"I am fine, Nanna. Thank you for everything - again. How are you? How are things at home?" I asked, hoping she would tell me about the discussions. But of course, she would never tell me things that she knows would upset me even more.

"I am fine, Ana. Don't worry about me. Can I visit you next weekend?"

"Of course!!! I would love that!"

"Good, good. I already miss the apartment. That's where I go when I need to be away from this house. I swear sometimes your sisters are the only reason I am still here."

"Is that bad, uh?" I asked, feeling a little sad that the reason our house is wrecked is because of me. Did I do the right thing to go away like that? Probably yes, but keeping the silent treatment is probably not the right thing to do right now... I know that, eventually, I have to talk to them... Eventually.

"Don't worry, darling. It is my fault, really. I spent too many years watching and not talking, even though I hated how they treated our family." Soon after she hung up the phone, and I was once again alone in that park.

Feeling the tears building behind my eyes, I decided to go home, hugging myself to stop the cold from freezing me.

When I was about to open the door to my apartment, I looked back to Chester's door. I wondered what he was doing, what he likes to do when he's at his apartment alone. I wondered what his hobbies are, and why is he so mysterious to me. But I shook those thoughts away and entered my apartment, intending to eat something and go to bed immediately. I need to get friends or something to do after work, otherwise, I will continue feeling lonely. And when I'm lonely, I think.

And when I think, I cry.  
  


***

I had a horrible night. My alarm was set for 7 A.M. but my body decided that it was a good idea to wake me up at 6. I groaned, buried my head on my pillow, tried to listen to some calm music to help me relax, but nothing worked. So I decided to fill up the bathtub and take a long and relaxing bath. No, I didn't fall asleep on the bathtub, nor relaxed. For some reason, I was anxious. Could it be from yesterday's conversation with Rachel and Nanna? Or maybe it's because I still have no clue if I was going to have company for breakfast that morning. But why would I be nervous about that?

I got out of the bathroom, wrapped in a toilet, my hair clipped up. I searched my drawers for clothes and decided to wear something more casual. Light blue denim, black shirt, and black Nikes. I put on my Escadas's perfume, Miami Blossom, and searched from some accessories in the jewelry box. I put on some simple earrings and bracelets before going back to the bathroom to dry my hair.

I was straightening it when I heard someone knocking on my door.

My heart skipped a beat and I cursed it for doing so.

I walked nervously to the front door and opened it - my heart skips another beat. _Damn it._

Chester was there with a shy smile on his lips and a strange expression on his shiny dark eyes. They remind me of those times I sneaked out through my window in my bedroom and climbed to the roof to look at the sky. Whenever it was New Moon, the sky was darker, but the stars were glistering as hard as they could, making sure my darkness was illuminated.

"Good morning," he said with a mocking expression after seeing how surprised I was.

"G--good morning, Chester. I'm glad you came. I didn't think you would."

"Me neither..." Chester admitted quietly. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, yes. Just let me go grab my purse and we're on the go!" I rushed to my bedroom to grab my black purse and turned off the lights.

"Let's go, then?" I said, gesturing him to walk out so I could lock my door.

"So, I'm about to meet heaven. Those muffins are divine." He said, trying to make the walk less awkward.

"Yes. They are. One of my favorite things about Phoenix."

"What are your other favorite things?" Chester made a devilish-innocent smile at me and I could feel my cheeks reddening.

"I'm still making that list," I admitted. "Once it's ready I'll tell you."

"I'll be waiting for it."

The whole way to the muffin's shop was a little quieter than I expected, but it wasn't awkward as I thought it would be. Luckily, we arrived quickly, finding the shop almost empty. The old lady smiled and waved at me as we made our way to the muffins stand to pick the flavor. They all look delicious, freshly cooked.

"This is going to be hard to pick." I heard Chester say, with his big brown eyes shining at the sight in front of him. I swear that if you stayed a little more he would start drooling. I just smiled at him and we ended up picking strawberry and caramel flavors along with some orange juice.

We picked the table in the corner, by the last window with a view for the street.

"So... neighbor." Chester turned his head to me, looking me in the eyes as I started speaking. "Have you always lived in that building?"

"No, I moved in a couple of years ago. I used to move a lot..." He seemed uneased with the conversation and I could easily perceive that, so I didn't ask why. Instead, I changed the course of our conversation and I could notice that he relaxed in his seat.

"Nice. I'm from another part of Arizona. I'm working as a florist at the shopping mall." I said smiling at the thought of my last few weeks living alone. I never thought I would actually manage to do it so easily. "What do you do for a living?"

"I am a teacher at the university. Music teacher," he said making me gasp in surprise. "What?"

"You look young for a professor. How old are you?"

"26" 

"Yep, too young, I wouldn't have guessed." I smiled at him. "What about your family? Where do they live?"

"Uh... I don't have anyone. It's... just me." He said, a flash of an inscrutable emotion passing through his eyes and he looked down, a bit embarrassed with the question. I felt bad for asking, but I just wanted to know more about him. I am not very good at this kind of conversation, I never was. Especially with a man. A gorgeous man. "What about you?" He interrupted my thoughts.

"I have a complicated relationship with my family right now..." 

"How come?"

"They... were focused on other things that looked more important than their own daughters and I was just tired of that, and... I moved out." I tried not to give too much information. I know that pink magazines love to write stories about the Clemonte - juicy stories - and eventually, they will find out that I moved out and my life will be all ragged in the papers. In the meantime, no one needs to know who I am.

"Daughters? You have sisters?" I almost sighed of relief when he didn't ask questions about what happened to make me move out, nor what kind of things they paid attention instead of us.

"Yes, two younger brats. Monica and Rachel. They are twins, but they don't look alike at all. And I don't look like I am their sister either." I let out a chuckle. "I would say we are all from different fathers. I used to joke with that, but my parents never like the jokes that much."

He laughed slightly.

"Why? What makes you different?"

"Well, first of all, my sisters have skin darker than mine. I am pale as a wall. Monica is a brunette, hair, Rachel is blonde and I have dark hair. It looks like my parents rang out of ink." He laughed. "The only common part is the dark blue eyes."

"Do you get along?"

"Sometimes. Monica is a little childish - she's still 21, but still... -, Rachel is a little more mature, but they live in a bubble my parents built around them. I am the free spirit of the family, basically." I grinned at him.

"And how old are you, may I ask?"

"I'm 25."

"Still a kid." He said in a mocking tone. I threw him a napkin and scolded him.

"Watch your mouth, old man!"

We continued laughing, telling things about ourselves that mostly describe us. I told him about my dream of becoming a psychologist. I studied hard all my life, and I have very good grades. I actually don't know why I don't write an application to the university. I think I lack the courage to do it, I don't know. We also talked about our hobbies - he jogs every morning before going to work, reads all kinds of books and love to watch movies in the cinema. Such a coincidence - the only thing I don't do is the morning jog. I am a lazy girl.

When the clock showed 8.30 A.M., we both walked outside the muffin's store to go to work.

"So, this is where I leave you," I said with an innocent smile.

"I had a good time, Ana," Chester said, giving me a goodbye kiss on the cheek, making me flush immediately. _God, please don't let him see it._

"Me too, Chester. Hey, don't you go telling people about this place! I like it quiet, at it is now." I punched him very gently in the shoulder.

"I promise." He said, kissing both his crossed index fingers. I smiled like a teenager would do in front of her crush, so I just finished the goodbyes and almost ran away from that place so that I wouldn't embarrass myself in front of him even more.

I furrowed my brows at my own strange behavior as I walked way through Phoenix's streets in the shopping mall's direction. I just met Chester and I never felt so nervous about someone new my entire life. What the hell was wrong with me? Is Nicole right, and I need to get laid? No, she can't be right. I am not like that. Not at all. I did it once, with one boy from the public school. I was 18 and was furious with my parents for canceling our family vacations because they had a big contract to close. So, instead of rescheduling the vacations, they gave us money to go shopping. I spent it buying drinks and lots of things for my friends at a party. I kinda liked the boy back then, he was really sweet. So, you know... beach party, bonfires, dunes, and all... Yeah, my first time was on the beach and the second one was in his bedroom. After that, we got mad with each other and we never spoke to each other ever again. I never had anyone since then...

I was deeply lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice that Chester was still where I left him, eyes locked in the dark-haired woman rushing down the street, lost in his own thoughts.


	5. It's hard to accept sincere compliments

****

The workday was not that hard to pass as I expected. I was so lost in my own world that I completed my work, heard Janice complaining about her back pain and even talked with customers all day.

I took a longer way back home. It was still cold outside, even though Spring was almost knocking on our doors. In all the nature around me, especially in spaces where human intervention is less prominent, the signs that we are almost at the end of winter are now very evident. You could see the green grass growing stronger on the floor, several kinds of flowers started to appear all over the parks in the city, and the trees had small green points in its' twigs threatening to explode into beautiful baby leaves. 

I've always been fascinated by nature whenever I appreciate the flowers and greenery of the gardens and mountains that resurface after "freezing"; it is as if time itself has stopped and now reappeared along with the life that was asleep or even "dead".

After my walk, I turned around at the end of the park and walked back home, rolling my scarf around my neck more tightly after feeling a shiver down my spine.

When I was unlocking the front door from the building I live in, I heard a familiar husky voice calling my name. Without looking back I greeted him.

"Good evening, neighbor."

"Hi, Ana, how was your day?"

"The usual - very floral." He let out a small chuckle as I opened and held the door for him.

We walked upstairs, talking about his classes and how talented most of his students are. If you heard him talking, you could feel the passion he has about teaching and about the music itself. He told me he knows how to play several instruments, but he only has a guitar at home - I miss my acoustic guitar. I left it home when I moved out and now I'm cursing myself for it.

When each of us reached for our keys and the doorknob, I stopped myself from going in and turned around as Chester said goodbye.

"Do you want to come in? I can make you some coffee -- or tea if you prefer."

He looked surprised by my invitation, and I could see the uncertainty in his eyes. I was about to tell him it was ok if he didn't want to go in when he shrugged and said he wouldn't mind having a tea.

I entered my apartment, taking off my shoes immediately as I do every day, taking off my coat and scarf before hanging them. Then I turned to the kitchen to put water in the electric boiler.

Chester was scanning my apartment with an appeased look on his face, as he made his way to the kitchen island.

"So, you were telling me about the instruments you play," I said, hoping that we had a good conversation theme to continue.

"Yes. I actually was in a band when I was a teenager."

I widened my eyes in surprise as I handed him some cookies and a cup of mint tea.

"Really?" He smiled at my surprise.

"Yes - strange phase of my life. But I actually miss it..." 

"Tell me more about it! Did it had a name?" I asked, sitting on the other side of the island, right in front of him, blowing the tea's steam.

"Xero. We were a Progressive, Alternative Rock band. We were kinda good back then."

"So, why did you break up?"

He looked me in the eyes as if he was searching for some way to escape that question. He swallowed hard as his smile and eased face vanished gradually. 

"It's ok, you don't need to tell me about it if you are not comfortable with that."

"Thank you," he smiled weakly. "There are some things that I am not comfortable saying out loud."

"It's alright. Don't mind me, sometimes I like to pry more than I should," He smiled again. "I got that from my grandmother, I think."

I heard Chester's phone vibrating inside his pocket and watched him as he took it out, read the message and became pale. It was like he was seeing a ghost that startled him since he jumped out of his chair and said it was time for him to go home. 

Chester is the strangest man I have ever met, and here I was thinking that I am a strange girl... He totally wins.

"I -- I really enjoyed our breakfast this morning." He said, deciding to give me a small smile before storming out of my apartment like that. It was not my fault that his life was so fucked up that he couldn't even handle a text message like the one he just received. I was one of the kindest people he has ever met, the first person that was actually interesting enough for him to lift his usually looking-down head. Yes, he thought of me as an interesting girl. He had to be polite at least, so before opening his door he said what was going on his mind.

"Me too, Chester," I admitted. "I was thinking that... maybe we could do it more times? I mean -- I'm alone. You're alone. I kinda need company sometimes."

_Really? Needy right now? _

He was taken aback by my suggestion. No. He was understanding it all wrong. I was just being nice to him because I probably feel sorry for him, he thought. No one in their right mind would be interested in knowing someone like him, and even if I was actually interested, I wouldn't be anymore after I find out about what he did. After I find out who he really was.

"I don't know..." He said, muttering an _I see you later, _before disappearing into the darkness of his apartment.

I was shocked at his eagerness to go back home but at the same time euphoric for having him in my apartment. After closing the door, suddenly everything became quieter than usual and I acknowledged that I was alone again. I looked at my watch and found out it was barely 8 A.M and I was hungry and sleepy. So I decided to make some soup for me and take a shower, in order to push Chester's thoughts away from my mind.

Obviously, I failed, and there was something in the back of my head, challenging me to write another note and slide it under his door. I was nervous about it because what I wanted to do was a whole new level of interaction, but after minutes of biting my nails, I ended up sneaking to the cold corridor, and deliver the note under the door without even bothering to knock or ring the bell.

_One might say that paper is outdated. We should evolve our neighbor-relationship to a digital level. It would be much more comfortable than walking in this cold and dark corridor.  
_

And I offered him my phone number, just in case...

I wasn't expecting him to text me right away. Or at all. 

But while I was on work, I received a message from an unknown number. I furrowed my brows but opened the text message, it could be important. Well, it kinda was.

_Hi, it's Chester. You're right, this is much comfortable. Anyway, I was wondering if I could return you the favor and take out to dinner tonight? I totally understand if you don't want to._

I smiled at his insecurity. Of course, I would love to have dinner with him. Besides, I have nothing better to do anyway. And I really, really am interested in knowing more things about him. Don't ask me why - I wouldn't know what to say.

_Of course. Pick me up at 7.30 P.M._

I put my phone down after reading his reply that confirmed the hour and resumed my work. I couldn't help but smile. I was going out with a guy I met. Look at me, I almost look like a normal girl, totally different from what my parents were trying to make me be. I felt proud of myself. But then, when I thought about my parents, there was a lump in my throat. I miss them, I really miss them. I feel hurt, but I miss them. And I know that I will have to call them or text them. I was just trying to get it together and see if I really am able to keep living like this. On my own.

Lost in my own thoughts, I finished the day quickly and went home immediately to take a shower and get ready for diner. I didn't want to seem like I was being too easy and trying to impress him with my clothes. So I chose a black dress, not too revealing and knee-length. I put on my red snickers, my red leather jacket and picked my black small purse.

I didn't put much effort on the makeup. Just some concealer under the eyes, some mascara in my lashes and a shiny gloss that really pumped up the redness of my lips. My black hair was straightened. It was getting longer every day and I couldn't cut it. I just couldn't. 

***

I looked at the clock on the wall and it was almost time for Chester to show up. And for some stupid reason, I was nervous. I was just being silly, but I couldn't help but feel anxious about our diner. I was never asked out before, especially by a man. So, in order to relax, I picked up my phone and started scrolling through Facebook, watching funny animals' videos. It was actually working, and taking my mind of the date - _can I really call it a date???   
_

But my happy expression faded away as I received an SMS notification from my mother. I gulped and opened it. 

_Ana, it's been too long. It's time to talk... At least tell me that you are fine, that you are comfortable and not in danger. I know we haven't been close to each other, and I know it is mostly my fault, but you're still my daughter and I want to know your whereabouts and about your wellbeing. Please, just give me some sign that you are well._

Well, it could be worse. Thank God I only used waterproof mascara. The concealer was totally ruined, though - I couldn't help but cry. I thought her message would be mean and filled with hurtful words, but she was genuinely missing me and worried about me. I know that I am still mad at their behavior as parents, but her message was really touching, more than she intended, probably. So, obviously, I wrote her a message and pressed send.

I looked at myself in the mirror and rubbed the ruined concealed from under my eyes. It was almost time to go out, but I still raced to the bathroom to redo it, to hide my puffed eyes. I did the best I could, but it was clearly noticeable that I have been crying. I just hope he doesn't ask me about it.

The bell startled me and I jumped, feeling my heart racing inside my chest. _Stop it_, I thought to myself as I grabbed my purse and walked to the door.

On the other side, the sight in front of me was simply unreal. Chester was wearing black pants and a dark blue shirt, that fit his body just fine. I could smell his fresh cologne that made me feel a twist in my stomach. When he lifted his eyes to me, I couldn't help but blush, as a beautiful smile appeared on his lips and his eyes were shining like two stars in the dark night. 

"Shall we?" I cleared my throat and asked. I don't know if he felt that change in the air when our eyes met, but I sure did.

He seemed like he was in a trance.

"You look... good." He said as we walked downstairs.

"You too," I chuckled, but didn't say anything else.

"The restaurant is nearby, I see you're not wearing high heels, which is good, we can walk." He said, breaking the silence.

"I am not a heels' lover. But I have them in my closet." I admitted. It's true. I only wore them when my mother asked me to, for her parties. I always end up with pain on my feet, so I hated it so much. When I moved out, I decided to bring two pair of high heels, just in case. _You never know. _

When we arrived at the restaurant, I was amazed by how I never actually noticed it when I walked back from work. It was almost on my way home, but I never paid attention to it. It was a small and cozy Italian restaurant. The waitresses were very nice and welcoming and helped us choosing the food.

"I really wanted to thank you for the breakfast and your good mood. I was really needing that." He said after the waitress left us alone to gather our order.

"I can see that. If you need someone to talk to, I live next door." I smiled and he smiled back, weakly, but he did.

"I don't like to talk..."

"Hey, only if you want to. I am not comfortable in telling personal stuff to people, especially someone that I just met. But if you need anything, I can at least help with muffins." I smiled and remained quiet as the waitress brought us our drinks.

"Why?" Chester asked after a while. I furrowed my brows confused by his question.

"Why, what?"

"Why are you interested in creating a connection with me?" I looked at him for a while, contemplating his question, trying to find the right answer that didn't expose how nervous I was feeling.

"You seem a good person. I need good people in my life." I simply said.

"You are wrong." He said, his face totally disposed of any sign of happiness or even a slight smile. He was serious, his eyes were dark, and he was deeply focused on me as if he was trying to see my soul through my eyes. I could look him in the eyes for eternity, but I knew it was not appropriate, not for the occasion, nor the conversation we were having.

"Prove to me that I am wrong, then." I lowered my voice, feeling overwhelmed with the conversation. I wondered why he was saying those words. _What secrets does he have?_

"I don't want to-- If I told you things about me, you wouldn't want to talk to me, ever again." He said, finally diverting his gaze down to his glass of water. I could see something flashing through his eyes - hurt, sadness, sorrow. Guilt?

"I seriously doubt that, but I won't pressure you. I just want to know you better, at least -- know what you want me to know. Besides... " I smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "We are neighbors after all. I have to find someone who lends me some olive oil whenever I run out of it."

Chester chuckled and his eyes were back to mine, sparkling again. And I could see its brown features, not only the dark color I saw just moments ago.

"You know? You are the first neighbor I have ever interacted more than a few seconds." He admitted.

"I know. The old lady from the fourth floor might have a crush on you. She never stops talking about the mysterious man from the first floor," The moment I said it, I swear I saw Chester's cheeks turning slightly red. He was blushing - so cute! "You're not used to compliments, are you?"

He muffled a laugh, trying to divert his look and stop the redness from his face. It was too late for that.

"I am not used to human interaction at all, - but yes, I'm not used to compliments."

"Well, you might want to get used to it, because I love to compliment people around me." He chuckled. "Nala, the old lady thinks you're a hottie and that being mysterious makes you even more interesting. She's just not very fond of your tattoos and piercings."

His smile slowly faded away. "Oh..."

"But I like them." He was caught by surprise with my confession. I continued the conversation, not giving my brain an excuse to make me blush too with my cheeky move. "Do you make them just because you like them, or is there any meaning behind them?"

Chester rolled up his sleeve and showed me the flames on his wrists.

"Each of them represents a new phase in my life or something that happened that I don't want to forget and that I need to learn from."

"How many do you have?" I analyzed his scars, but I narrowed my eyes when I saw vertical scars on each wrist. He immediately rolled down his sleeves and put his arms back to his lap. In the meantime, the waitress brought us our orders, pasta for both of us. They were... cuts? _Did he try to kill himself? _Even if he did, I wouldn't definitely ask him about - I don't want him to be mad at me for prying.

Chester chuckled and thought for a moment, but eventually admitted that he had lost count. Maybe he would count them just to tell me how many tattoos he has.

"Damn, you had that many phases in your life worthy of becoming a tattoo?" I asked, obviously curious about his life. Even though he has the most gorgeous smile and a shine in his eyes when he talks to me, I can see that there's weight behind them, something dark that might keep him awake at night and terrified during the day. No one should ever live like that, especially not a good person like Chester appeared to be.

"I... I've been through a lot." He admitted, looking at his food, lost in his thoughts.

"I believe in you... Your eyes tell me that."

He looked at me and laughed.

"You're that kind of person that reads those things? You're going to read my hand too?"

I grimaced at him and faked a laugh, rolling my eyes, but then I smiled warmly at him.

"I always loved human psychology, and I read a lot about it. I mean -- really, a lot. I actually thought about going to some university and become a psychologist. And yes, our eyes and our expressions tell more than we wanted them to."

"What do my eyes say to you, then?" Chester leaning slightly to the table, looking more deeply to my eyes. I couldn't stand his stare for too long, for some fucking stupid reason, so I tried to run away from that question, but I only condemned myself even more.

"You might not want to know. But they are beautiful. And mysterious. And shiny."

Once I said those words, I knew there was no coming back. He had heard them and he was looking at me embarrassed, with his face flustered. I gulped, feeling a knot in my stomach, but tried to fight the urge to run away like a mad woman.

So I laughed.

"See? I only compliment your eyes and you're all blushed, imagine if I said you are one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen."

He threw me his napkin and I laughed at him and at his embarrassed behavior. Chester was totally not used to this kind of conversations and the way he reacted was too sweet to forget - I decided that compliments should be included in most of our conversations. Besides, it makes him feel better, I think. At least he was laughing and smiling more than he ever had. Which was odd for him, he doesn't remember the last time he had so much fun with someone.

We stayed in the restaurant, talking and laughing until it was midnight and we only had to leave because the restaurant was about to close.

The night was calm, a light breeze could be felt, but it wasn't too cold. You could already feel that Winter was almost over, and Spring was taking over - finally. We walked very slowly, giving us more time to talk about many things, including his job as a music teacher.

"What kind of things do you teach? I mean, I have no idea what you learn in a music course."

Chester let out a sultry laugh that made me quiver. And the way he talked about his job was so inspiring. He was passionate about music, about playing instruments. But what he likes most; what he really loves to teach is singing. I wondered how his voice would sound during a song, what kinds of songs does his voice fits and what he loves to sing the most. But I left those questions for another time since we were already in front of our apartment's doors.

I searched for my keys in my purse and turned around to open my door, as Chester leaned his back against his door and looked at me in a deeply contemplating way.

Once I was able to open my door, I was bitting my lower lip, trying to stop me from speaking, but I knew it was a lost battle. I turned around and snapped Chester from his thoughts.

"Do you want to come in for a tea, or something?"

He widened his eyes at my request. Chester was thinking that our night was over and that he had to go back to his dark, cold and sad apartment, back to his pitful life. He considered for a moment that maybe I didn't have much fun as he had, or that I didn't enjoy being around him as he enjoys being around me. He even cursed himself for feeling that good just for spending a few hours with an unknown person that he was more than thrilled about knowing. But when I asked him to come in, Chester knew that I did really enjoy our time together and that I wasn't faking it just for the sake of being a good neighbor.

"At one in the morning?" He asked, trying to conceal his contentment.

I looked at my watch embarrassed.

"You're right, it's late. I'm sorry I asked."

I was about to turn around when Chester spoke, making me stop and smile at him, only to realize he was smiling so lovely at me.

"I would love to."


	6. Nanna knows what's best

Chester was sitting at the edge of the window near the dining table, watching the stars in the sky - something I use to do in that same spot. It reminds me of the times I climbed to the roof of my previous house and relaxed, where no one could bother me.

I approached him with two tea mugs in my hands and handed him his, not speaking a word. I think he was too lost in his own world that I don't think he even noticed when I climbed to the window frame to his side. My legs were hanging on the outside of the wall, but there was no way I could fall down - the fire escape was just under my foot.

"I like your apartment," he said under his breath. "On my side, the trees don't let me have a good look at the sky like you have here."

"Thank God this apartment has this view, otherwise I wouldn't handle being here. Back in my old house, I would climb out of my window to the roof and just lay there watching the open sky." I smiled reviving the good memories of that place.

Chester looked at me by the corner of the eye. He was used to be sad and in deep shit, so he knew when someone was having troubles in life. But even though he sensed my distress when I talked about home, he chose not to pester me with unwanted questions.

"This is my grandmother's apartment. She lived here with my grandfather and this is where she raised her children." I admitted, drinking a sip of my tea to make me feel more comfortable with the conversation.

"Where is she?"

"Living with my parents and my sisters."

As he noticed the distress in my voice, he bit his lower lip to stop him from asking what happened that made me move away.

"What about your grandfather?"

"He... died of lung cancer a few years ago. It was painful to watch, but it was quick though. He was a very strong man until the end. If someone else saw him, they would say he was the same as ever, happy, smiley. But we lived with him every day and we knew he was in deep pain. But there was nothing we could, besides morphine and other painkillers."

Chester remained quiet for a while, cursing himself for asking.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I asked."

"It's ok... It's been some years already. But I miss him... I miss him for many reasons, but mostly because he made my grandmother happy. If you saw them, you would feel their affection. God, after so many years, they still cared for each other like the first day. They made you believe in love." I said with a weak smile on my face.

"Don't you believe in love?" He asked me, shocked with himself for making that question. Chester noticed how relaxed he was around me and how he would speak what is going on inside his head that easily. That was not good.

I looked at him in the eyes for the first time we sat on the window, searching for a way to answer his question... Or maybe I was searching for the right answer.

"How can I believe in something I never felt?" I asked, sighing in defeat and releasing a chuckled trapped in my throat. "Every time someone got closer to me it turned out to be out for their own personal interest. My family... has money. Lots of money. And you know that attracts all kinds of people- opportunists."

He looked at me with his eyes opened, not wanting to believe what I just said. Chester always thought that I was a simple and humble girl fighting for survival, but it turns out he was wrong. Now he was even more interested in knowing what happened to me. Why was not in a big mansion surrounded by servants to do whatever I want and have a room just for my clothes. At least, that's what all girls would do if they were rich.

At least, all the girl he knew.

"What happened?" He finally asked the question he was eager to ask.

So I told him everything: I told him I was a Clemonte. That my parents own the Clemonte's company and lots and lots of other businesses and that they wanted me to have a career in their company - even though I don't want to. I told him about the falsehood of that life and how everything is just a big pretend game for that kind of people. I told Chester how my parents forgot they had daughters and neglected us for years. And how I had enough when she wanted me to date and marry Peter.

"It's frustrating! I had enough of that. I took a few clothes that I really like, my own money that I worked for and my grandmother just understood me and helped me. And here I am. Working as a florist assistant."

Chester was totally shocked by now. But he shouldn't be. He knows how parents can be. How they can hurt you without even knowing. He knows what it feels like.

"You know what? I admire you, even more, Ana." He said, making me lift my head to look at him with a confused expression on my face. He smiled at the way I curled on side of my lips as I tried to understand what he was trying to say.

"All the money in the world don't matter if you don't have the right people by your side. I'd rather be out of money, maybe my family was more united." I admitted, sighing deeply. "Money causes more problems than it solves. That much money it's bad to people, it corrupts the purest piece of your soul. And there are a lot of people that need the money more than I do, so... I'm good."

Chester just stared at me with his eyes opened and half a smile on his lips. His big brown eyes were sparkling like he was looking right to the illuminating light of the moon.

"You're wonderful," he muttered unexpectedly, instantly making me blush and look away from his intimidating stare. I felt him smiling. "It looks like I am not the only one used to compliments."

"Not sincere ones," I admitted, my eyes still connected to the ground, counting the number of cars that pass by as a way to stop myself from feeling that flustered. But when I felt Chester's hand land on my hand, I blushed even more.

"Hey," he whispered, as a way to make me look at him. "Everything that I say is sincere. I hate lies and falsehood. I am not the most talkative guy, but everything I tell you it is sincere, I promise you."

I stared at him, totally unaware of time and place, a new whole feeling for me, so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice that I started to brush his hand with my thumb. I think not even he was aware of what I was doing until his eyes fell on our hands. He started shaking, just by the sensation that my touch provoked in him.

Suddenly - as if he remembered that he left the stove on, or something like that - he jumped out of the window, saying that he needed to go home because it was very, very late. Chester felt something he never felt before when he felt my touch - like everything was going to be alright for him. That someone cared for him, no matter what. And the way he punishes himself and has been punishing over the years leave no space for him to feel that way. He just can't. So he just needed to get away from me, get some air, and forget that amazing feeling.

"You're right, it's late. I'm sorry for keeping up this long..." I said, walking him to the door. He got out immediately, reaching for his doorknob. "Chester..." I called him and he took a moment before looking back at me. "It's good to have a neighbor who I can count with."

He just smiled weakly and disappeared to his apartment without pronouncing one more word, leaving me speechless at my door.

***

Saturday night has arrived and my grandmother was on her way to visit me. So I got up in the early morning, made breakfast and cleaned the whole house. I wanted to impress her, to let her know that I can handle myself and know how to take care of her dearest house. The only thing left to do was the laundry, I learned that I love to iron my clothes. It's an opportunity to turn on the TV and catch up with my favorite TV shows like Agents of SHIELD.

I heard the bell ringing and rushed to the door. At first, I thought it could be Chester - silly, I know. But I also know my grandmother has the keys but I bet she would never enter the house without being really necessary. She's that respectful.

"Nanna!" I hugged her when I opened my door and she was smiling at me with a smiling bag on her hand and my guitar bag in the other.

"How are you, my darling?"

I helped her put the bags inside and took a look at my beautiful guitar. How I missed it so much!

"I'm feeling so good, Nanna. I really don't know how to thank you enough. I love the apartment, my job, Janice... It's wonderful..." She smiled at me and sat on the couch, scanning her apartment, probably feeling a bit of nostalgia in her heart. I know she misses grandfather all the time, and being back to their apartment must bring her some memories back.

"It's better to see this place like this, rather than dusty and covered with white sheets as it was before." She admitted.

"How are things at home?" I asked suddenly, catching her off guard.

"Better, but I'm still trying to make your parents understand that they have been acting like two negligent parents."

I told her about my mother's text message but she didn't seem very surprised. She said my mother was becoming softer, especially when someone talked about my disappearing. She says she just wants to talk to me.

Not wanting to make our conversation start with this hard theme, I took her out of the apartment, to show her how Phoenix changed since she moved. I even showed her the Muffin store, constantly remembering myself of the day I took Chester there to have breakfast with me. I tried to forget Chester for a moment, but it was getting harder, as we visited Janice and her and Nanna just talked for hours. We even had lunch together. So, obviously, I eventually took my phone and wrote him an SMS.

_Is everything alright? I haven't' seen you since Thursday._

But he didn't answer me, so I put my phone down and ignored his existence for the rest of the day. Or tried.

Around 5 P.M., Nanna and I were back at home, with the TV on her favorite soap opera. She was doing her usual crosswords book and I was reading a book by her side when there was a knock on my door. Nanna looked at me and I furrowed my brows, part of me hoping that it wasn't Chester. I would have to tell her everything about him, and I wasn't ready for that. At all.

Life always contradicts our desires, so, when I opened the door there he was: dressed all in black, his fresh cologne hovering my doorstep, and an apologetic smile on his lips; then I noticed a bag from the Muffin's store in his hand.

"Hi..." I said, feeling my stupid heart racing.

"Well, I wanted to apologize for rushing out of your apartment the other day and disappearing. I brought different flavored muffins, I realized I don't know what your favorite is. -- Anyway, I was hoping you could make me some tea."

I was fumbled and embarrassed. I knew very well well that my grandmother was listening to me on the couch and would at any moment peek to see who was the man on the door offering me Muffins. So I tried to send him away as nicely as possible.

"It's sweet of you... but I have visitors -- it's not a good time."

Chester's smiled faded away gradually. His first thought was that I had a man in my house and he was interrupting something. For some reason, he even felt a sting in his heart - jealousy. But he had nothing to do with whoever I had in my life. He was just my neighbor, after all.

"Oh -- I didn't know. I'll talk to you later then, I don't want to bother you." His eyes traveled from mine to something behind me and his expression softened.  
  


"Nonsense!" As soon as I heard Nanna's voice behind me, I closed my eyes in frustration, knowing she would scold me for not telling her about my neighbor My hot, beautiful neighbor. "If you're Ana's friend, you're more than welcome. Come on in!"

Chester looked at me as if he was apologizing, but obeyed my grandmother's instructions.

"What's the name of this lovely young man with such rebel appearance?" Nanna asked and I prayed that the floor would open under my feet and swallow me.

"I'm Chester Bennington, ma'am." He said, handing her the muffins. She opened the bag and smiled warmly.

"I'll make us some tea! And call me Alice, ma'am makes me feel old. You two go to the couch, I'll be right behind you." She left us to boil some water and prepare a tray with mugs and muffins.

"I am so, so sorry. I didn't know she was here." He whispered as soon as we were on the couch.

"It's all right, don't worry. So, what happened? Why did you run away the other night? Was it something I said?"

"No -- no, not at all." He wasn't counting with that question.

"You disappeared for two days... I thought I did something wrong."

"I'm sorry, Ana... I just --"

"So, Chester, where are you from? Where do you live? My sweet Ana never told me about you, I always like to know all of her friends." My grandmother interrupted our conversation, setting the tray on the small table next to the couch. Then she sat in the individual couch and looked at me with the most innocent smile she was able to fake. _Damn this woman!_

"I'm actually from Phoenix and live in the apartment next to yours. I must say, your apartment is lovely."

"Oh... I married and raised my children here..." She then babbled about her life story and how she met my grandfather after the second great war. I really hope she is not boring and scarring Chester away. It was nice to have him as a neighbor, though. I should start saying goodbye, after this whole scene with my grandmother I bet he will even move out.

But as I was observing the two of them, I noticed how his eyes were not dark as usual: they were brown, like the pine bark, and so, so shiny. He was really focused and interested in her conversation, asking her questions, laughing and feeling all the emotions that Nanna was transmitting with her life story. It was lovely to see her leaning back in her favorite couch, remembering all the good memories she has, and he was looking at her with a smile on his lips, both of them drinking apple and cinnamon tea, and eating Muffins. It was such an image that I will never want to forget.

Before dinner, Chester got up and said it was time to leave.

"No, please, stay. I'll make us some dinner." My grandmother said.

"Oh-- no, really it's not necessary. I already have plans, so I'll have to ask for a rain check. But thank you, Janice. It was such a pleasure to meet you. I can see where Ana got her kindness and sympathy." Chester said while kissing her knuckles.

"You are such a lovely boy!" She said, slightly blushed with his behavior. "Please, come by any time you want."

"Nanna, you do know I am the one living here, don't you?"

She gently slapped my arm and shushed me. Chester chuckled and left after kissing my knuckles too, while he stared right into my eyes. I closed the door after he exited the apartment and turned around to find my grandmother with her arms crossed, foot hitting the ground as if she was about to scold me, but a mocking grin in her face.

"What? Don't even think about it!" I said, hoping that she didn't start having the usual conversation about me getting a boyfriend. Obviously, it is Nanna we're talking about, she will always talk about that.

"I don't know why you didn't tell me about him."

"There's nothing to talk about, Nanna. I met him just a few weeks ago. And only had breakfast and diner with him."

"You had dates and you didn't tell me?" She gasped. "Shame on you!"

I rolled my eyes at her and went to the kitchen to start dinner.

"You should go for it. He is very handsome and a gentleman. And I think he is quite fond of you, Ana. The way he looks at you... I know a good love story when I see one."

I widened my eyes at her.

"Nanna!"

"Well, of course, your mother will have an attack. Piercings and tattoos... Yes, she will rip her hair off. First, you moved out, didn't date Peter - the rich boy - and then you have a punk boyfriend... Tsk, she's going to disown you, my dear."

I laughed at her remark, but scolded her for calling him my boyfriend.

And all she said was _yet_.

"Anyway, darling, Peter Grantt came to me the other day and asked me if I could ask you to give you his address. He wanted to visit you and check if - and I quote - were still alive or died of hunger since you don't know how to cook."

"Didn't! Didn't know how to cook! Now I know. That bastard!" I heard Nanna laugh while she was cutting some carrots. "You can give him my phone number. I'll think about giving him my address after."

"All right, Ana. You're a lucky girl. A gorgeous punk man and a rich one after you. Who wouldn't want that?"

She mocked me and I rolled my eyes, groaning in frustration, as I turned around to stir the pan on the stove with a smile on my lips. Chester and Nanna got along pretty well, and I couldn't get the image of them talking so friendly to each other out of my mind.


	7. Two different men

"I'm sorry if my grandmother made you uncomfortable the other day," I told Chester while we were back to my window frame, sitting with our legs hanging to the fire escape stairs. Chester knocked on my door around 8.30 P.M., hoping that he could hang out for a while. Apparently, he had a rough day at work and needed to unwind a little.

"Not at all. She is actually really nice. And I love her story with your grandfather. I think I would love to meet him."

"Yeah, he would definitely like you," I said with a huge grin on my face as I remembered some happy moments I spent with him before he died. I told Chester about how he used to take me fishing in his small boat to the lake near our house, much to my mother displeasure. He taught me how to fish, how to fire a gun (yes, my granddad was that cool), he even taught me how to sneak out of the house in the middle of the night, knowing that my mother was very strict with me and would be pissed off.

Chester was listening to every word I said, happy because I was sharing those memories with him, but jealous because he wanted to have family stories as I have. He was sad because his family was all about discussions, tragedies, and he wasn't capable of looking them in the eyes, after everything that happened. He shook all those thoughts away and focused on what I was saying, on the shine behind my eyes, and the way my red lips move with each word I say. That moment he remembered of something: my dark shiny hair, pale skin, rosy cheeks, dark eyes, and red lips were just like Snow White. Like a princess.

"Hey, are you listening to me?"Chester was snapped out of his thoughts by my voice and my hand touching his shoulder. "I'm talking too much ain't I?"

"No! No -- of course not. I was listening to you... I was just wondering what other skills do you have? I mean, you know how to fish, fire a gun and be a ninja. And you definitely know how to take care of a house. I wonder what other skills you must have."

I laughed at him and he just smiled even warmly.

"Ninja? Alright, I can live with that. Uh... I know jiu-jitsu. My grandfather helped me convince my mother to pay me for some classes. I was really good."

"Wow, really? I mean -- could you just knock me out if you want to?"

"Well, I don't like to brag but... I actually stopped a robbery by knocking two guys out. So... yeah, a girl knows how to defend herself. I can teach you one day if you want to."

"I really don't want to be on your bad side now." He laughed. "I would never guess that about you."

"Why? Because I'm a girl?" I asked, crossing my arms and lifting a brow at him.

"No. Because you're such a peaceful and lovely woman."

"Nice save." I hit him with my elbow. "I also know how to play the guitar."

"Really?" He asked with a huge smile on his lips. "We should play together then, one day."

"I'd love that."

Chester stared at me for a while as if he was wondering if he should say something that was on his mind. It really looked like he was battling really hard, trying to hold himself. I ignored his stare and continued drinking my hot tea and watching the street under us and the stars up in the sky. Eventually, I heard him clearing his throat and ask in a low voice.

"I've noticed that you like superheroes." He said randomly. I narrowed my eyes, trying to understand why he said that and how he knows that.

"What? How?" I looked him in the eyes. For a moment I felt dizzy and some weird tension when I noticed we were shoulder to shoulder, very close to each other. But I decided to ignore it the best I could.

"You have a keychain of Captain America's shield, and there are action figures on the side of your TV, along with blue-rays of previous movies."

"Oh -- you noticed that?"

"Yes... Uh -- I saw you with some Loki's t-shirt the other day too, so I suppose you like MARVEL." He was getting nervous and embarrassed with the conversation, already cursing himself for thinking he could do what he intended to do.

"Yes, I love MARVEL. I saw all the movies and read the comics. My mother always thought it was a boy thing, but... well, I don't care."

"Really? You've seen all the movies?" He bit his lower lip. "Even the new Spider-man's movie?"

"Oh -- not that one. Yet." I smiled. "Why?"

"Well -- I, uh... I was wondering if you would want to go to the movies with me tomorrow and see Spider-Man. Of course, I understand if you don't--"

"Stop it, Chester!" I said sternly, making him look me in the eyes with a confused and a scared expression on his face. "I hate when you say that _you understand if I don't want to_. Why wouldn't I want to go out with you? You're a really nice guy and I do enjoy hanging around with you." We smiled at each other and I gave him a little bump with my shoulder. "So, please, if you want to go out with me, don't ever be afraid to ask. Me or -- any other woman. Any woman would love to go out with you. And after knowing that you realized that I like something without me telling you it's really cute."

"Wow... thank you?" I chuckled, seeing his cheeks reddening. "Well..." He cleared his throat. "Do you want to see Spider-Man with me tomorrow night?"

I scratched the back of my neck and looked up as if I was thinking hard.

"I'll have to check my schedule for tomorrow..." He slapped the back of my neck gently and we both started laughing. "I'd love to."

He got up from the window, placing both our mugs in the kitchen.

"8 P.M. here?" He asked.

"Yes, I'll be waiting for you," I said, before guiding him to the door. It was late and we both needed to get some rest. Before exiting the apartment, Chester took my hand, looked me in the eyes with a devilish expression and kissed my knuckles.

***

The next day I came home early from work. It was a peaceful day, so around 3 A.M. I was back home with nothing to do. I took off my shoes and my bra (I hate bras) and lay down on the couch, praying that I could fall asleep. But when my head it the pillow, my phone started ringing. I didn't recognize the number, and at the same time, my stomach was twisting in fear that it might be my family.

"H-- Hello?"

"Hey, Ana! What's up? It's Peter. Peter Grantt." I sighed in relief after hearing his voice and just greeted him with the same enthusiasm he used. "So, how's your life going? I can't believe you actually moved out!"

"Yeah, I was sick of all that shit..."

"Well, I must say - You have balls. Your mother was so pissed off."

"You saw my mother?"

"Yeah, I came back the next day after that stupid dinner to see you and they told me what happened. I admire you," I chuckled. "I really do."

"You're sweet. But why did you want to see me that day? And why you asked my grandmother for my phone number?"

"Well -- uh, I -- I wanted to see you. I don't know. When my parents told me about you and about their idea of dating you, I was totally not interested. Going to that party of yours was such a huge sacrifice. But then, I met you and I saw that you're so different from what I pictured you. It's not easy to find a girl in my world that thinks like you. And that is not total boredom."

I smiled at his words.

"So, I wanted to know how you're doing and if I can ever visit you. Just for a coffee. I was thinking that you could give me your address and I could pick you up next weekend?"

"Oh -- yeah, sure. Why not?" I chuckled.

"Great! Great... Uh -- I'll call you before I get into the driveway. Bye, Ana. Can't wait to see you."

"Bye, Peter."

I hung up the phone and stared at the ceiling. Was Nanna right? Two boys, totally different in my life, want to go out with me. I don't know them very well, Chester is such a mystery to me, and I only met Peter twice in my entire life. So what the hell should I do? Maybe I'm just overthinking and this is just pure friendship. I think we'll have to find out.

When I looked to the clock on the wall I almost jumped. 7.30 P.M. I just spaced-out for hours!!! And besides getting ready to go out with Chester, I have to make something for dinner! Fuck, I have to start moving.


	8. Unbearable behavior

"There you are!" I said when I opened the apartment door to find Chester waiting for me with his hands in his pockets. He scanned my clothes and smirked. I was wearing my Loki's t-shirt and had my hair in two braids. There was no need for makeup. After watching Avengers: The Endgame, I decided I would never wear makeup to the movies, **ever again.**

"Come on, let's go." He gently placed a hand on my lower back and gestured me to walk.

He had the tickets in his smartphone, so we didn't need to get in the line. Obviously, I wanted to buy popcorns, I love popcorns. And Chester was being an asshole and didn't let me pay for anything. So I told him next week we would go to the movies again and I was the one paying for everything. He didn't even argue. He was happy that I wanted to go out with him again.

The movie didn't disappoint me, they never do. I've been following these movies since the first Iron Man in 2008. Eleven years of this shit and I still love every goddamn movie. It's sad because there's a whole phase that is ending, and most of my favorite superheroes won't be in the next movies, but I'm confident about the next phase. It's such a legacy Stan Lee left us. 

"Hey, did you enjoy it?" Chester asked me when we exited the building.

"Yes, so much. Tom Holland has matured as spider-man. I loved it. But I can't wait for the next one" I said too excited, but my smile faded away when I felt how cold it was outside. Chester noticed it and immediately took his jacket off, putting it on my shoulders without me noticing. "It's not necessary," I lied.

"Shut up," Chester said, giving me that innocent but devilish smile.

"Thank you," I said, approaching my shoulder to his while we started walking through the streets filled with people roaming. It was night time already, but there were lots of people walking outside. "And thank you for the movie, it was amazing."

"I was wondering if you want to go to a bar and grab a drink?"

"Yes, of course." I smiled, feeling a turmoil inside my lower belly, anxious about him wanting to spend more time with me.

Then we walked a couple of blocks, talking about MARVEL movies and how I really enjoy them since the start. I told him about the collection of comic books I have in my ex-home. Some of my favorites were with me, obviously. And I still read them sometimes.

"I really thought you were one of those girly fans that only watch the movies for the hot guys." Chester chuckled as we walked inside the calm bar and took a sit in the corner.

"Oh, don't get me wrong. They are hot. All of them. Damn, I can't even say which one of them is the best!" I mocked him and he made a priceless shocked face, not expecting that answer at all. For a moment Chester even felt a tip of jealousy of the way I talked about them - but who can blame me? They are really good looking. "But I do love the stories. Even if they chose ugly actors - but good ones - I would love the movies anyway. My love for MARVEL exists since childhood."

"Nice. Well, I grew up reading DC's comic books, but MARVEL movies are the best, I must admit that."

"I also love DC's comics books. I have the Killing Joke, first edition in my apartment."

Chester widened his eyes.

"Having rich parents have its perks sometimes," I laughed at his shock. "I'll show it to you one day. It's my little treasure, so you should feel honored that I am willing to share it with you. I never let anyone near it."

He put a hand on his chest dramatically.

"You honor me, Ana."

Chester asked me what I wanted to drink and went to the bar to ask for our drinks. I stayed there, waiting for him and scanned the bar around me. It was small, but since we arrived more people had arrived too, and it was starting to get fuller. It reminded me of those small pubs from London, cozy, but where nothing is boring, ever. There was a guy playing guitar and singing differents acoustic songs, and he was kinda good. My eyes traveled a little more but stopped when I noticed a guy sitting on the other side of the room, just staring at me. He had black hair and black beard, his eyes were brown, but he looked different - he looked like one of those Japanese-Americans. He was pretty, but his intense stare was actually scary.

Soon after, Chester arrived with our drinks and I focused my attention in our conversation, often looking at the man that was staring at us.

"Since you wanted to go to the movies next week, what would you like to see?" He asked.

"I don't know. You chose."

"Lion King? I love Lion King." Chester said and I turned my attention to him.

"Oh my God, likes Marvel, likes DC, likes Lion King? Please, marry me." I joked but sensed Chester tensing up even though he was showing a smile. "Lets' talk about music. What kind of music do you like?"

"I like different genres... I hear everything - I am a teacher, after all. But I do have some favorites, like Depeche Mode, Radiohead, Dead By Sunrise, Soundgarden... What about you?"

"Red Hot Chili Peppers, mostly. I hear everything, but Red Hot are like my Gods."

"Yeah, they're good."

"Good? They're amazing! How dare you?"

He chuckled and finished his cup of water, as I finished my martini. I was actually getting pissed off by the staring man on the other side of the bar. Maybe it has nothing to do with me, though. Chester could know the guy.

"Chester, don't look back, please. But there's this man staring at us since we came in. He's on the other side of the bar. Do you think you might know him?"

Chester narrowed his eyes at me.

"Describe the man, please."

"Instead of describing him, I can take you a picture with my phone and I can include him in it."

Chester laughed but nodded.

"You only wanted to take a picture of me, don't you?" He laughed while I handed him the phone and he started zooming in. "You could just ask, I would--" He froze, with his brows furrowed, staring at the phone.

"What is it? Do you know him?" I asked, but he didn't answer. He just nodded but didn't tell me who he was. Instead, he handed me my phone, grabbed my hand, and pushed me out of the bar without giving me an explanation. "What's wrong? What's happening?"

"We need to go home." He said, ignoring my questions, looking over his shoulder as we walked in a fast pace to his car.

"What the hell is this, Chester? Who is that guy?"

"Please, just -- get in the car and don't ask questions."

I stared at him, shocked by his request. He asks me to go out with him, takes me to the movies, to a bar, but them forces me to go home, and the only thing he tells me is _don't ask questions?_ For what I know, Chester has a very hard and sad past, I don't know what happened, and if he doesn't want to tell, that's fine. But behaving like this without giving me a fucking explanation is just infuriating.

But even though I was angry, I preferred to go home with him rather than walking alone. So I entered his car, without saying a word, without asking him anything else.

If he wants to talk to me, fine. But I am not in the mood for hearing anything he wants to say. That's why when we arrived at our building and went upstairs, Chester grabbed my wrist and sighed.

"Ana... I --"

I interrupted him.

"No. Enough with your excuses. Thank you for the movie. Have a good night, Chester." I turned around and entered my apartment, leaning my back against the door and sighing as I dropped my body to the floor. What the hell happened to him to make him be so... strange. Strange? I don't even know if that word can even describe what he is.

I decided to call it a day, putting on my pajamas and heading for bed.

***

In the next day, Janice would be in the store all morning and I would stay there alone, alone with my thoughts - all of them involving Chester. I wonder what kind of mess I was getting into just by being with him like we have been.

"Darling, are you alright?" Janice interrupted my thoughts. She has been observing me since lunchtime and she could sense something was wrong with me.

"Yes, I just have some things on my mind right now."

"Well, if you need to talk about the boy you're thinking about, I'm here to hear you out."

I laughed.

"How do you know I am thinking about a boy?"

"I had the same look in your eyes when I met my husband. Confusion, anger, denial, care, affection. I think an old lady like me can give you good advice if you ask. What about I make you dinner tonight at my house and if you want to talk about it, I'll listen to you. If not -- at least I'll have company."

"Thank you, Janice, I would love to."

The rest of the day was not very long. Work was soft and soon we closed the door and we walked to Janice's cozy home. It was not too far away from the shopping mall, but it was located in a quiet street, where you could notice that the neighborhood enjoy gardening. The houses have the greenest front yards I've ever seen; there were several types of flowers a multiple colored gardens spread through the street. You could also see kids playing in the street, something that you don't usually see in cities.

Janice was very kind to me - without knowing me, she gave a job and she is trying to help me solve my problems. I don't know what kind of problems I have, though. Is Chester a problem? If he is, what kind of problem? Well, the answer to that question is obvious I think. If he wasn't a problem I wouldn't be thinking about him like I am. But the other question remains a mystery: what kind of problem is he?

"So, what's been troubling my dear? What happened between you and that boy?" Janice asked me.

"Chester is... a strange man. Very closed. He doesn't trust anyone that easily. And he has secrets about his past that he doesn't want to share but keeps reacting in strange ways because of them. And every time he asks me to go out with him, or when I'm with him, I never know what's going to happen because one time he is friendly, gentle and acting normal, and other times, with a snap of my fingers, he runs away and stays distant for days. Then he comes back apologizing with stupid excuses! And I never know how to act or what to do, I don't know if I should go out with him, or if I should think about him as I do. I have no clue what I should do to help him..." I sighed, once I let out everything that was troubling me.

Janice seemed like she was thinking about every word I said.

"It seems to me that whatever reasons Chester has to be that way, he never had someone that cared about him. He's not used to having people around, is he?" I nodded, confirming her theory. "If you really want to help him, you'll have to make him trust you. You have to make him feel comfortable with you. Only then he will open up."

"I know. I just don't know how..."

"You probably just need time to figure it out. And patience. But let me give you some other advice, my most sincere advice. If he doesn't respect you, nor trust you, don't let your heart get too attached. Sometimes the people we love most are the one that hurts us the most."

I ate her delicious Cod with cream, delighted with her ability to cook. I even asked her for the recipe, to try it in the next days. I am enjoying cooking more than I ever thought I would. I don't know why my mother never let me go to the kitchen, it's just so liberating and the final result motivates you to keep going and try new recipes.

It was around 9 P.M. when I left Janice's house and walked back to mine. 

After 10 minutes of walking, I arrived at my building. I searched for the front door key, opened it and went upstairs, lost in my own world. I didn't notice that there was someone on the corridor, leaning against the wall until I reached for my door. Chester was waiting for me, with a black hoodie, a hood on his head, looking down at his feet, while his hands rested inside his pockets.

"Hi..." I greeted him with a faint voice, turning around to open my door.

He approached me immediately, taking the hood off of his head, exposing his big brown shiny eyes staring at me as if he was pleading for mercy. I tried to look at him with the most indifferent gaze, which took him by surprise.

"Hey, Ana... I've been waiting for you." He said.

I didn't open my apartment door but leaned against it with my arms crossed.

"Since when?"

"You usually get home around 5, so..."

"What? You've been waiting for me since 5??? Here?" I asked with my eyes furrowed and extremely confused. "Why?"

Chester shrugged but approached me a little more.

"I needed to apologize. I... I didn't mean to scare you away like last night."

"You didn't scare me, Chester. You pissed me off." I spat out. "Why? What do you want from me? Why do you keep showing at my doorstep, apologizing for something that you keep doing?"

"I'm so sorry... I can't tell you... I just can't. And I don't know why I keep coming back... I can't hurt you, but your friendship is the best thing I have right now. I don't have anyone else..." His voice broke a little, and for a moment I thought he was about to cry. It broke my heart. But he can't keep doing this, he needs to stop behaving so strangely around me.

"I understand you don't want to talk about whatever happened to you. What I can't understand is why. Why do you say that it will hurt me? Or is it because you don't trust me?"

"I trust you. I don't know why, because we met just for a couple of weeks, but I do trust you, Ana. I just can't tell you, at least not yet. I am not prepared for that... I am not prepared to lose someone that actually cares about me!"

"For fuck's sake, I won't judge you! I won't run away. Why would I?"

"Because I feel ashamed of everything I did, and I did something really bad. Something that I can't run away from and that keeps running after me. I don't want you to get involved in this shit too. You don't deserve that..."

I groaned in frustration and cupped his cheeks in an aggressive-gentle way to make him look at me and pay attention. He was shocked by my attitude but didn't push me away.

"Chester, listen to me. Very carefully. I don't need you to tell me what you don't want to tell me, but you need to know that I am here for you. No matter what. And I would never judge you or push you away because of your past. You are a kind, gentle and very respectful person. You are an interesting man that I really enjoy being with, you make me laugh and you have very good taste in movies. So, I don't need to know about your past, because I like the man you are right now. Except when you act weird around me. That's shitty." I finally let go of his face and leaned against my door again. "And it makes me feel bad because I don't know if I did something wrong or what I should do to help you."

"I -- uh, I..." He stammered, not knowing what to say. "I'm sorry for making you feel this way. And I truly am sorry for last night. I want to tell you stuff, but I just lack courage..."

"It's ok..." I sighed in despair and turned around to open my door. "Don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

I didn't even give him the chance to answer me. The longer I was looking at him, the tighter my heart was feeling. It is very strange the way he makes me feel, and when I think about his secrets and his past, I can't stop worrying about it and I really want to help him, I want to do something.

He just needs to let me in.


	9. Getting along

I groaned when I woke up to the around 7 A.M. That day I was staying home. Janice had a wedding and she closed the store, so she just gave me the day off. And I was really hoping that I could get a long night of sleep, but my body thought differently.

The light coming from the unclosed window made my eyes feel sore, but the chirping noise from the birds was somehow refreshing. The new season arrives with the promise of wholeness, light, brilliance, renewed scents, songbirds dating in the trees, the wind carrying pollen to fertilize the fields, butterflies flying peacefully above so many flowers to choose which one they should land. And watching as we approach summer, the most lovely time of the year, it makes me see life in a different way:** If we had no winter, spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes experience the taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.**

At least, that's what I think. And that's what gets me out of the bed every day.

But not that day though. That day, the bell got me out of the bed.

"Good morning, Ana." I opened the door for a smiling Chester. He looked almost apologetic with a bag of muffins in one hand and two cups of coffee in the other.

"Good morning?..." I said confused, looking at the clock in the wall. It was 7.30 A.M. in the morning. Thank God that I was already awake because if Chester had rung the bell and woke me up, I would be releasing hell on him.

"Did I wake you up?" Chester said as if he was afraid of the question. I denied with a nod of my head and he smiled, showing me what he had on his hands. "I bought breakfast for us."

"Uh, ok... " I looked at him, stepping out-of-the-way so he could come inside. That's when his eyes landed on my full body, noticing how barely dressed I was. That's when I was aware that I was only wearing very small shorts and a white top with no bra underneath. Chester's face was pale and his cheeks were starting to blush but he tried to hide it, as he turned around and took the muffins out of the bag and placed them on the kitchen island. I felt so embarrassed, you could cut that awkward tension hovering the room with a knife. "I -- I'll get dressed in a minute."

I almost ran out of the kitchen, back to my room.

Chester was taking a bite on the first muffin when I stormed out and his eyes immediately landed on my body, running embarrassed to the bedroom. He wasn't expecting to see me like that. You could think it was stupid for him to be so bothered with something like this, but it's been a while since he saw a woman's body, so seeing me in my pajamas was more arousing than he intended. He tried to shut down the unpleasant thoughts from his mind, as he put the muffins and the coffees on the table and ate his first muffin, but as soon as he saw me running, he was abashed and opened his mouth in shock. The muffin he was about to eat fell from his hand.

"Shit!" He said, jumbled.

"What? Is everything alright in there?" I asked as I picked from behind the bedroom door.

"Yes, yes," Chester answered, immediately picking up the muffin, but biting the tip of his finger, trying to contain his stupid thoughts and the reaction he was having.

Minutes after getting dressed and cursing myself in front of my mirror, I walked out of the bedroom with a smile on my lips.

"Breakfast sounds good," I said, sitting on the other side of the kitchen island, trying to conceal the flustered cheeks. Chester smiled at me with an embarrassed face but didn't talk anything about it. Instead, he handed me the muffins so I could pick one. "You brought all the flavors?"

"Yes... I didn't know what to pick today."

"Wow, you really are sorry for the other night," I joked, but by the way Chester tensed up I realized it was too soon to make any remarks about it. "So... what are you doing today? Do you have classes?"

I tried to change the subject and get rid of the heavy tension unexplainably hovering us that morning.

"Yes," he cleared his throat. "I have to be at university by 10 P.M. My students are rehearsing for a little show. You should come. It's next month. It's the 100th anniversary of the institute, so we are preparing something special."

"I'd love to go." I bit my lower lip, nervous about my next question. I was used to be around Chester by now, but every time I want to invite him for something, I get nervous. I never know what's going to happen. "Chester, do you have any plans for dinner?"

He took a sip of his coffee and answered innocently.

"No, why?"

"Do you want to?"

He looked at me with a gleam in his eyes and nodded, trying to conceal the smile that was fighting to get to his lips.

"Tonight I'll be making dinner, then. 8 P.M. here?"

"Yes, absolutely."

We spent the rest of the time eating and talking. He wanted to know more about my passion for psychology and even tried to convince me that I could work and study at the same time. Chester told me that music really saved his sanity, that maybe pursuing my own ambitions would do good to me and that I should always fight for what I want for my life.

It was a good conversation that really got me thinking.

But anyway, Chester eventually left for classes, and I was left alone with nothing to do. So I started doing laundry and tidying up the house. After lunch, I decided to go for a walk and I always end up in the same place: the book store. The young man's face that works in the store always lights up whenever I walk in. He approaches me, talks to me about books, shows me the new comic books and new books about psychology that comes in. His name is Joseph, and he is 19 years old. Joseph is a nice boy, but I think he is a little too much interested in my presence than he should.

I left the store with a new psychology book in my hand and decided to go the market to decide what to do for dinner. It was quiet that day, everyone was at work, so it was more pleasant to walk around. I usually go there after work, when everyone goes, or at weekends. But since it was a workday, it was quiet and peaceful.

I decided to cook some prawns with curry and pasta. Back home, the cooker that has been with my family for years usually did that recipe whenever she knew I was feeling down. It is one of my favorite recipes. It has prawns and shrimps, some lobster, canned peach and pineapple, with sour cream, herbs, and curry q.b. The ingredients are all sautéed in a wok, and finally, everything is mixed with the pasta. It is incredibly delicious. When I feel confident enough, I add something spicy.

When I got home, I placed the groceries in their right places and decided to read my new book. This one is about general psychophysiology and all the subareas. This area of psychology studies the physiological basis of motor functions especially with regard to reflexes, posture, balance, motor coordination and the mechanism of movement execution. And as I read the book, I was taken back to the conversation with Chester that morning and wondered what area would I follow if I ever pursued a career as a psychologist. Since I was a little girl, I was interested in knowing how the human brain works, what makes us think, what kind of mental diseases exist, how you diagnose them if they are "invisible" at the naked eye, or how you cure them. Most importantly, how can you be 100% sure that they are gone? It's really wonderful. I know it is bad to think about it that way, but the human brain is fascinating, mysterious and scary at the same time.

After hours of reading, I decided to take a shower and get dinner started. It's a quick and easy recipe, so I was relaxed. But whenever my eyes fell on the clock on the wall, I couldn't but be anxious. And when the bell rang, my heart started racing.

I opened the door quickly, not giving my head enough time to feel more nervous for no fucking reason.

"Hi!" Chester said with a huge smile on his face. He handed me a box with a cake inside. I greeted him, and let him in before putting the cake in the fridge.

"You didn't need to bring anything," I said, picking inside the box to see a wafer cake.

"I wanted to. Besides, I made it." He said, brushing the hair in the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"Wow, really?" Chester nodded and walked to the stove to see what I was cooking. I heard a hmmm sound when he smelled curry. "I can't wait to taste it then."

"It's no big deal, really... It's just some crackers soaked in coffee, piled up with sweet whipped cream. On top, I put some crushed crackers and it went to the cooler for an hour. It's easy and quick."

"Easy and quick it's just what I need in the kitchen sometimes. I didn't know you cook."

Chester stirred the food in the wok and tasted it with a spoon. He moaned silently and for some reason, I felt a knot in my stomach. That gentle and innocent sound he made caused me to feel odd things in my body; it was too delightful to hear.

Not long after we were eating our delicious dinner and he was telling about some of the things they were planning on playing on the 100th anniversary of the university.

"You're playing too?" I asked.

"No," he smiled shyly. "I am not much of an audience person. I prefer to teach and be proud of my students."

"I bet you would be a success if you walk on stage."

"How do you know?" He asked in a mocking tone.

"I don't know. You look an artist. You're always so mysterious, you are passionate about music, you know how to play instruments... I don't know, I think I need to hear you playing something to write down my conclusions."

"Well, I think we can solve that." He said, looking at my guitar inside the bag in the corner of the living room.

We ate his cake - which was delicious by the way - and he immediately stole my guitar and started playing some chords randomly to check if it was tuned. When he was satisfied, he started playing a song that I could remember but didn't quite know what it was. I was so amazed by his ability with music that I didn't even recognize he was playing _Starway do Heaven_ by Led Zepplin.

"Wow, you are amazing!" I said, sitting on the floor in front of him.

He sat on my couch comfortably when he picked up the guitar, playing with his eyes closed. When he heard me talking, he wasn't expecting to see me sitting in front of him with my dark eyes glued to him with a shine behind them. He thought once again about the resemblance between me and Snow White and smiled, feeling his cheeks burning with the thought. He considered the possibility of telling me what was going on his mind, but the fear of being misunderstood or making me feeling eerie was too big to speak anything.

"What?" I asked as I watched his expression.

"Nothing," he seemed snapped from a different reality. "I have another one for you."

His long fingers started moving and _Californication _by Red Hot Chili Peppers was being played. I smiled, let my back fall to the fluffy silver carpet of the living room and closed my eyes to the sound of the music.

For a moment, Chester dared to open his eyes and almost froze. His sight was just paradisiacal - I looked a princess indeed. I had the most heartwarming smile on my lips, my eyes were closed and relaxed, my hair was shiny, covering my shoulder and my breasts, my fingers were intertwined above my belly, and my skin was glowing. My lips were so red and plumped that he wondered what they felt like.

Then he slapped himself mentally and closed his eyes, in order to stop those thoughts. But he wasn't able to stop them. He had that same sight inside his mind and something inside him told him he wasn't getting rid of it anytime soon.

"What about you? What can you play for me?" Chester asked when I was back to a sitting position again. He handed me my guitar and I thought about a song. Then I started playing _Wonderwall _by Oasis.

Somehow the choice of the song made him tense up and widen his eyes. Then he relaxed, leaned back and closed his eyes.

Suddenly, he heard me muttering the first lyrics of the song. It was barely audible, I am shy and afraid of being heard. But he heard it very well.

_Today is gonna be the day_   
_That they're gonna throw it back to you_   
_By now you should've somehow_   
_Realized what you gotta do_   
_I don't believe that anybody_   
_Feels the way I do, about you now_

His heart started beating fast. His mind was telling him to do something that he didn't want to. Something he hasn't done for a long time - his lips started moving: slowly, silently, and gradually increasing the volume.

_Backbeat, the word was on the street_   
_That the fire in your heart is out_   
_I'm sure you've heard it all before_   
_But you never really had a doubt_   
_I don't believe that anybody_   
_Feels the way I do about you now_

I opened my eyes when I heard him and smiled. His eyes were closed, but he was singing with me, his voice becoming louder, giving me the confidence to do the same.

_And all the roads we have to walk are winding_   
_And all the lights that lead us there are blinding_   
_There are many things that I_   
_Would like to say to you but I don't know how_

He opened his eyes and saw me smiling, not being able to contain his own smile.

We stared at each other while I continued playing the song.

_Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me_   
_And after all, you're my Wonderwall_

_Today was gonna be the day_   
_But they'll never throw it back to you_   
_By now you should've somehow_   
_Realized what you're not to do_   
_I don't believe that anybody_   
_Feels the way I do, about you now_

_And all the roads that lead you there are winding_   
_And all the lights that light the way are blinding_   
_There are many things that I_   
_Would like to say to you but I don't know how_

When I imagined how Chester's voice would sound, I knew it would be beautiful. But this was just out of this world! He sounded like an angel, always on time, voice beautifully trained to hit the right notes, and there was this vein on his neck the popped out as he sang louder and stronger. It was such a heavenly sound for me, that made me shut up and listen to him. You know that a voice his good when you get goosebumps on your skin.

_I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me_  
And after all, you're my Wonderwall_ said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me_  
And after all, you're my Wonderwall_ said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me_  
_you're gonna be the one that saves me_  
_you're gonna be the one that saves me_

Chester stared at me with a strange look in his eyes as I finished the last chords of the song. He didn't say anything but kept staring at me. He seemed like he was out of breath and I swear I could hear his heart beating inside his chest as silence fell upon us.

"Can I say this one more time tonight? Wow..." That was all I said to break the silence. "You are unreal. You totally should do this more times."

"I should... Shouldn't I?" He whispered, looking down with a mix of a sad and happy face at the same time.

"What is it?" I put my hand on his knees, forcing him to look at me.

"I... I haven't done this in a long time. Singing like this, I mean. It's liberating... Thank you..."

"I did nothing. You sang all by yourself, and I must say that I still have those goosebumps on my skin. Damn... you're perfect." I shook my head, immediately flustered with my unexpected words and tried to explain what I meant. "Uh -- I -- I mean, your voice is perfect. And you're talented. Like, really talented."

"Thank you," he smiled, stroking the back of his neck again as he always does when he gets uncomfortable or shy. "Well, now I think it's your time to teach me some jiu-jitsu, you said you would." He said with his pleading eyes and his hands in a praying gesture.

"Okay, okay. You can invite me over to your house to have dinner and I will teach you."

The moment I spoke about his apartment, he became serious, tense and diverted his eyes to the floor in silence.

"It's okay... Uh -- I'll make dinner one of these days and I'll teach you." I said, part of me sad for his reaction and the other part confused about it.

He just nodded and I was expecting him to get up and leave without one more word - since he is that awkward - but he got up and smiled.

"What about tomorrow? I bring pizza, you won't need to cook. And you can teach me."

I grinned at him and nodded as I guided him to the front door.

"It sounds perfect. Same time as today?"

"Yes," he said before taking my hand in his, bringing it to his lips and kissing it after saying "M'lady."

Then, he disappeared back to his apartment, leaving me speechless and red like a pepper in the corridor


	10. Teaching can get you into strange positions

When I was arriving at the flower store, my phone rang inside my pocket. For a moment, I smiled thinking it could be Chester, I rarely get any phone calls or messages if not from him. But when I saw Rachel's ID on the screen, I took a deep breath and picked up the phone at last.

"Hi," I said.

"Hiiiiii," I heard Rachel and Monica screaming on the other side of the line. 

"Rachel? Monica?" 

"We missed you and we decided to call you. It's been almost two months since we last saw you, and we really really miss you." Monica said. "Things were hard at first, but then our mother started to get softer and she's actually really cool now."

"Really?" I asked, skeptical.

"Yes! And she's even more open to new stuff, we are slowly getting free." Rachel said with a happy voice. "You changed stuff around here, Ana. And you were right, there is more out there than this bubble."

"I am so happy to hear that," a tear stroll down my cheek. "Live your lives, don't let anyone live them for you. I want to visit you, but I still need to talk to our parents. I think it's time to make up."

"Finally!" They yelled in unison.

"Until then, you can always come here and visit me. But you can't tell anyone where I am, ok?"

"We promise," Rachel said immediately.

"Alright, I'll send you a message with the address and you'll come here. It's not very far away, but you can always spend the night here."

I heard them whispering something to each other, but I couldn't quite understand what it was. It seems that Monica wanted to ask something and Rachel was telling her to shut up and that she should stick her nose in her own business, but Monica asked it anyway.

"And have you met anyone already? Like, a guy?"

I was taken aback with her question, but I laughed anyway.

"No, not a guy in whatever way you're thinking. But I did make a friend, though. I think..."

They both started giggling like two little girls in highschool talking about boys in the bathroom. I rolled my eyes at the sound.

"It's nothing like that. When I came here I didn't know anyone, he was the first person I've met that was actually tolerable. And right now I regret telling you this."

"It's ok, we won't tell anyone," Rachel said. "I promise."

"What's the name of our future brother-in-law?" Monica asked, earning a punch in the arm from Rachel. "What? This is Ana! She always runs away from boys. Having a male friend is a huge improvement!"

"No, I don't run away from boys," I answered immediately, slightly offended. "You're crazy, and his name is Chester. But now I need you --kids -- to let me go, I have to work."

"Oh, when can we see you?"

"I don't know. I'll text you later."

I hung up the call and got to work. Janice was opening the store and greeted me with a huge smile on her lips.

"Good morning, Ana. You look good today, did something happen?"

"Good morning, Janice. Nothing significant, I just talked to my sisters, I really miss them."

"Nah, it's not just that, is it? It's that boy -- what is his name? -- Chester! That's it! Chester. That smile is because of him, isn't it?" She asked me in a nonchalant tone as she was starting her work. She didn't want to make a big deal out of this because she knows I would never answer her the truth. So she pretended she was more focused on the flowers she was watering.

I sighed, knowing that there was no point in denying what was evident and just told her that we were getting along. It's strange to talk about him with Janice, but last time she really gave me some good advice. And for some reason, as the workday was coming to an end, all I could think about was dinner that night. I couldn't imagine myself teaching Chester the basic moves of Jiu-jitsu and how would that end. 

Janice was a sweetheart and sent me home sooner than I was supposed to, so I took another walk in the park, something that I've been doing quite a lot lately. It's a good place to sit and think.

Chester and Janice are the only two people that I know in Phoenix. Nicole lives in the next town, so she only comes here from time to time. Sometimes I think I need more friends, but I don't know how to make them. With Nicole it was easier, we didn't need too much to have fun. When she lived in the same town as I did, we would hang out with a group of friends, but now that we're grown, everyone split up and each own moved on with our lives. Only Nicole and I were left and we don't need anyone else.

When I got home, I decided to lie down on my bed and take a nap. Before doing so, I set an alarm to give me enough time before dinner. But for some reason, I overslept and when I opened my eyes, it was already time for Chester to show up.

I jumped out of bed, looked myself in the mirror and cleaned the smudged makeup. I brushed my hair, put on some perfume, and walked to the living room, to wait for him on the couch.

Not long after, my bell rang and I rushed to the door.

"I hope you like pepperoni," Chester said as soon as I opened the door, his big brown eyes twinkling. I couldn't help but smile.

"I love pepperoni."

We ate and we talked about my family. Chester noticed that I was a little happy and asked me what was the reason of my lightened face. I told him about my sisters and that they would visit me soon and that, probably, I would go home to talk to my parents. So, after that, our conversation was all about my childhood and everything that involved my years before meeting him. Of course, when I asked about his family, he pushed the matter away and changed the subject.

"So, jiu-jitsu. You promised to teach me something tonight." He said, anxious about the change of subject and hoping that I didn't insist. I understood what he was trying to do, so I played along and actually got up. 

He watched me as I pushed my couch back, to get us some space in the living room. The carpet was fluffy enough to knock him down. I was so eager to do that.

"First, let's begin with the rules. Listen to me very carefully. The fights are supervised by a referee. The duration of each fight depends on a number of factors, the main ones being the age range the fighters are in and the range they use. Throughout the fight, the participant may gain or lose points according to what they perform. Punishments can result in the loss of 1, 2, 3 or 4 points, depending on their severity. The advantages are equally variable. As for the movements, the participant can gain 2 points per fall, scrape and knee in the belly; 3 points per guard pass and 4 points per mount and back catch. The winner of the fight is the one who, at the end of the match, gets the highest final sum." Chester tried to follow me, but I know he lost himself in the middle of my rambling. "But this is just the rules of the official fights. I'll teach you some movements."

Chester approached me and I continued talking, using his body and mine as a way to show him the moves.

"The first move is called _Projection or fall:_ It is any imbalance caused to the opponent that brings him to the ground. That's the idea of this fight. Knockdown your opponent."

"Yes, I've seen it on TV." He said with a smile on his face. _Oh, I'm so gonna take that smile away._

"The basic Guard movements when the fighter is on top of the opponent, standing between his legs, and passes to the opponent's side, staying in a transverse position and keeping him dominated," I asked him to lie down on the carpet and showed him the position. It was awkward, but Chester was really concentrated and I thought for a moment that I was the master, teaching the student.

"Now, this is the Knee in the Belly move." I put my knee over Chester's belly, almost on his chest, and extended the other leg for balance. "Basically it keeps your opponent still under you while you wait for their submission. The crucial aspects of this position are timing and weight distribution." I pointed to where my knee was and my other leg.

Chester nodded, his face completely focus, apparently ignoring the strange positions we were in.

"There's a lot of movements to keep your opponent stuck under you so you can make him surrender or beat the crap out of him - which is not the aim of this type of martial art, you only use it to knock someone down, stop them from fighting you, but never use these moves as a weapon, or a way to cause a fight. Only to defend yourself." 

Chester nodded again and I let go of him and lie down on the carpet this time. 

"Now, repeat what I taught you."

He did the guard movement first and very well done for the first time I might say. I had to correct some of his movements, but he got the hang of it. Then he repeated the rest of the movements I showed him.

"This is it?" He asked.

"Well, there's also this position called... mounting." Chester laughed, obviously. "Yeah, yeah, everyone makes a joke about it. But it's too awkward, I wouldn't teach you that." I felt myself blushing for a while, but, hey, I was just teaching him, it's not like this is some romantic-sexual encounter.

"Come on, how bad could it be?"

"You heard the name," I laughed, "but ok, it's basically a grappling position, where one opponent sits on the other opponent's torso with the face pointing towards the opponent's head. Your knees should be on each side of my waist, and your body should be sitting on my belly."

Chester took me by surprise as he did that just fine, ignoring by my embarrassment. I stared at him, eyes widened. 

"What now?" He asked with a serious expression.

"Now you can approach me and block my arms, or you can punch me in the face until I'm dead." He stared at me confused. Jeez, I'm just trying to lighten that tension. I wondered if he was feeling it too.

"This means you are at my mercy." He joked.

"Yeah, but..." I looked at him with a mischievous smile on my lips and as soon as his grin slowly vanished, I switched positions. Before he could even blink, I escaped through his right side, my legs were crossed with his, and I rolled him around, making him fall in the carpet. That way, I was on top, my knees on each side of his waist, as I used another technique to pin him down, without having any way to escape. He gasped in surprise, eyes widened, but an amused expression on his face. But when I stopped laughing at his face and looked him in the eyes it was as if time itself stopped, and the world around us disappeared.

His expression was soft, carefree, and his eyes expressed so much happiness that you could see the brown in them, not only the darkness they usually mirror. 

I analyzed his whole face quickly, from his eyes to his red cheeks until I reach for his lips. They were slightly parted, I guessed it was because of the surprise move. And his eyes mimicked mine, landing on my lips.

Suddenly, I stood up and asked him to hold my hand. "Now, there's the takedowns, in which I try to take you to the ground and use the movements I showed you previously."

I cleared my throat, before showing some basic movements. Everything was done in slow motion, I asked Chester to have his body relaxed so I could do it without hurting him or myself. 

"A few tips: in any position, always try to keep your elbow closed so that you have more strength in the arm; always push the opponent with the arm outstretched in order to make less force. And lastly, before showing you for real, there's something basic that everyone seems to forget: who is in the opponent's guard, seeks to control the opponent's legs. Who has the opponent in the guard, seeks to control the arms of the opponent."

"That's it?" Chester asked me.

"No, there's a lot more. But this is all I can teach you without hurting you."

He laughed.

"You? A tiny girl like you think you can hurt me?"

I rolled my eyes at him, and before he knew it, I was behind him, hands on his hips, as my body swings around him, used my legs to do a scissor on his legs and he was on the floor with a loud thud. 

"You were saying?" I said with a devilish look on my face. My body was on top of his, doing the knee in the belly movement, but this time I was leaned in, my chest pressuring his own to the ground as I worked to immobilize him. 

He was laughing so much that I swear I never enjoyed a laugh so much as his. He opened his eyes and looked at me, focused on my eyes as his laugh slowly quieted down. I kept my warm smile on my lips as I tried to control my breathing. At this point, I don't know if I'm panting from the exercise or the proximity we were experiencing at that moment. Either way, Chester was panting too, and his eyes were getting darker; his cheeks were getting red; and he licked his lips slowly, bitting just a little bit it unconsciously.

"Thank you, Ana." He whispered.

"Why? For knocking you down?" I muffled a laugh in my throat and he did the same, slowly fading his smile away, as a serious but happy expression appeared on his face.

"I haven't had this much fun in years." He admitted. "I don't laugh this much in a long time. I -- I don't think I ever laughed this much with anyone in my entire life."

"That must not be true. You're a nice and funny guy, I'm sure you had friends that made you laugh like this." I said, feeling my heart racing and awkward for talking to him still in the same position. I let go of him slowly and sat on the carpet. Chester, on the other hand, looked at the ceiling but stood there, laying on the carpet.

"No. I never had anyone like you."

"Why?" I whispered, knowing that he wouldn't answer me, or he would get up immediately and run. But this time he didn't do any of that.

"Because I push people away. Because I don't want anyone to get involved in my shitty life. I don't know... it's... I can't have people around me, otherwise, I will hurt them."

"You can't hurt me."

He muffled a laugh and shook his head.

"I can -- believe me. You are a good girl, Ana. The best person I've ever met. And usually, I would push you away, but I -- it's -- well, here I am." He turned his head to me and looked me in the eyes, smiling very weakly, but that smile didn't reach his eyes.

"There's something you need to know about me, Chester." He narrowed his eyes and nodded his head, gesturing me to go on. So I just smiled at him. "I am stubborn and determined. There's nothing you can say that will push me away, I don't know how many times I have to say that. And I won't let you do that. Whatever it takes. And this is the end of the conversation."

"But --" Chester tried to speak but I interrupted him.

"Did I made myself clear or should I kick your ass again?"


	11. Jealousy

Saturday morning. 

I woke up at 11 P. M. I had things to do before lunch. I had to clean the house, make lunch, and buy some groceries. Peter Grantt decided he was going to visit me. He said he wanted to see me and make sure I was settled in, with everything I needed, even though I told him I was just fine. So, besides that, I had nothing better to do that day besides cleaning.

When he knocked on the door, I couldn't help but smile. The fucker bought me a toilet paper roll - _just a gift for my new house._

"This was your grandmother's?" Peter asked, exploring my living room

"Yes, she handed me the key when I wanted to move out."

"It's very cool. It's cozy, and I love the turntable, is it hers?"

"No, that was my grandfather's turntable. I think it is the thing he loved the most in his whole life, after my grandmother of course."

Peter laughed and looked at me from the other side of the living room.

"Can I take you out for dinner?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but the bell rang. At that moment, my heart skipped a beat. Chester is the only person that knocks on my door, so if he sees Peter it's going to be so awkward that I might want to run away from my own apartment. Well, he doesn't have anything to do with whoever visits me, though. I don't even know why I was so worried about it.

As I opened my door, Nicole burst in with her usual energy.

"Whassup??? We're going out tonight!"

"Do I have a saying in this?" I asked, crossing my arms at her.

"No, and I want you to dress as slu-- heeeello" She suddenly sees Peter on the corner of the living room, watching her as she made her way throughout my house. "I didn't know you had company."

"It's alright, I'm Peter." He said, approaching her and kissing her knuckles in the most gentle way, at the same time he had a mockingly gleam in his eyes.

Nicole blushed. I mean, she blushed like I've never seen before. And I wanted to laugh so hard. But, obviously, as a good friend I am, I saved her. 

"Nicole, tonight I can't."

"Oh, come on! I drove half an hour just to come here... At least, let's find a bar and drink a couple of shots."

"Nikki --"

Peter interrupted me with an apologetic look.

"We can all go out, the three of us. It's my first time in Phoenix, I don't know anything around here, and I am really hungry. Would you like to have dinner with us, Nicole?"

She blushed again._ Oh-oh._

"I don't want to bother y-you t --"

"That's settled then, you're coming," he said.

That moment, I felt someone behind me. The door was still opened since I was shocked too by Nicole's invasion to even remember that I should have closed it. Well, I shouldn't be shocked, she's just being Nicole. And when I turned around, I swallowed hard. It was Chester, and he had the most confused expression on his face.

"Chester..." I said, "Hi."

"Hey... I came here to invite you to a party tonight, but I see you have company. So..." He seemed disappointed, or sad, I don't know. Chester turned around to leave, but Nicole had to talk. She just can't stay quiet.

"Hey, you, Chester!" He turned around and furrowed his brows. "We're all getting dinner, and we were planning on going to a bar or something. If you want to, you can join us."

He looked at me, waiting for some kind of signal that I was fine with her invitation and his intrusion, but since I smiled at him with my eyes shining in expectation, he accepted. I rushed them all out of the apartment, just in case someone else showed up.

There was this small restaurant, near the blocks where Janice leaves, that serves delicious food at a good price. We started walking in silence. I could tell that Chester was not very comfortable with that encounter, but he was the one who decided to go out with us.

"So, Ana still haven't burnt the house down?" He turned to Nicole and she laughed.

"Hey, I heard that. And no. I know how to take care of a house, thank you very much. And I learned how to cook, alright? Very well, for your information."

"Really? I might invite myself for dinner one of these days."

"Anytime you want," I said, looking at Chester by the corner of my eyes. He had a serious expression, his arms were crossed over his chest and his body was tense. He didn't say a word the whole dinner. He just listened.

***

"So, Nicole, what do you do in life?" Peter asked when we were in the middle of the dessert.

"Well, I'm a Bussines Consultant-- I'm kinda in between jobs. It's been hard," she said looking at her plate.

"And she's really good at her job, trust me, I've seen it," I said.

"Really? Well, I might have a job for you if you'd like." He said, turning to her., her eyes lightening up. "I offered it to Ana after I met her, but she refused it. And I can't seem to find anyone good for it."

"That's because you're a shitty boss," I replied. 

"You'd love to have me as your boss," he winked at me. _Flirty asshole._ "But, really, Nicole, send me your CV, I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you so much!"

"No need to thank me. If you're that good as Ana says you are, I'm the one who will be grateful. Besides, it's good money. You might be interested in it."

Nicole and Peter started talking about the job proposition, quickly losing themselves in their own world, and I was finally able to turn my attention to Chester who was too silent.

"Hey, are you ok?"

"Hm-hm." He replied.

"Where's the party you were taking me?" 

"Oh, it's downtown, it's just a place where I used to go."

"We can all go there if you want. I'd love to go to the party with you. I'm really sorry for how the night ended up."

"It's alright..." 

That's all I was able to talk to Chester while we were at the restaurant. When I told Peter and Nicole that we were going to Chester's party, they were very happy to know that it was located in a bar with good music, couches, and lots of drinks.

We choose the table in the corner of the bar. The round couch was very comfortable and I sat between Chester and Peter, and Nicole sat by Peter's side, still talking about work. Only them asked for alcohol, while Chester and I opted to drink Coca-Cola Zero.

"So, why did you want to bring me to this party?" I asked Chester, who was lost in his own thoughts.

"At midnight they usually play rock songs from the 80s and the 90s, so I thought you'd like."

"Really? How come I never heard of this bar?"

"You need to go out with me more often," he smiled behind the glass of Coca-Cola he was drinking. That was the first time I saw you that night, but it faded away immediately when someone else caught my attention.

Peter, touched my shoulder with a smirk on his face. He made me look at him and he leaned in, approaching his mouth to my ear to whisper.

"You like him, don't you?"

"Uh?" I wasn't understanding his question.

"I've been watching you two. You like him, and he seems to have a soft spot for you because he is dying inside just by watching me whispering in your ear." I watched Chester by the corner of my eyes and, well, Peter wasn't totally wrong - Chester was trying to mask his fury behind a neutral face. But the redness in his skin and the way he was clenching his grip on his cup of water betrayed his attempt f pretending.

"Are you drunk, Peter?" I asked, "because you're not making sense."

"Really? What if I put my arm over your shoulder?" And that was what he did. Peter just placed his arm around my shoulder to pull me closer. Nicole was biting her lip in an attempt to stay serious, but her face was so red because she was about to explode in laughter. "Besides, Nicole told me you were interested in him."

I gasped and looked at him, slightly offended by his statement and her boldness. I'm so gonna kill her when I get the chance. I introduce my best friend to a strange man and she partnered up with him instantly. _She's so dead_... I took Peter's arm away from me as he and Nicole laughed at my wrath. Rolling my eyes at their behavior, I turned to Chester and asked him to dance with me. Chester sensed that I wanted to get out of there and nodded, holding his hand to help me out of the couch.

"Are you alright, Chester?" I was dying inside after what Peter told me, so I had to ask.

"Yeah, yeah..." He lied in my face, clearly uncomfortable because we were dancing a slow romantic song. I had my hands connected with his, dancing casually, but not daring to step closer. 

"You're lying. What is it?" I insisted and he groaned, sighing in frustration.

"It's nothing, alright?"

I stopped moving my feet and stared at him, narrowing my eyes before rolling them.

"Ok, I think I'm gonna go, then."

As soon as I turned around to go back to our table, I felt his tattoed arm landing on my waist and drawing me back to him. This time, he crushed my body against his and started dancing more intimately, with an unexplainable glow in his eyes. He closed them, though, because he was afraid that I might understand what was really behind them. So he just leaned his forehead against mine and sighed. But he couldn't hide from me. He was shaking, I felt it on his hands resting on my waist, pushing me enough to make sure I wasn't running away from him; I felt it on his tense body pressed against mine; I felt it on his irregular breathing that he was trying so hard to control.

"Chester... Are you ok?"

He nodded yes, but he said something different.

"No..."

"You're anxious about something, aren't you? You can talk to me, Chester." He didn't answer. Instead, he continued with his eyes closed, feeling every inch of my body that was connected with his. It was like I suddenly realized how we were glued to each other -- like we were two magnets. I could feel all of him and it was getting harder to be there. His body temperature was so hot and I was starting to feel uneasy. "I think we both need a drink."

I tried to get rid of his grip, but he didn't let me go, pushing me once again against his forehead. Instead of closing his eyes, he had the courage to be that close to me with them open.

"No... I don't drink. It makes me do and say stupid things. And you shouldn't drink either. It's... it's bad for your health, and I need you sober tonight." 

I tensed up with his words. _Why does he always have to speak in such mysterious manners?_

"And... why is that?" I asked, my throat too dry due to his closeness that my voice came out as a whisper only Chester was able to hear. I could feel his fresh breath on my face and I could hear him swallowing hard as he tried to speak.

"I -- I can't... I can't tell you, Ana. I'm sorry... But I need you sober by my side..." His eyes left mine and scanned the room as if he was trying to find a way to escape. Then they fell on something behind me and a smile appeared on his face. "We have enough drunk people already. Look."

I turned around and stilled immediately. All my facial expressions and the feelings towards Chester faded away as I watched Nicole glued to Peter, his arm resting on her shoulders. He was talking in her ear, and she was smiling. _And I know that smile. Fuck! _

Nicole had just terminated a long-term relationship, and she suffered enough already. She's drunk and probably will regret this in the morning. If she was sober, I wouldn't dare to get them away from each other, but I have to protect her. I don't know Peter that well to know if he intends to use her, hurt her, or if this will evolve to something serious. But at that moment, I needed to get them away from each other.

Chester watched me as I marched furiously at them. He was confused with my behavior. He even thought that I was such a poisonous person for playing with his feelings - because my attitude unquestionably revealed that I had feelings for Peter while I made him feel things whenever he was around me. And it pissed him off. For the first time in his life, Chester was allowing someone to get close to him - he was trying to let me in and look what it turned out to be: _a fucking love triangle._

"Nikki, it's time to go home," I said. She looked at me and winked, ignoring my presence. Peter, on the other hand, stared at me with a lifted brow. "Nicole. Home. Now."

She looked at me, anger on her face. But Peter whispered something in her ear and she eased up and even bestowed me a smile. She grabbed her jacket and her bag and followed me. Behind us were a grinning Peter and a very lost Chester. 

I called a cab that immediately stopped in front of us. I gave the driver her address like I do many times when we go out. She's drunk, but not enough not to know how to go back home. Besides, her neighborhood is the safest around Phoenix, so she'll be fine.

"I'll take her home," Peter said, interrupting my thoughts as I was helping Nikki to get inside the cab.

I looked at him and narrowed my eyes. He just sighed.

"I won't do anything alright? I promise. I'm not comfortable with letting her go alone. I'll make sure she texts you once she's home, ok? Go with Chester, I think you and him have a lot to figure out, Ana." I tried to speak, but he didn't let me. Instead, he looked at Chester, who was distant from us, leaning against a tree, lost in his own world with a disturbed look in his eyes. "Look, I won't hurt her, I promise."

"I'd kill you if you even think about it."

He chuckled at me and pressed his lips against the top of my head. This gesture made Chester wake up from his trance and move away from the tree, staring at us with his body a little too stiff.

"I am not kidding, Peter. She suffered enough already."

"I am not kidding also. I won't hurt her, I promise you, Ana. Go home."

I pondered for a while, but something told me to let them go. Peter never gave me any reason to doubt his honesty, and he seemed like a good guy. I nodded him to go and took a deep breath, praying that I didn't make the worst mistake of my life, for Nikki's sake and my own. But when I turned around, I saw a look I never saw on those beautiful dark eyes. Chester was angry, nervous, and many other things that I couldn't distinguish.

Slowly, I approached him and nodded him to follow me so that we could go home.

After five minutes of walking in total silence, I had enough.

"You're acting so strange, Chester. Is it me? Did I do or said something that upset you?"

I looked at him, but he didn't even return the look.

"No. I just want to go home."

"Oh, come on! Don't lie to me." I stopped and stood in front of him, obstructing his path. The distance from the bar to our building is short, so we arrived at the front door soon after. But I didn't let him enter. I faced him and forced him to look at me, giving him no other choice but speak.

"What is your relationship with Peter?" He said with a harsh tone in his voice.

"Ah? -- Peter?" I wasn't expecting that question. 

"Yes, Peter," Chester said it so sternly that I felt a shiver down my spine.

"I don't know. I don't know him for too long, I still don't know if he is a friend or not. Why? Did you not like him?" Chester looked away, biting his lower lip, and muffling a sarcastic laugh as if he needed to laugh instead of having a rage attack. "Chester. Didn't you like him?"

"No! No, I didn't like him. Not one bit." He screamed all of a sudden, making me jump back. "But you, on the other hand, seem to like him too much."

I furrowed my brows at him and took a step back as he started to walk in my direction.

"What are you talking about?"

He didn't even answer. Instead, he walked around me, entered the building and disappeared back to his apartment. 

I just stood there, totally lost, without even blinking. 

_What the hell just happened?_


	12. Hard Confessions

Obviously, as I stood there on the street, the turmoil of rage that I was feeling increased until it could no longer be contained and it just exploded. I turned around and raced through the stairs, climbing three in every step, reaching his apartment door totally out of breath. I was sick of Chester's maddening behavior, apologies and fucking excuses that always end up with him closing his door in my face.

I knocked on the door violently with my knuckles until it hurt and until he was tired of listening to that annoying banging sound.

Once he opened the door, I took a step forward, trying to enter his apartment.

"No," Chester said as he gently forced me out, walking with me to my apartment. 

I took my keys out, hands shaking with no control and opened my door, pushing my arm away from his grip.

"You're fucking crazy," I muffled a maddening chuckle, pushing my hair back with my hands. I stood in my living room, staring at him with a heart beating at the speed of light, my brain was hurting from all the emotions I was feeling, and there was a big lump in my throat that made me want to throw up.

Chester closed the door behind him, his back leaning against it with his eyes glued to the floor as if he was ashamed or had no courage to face me.

"I tried to understand you, Chester. I thought you could become a good friend, that I could rely on and that you could rely on me whenever you need me. I tried to show you that you can trust me completely. But you always keep doing these things! I'm tired of it! I --" I was yelling and I could see that Chester was flinching and almost cowering as I pronounced every word - it was an awful thing to do. And I continued talking without a normal voice, less rage in it. "I don't even understand why you acted like this tonight. Was it something I said or did? I want to know so that I won't do it again in the future. I don't want to hurt you like this, Chester."

For the first time, he lifted his head and looked at me. And that's when my walls crashed down - his beautiful brown teary eyes were mirroring his soul: filled with pain, sadness, rage, sorrow... and darkness.

"Why... why d-- do you accept going out with me if you like Peter? Your mother would be proud, he's a rich boy, and you can go back to your old big house." It was hard for him to start speaking, but as confusing as his words were, at least he spoke something.

"Chester, I don't like Peter."

"Bullshit!" He yelled, but then he saw the way I took a step back, he calmed down, almost whispering. "Bullshit... I saw the way you acted. You were jealous of Peter and Nicole. And -- and besides, he's here for you. He came to see you. And you didn't send him away, so that must means something."

"Yes! It means something. It means that he is someone that cares about me, that sees me as a friend, someone that encouraged me to leave that big old house in the first place! And no, I don't like him that way, nor was jealous of them. But Nicole was hurt not long ago, really hurt, by a man as polite and as charming as Peter, and I don't want to see her in deep shit again! And she was drunk. She would have regretted this if anything happened..." I saw his face relaxing as he realized the truth behind my words. I sighed in defeat. "What's all this??? I don't understand why are you reacting this way, Chester. Not at all."

Chester stood quiet, clearly battling and cursing himself for being too hasty. He wasn't able to say anything. He just sighed and let his arms down in defeat, diverting his eyes back to the floor.

"And what if I liked Peter? Huh? I don't have to give you justifications about what I do or what I don't do. You don't tell me anything about your own life. You don't tell me a single thing about your past; You don't even let me inside your own fucking apartment."

I walked around in my living room, trying to conceal my anger, otherwise, I would start yelling again.

"You get mad at me for everything and for nothing, and then you run away from me, without saying a word, making me feel like I did something horrible to you. Then you come back with your fucking excuses and expect me to forgive you, and then, we repeat this in a loop! I am not a toy! I am done with people playing me like a pawn!"

Chester seemed like he was snapped out of his trance and his eyes were back to me. He started walking towards me, nodding his head.

"No... No. I'm not playing with you... You're no toy. I just... Fuck!" He put both of his hands on the top of his head as words didn't want to go out. "I am trying to change, I swear! I try to find ways to let you in, to open up. But I lived all my life like this, it's so hard to change... Fuck..."

"Why can't you trust me?" I asked, almost as if I was pleading.

His expression melted and he just walked over me, his arms pulling my waist and embracing me in a tight hug. He didn't say a word until his face was buried in the crook of my neck.

"I trust you... I do trust you. But I am so afraid... afraid that you might disappear." Chester whispered.

"Chester..." I finally let my arms connect behind his back and tightened the hug. "I would never judge you. I promise you..."

"You don't know what you're talking about..."

I didn't know what to reply, but that rage was back again and I pulled away from the hug, turning my back to him. Chester stood there speechless and I walked to the window to watch the stars in the sky.

"Of course I don't know what I'm talking about... You don't tell me anything! I don't even know if you have brothers, sisters, parents, grandparents, or even a fucking dog. I know nothing about you, Chester. However, you know a lot about me. Too much even."

I didn't even look at him when he approached me from behind and stood there, close, but not touching. I felt his breath behind my neck and I couldn't help but shiver as his hoarse voice reached my ears.

"I have three half-siblings - Brian, Rene, and Tobi. I had two dogs when I lived with my family. I don't live with my family since I was 16. My mother's name is Susan Johnson, and my dad's name is Lee Bennington. He is a policeman. When I was 11, they divorced and I got to live with my father. He was never close to me and I had a rough childhood, but I handled it. One day I met Mike and a few more guys and we were best friends for years. But then everything changed... Something happened and... and before I knew it, I was alone in the world... I was so lost... drowning in my own shit -- You don't know what it was like back then... I turned to alcohol and drugs, and I didn't know how to get out. Then, music saved me from that world and I was able to be free of those things... But even now, my life is all about depression, violence, and tragedy. And the only good thing I have today is my neighbor that I don't want to scare away with my shameful history."

I was speechless, trembling and I felt like I could faint at any moment. I forced myself to speak anything as I turned around to look him in the eyes. I wasn't expecting such closeness, but I still got the courage to speak.

"What happened to you?"

"I... It's too hard for me to talk about it..." There was silence in that room, and it was killing me. Chester continued talking in a whisper. "I -- I don't want you to go inside my apartment because there are bottles of pills everywhere, everything is dirty and out of place, but I have no joy in tidying up that lair. It's dark and depressing, like me... And I can't contaminate you. It's not fair for you to enter in such a horrible house. It's -- it's better if you stop talking to me and if you stop going out with me..."

Chester turned around to leave, opening the front door from my apartment. As if something possessed me, I rushed to get him, passed by him and opened the door of his apartment, since Chester left it slightly opened. He called my name, tried to stop me, but I entered and ran to the living room. He was right, it was dark and depressing, all messy and smelly.

"Why did you do this?? After what I just told you?" He yelled with his rage boiling.

"So that you understand that I am not going anywhere. I am not going to stop talking to you. I am not going to stop going out with you. You can let me in, Chester. You won't scare me away! I want to help you. Please..." I walked to him and grabbed his hands, brushing them with my thumbs. "Let me help you."

"How?" He whispered very faintly, his rage disappearing completely.

I looked around me and a grin appeared on my face, much to his confusion.

"Well, first, we're going to clean this house." He tried to interrupt me, but I didn't let him. "No buts! Then, we're going to have dinner here, together. Open window, candle lights, anything to end up with this darkness."

Chester smiled slightly and it was enough to warm up my heart.

"And as for the pills" that were really scattered around the apartment, "we're going to put them all in one place where you can quickly take them. You don't need to see them every day like they are right now."

"I don't deserve your help." He admitted, pulling me again to an embrace. This time, his chin was resting at the top of my dark hair and my face was buried in his chest, making me feel the scent of his cologne. You know those moments when you feel the scent of someone and it makes you feel a twist inside your stomach and you know for sure that you are fucked up? Well, I realized at that moment that I am fucked up. I have more feelings for that man than I was supposed to.

"You deserve more than you can imagine." I widened my eyes as the realization about my feelings towards him hit me. And the fact that Chester started brushing my hair tenderly wasn't helping either.

"You look like a guardian angel fallen from the sky to help me. How can I ever thank you?" It sounded more like a loud thought than a question to me.

I was feeling suffocating with all those thoughts and those feelings, and I just had to find a way to get away from his arms. I needed fresh air. Alone.

I pulled away from his hug and punched him in the arm, _not awkwardly at all_ _\- good job, Ana. _

"You can start by having breakfast with me every weekend." _Why would I say this? For fuck's sake, be quiet for once in your goddamn life!_

"Deal," Chester's expression was a mix of amusement, confusion, and happiness.

_Oh God, here we go._


	13. The worried half-sister

For the next few days, my routine was the same:

1\. Wake up;

2\. Get ready to go to work;

3\. Have breakfast with Chester;

4\. Go to work;

5\. Knock on Chester's door;

6\. Clean his house with him;

7\. Go to sleep;

8\. Return to step 1.

It was a lot for both of us. His house was a mess. There was a pile of dirty clothes inside a basket. Chester says that he usually takes his clothes to the laundry to get clean, even though he has a washing machine. There's another pile of dirty dishes that he only washes whenever he needs something, and it stinks. His living room had magazines, books, and lots of papers scattered around the living room, creating a messy environment where you can't even find a place to sit your ass. Don't let me start speaking about his bathroom, that's just gross. Clearly, that bathroom was never cleaned and he just piled up shampoo bottles in the trash bin, but never took the trash out.

When we entered his bedroom, I thought it was going to be messy, but it actually surprised me. It wasn't clean and shining, but at least his bed was properly done, there were no clothes on the floor - like I was expecting -, and the only thing that was out of place where his bottle of pills.

"I'm sure you regretted by now for offering help," I heard Chester muttering under his breath, thinking I wouldn't hear him.

"I don't and I won't. Besides, you owe me a dinner, under the candlelights," I chuckled, sitting on his now cleaned couch.

"Aren't you a little disgusted by me?".

"Nope, sorry to disappoint."

Chester chuckled and resumed grading his student's tests. Whenever he had work to do at home, I forced him to do it while I continued with the cleaning. He doesn't enjoy when I do that, but it's not like I care. I stopped for a while and looked at him, studying his concentrated features. Every now and then, a smile threatens to show up in his face, probably because of his student's responses, and I couldn't help but smile - he really loves his job.

When he shifted in his seat, I woke up from the trance I was in and diverted my look.

"Uh, speaking of which - " I cleared my throat. "When are you going to cook for me?"

"When are you free?" He asked, getting up from his seat and approaching me with a gleam in his eyes, with his pen between his fingers. He played with it in a nervous way. Why would he be nervous?

"Tomorrow?"

He grimaced.

"I can't tomorrow --" As he saw my sad face, he looked at his watch, put both his hands on my shoulders, massaging them, making me freeze. "What about -- you go back home, take a long, and relaxing shower, come back in an hour and a half and we'll have dinner tonight?"

A scorching sensation started growing in my lower belly.

"Uh -- yeah, yeah, alright. I'll go," I pulled away from him and left his apartment. "Take your time, see ya later, then." 

And I rushed to my apartment, panting when I closed the door behind me. _What the hell is he doing to me? Why am I reacting this way?_ I stood there for a moment, just throwing a bunch of questions for God knows who to respond, and only after that, I remembered that I was there for a shower. _A long, and relaxing shower._

I closed my eyes for a moment when I felt the warm water covering my exposed body. I usually don't do baths, I just shower, it's quicker. But it is relaxing though. Everything around me stopped and the only thing disturbing my moment was him, and the way I have been feeling around him lately. Realizing that I had more feelings than I should really shook me to my core. Obviously, I am not going to share that realization with him. It would just scare him away. But I also can't stay away from him -- not now that he's letting me in. Not now that he's opening up. It would be like a betrayal.

So all that I had to do is to suck it up and continue being his friend, neglecting the turmoil inside my heart.

That's why dinner that night was so hard.

When I arrived at his apartment, he had the lights turned off and candles lighten all over the place, soft background music playing and on his phone and a delicious smell in the air that made me realize how hungry I was.

"I hope you like it because I am exhausted." I had my mouth open in shock and didn't answer. Noticing my expression, Chester was starting to get worried. "It's not too much, is it?"

"No! No... it's perfect."

"I -- I wanted to put music on the turntable I have, but it's not working. So... " he shook his phone in a shy way. Then, he offered me a seat at the table, by his opened window, where the few city lights on his side of the building could be acknowledged. 

"This is all perfect. Thank you," I smiled at him, praying that he couldn't see how blushed I was.

We had to most pleasant dinner, but both of us were tired from all the cleaning, so it didn't take too long for me to say my goodbyes and go back home, back to my bed, where I didn't have one minute of sleep that night.

***

The next day, Chester was working all day and he would be at working late, because of the rehearsals for the university's anniversary show. 

So, you could say that I was bored to death after getting back from work. I turned the T.V. on and chose a movie on Netflix to watch and eat popcorns at the same time. I decided to see Shaft, with Samuel L. Jackson, and forget all about Chester. But when it was almost 10 P.M., my cinematic moment was interrupted by someone knocking on Chester's door.

"Hey, Chester! I know you're there, please don't ignore me!" I heard someone calling for him.

I furrowed my brows at the sound. It was a woman's voice. And, for what I know, Chester doesn't have any friends. Especially women. 

A cold feeling grew inside my chest, fearing that there was someone else in his life that he didn't mention for some reason... Maybe a girlfriend. Or a lover. I know it's Chester I'm talking about, it's so hard to socialize with him that I almost need to beg him to talk to me sometimes, let alone having a girlfriend. But I couldn't help but feel jealous of that person. I know I have no right to feel that way, but the truth is that I felt jealous just by thinking about the possibility of Chester having someone in his life that it's not me.

I wanted to ignore her - I really did, but she didn't give up. So, I got up from the couch and opened my front door to talk to her.

"Hi," I said, turning her attention to me."Chester is not home tonight. He's working late."

"Hi, I'm Rene." _His half-sister_, I thought, feeling a wave of relief washing away my previous thoughts. "How do you know where he is? He's not the one to talk to people, let alone let them know about his whereabouts." She said, a little too rude for my taste.

"I'm Ana, his neighbor and... friend? I moved here a few months ago, and we became friends."

"Are you sure? You're sure you're talking about my brother?" She asked.

"Yes, I'm pretty sure. He told me about you." She eyed me with a doubtful look and I sighed. "Tattoos, piercings, and the same shiny brown eyes as you."

She sighed in relief, leaning against his apartment's door.

"Thank God, he started going out of his shell."

"It isn't easy," I said, fidgeting with my fingers. "Some days he's like this normal person, sweet and funny, but in the next one he's cold, harsh and saying stupid things."

She eyed me for a while as if she was processing the information about his brother actually socializing - with a woman. It was too hard for her to believe, but when she saw nothing but honesty behind my words as I talked about him, part of her was relieved that Chester had someone. And for what she could perceive, someone very fond of him.

"I know, Chester is not easy... I worry about him all the time, even though he's always neglecting me, not answering my calls... I live scared all the time, and when he didn't pick up his phone this last week, I don't know -- I thought..." She decided not to tell me more than she should. She doesn't know what I know or not, and she definitely didn't want to betray her brother's trust - if there's any.

"Do you want to come in for a tea or coffee? He's going to be late tonight, so if you'd like to wait for him you can come in."

She smiled and nodded, entering my apartment. She closed the door behind her, put her jacket in the hanger and analyzed the room, smiling when she saw Chester's black acoustic guitar on my couch. Our relationship was getting interesting to her. She asked things about me, how we met each other and other things about the times when Chester was a happy kid. I couldn't help but smile.

"Chester probably didn't answer your calls because last week he was busy. Between rehearsals and cleaning his house, he--"

"What? Cleaning his house?" Rene interrupted me.

"Yes... I've been helping him with that. Why?"

"Nevermind." She took a sip of the coffee I made for her and sighed. "I'm just glad he has someone now. Just -- please don't hurt him. He suffered enough."

"I know..."

"Have he told you?" She asked in shock.

"Oh - no, no. He's trying to, but he hasn't told me anything yet. And I don't want to pressure him into telling me anything he doesn't want me to."

"Ok. But even the thought of having you by his side is more than comforting to me, thank you, Ana. I'm glad he has friends like you by his side. He really, really needs those kinds of people." I smiled and she muttered under his breath _At least it stops him from doing stupid things._

I was about to ask her what she was talking about when I heard keys in the corridor. Chester was opening his apartment door, and I rushed to the corridor to tell him his sister was there. But when he saw her behind me, inside my apartment, there was panic flashing through his face. Then, there was an explosion of rage and he started growling like an animal.

"Uh - what the hell are you doing? Why is my sister in your apartment?"

"She was waiting for you and I offered som--"

"Don't you know how to mind your goddamn business, Ana? Just get a life!"

"Chester, what's wrong?" I asked, taking a step towards him. His sister was just analyzing the situation. After 20 years of being a cop, she knows it's always better to know all the facts in front of her before stepping in, so she let us argue.

"What's wrong??? Are you fucking kidding me? What's wrong is that I let you in just for a second, and you think you can interfere with other people's lives! No -- cleaning my apartment was one thing, but this...." He pointed at his sister. "I bet you squeezed her to tell you everything about me, didn't you? Because you just don't know when to shut the fuck up!"

"CHESTER, enough!!!" I heard Rene yell from behind me.

She left my apartment and positioned herself in front of me. I was in shock, and I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. 

Rene pushed Chester to his apartment - because she was going to bring hell upon him - but turned to me before entering.

"Please, don't let his words get to you. When he's mad, he doesn't know what he says. I'm really sorry, Ana, but, please, don't give up on him. Don't give up on my brother."

I nodded, cleaned my tears to make myself look stronger and got back to my apartment. When I closed my door, I leaned against it and slid down, burying my head in my knees, as I hugged my legs closer to me and cried.

Rene could see that I was changing something about her brother. Something that she tried many years to solve._ His broken heart_. 

After the incident, she lost Chester. He went away, got himself into deep shit, and only when she convinced him to talk to her husband, a psychologist, Chester started to give some signs of improvement. Then, he stopped. Just like that. And for years, he has been trying to avoid her and her husband, claiming he was fine and didn't need anyone. But after meeting me that night, she knew he was full of bullshit. He needs someone, and that someone is just outside his door.

"Now, you're going to listen to me, Chester, and you're going to listen very carefully..." She started, after overcoming her shock of seeing his apartment like she's never seen before: _a home._


	14. Another apology

"The girl is amazing, worries about you, and you treat her like shit?" Rene asked, watching her brother taking a bunch of pills from a medicine cabinet (something that she knows it didn't exist before).

"She shouldn't pry on other people's life!"

"She cares about you!"

"Well, she shouldn't," he whispered.

"And she didn't pry. She asked me to get in because I wouldn't go away without talking to you personally, and she invited me in to wait because she knew you were going to be late. And that's how you treat the girl... priceless. You're fucking priceless, Chester! Always pushing away people who care about you."

Chester looked up at her.

"She didn't ask anything about... ya know..."

"No. Not at all."

"Fuck," he whispered, realizing how he fucked up for good this time.

"And even if she did, if she's your friend as she claims to be, don't you think she deserves to know? The thing is, after what I saw tonight, this behavior of yours, this harmful behavior of yours, this isn't the first time you snapped at her, is it?"

He looked down, disappointed with himself.

"And yet, here she is, cleaning your apartment. Don't you think that's someone valuable that you should treat well? Fuck, I don't care if you don't pick up my calls, but, at least, don't fuck this up with her, she's might be the help you need."

"I don't need her to fix me, I'm all fucked up by myself..."

"Don't you think she's the one who gets to decide this?"

Chester was trapped. He knows that I don't like when someone tells me what I should or should not do. I don't like when people assume things about me. He knows so much about me, and yet, he gives nothing from himself. That's selfish and he knows that very well.

He sighed and went to the kitchen to prepare a calming tea for him and his sister. A smile appeared on his face when he observed all the cleaned mugs inside his cabinets and the special mug that I gave to him two days ago when I rang his bell to continue with the cleaning work. It is a black mug, with big white letters saying _Have a nice day_! But when you actually drink from the cup, there's a drawing of a hand under it, showing the middle finger.

He gave a white mug to his sister and used my gift for the first time. Then, he told her how we became friends and how hard he tried to push me away, even though he didn't want to.

"How can I tell her about Mia, Ri? What about drugs? And -- ... she's never going to look at me with the same eyes."

"If you continue to treat her like shit, she definitely will leave you behind. Chester, have it come to your brilliant mind that she might actually be your friend and stay by your side?"

"You know what happens to all my friends. They all end up away from me."

"Probably you should stop pushing people away, then." He looked at her and rolled his eyes, but she continued. "Chester, have you seen your apartment? 3 years. For 3 years you lived here and you never even swept the floor. And you might imagine my shock when a gorgeous girl appeared to me with an innocent smile, saying she's your friend and knowing your whereabouts. My brother -- the caveman, has a beautiful girl as a friend. Do you know how confusing that was for me?"

Chester chuckled at his sister's dramatic side. If she didn't choose to go to the police, she might have been a good drama queen.

"I was even rude with her at first, because I thought she was delusional," she smiled and put a hand on Chester's leg. "Chester, please, don't let her go. Talk to her."

He nodded and smiled weakly.

"And never neglect my existence, like, ever again," she threatened.

"Alright," he muttered.

"I am not joking. Stop pushing people away. And do something about yourself, and Ana."

"Alright," he said again, like a kid being scolded.

"Now', I'm going to leave you alone, because Marcus must be waiting for me awake. But you're gonna keep in touch, or I'll be back. Promise me," she insisted, "Promise you won't do anything stupid and will try to get better."

"I promise you, Ri."

She got out of his apartment but knocked on my door before leaving. She did leave her jacket there and she really wanted to speak to me before going away. She didn't want his brother to lose - _possibly _\- his only chance of having a normal life.

When I opened the door, one hour after Chester yelled at me, I was in my pajamas and was eating ice cream in front of the T.V., trying to be distracted by some horror movie that I wasn't really paying attention.

Rene's expression softened when she saw my swollen eyes.

"Hey, my jacket's still in here, and I'm about to go... so..."

"Yeah, yeah, sure..." I returned the jacket. "How is he?"

She started laughing and I furrowed my brows.

"You're the one that was yelled at with hurtful words and you ask how that asshole is? You really are special. I'll be in touch, Ana. Thank you for taking care of my brother," and she left, leaving me confused by her words.

I was about to close my door when Chester opened his and stared at me with an apologetic smile. I was so not ready to hear his excuses, once again, so I rolled my eyes and went back to the couch, leaving my door opened. After picking up my spoon, I continued eating my ice cream focused on the T.V. while ignoring Chester's presence.

He kneeled in front of me and set a hand on my knee, to call for my attention.

I looked down at him, trying hard not to show any facial expression.

"I know you're sick of hearing this, but I am really sorry, Ana. I swear, I didn't mean any of those words. I swear... You're an amazing woman, and I should rot in hell for hurting you... I -- When I saw you with my sister I thought --" he gulped and sat back on the floor, looking down. "I have been neglecting her for the past years. Her and all my family. I... I did horrible things because I was mad, I felt betrayed, and I didn't want to live with them anymore, so I left when I was still underage. I did horrible things, Ana... And Rene knows everything. She was the one that never allowed me to walk away from her life and did everything for me... But she can be... uh - _how can I say this _\- nosy? She's a cop, so she's always trying to find a solution to everything, even if that means do what I don't want her to do. And when I saw her here with you, I thought she might have told you personal things that I am not ready to put out yet."

I hummed under my breath, assuring him that I was listening to every word he said. But didn't say a word, nor made any expression.

"You are my friend. My best friend. And you're trying to help me. I really appreciate that, and I hope that I didn't fuck this up... Please -- tell me I didn't fuck up for good..."

His pleading eyes were more than enough for me to close mine and take a deep breath.

"Chester... it's not fair. You hurt me... You keep hurting me... Over and over again..."

"I know."

"Am I that... meddlesome?"

"No!" He shook his head, kneeling again. He took the ice cream from my reach and grabbed my hands. "You're more than allowed to ask me things, to talk to whoever you want, and to want to know more."

"So tell me more," I asked, my voice failing on me.

"I can't," he admitted. "I'm sorry."

I pulled away from his grip and closed my eyes for a moment.

"It's ok."

I picked up my ice cream and returned to my attempt to keep a dull face, staring at the horror movie on the T.V.

Chester didn't move and stared at me for a while, his heart beating faster inside his chest. He was scared -- No -- He was terrified that he finally managed to push away the only person he wanted to be close to him. He couldn't read my reaction - I wasn't giving him any -, so he stood there staring, expecting something from me, even if it was something like "_get the fuck out"_. 

So he just waited.

His stare was killing me. And his uneven breathing was making me shiver.

"Do you want to watch this movie with me?" I ended up asking. 

That heavy tension was killing me inside.

"Sure," he sat by my side without saying anything else until he the time he went home. During the movie, even though there wasn't much interaction, he even shared my ice cream, and, occasionally, glanced at me hoping that I didn't notice.

But I noticed.


	15. Taking care of people drunk is never easy

On the next day - Saturday - I decided to stay home.

I wore my pajamas all day, didn't put on any makeup and didn't bother to cook. I just put a pepperoni pizza in the oven to get fat alone. The only thing that was properly done was my hair, washed and straightened, silky and shiny, just as I love it. If there's something that I feel proud of myself is my hair and I do everything I can to make sure it grows as healthier as possible.

I was relaxing on my kitchen island, eating dinner and reading a book called _The Hypnotist _by Lars Kepler, when the bell disrupted my peaceful moment.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door, revealing Chester's big doe-eyes and his enormous smirk. _God, his smile._

"Do you have plans for tonight?" He asked and entered my apartment without giving me a chance to say something or even protest.

"Uh - no."

"Now you do," he beamed with an unusual energy. "Wanna go to a party with me?"

"Goodnight to you too, I'm doing fine, and where's that party?" I crossed my arms over my chest in a judgemental way.

He smiled again.

"The same bar we went the other night with Nicole... and P-peter." He cleared his throat.

"Oh, ok... I have nothing better to do. But you'll have to wait. I'm finishing my dinner, and then I have to get dressed."

"Why? You look so sexy, I'm sure lots of guys in that bar will turn their attention to you as soon as you walk in." He mocked my Spongebob pajama. _What's wrong with it? Can't a girl be lazy and not wear sexy clothes all the time? This is real life, not a movie. On a lazy day, I don't walk around in sexy lingerie and a silky robe, with make-up and voluminous, wavy hair like Victoria Secrets' angels. What's wrong with my Spongebob pajamas?_

I rolled my eyes at him and finished my dinner quickly without giving him much conversation. Then, I ran to my bedroom and picked up something casual, matching his outfit. So, I put on my favorite jeans, a purple and silky tank top, along with my purple Allstars. I picked a silver necklace with a shiny heart-shaped pendant, with matching earrings, and a simple bracelet. For the makeup, I just put on some conceal under my eyes, and mascara. And after putting my perfume, I was good to go.

I got out of my bedroom, only to find Chester taking a look at my book. His eyes landed on me immediately.

"You look beautiful," he said.

Normally, I would blush. But I'm still kinda mad at him, so I answered him in a sarcastic tone.

"Thank you very much, it really doesn't look like you're trying to make up for the shit you said yesterday."

Chester tensed up at first, but then relaxed when I asked him if he was going to stay there gawking all night or if he was actually going to take me out. He decided to drive his car to the bar, even though it was only at a distance of 10-minutes walk away and parked the car on the street next to the small building of the cozy bar.

As usual, we took a sit on the corner of the bar, on the round couch. There were still a few empty tables, but as time passed, they started to get full, and there were people dancing like crazy on the dancefloor and drinking shots at the bar. I noticed some shots that were on fire and I wondered how people manage to drink that. _Doesn't it burn?_

Chester noticed how attentive I was to the drinks and how my brows furrowed when I saw the flaming shots.

"They do that do enhance the flavor," he said near to my ear, making me shiver.

"Doesn't that burn your throat?" I asked in shock, making Chester chuckle.

"They put it on fire for 10 seconds, then they press a hand over the glass to put out the fire. With no oxygen, the fire is out and the glass should stick to the hand. Then you shake it -- see?" He pointed to the bartender preparing a flaming shot.

"Oh God, who even likes that?"

"It's not that bad," Chester said looking down at his hands, and I knew immediately that he remembered the period in his life where he drank too much alcohol. I still don't know how that happened, but I don't feel like asking, especially after what he said last night. Luckily, my phone rang and it was Nicole. "Aren't you going to pick up?"

I looked at my watch and it was late. It could be important. I don't think she would call me at this time of the night, I could be sleeping.

"I should... It's Nikki. Do you mind?"

"Not at all, I'll be here waiting for you," he sent me a warm smile and I melted. Then, I remembered I was still mad and went outside to call her back.

After a few times ringing, she finally picked up.

"Were you sleeping?" She asked, her voice hiding concern behind it.

"No. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah -- uh, I mean, I don't know. I just need to talk to you." She sighed. "Chris called me. He wanted to meet up. He said he needed to talk, to clear things."

"No way! What an asshole. You're not going, right?"

There was silence on the other side of the line.

"Nikki... What did you do?"

"I just met him and we drank coffee and we talked, and..." 

"And..."

"And he wants me back. He said he loves me and that he made a mistake and that he wants me back." 

"Motherfucker... Tell me you didn't do anything, Nicole, or I'm gonna kick your ass."

She started laughing hard and then started crying. 

"He kissed me. And I let him. But then, I stopped him because I felt... I felt... nothing. Absolutely nothing. I don't love him anymore. I don't even like him. And I don't know why... It felt so wrong..."

"Thank God, you have brains!"

"I just needed to call you, and share this discovery with you. I'm so relieved and euphoric at the same time. I have nothing left for him, and I couldn't be happier! Besides, I have good news for you."

"Are you pregnant?" I joked. _Please, don't tell me you're pregnant._

"Ha-ha, very funny. No. I'm actually starting to work in Grantt's enterprise. Peter did give me a job as he promised!"

"That's so good, Nikki. Congratulations on the job. You deserve it!"

"Yeah, I do. I really do, don't I?" She paused for a moment when she heard people passing by me and talking. "Are you outside?"

"Yes, I'm at a bar."

"I hope it's with a guy, otherwise I'll never forgive you for having other friends," we laughed and then she became serious. "I'm not kidding. I'll kill you."

"Well, I'm with Chester... He's --"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to interrupt." She said immediately.

"You're not int--"

"I'm gonna go. Go back to your hot punk guy. Bye."

And then she hung up, just like that.

I stood there for a moment, processing the conversation and how it ended. This girl is so bipolar sometimes... I don't even know if I should call her back and insult her or go back inside. But after sometime zooming out in the middle of the street, I decided to get back inside. 

When my eyes landed on the couch where I left Chester, there were unknown people sitting there, and Chester was nowhere to be seen.

I scanned the bar, from one side to the other, and furrowed my brows, thinking he might have left me alone. But suddenly, I felt two arms landing on my waist, and when I looked down to the hands that were grabbing me, I saw the familiar tattoed flames. Chester grabbed me from behind, gluing his body to mine with no inhibitions. I felt all of him, and his scent, and his breathing in my ear that made me shiver for the second time that night.

"Chester..." I called faintly. 

He turned me around, forcing me to face him.

His eyes had this weird gleam that disconcerted me somehow; you couldn't see any of its brown colors; it was all black, white and red. And then, when I felt that unsavory smell of alcohol, I realized: _he drank while I was out._

"Are you alright?" I asked, "Have you been drinking?"

"Yes, and it feels amazing, Ana. You should try too."

"No, and you shouldn't have done that. You haven't been drinking in years! Why would you do that now?"

"Because I felt like it... I don't know. I wanted to." He was swaying through the dance floor, never giving me the opportunity to get away from his grip.

I studied his frenzy posture and the way he looked at me like I was some kind of prey, and sighed in disappointment.

"I wanna go home..."

"Please, just dance with me for a while," he drew me closer to him, tightening his grip. I tried hard not to look him in the eyes because, first of all, he is beautiful and the way he was looking at me was intimidating, and second, he was drunk and might do something that he would, undoubtedly, regret in the morning.

I agreed, leaning my head against his shoulder as we danced to the music. The music wasn't calm at all, but Chester just wanted to dance clinging to me. And for a while, we did just that: my head relaxed on his shoulder and inhaled his perfume; his hands rested on my hips, tenderly pulling me to him.

When it was getting unbearable just to stand there with him, I drew away from him and looked up.

"I need water. It's getting hot in here."

"But I was really enjoying our dance," he pouted._ Oh God_, h_e is so adorable and annoying at the same time_. I didn't really know what I would have done if my common sense wasn't sending me warnings.

"Me too. I'll get me some water, we'll dance for a little while and then we go back home, alright?"

Chester smiled and planted a kiss on my cheek. Thank God the place wasn't very illuminated, but I still sprinted away from him, fully flushed. _Why the hell did he do that? That's not fair... He's not playing fair._

I looked back at Chester and he was occupied, dancing alone to the sound of the music, with a totally different rhythm from what we were dancing to just moments ago. I didn't even notice the man by my side in the bar, while I was waiting for my water. He was staring at me, licking his lips. I only felt his presence when he approached me and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

"You are the most beautiful woman in the bar tonight, you know that?"

I looked at the man and furrowed my brows. Even though he was handsome, that was not an appropriate way to talk to someone you don't even know. Not paying attention to his advances and closeness, I grabbed my water and turned around to leave, but he had me trapped between his muscular body and the bar.

"Not even a _thank you_? That's not very polite for a pretty woman like you."

He tried to put a hand on my cheek, and I was ready to teach him a lesson when someone grabbed him from behind and pushed him away in an aggressive mode. It was Chester, and he was panting with rage.

I grabbed Chester immediately because he was about to throw himself at the man.

"Hey! Hey," I grabbed his face with my hands, forcing him to look at me. As soon as his eyes were locked with mine, his rage slowly faded. "He didn't do anything to me, and it's not worth it. Let's go home, please. I don't want to be here anymore."

Chester looked with such fury at the guy behind me that was shouting at us, defying Chester to fight him, but I caught his attention again, by planting a very faint kiss on his lips. I don't know why I did this, but I did. And I cursed myself for it.

"Thank you for defending me, but please, take me home."

He thought about it for a moment, perplexed and taken aback by my gentle kiss, which put him in some kind of relaxed trance. It seemed liked the kiss worked wonders, so, I intertwined my arm with his and left the bar, totally ignoring the man shouting and insulting us.

Chester was the one driving us to the bar, but there was no way I was gonna let him drive his car. When I talked to him for the first time after leaving the bar, he didn't answer, it was like he wasn't even here. It was like he was in shock. _Maybe I broke him with that kiss. Uh-oh_.

"Chester, I need your car keys... I'm gonna search your pockets, alright?" He didn't answer, just followed me with his eyes while I searched for his keys. When I found them, I unlocked the car and opened his door, helping him to get to the passenger seat.

A quick ride turned out to be the hardest I've ever had. The silence was killing me and the only thing that could be heard was the engine.

I helped him out of the car after parking it in his usual spot and helped him walk back to our building. This time, I called the elevator. There's no way I was gonna carry his body to the 1st floor. He might be thin, but he has a lot of muscles, and the worst part was that he was drunk, which makes everyone feel heavier.

When we reached our apartments, I hoped he would get inside by himself, but he didn't move. He didn't even take his keys out.

I rolled my eyes and told him I was going to search for his apartment keys in his pockets. Then, I opened his door and lead him inside. He didn't move, nor talked or did anything that proved he was going to go to bed by himself. So, I sighed and guided him to the bedroom.

After turning the lights on, I pulled his sheets to the side and made him sit.

"I'm gonna take off your shirt, your belt, and your shoes, then you're going to sleep, alright?"

He didn't answer, but his eyes were glued to mine. It didn't help either that when I took off his shirt I felt a twist inside my lower stomach - a lewd burning sensation. He has many tattoos in places I weren't even aware of. His abs were prominent, confirming that he works out and that he takes care of himself - at least physically.

I prayed to God to give me strength and gulped.

Then, I made him lie down, my hands slowly traveling to his pants. I only want to take off his belt. That's not a big deal... But I was shaking. I unbelted him, moving my hands carefully and not daring to look him in the eyes. I knew he was staring, and at that moment I don't know what I would have done if I looked up.

Finally, the belt was off and I moved to his legs, easily taking his shoes off.

For a moment, I imagined that he might be more comfortable with no pants off, but I shook those thoughts away.

I tugged the covers up, at last.

"I'm gonna turn off the lights and go home. You can call me if you need anything, no matter at what time it happens. Will you be alright?"

He denied my question with a nod and I furrowed my brows.

"No..." He said faintly. "Don't go."

I inhaled some air into my lungs, praying that it might give me strength.

"Please, Ana. Stay."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Chester..."

"Please..." He begged, clutching my hand with his. "I need you."

How would I say no to him? I didn't have the courage in me to leave. He was so drunk, in a state that I have never seen him in, and the brown in his eyes was back, pleading for compassion. 

_How could I say no?_

"Alright... but only until you fall asleep."

He smiled weakly and I hopped into the bed after taking off my shoes. Awkwardly, I lie on my back and stared at the dim ceiling.

Chester turned to my side, facing me completely, but he didn't speak anymore. He stared at first, leaned in slowly, and buried his face on the crook of my neck, while his hand rested on my belly. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep, but I didn't move one bit until I was sure he was really sleeping.

Only then, I slid down off the bed and sat on the floor, processing everything that happened that night. The invitation; the call from Nicole; seeing Chester drunk; the fight at the bar; the kiss... _Oh, the kiss, why did I do that? _Would he remember in the morning and be pissed at me? I fucked up... _I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have._

I got up, grabbed my shoes and took a deep breath when I reached his bedroom door. Before closing it, I looked at him peacefully sleeping in his bed and smiled warmly. _Only if he saw how beautiful he is without even trying..._

I sighed and closed the door.


	16. You can't hide your emotions anymore. Not from me.

It's Sunday morning and I wasn't waiting for Chester to come to have breakfast with me. That was the stupid deal I made with him last week, right? The stupid deal that I don't even know how I had the courage to make. Anyway, since Chester was so wasted last night, I knew he wouldn't show up, and I was right. Very much right - I didn't even see him on that day.

So, when it was night time, I decided to send him a text message. Just to check on him.

_Hey, you... How are you feeling today? You were pretty wasted last night._

I waited for his reply, but there was none, so I dedicated my time to Netflix, exploring the options available. Since I was finishing Stranger Things, I decided to explore another good series. Eventually, I gave up because nothing really interested me. Or maybe it was because I was whishing that Chester knocked on my door and ended this boredom.

Since I was not that lucky, that didn't happent and I just clicked in a random comedy movie to distract myself.

My phone notified me of a text message and I picked it up instantly since it was Chester's.

_Like shit._

_Yeah, I noticed that..._ I replied, biting my lip as I wondered if he remembers anything that happened... Like the kiss, or how he asked me to stay with him and told me he needs me.

_I shouldn't have drunk. Did something happen last night? I'm a mess whenever I drink._

My heart skipped a beat - _he doesn't remember_. Part of me was relieved, but the other part couldn't be sadder.

_No. Nothing happened._

I waited for another response, but I had none.

And for the next few days, I didn't even see him, nor received a text message from him. I texted him several times and even knocked on his door, but it was like he vanished. 

Sometimes, I heard him opening or closing his apartment door, but when I rushed to the corridor, he was nowhere to be seen. It was like he was trying his best to avoid me - for God knows why - and he actually managed to do it.

I saw him twice that week through my peephole. And I didn't like what I saw. 

He was tipsy. He's been drinking again.

Chester noticed how he felt lighter when he drank that night when he went out with me. And as he was trying to conceal what his heart was telling him to do, he decided to take refuge in alcohol again. He knew he was wrong and it was bad, but no one could understand what he was feeling, nor he wanted them to understand.

So, every night, he went out to a bar, drank as much as his money let him, and went back home, leaning on every wall for support. It was saddening and depressing, but at least he was feeling in deep shit because of how drunk he got, not because of how he feels when he sees me.

After a week of knocking on his door, texting him and waiting for him to get home at decent hours, I gave up and moved on with my life.

***

That night I decided that I wouldn't think about Chester. 

At least I would try. 

I took care of myself; got my nails done; cut my hair. And when I got home I ordered a pizza just for myself; took a shower while the pizza was on its way and ate dinner on my couch, in front of the TV. I finished watching Stranger Things, season 3 that night. As I saw the last episode I was pissed off! I was pissed off because Joyce didn't get the chance to go out with Jim Hopper (_hot David Harbou_r), and Jim died, and Chester wasn't talking with me for some fucking reason I am totally unaware of. _What is wrong with people, for fuck's sake???_

By that time, I already drank my third beer. I am not used to drinking any kind of alcohol, so I was a little tipsy. Tipsy enough to be too angry just because of how the last episode ended. Obviously, after the credit scene, I was jumping up and down because there was a remote possibility that Jim's alive.

_So there's always hope, after all._

I wondered what Chester was doing and if he liked Stranger Things as I do. Then I mentally slapped myself for thinking about him all the time, like a teenager possessed by a rollercoaster of hormones.

He always gives me fucking excuses for his bizarre behavior and I'm always forgiving him. Then, I end up forgiving him, and he acts normal again. And then he insults me, yells at me and humiliates me just because I made tea for his fucking sister! Then, he says he's sorry, does everything to get my forgiveness, and then, he just vanishes, ignores me, like I am no one. He treats me like shit, and, in the end, I always end up waiting for him to come back, to knock on my door and give me his apologetic doe-eyes -- I melt because my heart skips a beat every time I see him and almost stops when he smiles or when he says my name. And I don't think I've mistreated him to get this kind of behavior. I know I didn't.

_Maybe I should knock on his door and call him an asshole_. _Or maybe... maybe I could just go to sleep and stop thinking about him all the time! He is not worthy of my worry._

That was the option I accepted. So, I got my lazy ass off the couch, put the empty beer bottles on the counter and turned around to go to sleep. But just as I was entering my bedroom, I heard someone fighting in the corridor. I recognized Chester's soft voice, trying to be quiet and make whoever was there quiet too, but the other person was yelling. People are trying to sleep - _not me, but I could be, goddamn it!_

I listened to them behind my door, assuming that it was better if I just stayed inside and pretended I didn't hear them. But as I heard what the other man was saying to Chester, how rude he was acting, I had enough.

_You will pay for what you did, Chester. You can run away from me all your life, I already proved you that I will always find you. And will always make your life a living hell for what you did to her!_ I heard the man saying. 

_Please, leave me alone! It's enough, Mike!_ Chester said.

_Don't you dare to say it's enough! You have no right to say it. You took everything from me! And I'll make you pay; I'll make you suffer, slowly and in the most painful way. And when you think you can't handle it anymore, I'll be there to remember you that you deserve everything bad in this world._

I ignored whatever Chester was answering when I opened my door abruptly, forcing an angry expression on my face.

"What the fuck is this?" I asked.

The man turned to me in the most unbothered expression.

"It's none of your business, go home." 

But then he widened his eyes when he saw me - as if he recognized me. I swear I've seen him before, but I was not sure where.

I disregarded his stare and looked at Chester, which made my heart shatter in millions of pieces. He was shaking, and he had tears strolling down his cheeks, his eyes looking at me, almost pleading me to go home.

"Hmm... What about no? You're being rude and you're making too much noise, and people are trying to sleep, here!"

"I won't tell you twice," he threatened me, giving me an unimpressive deadly glare. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and leaned against my door frame.

"I am not afraid of you. I've seen older man scarier than you." I challenged him, but when he was about to speak, Chester spoke louder than us.

"Please - Mike, just go. We'll talk another day." He turned to me. "Go inside, please."

"Hell, no!" I turned to Mike and pointed a finger at him like I was scolding a kid. "If you don't leave, I'll call the police."

Mike's expression became softer, but then turned into a devilish one while he took a step closer to me. I didn't move, not even flinched. "I'd like to see you try." He said. Then, - ignoring Chester's plea - he brushed a strand of hair away from my face. I continued still, not even looking away from him. "I wonder what a beautiful and delicate girl like you could do to stop me..."

As I noticed Chester's behavior shift to an aggressive one, I saw by the corner of my eyes that he was clenching his fists, ready to fight. I wouldn't let him do it. Not in his state. He was too vulnerable emotionally to do anything, so I did what I promised not to do unless truly necessary, and applied a simple move I learned in my fighting classes. I caught his arm with one hand, getting out on my hip on the same side as his arm - which took him by surprise -, then reached around him, pinned his elbow behind his back with my torso and held his wrist by cupping it with my palm as my elbow was against my own hip so I could apply more pressure. One simple move that could immobilize anyone.

I took my time to let him process what was happening, as I pushed him harder against the wall. Chester was behind me with his hands on his mouth.

I squeezed Mike's arms a little more before talking in a low voice, almost as a whisper so that only we could hear.

"Listen very carefully: I don't really need the police to get rid of you. In this building, you're going to respect everyone who lives here. If you have a problem with Chester or not, it is none of my business. But -- if you ever yell at my doorstep and disrespect me or him, the beautiful girl will not be so delicate next time. So, please, leave and don't ever come back, unless you're invited."

I knew he was listening to every word I said. He was breathing heavy but was quiet. So, slowly, I let go of him and he turned around with his eyes wide open. He was scared (and it was fucking hilarious - _not so manly now, is he?)_

"You're crazy!"

I muffled a laugh and leaned against my door again.

"Do you really wanna go down that road?"

Mike didn't answer me. Instead, he looked at Chester with a disgusted look on his face and then back at me.

"You shouldn't waste your time with him. He's garbage." 

"After your behavior tonight, I think I can decide who's the garbage here for myself, thank you for your warning," I said. I looked calm, I know, but inside I was trembling and I wanted to throw up. And as I saw that Chester was utterly silent behind Mike, I was more terrified. He was in shock, I think.

"Chester is not the kind of person you would want to hang around with, princess. You're going to destroy your life if you continue. HE-- is going to destroy your life, that's what he does to everyone around him."

"Well, that's up to me to decide, isn't it?" I asked and now I was actually becoming angry with this conversation.

Mike sighed and groaned, brushing his hair back with his hands and scratching the back of his neck in frustration.

"You're too stubborn." I rolled my eyes. "You're going to get hurt." Then he turned around to face Chester and I was ready to attack in case he tried anything. "She seems a nice girl, I've seen you with her before, at dinner. Laughing and smiling like you ain't done anything. My parents might have forgotten what you did, but I don't. And never will..."

He continued talking, but I didn't listen to him. Instead, I went back to my apartment, grabbed my phone and came back to the corridor.

"If you don't leave now, I'll call the police." I unlocked my phone and dialed 911, ready to press the call button.

Mike took a step back, ready to leave but instead of leaving, he narrowed his eyes and stared at me as the realization hit him.

"You like him, don't you?"

I gulped and looked at Chester who was listening very attentively as if he was wondering the same thing but was too afraid of the answer. But as I saw his wrecked postured, I filled my lungs with air and answered confidently.

"Yes. He's a wonderful person and never disrespected me. Are you going to leave, now?"

Mike was taken aback with my answer and was lost in words, so he just turned around and left, muttering under his breath _It's your choice, you are going to regret that._

I saw him going downstairs and heard him closing the front door, and that's when I released all the air in my lungs and looked at Chester. He had his eyes wide open, just staring at me and shaking. He didn't talk, or move - he almost didn't blink. I tried to make him move, or talk. But he didn't do anything at all.

So, instead of staying in that cold corridor, where anyone could hear us - or certainly were hearing us - I pushed him to my apartment and closed his door after retrieving his keys from inside. I guided him to my couch, put a blanket on his back and rushed to the kitchen to boil some water to make camomille tea to calm him down.

I had no idea how to talk to him, nor how to make him leave that kind of shock trance. All I was able to do was watch him as he was facing the turned off T.V. and how his shoulders were shaking. When the tea was ready, I walked to the living room area and kneeled in front of him, placing the mug in the small table on the left side of the couch.

After a moment, I thought he was asleep with his eyes open, but after I gently placed my hand on his knee and started caressing it, he spoke in a barely audible volume as his eyes stared at my hand.

"Mike's right, you should stay away."

I looked at him in the eyes, even though he wasn't looking at me. I hate this, I hate when someone tries to decide what my options should be, I hate being ordered around and not being able to make my own fucking decisions. I hate when people think they need to make those things for _my own good_.

"I am sick of people telling me what I should or shouldn't do!"

I got up, handed him the tea and walked back to the kitchen island to grab mine. Before I knew it, Chester took the blanket off of his shoulders, put the mug down and walked slowly towards me.

"Did you mean it?" He asked. "Did you mean it when you said you like me?"

"Y--yes," I stutter, swallowing hard as I felt the air between us becoming heavier and tense.

I could swear I heard my heart beating inside my chest, and I really hope he didn't acknowledge it. He was staring at me, staring at my eyes, analyzing my behavior, how I reacted to him and to his closeness. Chester was trying to stop himself, he didn't want to continue the conversation, but he wasn't in control of his emotions anymore. 

"How much?" He asked me all of a sudden. 

I had no answer for him. Instead of answering him, I turned my back on him and stirred the tea with a spoon. The air was thicker, everything around us was mute, except for the kitchen clock on the wall that was annoyingly tic-tacking and making me even more nervous. I tried to control my breathing. I tried to control my trembling hand that was having the most laborious job in shaking the goddamn tea! But I was failing and it was frustrating!

And when I felt the air shifting and heard Chester walking closer and closer, I felt the twitch in my stomach again, the freezing sensation in my legs and the knot in my throat that makes me want to faint.

"How much, Ana?" He asked again, this time louder. Or maybe it was louder because he was inches from my ear. I could feel the warmth emanating from his body and the burning sensation of his intense stare behind my neck.

I finally murmured.

"Too much."

I thought for a second that he was about to leave my apartment - and part of me wished for that, at least it would end that cutting knife tension. But he didn't. Chester's hand landed on my shoulder very gently and made me turn around to face him. I felt my face burn. I gulped harder when my eyes met his teary brown orbs, and my knees became weaker.

Chester seemed like he lost track of what he was saying, and brushed my cheek in the most tender way. Then he rested his palm on my cheek and just stared at me, millions of thoughts spinning in his head, his mind fighting his urges regarding his feelings and his ardent desires. 

"I never had anyone protecting me the way you did tonight. I never had anyone that cared enough for me as you do... Please... don't... don't l-like me that much. I don't want to hurt you. Not you..."

A tear escaped his eyes and strolled down his cheek. I managed to move my hand and gently wiped it away, brushing his pale skin.

"It's too late for that," I said under my breath. "I adore you."

His other hand landed on my other cheek, as he cupped my face and held me firmly as if he wanted me to pay attention to his words. Then, he closed his eyes, gulped, and begged in a husky and low voice.

"Please, stay away... make me stay away..." 

_Was he -- was he admitting feelings for me?_

I didn't understand what was happening, what he was trying to say. I know something happened in the past that made him close himself and he was so hurt, but why can't I just be by his side? Why can't he just let me in? I would never judge him. No matter what happened. All that matters to me is that he's my friend, I trust him, I like him more than I should, and I think about him all day and all night. And I never felt this way before. I told him about me, about who I really am and he didn't behave differently, nor took advantage of me like I was used to. He honestly cared about my problems, even though I know for sure his are much worse.

And all I wanted him to do was to let me in.

I mimicked his actions and cupped his cheeks - which took him by surprise.

"Why are you so afraid? Don't you enjoy being around me?"

"Yes -- but..." I interrupted him, closing my eyes and nodding my head. I look him in the eyes again, feeling my tears betraying me, burning in my eyes and falling down, at last.

"No buts. Yes, or no?"

"Yes..." He whispered, trying to conceal how nervous and how anxious he was. The knot in his throat was not helping. He wanted to talk, to tell me how he really feels around me, he wanted to tell me his true feelings, the appropriate and the inappropriate. But he couldn't, he simply couldn't.

"That's all that matters, for now, Chester. One step at a time, alright?"

Chester muffled a laugh, but it didn't reach the seriousness in his eyes. 

"You're a pain in the ass."

I smiled at him very weakly and nodded my head, never disrupting the way I was so lost in his eyes and how he was lost in mine. I didn't notice how hard he was breathing, nor how he started shaking as he tried to conceal his emotions inside of his overwhelmed figure. There was a silent turmoil, boiling inside his head and screaming for liberation. There was something in his eyes, telling me he was in pain, telling me he didn't need to talk anymore because he was wrecked and too overwhelmed.

He furrowed his brows as his eyes scanned every piece of skin in my face, eyes traveling from my eyes to my lips several times. I thought he was going to lean in, I really did, and God knows how much I wanted it. 

But he didn't. 

Instead, Chester leaned into my shoulder, buried his face in the crook of my neck, and sobbed. 

His hands left my face and hugged me tightly around my waist as he let out all the frustrations and all the fucked up emotions he was feeling. All he needed was to scream out loud and let his rage abandon him, but the warmth of my body and the smell of my perfume were more comforting to him. So he didn't hide anymore, he let his tears do the work for him and just sobbed, pressing my body against his as much as he could, fearing that, if he didn't, I would run away.

But I didn't.

Instead, I pulled him to me and let him use my body as comfort, silently.


	17. Rage

When I woke the next day, I took my time to process everything that happened last night. It all felt so unreal - Mike; their weird discussion; admitting to Chester my feelings for him; and how he reacted.

The question that lingered in the air was exactly about that: _what does his reaction mean?_

While I did my morning routine before going to work, I couldn't help but repeat these thoughts over and over again. It was like an obsession and I just couldn't get rid of it. When I was in the shower, I thought about how Chester looked so defeated after spending 15 minutes crying on my shoulder. He didn't want to talk or even look me in the eyes. But he also didn't want to move. So, I escorted back to his apartment and made sure he actually went to bed. It was hard to leave him like that, but I also couldn't stay with him there, right?

I made some coffee after getting dressed and leaned against the kitchen counter, looking at the kitchen island, remembering how Chester had me cornered against it last night. Something about the way he walked to me and asked me how I felt about him was so intimidating that it stills made me shiver just by thinking about it.

I don't know how, but when I was washing the coffee mug, I noticed a paper under my door.

Carefully, I picked it up, recognizing the writing as soon as I opened it.

_I am so sorry about what happened last night. You shouldn't have seen that. And I'm sorry for my behavior. I feel so safe around you that I let my emotions out. I'd like to make up to you and take you out to dinner tonight. Text me later, please._

_\-- Chester._

I smiled warmly at his note. I didn't realize how much I missed those notes.

When I left for work, I took my phone out of my purse and wrote a text message for Chester. 

_You know you can use your phone to ask me for dinner, right?_

Almost instantly I received a reply.

_I know. But the paper seemed more humble and has more meaning. _

_It has_, I replied with a smile on my face.

_I think this is the part where you tell me at what time you want me to pick you up._

_I never said yes._

I must seem like an insane woman, walking down the street, laughing by myself. Chester took his time to reply, so I imagined his taken aback expression while he read my reply. I would kill to see it. But I decided not to be so mean, and texted him back after a few minutes of silence.

_8 P.M. Should I dress up fancy or casual?_

_Casual. But anything you put on looks beautiful in you. Except for you Spongebob's pajama. _He keeps mocking my pajama. Again, what the fuck is wrong with it?

_You're walking on thin ice, Chester. Leave my pajama alone. _ I put an angry emoji at the end of the message and pressed send. It didn't mirror the reality, though. I was grinning as I arrived at Janice's flower store.

_Does it hold a sentimental value to you? _

_Did I stutter? Stop mocking my pajama, otherwise, I'll probably have something on my agenda tonight and won't be able to have dinner with you._

_Ok, I'm sorry. I won't mock you anymore. You look sexy in it, though._

_CHESTER!_

_Alright, alright! I'll stop. See you later :)_

I decided not to answer him, so I put the phone down and ignored it for the rest of the morning. I had to take Janice's truck to drive two hours only to pick up special flowers for a wedding. Janice has a huge order for tomorrow. Rich people are getting married, so they ordered one of the most expensive flowers I ever saw: Kadupul Flowers or Queen of the night.

When I was finally able to use my phone, I had two text messages.

One was from Chester.

_You're not mad, are you? We're still getting dinner, right?_

I don't know if his insecurity is cute or annoying. He has no reason to be insecure, at least not around me.

_Yes, you can calm yourself. I'll give you the honor of taking me out. So, shut up and teach your students._

The other message was from Rachel. Apparently, she and Monica are planning on visiting me the next weekend and wanted to check with me if I can. Obviously, I would cancel any plans just to be with them. I really miss those two brats. So, I called them and told them where I was really living. They couldn't believe me. Apparently, my grandmother said that she had no idea where I was, and all of the family believed in her.

I had to laugh at that - I love my Nanny.

***

Chester chose a simple restaurant, just as I like it. Chester is a very mysterious and unusual man, but there's one thing that surprises me in him: he is observant. Just by looking and analyzing me, he knows exactly what I'm into or not. That's why he took me to a small diner just outside Phoenix. 

The ride was longer than usual, 35 minutes to be more precise, and we had to go throughout the forest. It was dark and a little scary. Imagine a road that ascends through some mountains, with no signs of civilization. I even asked him if he intended me to take me to the dark woods and kill me, but soon after he parked his car at the top of a hill, where a lonely, but lovely dinner could be seen.

We entered and took a seat near the window, with an amazing view of the town. And after a few moments of silence, contemplating that view, Chester had the courage to open his mouth.

"Are you still mad at me?"

I looked at him but had to look away again. His bright brown eyes were watching me. He had this innocent gaze that turned my stomach around.

"No -- I don't think so," I admitted. "But I should be. Not only because of how you treated me when Rene visited you, but also because of how you behaved in the bar. And we need to talk about what happened yesterday."

"I'm so--"

"Don't. Don't say that again. Just... Promise me that you'll never do that again. Don't take me out if you're going to drink like that again."

"I won't. I promise you, Ana." I looked at his eyes again, but this time he was the one to look away. "I... I stopped drinking 7 years ago. Never again I touched alcohol, but that night I just needed it... I really needed something to anesthetize me inside."

"Why?"

Chester looked at me and I knew. He didn't want to talk about it.

So, thank God, the waitress brought us our food and ended that awkwardness. There's not really much to say about dinner. We ate, we talked, I told him about my childhood and how crazy in love I am with dogs. It all started when he told me about Bucky, Chester's dog that he no longer see because of his distance from his family.

"When I was about 4 or 5 years old, my family was having a snack in the front yard and suddenly Louis, our gateman, showed up panting with me in his arms, his face pale as a wall. Apparently, someone found me in the street, alone, running after a stray dog to give him food that I stole from my family party."

"Wow, that is not love, that's an obsession," Chester joked.

"Yeah..." I laughed. "Another time I stole chorizo from the kitchen and gave to several stray dogs that were abandoned in front of our house. The worst thing was that the chorizos were supposed to be part of the dinner that night. I was grounded for days."

"You're a rebel since you were a little girl."

"I can proudly say I am. What about you? Tell me something about your childhood."

"UH -- I don't know. I don't remember much. I know that I would sneak into my parent's bedroom when they were asleep and got in their bed. They only noticed my presence in the morning."

"Why? Were you afraid of being in the dark?"

"Yes," he laughed. "Some friends of mine that I used to ride my bike with, told this scary story about some kind of boogeyman and for years I was afraid of sleeping alone." We both laughed. I imagined how Chester was when he was younger. He 

"How did you overcome your fear?"

Chester was quiet for a minute, pondering if he should speak or not, but he ended up answering anyway.

"Well, my parents got divorced and I moved out with my dad, so... I kinda had to overcome. I couldn't sneak into his bedroom anymore and risk to catch him with a random hooker. So... Yeah -- that's how I overcame it."

"I'm sorry for asking."

"It's ok," he smiled faintly, but I couldn't help but feel guilty for prying too much. I just want to know him better, and I forget how hard his past is. Chester sensed how I was punishing myself mentally and took the courage to grab my hand that was resting on the table and gave it a squeeze. "Really, it's fine," he assured me.

The rest of the dinner was amicable and the more I know about Chester, the more I feel intrigued about his past, but, at the same time, I like him even more. It's not fair for him to have the only person he wants to trust to develop feelings for him, but I can't help it. It's getting worse, and it's harder to hide it now that he's aware of them.

We arrived at our building around midnight and immediately said our goodbyes. 

I lay in my bed, silently watching the dim ceiling of my bedroom. Not once we talked about what happened last night. We didn't talk about Mike, or about my feelings for him. Chester didn't even seem strange to me. It was as if nothing happened. Which bothered me even more.

And for the next days, he acted like that.

He would knock on my door after dinner just to hang around, to watch a movie on Netflix, or just to have some company. And I wasn't dealing with his posture. It was a big deal. 

So, Friday night I planned all day how to confront him about it. I made lots of speeches in my head about how to start the conversation, but when it was the time to talk about it, I chickened out and bit my lip. Chester was showing me some videos of one of his best students singing and dancing. It was really beautiful, but my mind was always drifting away, and I zoomed out several times.

"Alright, what is it?" He said after asking me the same question twice. "You're acting strange."

_Strange? I'm acting strange? What a stupid thing to say._

"It's just... Something that I've been thinking about lately."

"What is it?" He turned his body to me, facing me with his shiny doe-eyes, while he was sitting under his legs on my couch.

"It's... Uh -- it's about -- the other night, about that guy - Mike."

I noticed how his body tensed up as I mentioned that night. He moved uncomfortably in his seat and diverted his look to a random point in the floor. And after a few moments of silence, he got up and walked to the other side of the living room, his hands pushing his hair back in despair. 

"I rather not talk about it," he ended up saying.

"We should, though," I whispered and he just nodded.

"I know. But not right now."

"Ok," I said, even though I wasn't satisfied with his answer. I stood up for him and made Mike go away and he doesn't even talk about it or say thank you. It's not like I was expecting him to tell me everything that happened. But at least we should talk about it -- I need to know that Mike is not dangerous and that he's safe.

But soon after, Chester went back to his apartment with a few more words spoken. And the next day he didn't even show up for our usual weekend breakfast.

***

Around 2 P.M., my bell rang. My two sisters were grinning at me on the other side of the peephole and as soon as I opened up the door, they squeezed me hard in their arms and the three of us stood there on my doorstep.

"You cut your hair!" Monica said.

"It looks amazing on you," Rachel agreed.

"Thank you! And you two loose weight, didn't you?" I said, knowing that they are obsessed with it. Both of them gasped.

"It's noticeable?"

"Absolutely!" I little lie couldn't hurt anyone. "Come on in, I'll show you Nanna's house and where you're going to sleep."

I showed them the apartment -- which they thought it was small compared to what they were used to but was really _cool, a mix of modern and vintage design, _according to Monica- and after that, I decided to show them Phoenix. We went to the park and the lake; I introduced them to Janice; I showed them the Muffin's store where they cheated on their diet (several times).

When we went back to my apartment, I cooked for them to show them how well I cooked. They didn't believe that I was capable of doing more than just a sandwich, but when I placed the dinner on the table, they widened their eyes as they felt its flavor.

"Wow, you really learned how to cook. How did you do that?" Monica asked.

"I rolled up my sleeves and got my hands dirty. I tried several times until I learned, but it was worth in the end," I said, showing them some apps on my smartphone. Monica and Rachel always use their phones for everything, so this was interesting to them.

"Mom would freak out," Rachel laughed. "She's always against us doing anything back home like we would break if we did."

"Speaking of which, how did you manage to come here?"

They looked at each other with accomplice looks in their faces and smiled at me.

"She thinks we're in Puerto Rico..." Monica said.

"... with rich friends," Rachel finished.

"Wow, I started a rebellion. You're lying to mom, now? I'm proud."

"She wouldn't let us come if we told her, or she might just send someone after us to know where you're living."

"Yeah, she might do just that. But don't you th --" I was interrupted with my bell ringing.

I got up from the small table near the window and walked to the door. After looking through the peephole, my heart skipped a beat as my eyes landed on Chester. He had his hands in his pockets, a hood covering his head and he smiled at the door when I opened it. Trying not to let my sisters see him, I opened the door just a little.

Chester narrowed his eyes at my behavior but didn't ask to come in.

"Hey," he said, not giving me a chance to speak. "I'm just here to apologize for yesterday. I know you deserve much more, but... you know --"

"Yeah, I know..." I whispered, knowing exactly what he meant.

"Anyway, I see you're busy. I won't bother you. I --" He took his hand from his pocket and handed me a keychain. I raised my hand and smiled when I saw a little Mjolnir - Thor's hammer. "It's just a little souvenir to apologize."

"Thank you," I said. 

"Well, I - uh - I'll go now. Bye," he said with an awkward expression on his face. He knew I had someone in my house that I didn't want him to see. He heard movement and noise behind my door. And for a moment, there was a pinch of jealousy in his heart. But who was he to feel that way? The last time he felt like that, it turned out that I had my grandmother with me. So, he shouldn't feel that way.

Since I didn't get the opportunity to tell him who was there with me, I turned around and went back to the apartment. I jumped back when I saw that Rachel and Monica were no longer where I let them, but behind my door. What scared me the most were their smiles. 

"Who was that?" They asked in unison.

"Just -- my neighbor."

"Just your neighbor? Monica, do random neighbors give gifts to other neighbors?" Rachel asked with a mocking tone.

"No, I don't think so, Rachel," Monica looked at me. "Spit it out, who is he?"

"He's Chester," I said and Rachel gasped.

"Chester? THE Chester? Your "_just a neighbor friend_ " that you told me about?" 

"Oh --" Monica connected the dots to a previous phone conversation we had a few days ago.

"Yes, but could you stop? We're just friends. Nothing is going on, or ever will -- I think."

I walked away from them, entering my bedroom. First of all, I was feeling my face red as a pepper; and second, I wanted to get dressed properly because I was going to take Monica and Rachel to a bar. They need to know how a normal bar is, instead of those fancy, VIPs and fake bullshits they are used to.

While I was changing from sportswear to casual clothes, I heard my sisters in the guest's room getting ready and yelling some shits about me being in love with Chester and not wanting to admit that. Alright, they are kinda right, but I can't admit it to them, can I?

I had to restrain myself all night, otherwise, I would certainly give them two pairs of slaps in those two artificially painted faces. They can be so vexatious sometimes. I also had to babysit them while they were fascinated by the wayward life in bars that normal people go to. I knew they would like it, but I thought they could act like two civilized beings, not savages who never saw a glass of alcohol.

Although it was hard to put up with them two days in a row, when they left Sunday night, it was even harder to be alone again. Even though I feel that I don't fit in their world, I miss my home and my family. Nothing that happens will change that. Despite the fact that my family is not having the best time at the moment, we love each other. 

The only problem is that you also need to demonstrate it.

***

Monday mornings are the worst. It's not that I don't like what I do, it's just that I hate Mondays. But that day was special though. After work, I would go to the local university, where Chester works and have a reunion about the Psychology course. The reunion was all about how much it costs to study, what do I need for my application, and for the classes; how many years is the course; how can I combine study and work; among other things.

The woman that I had the meeting was named Carolina and was the head of the Psychology Department. She showed me around and even introduced me to some of the actual teachers.

I must say that when I left the university building I was pretty convinced to apply. It's something that I have always been interested in and I really wanted to help people.

The first thing I did was take my phone out of my purse to call Chester. I knew that his classes were already finished by the time I got out, but I hoped he was still in there. But when I took the phone in my hands, it started ringing, and it was my mother.

There was a chill down my spine. I wondered if anything happened, or if she just misses me. Nothing prepared for what came next.

"Hello?" I held the phone in my year.

_Hello? That's all you have to say?_ She had a pissed off tone in her voice and I knew for sure that she called to yell, for whatever reason. I regretted immediately picking up the phone.

"What do you want?"

_I want you to grown-up, Ana. Stop that tantrum and come home. I already proved your point. _

"I am not going back home, mom." My hands were shaking and I decided to start walking back home, forgetting that I wanted to call Chester before.

_Yes, you will! Even if that's the last thing I do! Why did you talk to your sisters and didn't call me? Uh? I was terribly worried about you! And you don't even care. I almost had a nervous breakdown because of your childish behavior._

"My childish behavior? You neglected your children's existence for years and you complain because I want to get away from that? That's amazing, mom. Really. That's why you called me?"

_If you're not coming back home, you won't see your sisters again! I'll forbid them! _

"They are adults, you know that, don't you? You can't forbid them."

_I do whatever I want!_

"Yeah, I know. That's why I left. Because you did whatever you wanted with my life! Even setting me up with a guy because of money. Selling your own daughter. And you talk about my behavior." I had no more control over my tears, nor over my rage. I was mad, so fucking mad with her. She didn't learn at all. And even made things worse by calling me.

_They lied to me because they wanted to go to you. And they said your life was more interesting. For God's sake, they have everything here! _

"Except for their lives," I hissed.

There was silence on the other side of the line. It took her some time to speak again, now in a low and defeated voice.

_All I wanted was to see you. _

"And I was planning on going home. But after your wonderful conversation, I -- I just don't feel like it anymore... You ruined everything, again."

_Please, don't say that. Come home, Ana. Come home..._

I took a deep breath, trying to calm down my racing heart. I even felt dizzy because of how overwhelming that moment was. She calls me, yells at me and expects me to go back? Just like that? I can't. I can't go back to that prison. But it is the home where I grew up. It is where all my family is at the moment. And I miss the moments in my bedroom, lost in my books, my music, and my movies. It was like my own world.

"I don't know. I'll think about it." I ended up saying, giving her new hope. I heard her sigh in relief because she knows her daughter very well.

_We'll be waiting for you. _

"I have to go now. Bye."

I said my goodbyes in the strongest tone possible, but as soon as I pressed the red button, I buried my face in my hands and sobbed in the middle of the street. I looked around for support and ended up sitting in the stairs of a building. I was near my block, but couldn't wait to get home. So I just sat there for 20 minutes, crying and thinking about the conversation.

How did I end up in this situation? I have no idea. And I'm sure there are problems much worse than mine, but I couldn't help but cry. I couldn't stop those feelings and those thoughts.

Eventually, I got up and walked slowly back home, hugging myself and stroking both my upper arms. I didn't even notice that when I was turning around the corner of my street, I bumped against someone that stopped immediately in front of me.

"I'm sorry --" I said to the person I bumped into.

Only when I felt two arms reached for my shoulders and two brown eyes filled with concern staring at me, I recognized my unusual neighbor.

"Ana? What's wrong?"

I nodded my head, looking down in an attempt to conceal my teary eyes. I know it was futile, but anything was better than watching his doe-eyes seeking an answer in my dark orbs. It was like they were a gate to my soul, and Chester was trying to open it.

He cupped my cheeks and forced me to look at him.

"What happened? Did anyone hurt you?"

"No..." I sobbed. "I just need to go home."

"Sure," Chester said, pulling me to his arms while he turned around to escort me.

"No," I said. "Alone."

He looked at me confused. I was refusing his presence, something that I never did before. But I have every right to do it. He doesn't tell me anything about his problems, so why should I? 

I was too mad and too sad to even look at him when I started walking back home, hugging myself again. Chester stood there watching me leave, without knowing what to do. His heart broke watching the woman that has been changing his life for the better in just two months walking away in tears. It almost didn't look the same woman that always greets him with a smile on her lips and a gleam in her eyes. The same woman that makes him feel alive.

For a moment, while he saw me opening the front door of our building, he thought that he was the reason that I was crying for. But he didn't remember what the reason was. He said bad things two weeks ago, but everything was alright. At least that's the impression I gave him after our dinner on the other night.

Something actually clicked inside of him.

He was feeling powerless and useless as he watched me cry. It was the worst thing he ever saw in his life -- and he did see awful things in his past. And he thought that maybe that's how I feel every time I see him sad, broken, empty. 

Chester even realized that the way he acts around me makes me feel like there's nothing I can do to help him. But there's this voice in the back of his mind that has been telling him that there's probably something that I can do.


	18. Opening up a little more

There are those days when all you want is to have a lot to do at work so you can distract yourself from your problems. Today was one of those days. But, unfortunately, life decided otherwise, and I was bored to death.

I confided with Janice about my situation with my family, and she said that I should find my parents and talk to them. She thinks I should go back home to meet them and express how I'm really feeling. Maybe she's right. It's been too long and we should solve this once and for all.

She even told me to take the day off, but I refused, going back home at the usual hour.

When I climb the last inside my apartment building, I saw a figure sitting on the floor in front of my door. I smiled at the view. He was fidgeting with his fingers with a bag of muffins by his side. It's been too long since we last ate muffins together.

"Hi," Chester said as soon as he noticed my presence.

"Hey, there," I said casually, walking to my door.

He immediately stood up and showed me the bag.

"Do you want to have coffee or tea? In my apartment?"

His question surprised me. Even after cleaning his apartment and having dinner with him, we always meet up at my house. I think it's the of habit, really, but still, I was surprised by his invitation. Chester sensed that I was taken aback and smiled.

"I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. You've always been here for me and most of the times I act like an asshole. I'd like to change that, starting now."

Chester opened the door for me in silence and I walked in, immediately walking to his couch. It's such a pleasure to see that he kept his apartment clean and tidy after our cleaning session. He was actually taking care of his house. There were no more pills spread throughout the living room, the dishes were clean and in its proper places, and it even smelled like fresh pine. 

I leaned back on the couch as he locked his door and put water in the boiler. He asked me if I preferred tea or coffee and soon after he had our snack ready.

"Thank you," I said when he handed me my mug. He sat by my side and looked at me. "Why did you say those things in the corridor?"

"I don't know... I guess I have been an asshole to you, treating you like shit. I know you want to help me and mean no harm. It's just that I've been so close all my life and, then, you happened, and -- well, I feel like there's something changing in me."

My expression melted and I pressed my brows together hearing his humble words. I couldn't help but let a tear stroll down my cheek.

"And when I saw you crying yesterday, I felt useless. I couldn't do anything to comfort you. And you already did so much for me that I felt bad for pushing you away," he exhaled a lot of air trapped in his lungs. I presume that his speech was more than trained in front of a mirror -- not only because he was nervous as fuck, but also because it's the first time I hear him sharing his feelings without me asking for it. It's just a casual conversation, and he's being spontaneous. I liked it.

"I'm sorry, I ran away from you yesterday and --" 

"No, you don't have to apologize, Ana. Whoever made you cry like that should be the one apologizing."

I muffled a laugh in my throat and let my body fall back in the couch. For a while, I stared at the ceiling, rethinking about my life. Analyzing my situation.

"My mom called me yesterday," I said and I could feel Chester's worry. He tensed up and put his mug down on the wooden table in front of us, turning his body on the couch so he could look at me while I talked.

"What happened?"

"Surprise, surprise: we argued. A lot. She was pissed off because of Rachel and Monica's visit in the last weekend. She ordered me to go home," I almost laughed, but I didn't make a sound. Instead, the tears just didn't stop falling. "Otherwise, she would forbid my sisters to visit me again. She said other stupid things that made me so, so mad... And... When I got enough of her shit and said that I wouldn't go back, she calmed down and whined about how she really wants me back and how much she misses me."

"Damn," I heard him whispering.

"Yeah... She's that manipulative."

There was a long moment of silence and I continued staring at the ceiling.

"I know exactly how you feel after that discussion. I know what it feels like to hear your own parents saying hurtful things that no parent should say to their children."

"Is that why you don't talk to them?" I asked, hoping that he didn't stop talking just because I asked personal questions about his past. But to my surprise, he didn't.

"Yes... Something happened and everyone blamed me for it. Well, except for Rene. But the rest of my family, my brothers and my parents, they all pointed their fingers at me. My mom turned against me, but my father simply didn't want to bother. At least he didn't blame -- that's something." Chester muffled a laugh. "Anyway, when it was known that it wasn't my fault, they tried to make amends with me."

"Why didn't you?" I looked at him and he diverted his look to a point in the living room.

"Because I was young and reckless, and I was hurt and furious. And I resented them for what they told me. There are no words in the world that can make me forget those horrible things they told me. I tried to, but I can't."

"What about now? You're older, more mature. Maybe you could start by forgiving them," I bit my lip. You never know what you can say to him or not; what will make him snap or not. "Don't they try to talk to you now?"

"They tried. And Rene talks about how they want to. But every time I look in their eyes, I remember their words and all the punishments and beatings I received. All because they wanted to believe in what other people said instead of their own son." 

Even though Chester was staring at the other side of the living room, I noticed how sniffling he sounded and I was sure he was crying. I hate that sound, it breaks me inside.

"What about your brothers? And your sister? They didn't help you?" 

"My sister tried. She even got punished for doing it. My brothers were against me in the beginning, but when I told them the truth, they believed in me. But in the end, they didn't want to be against our parents. Nor they wanted to get punished by it. So they just watched everything in quiet. Eventually, I had enough and ran away, never to come back."

I put a hand on his knee and it caught his attention. He looked at me, showing me his teary eyes. I smiled weakly at him in a way to show him my support and he did the same.

"Do you want it though?" I asked and he furrowed his brows. "To make amends with them?"

Chester didn't answer. He stared at me, trying to find the answer in his mind.

"Because someday something might happen to them. And then, you won't be able to forgive them. The worst part is that you would have to live with those resentment feelings inside you for the rest of your life."

"I --" Chester whispered, his voice was too weak to be audible. "I never thought that way. But I don't think that things will ever be the same."

"They won't. But at least you could start from zero." He nodded his head, signaling that he accepted my opinion and would be thinking about it. I grabbed his hand this time and pulled it to my lap. "I'd like to do something for you, to help you achieve peace with yourself and with your family."

Chester started laughing and I moved uncomfortably in my seat, narrowing my eyes at his behavior. This man must be bipolar. He must be.

"One moment ago you were dissolving in tears, and now you're worried about reestablishing my relationship with my parents. There's clearly something wrong with you."

I laughed, acknowledging the reality of his words.

"You're right, and we need to change the subject. But, I really need to ask you something, and I promise I won't try to pry further." Chester nodded his head for me to proceed. "That thing that happened the other night with that guy Mike, is the same reason you're not talking with your family?"

Chester bit his lips but nodded his head in confirmation.

"Mike... He's been following me for years. I keep moving from city to city, but he always ends up finding me. So I stopped hiding and came back to Phoenix."

"Came back? You're from here?"

"Yes, I was born and grew up here. This is where I'm from."

"I didn't know that," I smiled. "But if I see that man near my door again, I don't know what I would do." Chester laughed nervously. "I'm serious."

"Let's talk about something else."

"Alright... What about how proud I am of you for keeping your apartment amazingly tidy? It doesn't look like your lair anymore, right?"

Chester looked around him and smiled, muttering under his breath.

"No... Not at all. I enjoy it even more now. Thanks to you." He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. "I -- I hated to bring people here. I never had any visitors since I live here. Only Rene entered in here and only because she forced her way in."

"So, I'm an exception?" I joked and he became serious.

"You are. Special people deserve different treatments. And since you're always here for me, I thought that maybe it was the best I could do, allowing you to enter in this personal space of mine."

"Thank you," I smiled.

"No, thank you, Ana.


	19. Unpleasant encounters that got you thinking

On my way home, after a long day of work, I decided to stop by my favorite Muffin's store. It's been too long since I've actually been here. Lately, Chester is the one that comes here and buys them - well, maybe because he is always fucking things up and uses the muffins as a way to apologize. Not that I complain, but I would like him to buy them for me just because he wants to and not just as bribery.

Things with Chester have been developing slowly and - I might even say - in a good way. 

He is trying, I know he is. He wants to share his secrets with me, but something stops him every time we talk about the matter. I guess I'll just have to be patient.

I was lost in my thoughts when I left the store that I didn't even notice that someone was walking behind me, whispering my name. Whenever I walk on the street, thinking about my own stuff, even the pope could say hi to me that I wouldn't notice. There have been several times when I was walking and someone I know stopped in front of me to greet me; I walked around the person without even noticing and go away. People usually ask me if I am mad at them when, in fact, I'm just distracted.

Eventually, the man that called my name rushed behind and reached my side. I finally noticed and looked at him.

_Mike._

"What do you want? Want me to kick your ass again?" I said not even bothering to stop to talk to him. He followed me anyway with a smile on his lips.

"You didn't kick my ass. I let you do that."

"Yeah, whatever." 

Mike didn't give up and I wasn't sure what the fuck he wanted from me. I don't even know him, and the only time I spoke to him I threatened to call the police, so I had no idea what the hell he intended.

"Hey," he stopped me by grabbing my arm. I shove it away from his grip and looked him with enraged eyes. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened the other night. You have nothing to do with it and I shouldn't have treated you that way. You seem like a nice girl. At least, that's what the girl in the Muffin's store say."

I narrowed my eyes at him and asked him if he was following me around. Mike started laughing. He wasn't being unpolite like he was nights ago, he was actually being friendly. But I was still uneased around him.

"Relax. No, I am not following you around. I saw you here a few weeks ago with Chester, and then I came here several times and saw you here. So I guessed you're a loyal customer and asked about you."

"Why? Are you a stalker?"

Mike laughed again and nodded his head.

"No, not at all."

"That's what looks like," I crossed my arms in front of my chest and supported the weight of my body in one leg, looking at him in a judgmental way. "You're following Chester. Why is that?"

He grinned.

"Ya see? Chester and I and a bunch of other guys were best friends once, a long time ago. And I thought that he was a good person, but it turns out that I was wrong."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"I don't know what happened between you two, but you should stay away and get a life. You're being stupid. Haven't you seen what he is becoming because of you? "

"Becoming what? A poor thing? Don't pity him. He didn't pity me or my family. And I know he hasn't told you what happened. He knows that when he tells you, you'll break up with him."

"We're not dating."

"Yeah, but you want it," he smirked and I just stood there, facing him with no answer for him. I knew he caught me. I knew he could see how much I care for Chester more than a friend is supposed to, and he is using that against me. "You don't want to be caught in the middle of this mess. If you want a good life, stay away. Run while you can."

"Why do you think I would listen to you?" He grinned even more. "Besides, I don't run away from problems that easily."

"I can see that," he eyed me from above, crossing his muscular arms against his chest. "But at least I warned you of the dangers attached to Chester."

"Dangers? You seem more dangerous than Chester."

"Not everything is what it seems"

" If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then probably it is a duck."

Mike started laughing, uncrossing his arms as his hands started looking for his car keys in his pockets. I noticed his movement and thanked God that he was preparing to leave me alone.

"You're a funny girl. It's a shame that I didn't meet you in another situation." Then he turned around and walked away.

And as I watched him disappear in his grey car with a smirk on his lips, I couldn't help but think about every word Mike said. This is getting more confusing by the minute, and part of me is actually getting worried about what this big horrible secret might be. Chester doesn't talk to his family; he had best friends that he doesn't see anymore and one of them is actually stalking him and harassing him.

I was worried that Mike could turn into an aggressive mode, I mean, I don't even know him.

After our conversation, it seemed to me like he is a nice guy, but holds some kind of grudge against Chester. But if Chester said that whatever happened was proved that it wasn't his fault, why would Mike keep going after him? What could have possibly happened that made Mike and Chester like this?

Even after arriving at my apartment, I was processing everything, everything that I know, everything that Chester told me and the conversation with Mike. I know I should tell Chester about it, but he would be unnecessarily worried - nothing really happened, we just talked.

Besides, it's not like he tells me everything too, right?


	20. So close, yet so far

There was a soft knock on my door. I looked back from the couch to the kitchen clock and it was midnight already. 

I furrowed my brows but got up.

My heart stopped the moment my eyes landed on the figure on the outside of the peephole.

_Chester_.

He had his eyes puffy and red from crying.

I opened the door immediately and I was about to ask if someone had hurt him, but when his teary brown orbs found mine, it was like suddenly I didn't know how to speak. I signaled him to come in, looked to each side of the dark corridor - just for safety - and closed the door behind him.

My hand landed on his shoulder so that I could guide him to the couch, but I was taken aback by how much he was trembling.

I just gulped and took him to the couch anyway. He looked like he was in shock - his eyes were widened, staring at the floor. And all I wanted to do is to hug him, to comfort him. But I knew that I had to be patient with him.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked softly. The last thing I want to do is to startle him.

"No," he rustled without looking at me.

I sighed and sat by his side slowly, placing a pillow on my lap. Then I reached for his shoulders and delicately pushed him down so his head could rest on my lap. Chester didn't resist or protest. He let his body fall but flinched when my hand settled softly on his head. Then, he just closed his eyes and felt my hand carefully and tenderly stroking his face and his hair.

My fingers wiped his tears and barely stroked his cheek. I don't know what happened, but I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. I never thought I would feel this way, though - I wanted to take his pain away and endure it myself. Whatever it is, he didn't deserve it. I was sure of it.

If I could, I would just lay my body on the couch, turn Chester to me and embrace him forever. But it would be too much for him. Even for me.

So I did just that: sat silently on my couch; Chester's head resting on the pillow, on my lap; my hand stroking him in the most tender way.

My mind traveled a lot during that time. I had millions of questions for him, but I knew it wasn't my place to ask him. He needed someone at that moment and he thought about me. All I wanted to do was show him that he can always come to me.

And as time passed, I noticed how he fell asleep. I took the opportunity to analyze his features - _and how beautiful he is_. He is pale, his eyes had dark circles under them, but he is still the most beautiful man I've ever seen. God knows how much my heart and my head malfunction every time he is nearby, or whenever I hear his sweet voice, or see his baffling eyes. Seeing him like that, peacefully asleep on my lap, made me feel that's where he belongs, where he should always be.

That night, he was a mess. His clothes were baggy and dark, but still, my only thought was how gorgeous he is. That's a man that doesn't need much to shine. His presence itself makes my heart twitch and that's becoming more frequent. I try hard to conceal how much I like him, knowing that there's no way he can like me back. But even though he knows that I feel something more than I should for him, he doesn't point a finger at me or pushes me away. 

No... He keeps coming back.

He stirred in his sleep and furrowed his brows as his eyes suddenly started blinking. Chester took his time to remember where he was and why he was there, and when he did, he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," I said smiling at him.

Chester rubbed his eyes, moaning softly. He sat straight on the couch and looked at me.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Uh --" I looked at the clock and it was 4 A.M. "Almost 4 hours."

His eyes widened.

"I'm so -- so sorry," he said. "I -- Fuck! I had a nightmare and a panic attack. You were the first person I've thought and before I knew it, I was knocking on your door. I'm so--"

"Hey," I brushed his hair in a gentle way and smiled. "It's ok. Besides, you don't snore, it was no big deal."

He chuckled lightly, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Yes, it was. At least to me. 4 hours is the longest I've slept in... a long time," I gasped. I didn't know he had much trouble sleeping. I mean, sure, he always has dark circles under his eyes, but I never really thought about that. He turned his body to me, interrupting my thoughts. "You... you're good to me... You make me feel better."

I was taken aback with his confession and my whole body was shaking.

"That's... That's good. You can come and sleep with me whenever you want. I -- I mean -- Uh, not that way. I --"

I didn't realize what I said until I hear myself. I felt so embarrassed and my face was red like a pepper. 

Chester just laughed, finding my behavior cute and funny at the same time. His hands settled on each side of my face, cupping my cheeks while his laugh ceased and only a smile prevailed on his lips.

"God, you're so perfect," he muttered under his breath. Time stopped as he got closer to me with his irregular breathing.

"I am not. I'm a pain in the ass, remember?" That was all I managed to say. He smiled even more.

"How couldn't I? My favorite pain in the ass." He approached me a little more so that I could feel his breath on my face.

"Should I be offended?"

"Not at all."

Chester's doe-eyes traveled from my eyes to my lips and stopped there. Then, they traveled further down, to my exposed skin on my neck and chest, and looked up to my eyes again. I gulped as he closed his eyes. I could feel the heat from his body - he was so close. My heart was beating faster and it was hard for me to breathe properly. At the same time, his hands slid back from my face to the back of my head and he intertwined his fingers with my hair.

When his eyes opened again, they were dark -- like really black and not dark brown.

His brows furrowed and he narrowed his eyes. Then, he licked his lips, biting the lower lip and pulled away from me.

I actually exhaled in frustration at that moment.

"What is it?" I whispered.

Chester nodded his head and pulled away even further on the couch.

I was not going to let him go. Not tonight.

So, I approached him. Glued my body to his, side by side, took his hands in mine and placed them back to my face. Chester didn't look at me, he just closed his eyes in order to stop himself. That's what he was trying to do - stop himself. He knew how far he wanted to go. He knew what he so desired to do. But I didn't deserve any of what he had to offer. I deserve to be with someone better and not someone fucked up like him. And he deserved nothing but his depressive life and certainly not a perfect woman like me. And most importantly, he didn't want to hurt me. Not me. 

But I was there, waiting for him, and he knew that.

That's why he didn't let himself go.

"Hey, it's just me... Don't hide from me anymore. Tell me, please. What is it?"

"I -- I shouldn't... It's... it's stupid..." Chester tried to take his hands from my face, but I didn't let him. I called his name softly, and he finally looked at me in the eyes, his worried expression melting instantly.

"Chester, please tell me. It's just me..." I let go of his hands and cupped his cheeks. He needed to feel the comfort I could give him if he let me.

"I... like you." He swallowed hard. "I really -- really -- like you, Ana."

"You do?" I barely spoke loud enough to be heard, and for the time he took to answer, I really thought he didn't hear me. He nodded, afraid of what I might say next. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down my racing heart that was giving me a lot of trouble whenever I'm around Chester and asked him one more question. "How much?"

"Too much." He whispered, getting closer to me, his breathing getting heavier and heavier, mimicking mine. 

He leaned his head to me, and I could feel his warm breath on my skin again, which provoked shivers up my spine, a weight in the depths of my stomach, a knot on my throat and a light feeling in my head. I licked my lips, too anxious about what was happening.

I like him. I like him so much. I didn't know what this meant at the time, but I have strong feelings for him -- something that I never felt before.

His nose touched mine, stroking it so gently, giving me time to push him away. He was praying that I push him away, otherwise, God help him. But I didn't push him away. Instead, I dragged my body on the couch to be even closer (if that's even possible) and leaned my head to the side to allow him to connect his lips with mine.

When my answering machine interrupted the silence in my living room, none of us moved. Our lips were so closed to each other, almost touching. But they didn't touch. They just lingered there as our ears focused their attention on the machine.

_"You have one incoming message."_

"_Hi_," It was Peter Grantt. At fucking 4 in the morning!!! He was panting like he was out of breath, or anxious, or drunk. His words didn't even make any sense. "_I need to see you. It's... it's urgent! I need to talk to someone, and the only person I thought is you. I need to talk about my feelings. I'm sorry for calling at this time of the night. I'm leaving a party and... something happened. And I just now realized that I'm feeling something I never felt before. Call me when you hear this, please. I really need you._"

Chester pulled away from me, his face pale as if all his blood ran away from his body. He knew who Peter was and hearing his voice saying those words left him with so many feelings that he didn't know how to deal with them. He got up from the couch immediately and walked to the door.

I didn't even know what was happening, it was all so fast. One moment, we were about to kiss; then Peter's message; then, Chester's lips were again far away from mine and he simply disappeared from my apartment, slamming my door behind him.

And all I did was stay there, looking at the closed white wooden door, still feeling his breath on my skin.


	21. Back to the origins

It was time. 

In the back of my mind, there was this voice that was encouraging me to do it. And as I obliged, I couldn't help but feel anxious about it. 

Chester's last encounter was enough to make my emotions seethe, and all I could think about was how he stormed out of my apartment, anger clearly plastered all over his face and how I neglected my family for almost two months. How was I able to do that? I don't know. Was it too much? Probably, but if you met my family you would know how toxic it was becoming.

And all of those emotions were messing me up. 

I couldn't handle it anymore. So I packed a small bag, got on my car, and drove back home without thinking twice.

Sometimes I noticed how hard I was gripping the steering wheel. My knuckles were white. And I often had to take a few deep breaths to calm down my racing heart.

One hour later, I saw the mansion I used to live in. So many memories flashed through my mind.

_Suddenly, I saw my two little sisters playing hide and seek in the gardens, as I read a book under a tree and kept an eye on them. I heard Rachel scream and before I knew it, Monica was yelling for help. Rachel fell off a tree and broke her right arm.   
_

_"It hurts so much!" She cried. "Don't tell mom, please."_

_"Rachel, your arm is probably broken. You have to go to the hospital." I told her._

_"But she's gonna freak out! Then, I'll have to tell her how I fell and she hates when we play like this on the trees! She doesn't have the patience to these kinds of savage games, according to her." She said, tears rolling down her cheek as I took her in my arms. "Sometimes I'm afraid of her."_

_"Oh, Rachel..." I know how she feels, but she has no reason to feel that way. "You need to have patience and be brave. I bet she's going to be worried about you. Don't worry."_

_"Yeah, like you don't know how mom is," Monica said, all of her body shaking._

_I took a deep breath and looked at them both, stopping my walk._

_"Alright, I want you to listen to me, and very carefully. This will help you through your life, and no matter what mom says, you need to remember this: pain makes you stronger; fear makes you braver; and patience makes you wiser. It's ok to feel the pain and to be afraid, but you can be patient and strong, and have courage. Only then you can face anything. Even mom when she's in devil mode." They both laugh, wiping the tears away of their faces as our mother rushed to our side, worried about Rachel._

As I approached the main entrance, Louis, the gateman held his hand in the air, recognizing my car immediately.

"Good to see you again, Ana. The house has never been the same without you."

"Hi, Louis. I'm just for a quick visit, I don't think I'll stick around. Let's see how this will end."

"Good luck," he said, opening the gates for me.

Before leaving Phoenix, I texted my grandmother and my sisters so that they wouldn't be surprised when they saw me there. It was almost sunset, but there was still light outside. I looked at the car clock before turning it down - it was dinner time.

Slowly, I opened the door and exited the car, taking in every piece of that huge mansion. I can't believe it's been two months since I left. It didn't change one bit and a lot changed for me. My life, my dreams, my heart... I realized how two months can change so much without us noticing.

I walked to the main door with the key in my hand but didn't know if I should just walk in, ring the bell, knock the door or just turn around and run away. I decided to knock. Probably the butler would open the door, but I didn't mind. All I wanted was someone to open the door for me. It wouldn't be nice if I walked in on everyone having dinner _"Hey there family, how's it going?"_

As I was slapping me mentally, the door was opened by my own father, who froze as soon as he laid his eyes on me. 

At first, I thought he was going to yell at me or close the door in my face. But then I felt his two strong arms pushing me to him, embracing me into a tight and warm hug.

"My baby girl! I missed you so much!"

"Hi, dad..." Tears were threatening to fall down as I felt overwhelmed by his reaction. This was just lovely. "I missed you too."

"I'm so happy to see you." He pushed me away from him a little, grabbing me by my shoulder to look at me. "How are you??? Is everything alright? Do you have money, food, clothes? Do you need anything?"

"Yes, yes, and yes. I am totally fine, father. You don't need to worry about that." He sighed in relief and the smile faded away from my face. "I'm really sorry."

"I was mad at you... so mad... but then, I realized that you were right all along. And I tried to make your mother see that, but... you know how hard-headed she is, right?" He chuckled, bringing me back to his arms "I just wanted you to give me a signal that you were ok."

"I know. But I had to do this."

"I know," my father said and pulled me with him to the house. He was really happy to see me, and the way his eyes lightened up when he saw me was something I know I will never forget.

The employees immediately recognized me and greeted me with huge smiles.

I looked around and everything was just as I remembered. 

"Ana?" I heard my mother.

I turned around and looked at her.

"Mom," I said.

"You're back!" She gasped.

"It is time to talk," I said. I wanted to talk but we were interrupted by my sisters walking to the entry hall with their usual energy. They embraced me at the same time and for a long time. My grandmother showed up soon after and joined the hug.

I pulled away, wiping a tear away from my face and turned to my mother.

"Can we talk?"

"After all this time, now you want to talk?" She whispered with rage in the edge of her tone.

"It's time already," I said, walking to her.

She turned around, ignoring me and walked back to her office.

I looked back at my family behind me, and they all had this weak smile, knowing that we were about to have a hard conversation, maybe even a discussion. Either way, it was going to be ugly, and all of us knew that.

When I entered her office, she was walking back and forth, not paying attention to me.

"Mom?" I said.

She didn't answer me. She stopped walking and looked at me. Then she continued walking with her hands behind her back.

I stood there in silence, watching her and waiting for her to be ready to talk.

When she was ready, I prepared myself for the worse.

"You're so irresponsible! How could you do this?" She yelled, her eyes teary but filled with rage.

"Why? Irresponsible why? Is it irresponsible to live my life, without having you after me all the time to keep me inside this bubble? Is it irresponsible to go after my happiness?" I spat.

"Happiness?" She muffled a laugh in her throat. "You don't even know what you want to do with your life."

"If you were more interested in knowing your daughter instead of counting your money, you'd know that you're wrong! I always knew what I wanted, the problem was you! You didn't let me pursue my dreams!" She was about to talk, but I didn't let her. "No! You need to hear. You're so wrong, so, so wrong. So that you know, I am working as a florist helper. I always liked to follow Carl around in the gardens, helping him with the flowers, even though you hated it, because it causes a bad image to hang around with the servants; I learned how to cook, and - not to brag - I turned out to be an excellent cooker; and about my future? I just sent an application to the university to study psychology as I always wanted. And you know what? I am so happy like I have never been before."

She didn't say a word and I continued.

"If I stayed here, I would never be this happy. I hated this life, and you knew it. But you insisted on keeping me in this fake life. If at least I saw the mother in you that I saw years ago, when you had less money, I would be here. But everything was more important than us. Everything was more important than family."

I sat on the couch, and my mother was frozen, staring at me.

Then she muttered.

"I work too hard to give to you and your sisters everything that I never had. To make sure you have everything you need."

"And I am truly grateful for that. But it's time to let us go..."

I got up from the couch, approaching her in a gentle way. Then, I grabbed her hands and pulled her to a hug.

"I love you, but I also love my life and my dreams. And it's time for me to follow them, mom. I'm 25. I hope you understand this, because I want you by my side in every accomplishment, and not against me. I can't have you mad at me, mom."

She sighed and tightened the hug, sobbing on my neck.

"I am not. I am not mad at you. I'm mad at myself. Because... because I know you're right, honey..."

She then pulled away and looked at me.

"I'll change. I promise. I just want you to be happy."

"Thank you," I hugged her again, kissing her hair.

"Will you move back?" She asked with a hopeful tone in her voice.

"Mom..." I sighed and she looked at me.

"Can you at least stay for the weekend?"

I smiled at her and nodded.

***

At first, I thought that at any moment my mom would just freak out and start arguing and yelling at me just because. But the thing is that she was really changed. She was softer, more relaxed, and she genuinely worries about her children now. It's weird what two months could do to a person.

We ate dinner in family. My grandmother had a tear in the corner of her eyes the whole time. She was truly happy about how well things were going. My dad kept hugging my mother and kissing her in the head. And my sisters just kept smiling and telling me everything that happened in the past couple of months.

"So, Ana. Can you tell us how you've been? What you've been doing? Where are you living?" My dad asked in the next day, while we were having breakfast all together.

"I'm fine. I'm more than fine, really. Nanna helped me learn how to take care of things, and I can say that I nailed it." I smiled at my grandmother and looked at my mother. "I'm living in the house you were born in. In Phoenix, and I must say that I fell in love with the city" _Or the neighborhood._ "I also learned how to cook."

"Yeah, she really did!" Monica said with a smile on her lips.

"I'm working with Janice, Nanna's florist friend. I'm really enjoying it. And I applied to the local university" I heard my father gasp and clap his hands together in happiness. "I'm still waiting for a reply. But I have my connections there." I smiled, thinking about Chester. But then, my smile slowly faded away as I remembered what happened last time we were together. I actually felt a twist in my stomach.

Luckily, Rachel started talking and proposed us to spend the rest of the day in the pool. Summer was almost there and the weather was getting better and better as days passed. It was a hot day and the pool seemed fine to me.

I looked around, watching as my family enjoyed their time together, smiling and laughing. And that moment I realized how much I love them and how I missed these moments.

But even though I missed all of this, I don't regret leaving. In fact, sometimes I think that it was even the best thing that ever happened in my life.

***

We were at the pool, playing with a ball when I heard my grandmother yelling that my phone was ringing. I rushed out of the pool, still laughing because Rachel still doesn't know how to swim, but when I got to the phone it stopped. 

I unlocked it and saw that I had 2 messages and 5 lost calls from Chester. I haven't' touched my phone since I arrived last Friday, and it was already Sunday morning. I furrowed my brows and read the messages.

The first one was from Friday.

_I've knocked on your door last night and you weren't there. Were you out, or were you ignoring me? I really need to talk to you.  
_

The second one was from this morning.

_Right now I hope you are ignoring me because I haven't seen you since Thursday. Please, at least tell me to fuck off so that I know you're alright._

I immediately started typing a long message about how he left me hanging the other day, how much that hurt me and that he deserves being ignored. But then I couldn't bring myself to be that cruel, so I just told him that I left town. Oddly, even though he just tried to call me, he didn't even answer me, so I tried my best to ignore him and enjoy my family time.

Not easy, though. He was becoming the only thing that I think about and that's starting to scare me. In two months he became too special to me. I see him almost every day, have dinner and breakfast with him often, go to the movies together, and other times we just hang around each other. I've seen how his life is, even though I don't know why it is the way it is, and he knows everything about me. Two months. Two months and I'm head over heels with him. I don't know if that's even possible. At least, I thought it wasn't, but God knows how I really feel about him.

The thing that got me more lost in my thoughts was the way he acted before storming out of my house. Was he going to kiss me? He did say he liked me too much. He admitted his feelings for me. But was he true to his words, though? I hope he was because playing around with someone's feelings is really fucked up. And right now, my feelings are growing too fast and I don't want to live in a fantasy about something that might never happen.


	22. Good things happen when you least expect them

Before I knew it, I found myself driving back to Phoenix with a lighter heart inside my chest. I got the chance to talk to my mother again before leaving, to amend things more properly. We had a one-hour conversation about my life and about everything that went on for these past years, which ended with her asking me for advice on how to make my sisters do something with their lives.

I know that Rachel loves fashion and clothes, so something inside the fashion world could be a good future for her. Monica loves numbers, economy, management or something related to finances would be good for her. They only need to know the possibilities and have someone to support them.

That's all we ever needed: our parents' support.

I looked at the tall building I live in, smiling as the memories from the weekend flooded my mind. I was happy the way my life was going, no matter what happens.

I parked the car on my usual spot, just outside the main door of the building and took a deep breath once I felt the tender breeze of the night.

Then, I took my bags off the trunk of my car and walked to my apartment.

The corridor was quiet and properly illuminated. Oddly, my heart started beating faster as my eyes fell on my neighbor's door. Everything seemed so calm and agitated at the same time. I ignored those feelings and turned around to insert my key in my keyhole, but at the back of my head, something told me to stop.

I turned around and, without thinking twice, I knocked on Chester's door. I just needed to see him. But my hopes faded away when after a minute of waiting, his door remained closed. I leaned in and placed my ear against his door to check if he wasn't really there. No noises were heard, so I decided to go inside my apartment and call it a night.

When I got in, I glanced over the couch and trembled as I replayed last Thursday's events. How Chester's breathing caused goosebumps on my skin so easily, and how he just leaned in, almost touching my lips with his.

I don't understand what happened for him to go away like that, I mean -- I know that Peter's message was odd and horrible to hear, but it wasn't my fault. It had nothing to do with us, nor what was about to happen.

Talking of Peter, I didn't even remember that weird message. I never really called him back, so I never knew what happened.

Maybe I should do it, he was there for me since the beginning and he didn't even know me that well.

When I decided to give him a call, I stilled. My bell rang and my heart started beating fast inside my chest, my first thought going to Chester. But as I opened the door I saw a very distressed Nicole, shaking uncontrollably. She rushed inside my apartment, leaving me speechless with an open door. 

"I know you're going to be pissed off, but I'm sorry, I need to tell you this," she started rambling about things that made no sense -- about something like a date she had and things that happened in the last couple of weeks.

I furrowed my brows and stood there looking at her, while she walked from one side to the other in my living room. If she didn't stop she would make a hole in the ground. 

At last, she let her body fall on the couch and calmed down, finally being able to speak something understandable.

"Peter. I. Like. Peter. I don't know what happened, but here I am. We traded phone numbers after going out with you and Chester. Then... we just went on dates together... and it happened."

"What happened?" I walked slowly to the couch.

"He kissed me." She got up to a sitting position, to look me in the eyes while she said it. "I don't what's going on! I like him, I really like him. But I'm not sure I'm ready for this right now."

"Nicole, you only know him for a few weeks."

"THAT'S WHY I'M GOING MAD!!!" She yelled, letting her body fall on the couch again.

I groaned and sat by her side, pulling her body up to a sitting position.

"What about him? How does he feel?"

"He said he fell in love. That he never did that before and he is scared... But I told him about my ex and he said he would wait for me as long as it needs."

"What about you? Are you in love?"

"I don't know..." She sighed. "It's so soon to know!!! This is all happening so quick, what if I'm wrong? What if he hurts me? What if I go through all that shit over again?" She started sobbing.

I pushed her to my arms and hugged her, both of us unaware that Chester was coming home and saw my door open. He was worried and stepped one foot inside. He couldn't help but hear that conversation.

"Nikki, listen to me. You -- you are a wonderful woman. You're beautiful, smart, and funny. Any guy would be head over heels for you. Your ex was a loser, he wasn't even a man. He is a shitty asshole that has no respect for no one but himself. He didn't deserve you and yet you loved him with all your heart. I know that he hurt you and that it still hurts like hell, but you can't let that affect your heart from now on. It's not worth it -- he's not worth it! You, on the other hand, you deserve to be happy. To find someone to treat you right, because you are such a good person."

She pulled away from my hug and smiled weakly.

"I might be wrong, but Peter seemed like a really nice guy. And if you think you should go after him, just go. Nothing should stop you. If he says he waits for you, you just need to be calm and let everything go the way it is supposed to go. And if he doesn't wait for you, he is a jerk. You deserve everything good in this life... Please, don't let anyone scare you away from love. It is hard but it is worth it."

"Wow..." She said. "Are you in love?"

"Uh?" I narrowed my eyes, not knowing where the hell that question came from.

"Only a person in love would talk like that," she said clearing her tears away and creeping me up with a sudden smirk.

"Shut up!" I said, getting up from the couch.

Nicole started laughing out loud, she didn't even seem like the sobbing and trembling girl from moments ago.

"My baby girl is in love for the first time! This is just fantastic! This almost made me forget about my doubts!" She was laughing so hard right now that I had to throw her a pillow before walking back to the kitchen to get us something to drink. "It is who I think it is?" I heard her asking with a mocking tone.

Once I reached for the door to close it, I froze. Chester was in the threshold, staring at me with his big brown eyes shining like a little kid that saw Santa for the first time. 

I gasped, not expecting him to be there. I hope he didn't hear any of the conversation Nicole and I were having just seconds ago. He could be scared or misunderstand something, I never know what's going on inside his beautiful head. 

I didn't know how much I missed him until I laid my eyes on him.

And for a brief moment, we were both lost in each other's eyes, not knowing how to act.

"Chester," I muttered.

And Nicole yelled from the living room, unaware of his presence.

"I KNEW IT!"

***

Nicole soon realized that we were not alone anymore when she raised her head from the couch and looked over to the front door. She blushed so hard that I had to contain my laughter in the back of my throat. If I, myself, wasn't so embarrassed with that situation, I would mock her right there, but I was mortified by what she said.

"Ops?" Was all she managed to say when she realized she fucked up.

Chester, on the other hand, had a mocking expression behind his shiny brown eyes and a small smile on his lips.

Nicole gathered her things and walked to the door in silence. A slow-motion walk of shame that I'd love to have it taped to watch again later.

Before I let her go, I reached for her arm and pulled her to a quick hug.

"You have a lot to think about Nikki. But think about yourself in the first place, about your wellbeing. But don't be afraid to follow your heart, alright? I'll support you, no matter what."

She nodded her head and smiled, saying goodbye to me and Chester before disappearing with her tail between her legs.

I finally turned to Chester and gestured him to come in, closing the door behind him.

"Tea?" I asked nonchalantly, trying my best to ignore his deep stare.

He cleared his throat, sitting in front of my kitchen island.

"Yes, please."

I made us mint tea and served it in two mugs, handing him one. I could almost hear my own heart beating since there was only dead silence in that room. But I wasn't the one that was going to break it. He had to fight for it.

Chester finally decided to end that tension and spoke.

"So -- uh, you went out of town?"

"Yes. I made up my mind and decided it was time to make amends with my parents."

"You went home?" He asked surprised.

"Yes, I went home for the weekend," I said, taking a sip of my tea to hide how nervous my voice was.

"That's amazing!!! How did things go?" He asked, genuinely interested.

"Better than I expected, we made up," I smiled.

Chester was silent all of a sudden and I noticed his change.

I looked at him for a moment, waiting for him to come back to the world.

"Does... does that means that you're --- going to move back?" He asked.

I smiled at his question. He seemed sad just by imagining that possibility and that was too fucking cute.

"No," he lifted his head to look at me. "You are going to put up with me for a while longer."

I sat by his side and bumped against his shoulder in a playful way, making him laugh weakly, with his eyes staring at the ground. I told him everything that happened during the weekend and how I managed to make my mother come down of her flying broom. He laughed all the time because I managed to make funny remarks about everything that happened. And I couldn't be happier with how we were spending our time.

None of us dared to talk about last Thursday. At least not right away. We needed to make ourselves comfortable with each other again before touching such a sensitive subject.

But I knew that eventually, we would have to bring it up. I just needed to wait for the right moment.

I froze when I felt his arms hugging me, embracing me by my neck.

"I'm happy that you made amends with your family. You have no idea how much it means to me that you have your family by your side," he said and I knew that Family relationships were a hard subject for him. 

I ended up melting in his arms and rested mine around his waist for a while.

After inhaling a good amount of his perfume, like the good creeper I am, I pulled away and smiled.

"Oh! I almost forgot! I have another thing to tell you!!!" He lifted his brow at my sudden burst of energy and excitement. "I applied for university last Friday."

"What??? That's wonderful!"

"Yeah, I'm going to have to wait for the answer, though. I just applied," I said, trying not to have high hopes.

"I'm going to talk to some people and see what I can do to fasten things up."

"Oh -- no, I can't ask you that."

"You didn't," he smiled and I couldn't help but smile too. "I have news too. I went to a bar last Friday night and met some old friends from school. From the time when I was happy..." he looked down, fidgeting with his fingers. "We talked for hours about our lives and stuff..."

"Friends? The ones from the group you used to hang around with... including... ya know... Mike?"

"Yeah," he nodded his head. "Rob, Brad, Joe, and Dave."

"And how did it feel to you?"

"I don't know," he smiled weakly, "It was strange but it felt nice. And the next day we had dinner to catch up and promised to keep in touch. I -- I even invited them to come to my apartment this week."

"Really? That's so good, Chester... I'm proud, I really am," I said while my hand grabbed him and squeezed it on his lap. This gesture made him look up at me.

"After... after shit went down, we never talked. Like, ever again. And now we talked for hours about our lives and... uh -- I kinda talked about you and they are very interested in meeting you. They even invited you to a party they're organizing."

He smiled and nodded his head, but he diverted his look to the ground again, keeping his smile on his lips. I could swear he blushed.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Why did you talked about me?"

"I..." He sighed, putting his mug down on the table and looking at me, at last. "I think you know why."

We went silent for a while and I knew that was the moment I've been waiting for. I had to ask him, I had to know why he ran away from me without saying a word.

"Chester... what happened last Thursday? We were having a good time and then you ran..."

"I got s-scared." Chester looked down again to his hands on his lap, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt in an anxious way.

"Tell me why," he looked at me with pleading eyes but I got up from my seat and walked to the window, already foreseeing a pointless conversation, a discussion or him running away from me. _Like always_. "Please, don't hide anything from me. I'm getting sick of that."

He got up and followed me.

"It is hard for me to open up, Ana. And last Thursday, I -- I exposed my heart to you. I opened it up, just for you. And... when I heard that message from P-Peter, I was mad. And scared. I thought I misunderstood something or that you were just getting carried away with the moment --" He stopped talking and took a deep breath, brushing his hair back with his two hands. "For a second I thought you put up with my shit because you pity me."

"Uau! What. An. Asshole." I rolled my eyes and walked away from him, leaning my back against the kitchen island with my arms crossed in front of my chest.

"I know. I know. But you need to understand this -- and please let me tell you everything before I lose courage. I am so used to having you in life that these 3 days without you were really bad! 3 days, Ana. 3 fucking days!" He approached me slowly, with his hands on top of his head, like he was in despair. Then he let out a small chuckle. "I was getting crazy because my neighbor left for 3 days. I -- I didn't know how much I needed someone like you in my life. And what I missed the most was your smile and your laugh -- Do you have any idea how much my day is better because of that?"

He was getting closer as he talked to me, and I felt my body tense up automatically.

"And what does this mean, Chester?" I whispered.

"I don't know. All I know is: I like you. I really like you, Ana. And for the first time in my life, I wanna let someone in. I made up my mind -- I - I need to try... I know you want to know everything about me... You have every right to want that... and you know that I don't have the courage in me right now... But I will. I promise you -- I will. I will have the courage to do everything I want to do, including letting you in. You made me think this way without even realizing."

"I don't want to force you to something you don't want to do," I whispered again because I was too weak to make a properly audible sound.

Chester got closer again. He was looking at me in the eyes, with a hopeful spark glowing behind them.

"You're not forcing me into anything... I want this -- I trust you and I want to tell you everything."

I smiled at him and nodded my head.

"I decided to go back to my psychologist," he suddenly said.

"You were in a psychologist before?" I asked worriedly.

"Yes. He was the one that helped me out of the alcohol and the drugs, and he made me use music as a healing method. He got me into the university and then he got me a job as a teacher. He was really helping me, but... when I thought that was better and that was the best I could achieve, I never went to him again. I really thought that I couldn't get better." He grabbed my hands. "But now I see how wrong I was. You gave me a reason to get better."

At this point, I was so hypnotized by him that I was lost in his eyes.

"Wow..." Whenever I'm around him, this is the only word that I say these situations. "I need to spend more weekends away."

Chester chuckled, and my heart became tighter.

"I'm sorry if I caught you by surprise. I'm sorry if this is too much. I know -- I know we only meet each other for a short period of time, but I -- I don't know... you're different from all the other people I met in my entire life."

I smiled at him, and he continued.

"I don't know if you're getting the point of what I am trying to say, but, in my clumsy way, I'm trying to ask you for a chance."

I widened my eyes and my whole body became frozen.

"Please, say something..." He pleaded, his eyes burning into mine.

"Chester... I don't know what to say... I just want you to let me in. I swear I'll never hurt you and will never abandon you. I just need you to trust me, because I trust you completely."

"I know. And I do trust you... Just, give me some time, please." He asked, brushing a strand of hair away from my cheek. Then, he took a step closer, and my breathing changed. He was glued to me and I could feel the heat from his body. And that was driving me insane. 

The tension I felt around us was increasing as he stroked my cheeks and admired my face with his eyes, looking at my lips like a lion looking at meat. His other hand slowly crawled to my waist, making him pull me even more against him - something I didn't know was possible by now. 

He was taller than me, and I had to look up so that I could watch his beautiful eyes. 

And When he leaned in, I prepared myself to feel his lips in mine for the first time. But something passed through his mind and he simply planted a kiss on the top of my head and hugged me tightly against his chest.

Well, now I don't know if I am moved by his gesture or frustrated because he didn't do what both of us wanted for too long.

"You're the best thing that happened to me," he whispered. "But I don't wanna bother you anymore tonight. You must want to rest -- and it has been too many emotions for a weekend."

"You never bother me," I pouted, not wanting him to go.

"You know what I meant." He smiled, pulling away to look at me again. "I don't want to push you. I should give you some time to think. I only accepted how I feel about you because my sister squeezed me. She said she saw a change in me and she thinks you're responsible for it." He chuckled. "She's not wrong, though. But she opened my eyes and I did the rest of work all by myself. That's why I'm here... My life changed because of you, Ana. Thank you."

At last, he pulled away completely and started walking to the door with his fingers intertwined with mine. "I really want you to know everything about me," His smile faded away as something flashed through his eyes. The brown in them disappeared and they were completely dark. It's not common to see them this dark, but this time it was different. I don't know how to describe it, but it was disconcerting. And when he stopped at the threshold, he was trying hard to keep his eyes locked on mine, but they often travel down to my lips, as if he was fighting himself not to devour them. _I wish he stops fighting it._

"Hey, one step at a time. And we probably should take things slow. None of us want to get hurt, so we need to be calm and talk about things before taking steps too big to our legs," I said, even though that's not what I wanted at all.

"Yeah, you're right, you're right..." 

I felt him tense up, but he forced a smile, that didn't reach the darkness in his eyes.

Chester wished me a good night before turning around to go home. 

I picked my keys from the small table on my right side and closed the door, locking it immediately. I leaned against the closed door, with the most ridiculous smile plastered on my lips. I sighed deeply, finally relieving all the tension that I had inside of me.

It was heartwarming the way he opened up his heart, and the effort he put into his words, that I know for sure they were hard to say. But I was happy, so, so happy. I know we just talked, but I felt good things coming in the future, hard, but good.

And as I got lost in my own world I remained there, leaning on my door for a couple of minutes, totally losing track of time and place. But my train of thoughts was interrupted when someone knocked on my door.

I peeked at the clock on the wall and furrowed my brows. 

Then, after getting up my lazy ass off the floor, I unlocked the door and opened it, revealing a panting Chester. At first, I was worried by his distressed figure, but I had no time to even pronounce a word. Chester just threw himself at me, cupped my cheeks and crashed his lips softly against mine, leaving me with no other reaction than just give in and melt into the kiss.


	23. Going slow is the best way to go

It was as if time stopped around us.

No sound could be heard besides the smacking of our lips and our uneven breathing. Chester shocked me with his unexpected attack, but I didn't remain frozen for too long. My arms quickly pulled him closer to me as I felt a fire igniting inside my skin.

His warm lips were anything but gentle on me. At first, he took it slowly and delicately, but then it felt like he had this unbearable hunger that he tried to conceal for too long and now he was no longer in control of it.

He gave in and so did I.

I roughly grabbed the roots of his dark silky hair and pulled them, pressing his head harder against mine. His right hand was also intertwined with strands of my black hair just like in all of his fantasies where he imagined how it would feel like to pull it while he was devouring my lips. His left hand found its place in the curve of my back, slightly above my ass, and it wandered all over my shirt, dragging it up with the contact.

I had a billion of thoughts running through my head, all of them of pure ecstasy.

And when we pulled away to breathe, I immediately missed his lips on mine and pulled him to me once again.

This time, the kiss was less aggressive and more gentle and slow. It gave me enough time to feel him: how his lips were mild and wet, and how his tongue was smooth and delightful. It was as if he was made to kiss me. It was absolutely perfect, even better than I have ever dreamed.

After a while, Chester finally managed to pull away, leaning his forehead against mine, and fighting with his lungs for air.

"I'm sorry... I had to do this..." he whispered out of breath.

"I'm not complaining, am I?" I chuckled, my breathing mimicking his.

Chester's sultry voice provoked goosebumps on my skin and I shivered with his next words. "But I have to go slow with you, otherwise, I won't be able to stop."

"And why is that bad?"

We both laughed, our foreheads never daring to stay away. I looked him in the eyes and they were shining so much. They were shining with pure joy. My heart tightened at the thought of being the reason for his happiness.

"You deserve better than this. I need to do things the right way -- I -- I need to woo you -- I don't know... Take you out on a proper date, give you flowers and chocolates," he joked. "You deserve everything."

"I don't need any of that, as long as I have you," I sincerely admitted and he beamed.

"I know. But I want to give you everything."

We stood there with my door open, and our bodies glued, just staring into each other's eyes. His hands cupped my cheeks and his thumbs started stroking my face in a tender way.

He then pulled away from my forehead and pressed a kiss on it. His lips lingered there for a while and I closed my eyes just feeling him. That was a moment and a feeling I'd never want to forget.

"I should go now," he said, breaking the silence.

"Can't you stay a little longer?" I pouted and he smiled, pressing his lips against mine once again.

"We both have to work tomorrow, and I need to find Patrick, the University's headmaster, to talk to him about your application," Chester winked at me and smiled, kissing me again when he noticed that I opened my mouth to protest. I was so overwhelmed that I gave up fighting against him and just accepted that he wanted to help me.

"Thank you," I whispered out of breath after another out-of-this-world kiss.

"Goodnight, Ana," he said.

"Goodnight, neighbor," I said as I saw him walk away to open his door. I leaned against my door frame and admired his beautiful figure. He seemed more happy, lighter, like a weight was lifted off him. I smiled at that image and took a mental picture to remember myself of how happy he can be.

The last thing I saw of him that night was his gorgeous smile as he stared at me and closed his door.

I stood there for a while, smiling at the spot where he was.

Then, after daydreaming about him for a good 2 minutes, I decided it was time to go to bed and finally get the sleep I much deserved.

***

The next day, I hopped out of bed, as I recalled last night events.

I replayed Chester's kiss in my mind over and over again. It was like I was obsessed with that feeling. My first reaction was rushing my morning routine and knocking on Chester's door to have more taste of him. But he wasn't home.

I had to calm down my nerves and gather the courage to go to work.

As I walked down the street in the direction of the mall, I couldn't help but notice how more colorful the streets appeared to be. Everything was so much happier and harmonious, or maybe I had so many reasons to see it that way. It's wonderful how being at peace in life and with the people you love can make you feel this way: I made amends with my family, I applied to the university, and Chester and I are going somewhere - _finally_. I don't know where, nor what the hell that kiss meant, but I guess it was somewhere good.

At least, I hoped.

As soon as I walked in, Janice raised her gray-haired head and stared at me with her eyes acknowledging my good-mood.

"Good morning, Janice," I greeted her almost singing, kissing her in her temples.

"Good morning to you too. Is _You-Know-You_ the reason for your good morning?" Janice asked, taking me by surprise with the name she used to refer to Chester.

"Maybe..." I smiled, tightening the apron behind my back.

"It's wonderful to know honey," she said.

"Besides, I went home for the weekend. I made up with my parents," I said, earning a tight hug from Janice.

"Well, it seems like you had the best weekend of your life," she said with a mocking tone but then she hugged me tightly. "I'm really happy for you."

"Yeah -- thank you... Now, what do you need me to do today?"

"I need you to help me with an order. We were contacted by the university to garnish the ceremony for their anniversary. Apparently, someone spoke highly of us, darling."

I smiled, knowing exactly who the responsible was. 

My first thought when I saw the order was that it would be a lot of money for Janice, but also a lot of work for the two of us. We'd have to work hard to get everything done in time. So we planned everything together. I made a checklist on the computer and printed it, as well as a schedule to know when to order what, and due dates to get stuff ready.

Then, we made a list of flowers and sketched a design for the arrangements as the school asked us to do and sent them an email with the plan. Not two hours after we had a green light from them and I was responsible to manage that job.

It was almost lunchtime when I received a text message from Chester.

I smiled as I read it.

_Chester: Hey, there :) I was wondering if you had any plans for dinner tonight. I'd love to take you out._

_Ana: No, I have no plans :) Is this the proper date you talked about, with flowers and chocolate?_

Janice mocked me because I was drooling over my phone.

I felt a blush creep up my cheeks and made a grimace.

_Chester: Absolutely! I'll pick you at 8. Is that alright for you?_

_Ana: Yes, perfect. :) What should I wear? _I asked, but then sent another message almost immediately. _And don't say my SpongeBob's pajamas or I'm calling this off._

_Chester: Fuck! I bought a matching one for tonight's dinner. Well then, something casual... I'll see you tonight. I can't wait to see you again. Haven't stopped thinking about you today._

_Ana: Me too. I keep thinking about last night over and over again.   
_

I bit my lower lip, remembering how he surprised me with his attack last night and how his lips felt on mine. When I close my eyes, it's like it all repeats in a loop and there's nothing I can do about it.

After some minutes of waiting, Chester replied to my message telling me that he had so much to do that afternoon, but that he was going to keep me on his mind. So I put my phone away with a weird smile plastered all over my face and focused on the work I had to do.

Not long after lunch, my phone rang. I didn't know the number, so I hesitated to answer it. After a few moments of trying to recognize the number, I ended up pressing the green button.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hi, is this Ana Clemonte?" A man's hoarse voice was heard. It was a rough voice, tired even, but gentle at the same time.

"Yes, this is Ana talking," I prayed that this wasn't just some marketing call. Those are really annoying. You try to hang up and be polite at the same time, but they are so persistent that you just want to summon the devil and curse whoever is calling you.

"This is Patrick Jones, headmaster of the University of Phoenix. I received your application for our Psychology course. And I also received a recommendation from a very praised professor of this school and I'd like to have a meeting with you to talk about the terms of your enrollment."

I wanted to squeal. Chester did it! He really did it. I wanted to scream so loud, but I had to keep my posture.

"Yes, just tell me whenever you wish to see me and I'll schedule it."

"Absolutely. If you're available, I'd like to meet you next Thursday around 4 P.M. Is that alright with you?"

"Yes, I'll be there."

"I'll let the secretary know you're coming. If you need any indication of the whereabouts of my office, the security at the lobby can take you there. I'll see you in a few days, Ana. Have a good day."

"Thank you, you too."

I hung up the phone and started jumping up and down, sharing the news with Janice. She immediately said that whenever I needed to go out to take care of university stuff, that she wouldn't mind.

I wanted to use my phone to share the news with everyone, but there was nothing to share yet, though. It's just a meeting. I don't like to count my chickens before they hatch. I'll just thank Chester for talking about me and I'll wait for the meeting to take my conclusions.

The rest of the day I was too busy to even be anxious about my date with Chester and my meeting with Patrick.

Before I knew it, I was back at home, filling up my bathtub. I picked up my outfit for the night before taking my shower. I chose my denim dress. It's a knee-length bodycon with two thin straps and a zip that goes from the top to the bottom. I also picked up my white snickers. He did say to pick a casual outfit and I do hate heels.

After a long shower, I got ready and waited for Chester to ring my bell.

I was scrolling randomly through 9Gag when I received a text message from him asking if I was ready.

I jumped out of the couch and rushed to open the door for him. There he was: beautiful as always.

"Hi," I said, feeling my cheeks reddening and my hands sweating.

"Hi," he said, feeling as nervous as I was feeling. I noticed that his hands were hidden behind his back and there was a huge smile on his lips that melted me away instantly. He approached me and kissed my cheek shyly. Then, his arms moved from behind his back and he offered me the content he was hiding in his hands: a small bouquet of flowers and a box of Guylian Chocolate. You would melt at his gesture, but I started laughing: he really gave me flowers and chocolate.

"Well, you picked the right chocolates for me. I love Guylian."

"I know. I've seen them around in your house," I took the flowers and put it in the water in the kitchen. Then, I placed the chocolates on the kitchen's island and turned to him. He was gleaming. I mean, there was this happy aura around him, something that I almost never saw in him. It pleased me too much to see him glow like that.

"You're really observant. I like that," I shared my thought with him and he just chuckled but looked down to the floor when he felt his cheeks burning.

"Let's go?" He asked, offering me his arm.

"Yes," I smiled, allowing him to escort me to his car.

It was a silent walk under the street lights, but it was not uncomfortable. We were just nervous about this new development of our relationship.

Chester wanted to talk, to say something to end that silence, but didn't know what to say when we got inside his car. So he decided to say whatever was on his mind and be honest with me.

"I was nervous all day," he chuckled under his breath. "I just wanted to see you."

"Me too... I'm still nervous as fuck. I don't know what's wrong with me," I admitted, laughing.

"Good... I'm not mad then," he said, glancing at me by the corner of his eyes.

When we arrived at the restaurant, I smiled as I saw how cozy it was. Chester knows I don't like fancy stuff, like gourmet food. So he took me to an 80's style hamburger shop. I simply loved everything about it, not to mention my lovely company.

We sat on a table at the corner of the building, on comfortable sofas, facing each other. The waitress handed us the menu and we made small talk about the food. When we ordered our preferences, none of us knew how to start the conversation again. I studied the space around me while we were quiet, noticing how even the people that worked there were dressed in cute pink dresses, with little white aprons tied on their waists, and their hairs were done like those vintage wavy up-dos.

When I looked back at Chester he was staring at me. He looked like he was admiring me, and I just lowered my head and blushed. I wanted to end that awkward moment, so I started talking about the call I received today and thanked him for talking about me to the headmaster.

"You don't need to thank me, Ana. I knew you were going to be called sooner or later, I just sped up the process."

"Anyway, it's just a meeting. I don't want to throw the rockets before the party."

"Yeah, but I'd see it as good news," he smiled.

"I don't know... I'll have to wait and see."

"Have you ever been this fascinated with human psychology?"

"Yes. I've learned so much through the books. My grandfather gave me my first book. It's old, but it's still up to date. It's worn-out, though. I read it too many times," Chester chuckled and I smiled, remembering when I opened my gifts under the Christmas' tree. "I spent the rest of the Christmas' day reading it and by the end of that week, I was finished. There was something that sparked inside of me and I don't know... I guess that's when it all began. I'd use the money I received from birthdays and would go to the library to get everything that I could afford for."

"That's actually really cool. Why didn't you apply for university sooner?"

I looked at him for a moment and looked down at the empty table.

"My mother... I think she expected me to grow up, marry some rich guy that would end up making a partnership with her and my father's company and she would be even richer. So, I didn't need to study or even work... It's stupid, so, so stupid."

"Hey..." Chester said, grabbing my hands that were resting at the table. He stroked them with his thumbs. "It's alright, you can do all of that now."

I lifted my head and smiled at him. How can a man that appears to be so broken inside, make you feel better just by existing?

"I know... But I feel like I wasted years of my life."

"You're going to enjoy your life to the full now that you're in control," he smiled weakly.

"I don't want you to get the wrong idea about her... My mother is not a bad woman... Her priorities are a little confused... But she's not a bad person," I said immediately, scared that he might think that she was those mothers who don't love her children. That is not true, at all. She just needed a lesson to change her perspective about life. I think that all of us need that lesson once in a while during our lives.

"Your mother made you. She could never be that bad," he is so sweet with words that I can't help but blush at his remarks.

We continued talking about random things for a while. The waitress brought the food and we remained quiet for some time again. And again, I didn't know what to say, but I surely wanted to talk about us, and about where we were going. On the other hand, I decided not to touch the subject. It was too soon for such a conversation and I wanted things to go as the way they were supposed to go. But still...

"So... How are the rehearsals going?" I broke the silence all of a sudden.

"Great! The students are really committed to the show and I couldn't be more proud... It's only a couple of weeks away."

"That's good, I can't wait to see the show -- I mean, if the invitation is still open for me."

"Of course it is! I have the ticket for you back home."

"Can you tell me how it's going to be, or is it a secret?"

Chester smiled widely and told me only about the things he could tell me about. I just love the way he talks so passionately about his job.

He stopped talking when his phone started ringing. He put it in silence, but I forced him to answer it. It could be important.

It was one of his old friends, Rob. They were supposed to meet tomorrow night but they called to ask if he wanted to hang around with them at the bar. They said they had news they needed to share with him.

"Not tonight. I'm having dinner with someone and I can't go," I heard Chester say. Rob probably asked him if that someone was me because I noticed how Chester blushed and smiled. "Yes, it's her."

After a moment, he hung up the phone and put it inside his pocket, turning his attention to me.

"What did he want?" I asked.

"He just wanted to ask me to meet them at the bar tonight."

"You should go," I said.

"I'm having dinner with you," he said matter-of-factly.

"Well, take me with you, then," I answered in the same tone.

"You want to meet my friends?" He asked surprised.

"I already met your sister, I think meeting your old friends from school is not such a step," I joked.

Seeing him smile and laugh is the best part of my day. It makes me forget the times I saw him getting home sad and depressed or the time when he knocked on my door shaking because of the nightmares. It makes me forget when he buried his head in the crook of my neck and sobbed for 15 minutes. I hate when I think about it, all I want to do is rush to his side and hug him forever or until he no longer feels that way.

I convinced him to call Rob back and say he was meeting them in an hour, and that he was taking me with him.

We left the restaurant after dessert and walked back to Chester's car. He intertwined his hand with mine but kept looking forward as if he did nothing. My heart started beating faster at the gesture, but I tried to calm down. 

The conversation during our trip back was relaxed and enjoyable, but I noticed how he tensed up when he parked his car near the bar. I think he was nervous about me meeting his friends, I didn't know was that it would be such a big deal for him. But then again, everything with him is a big deal.

Before he was able to open his door to exit the car, I grabbed his hand and he stopped. Chester looked at me in the eyes, confused by my behavior, but I moved closer to him and pressed my lips against him, as softly as I could. I closed my eyes and felt how warm his lips were - I was dying to feel them again. Chester, on the other hand, kept his eyes open, taken aback with my lovely gesture. And when I pulled back he smiled, cupped my face with his hands and kissed me again, more passionately.

Then, he pulled away.

"Let's go?" He asked.

I nodded and smiled, leaving the car a little dizzy. This man causes so many feelings in me and he might not be even aware of that.

When we entered the bar, Chester had his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him like he was trying to show to the world that I was his. Soon he found where his friends were sitting at and walked over them.

"Heeeeey!" One of them said once he laid eyes on us. "I guess you're the famous Ana?" He turned to me introducing himself as Rob.

"Famous, huh?" I asked, glancing over at Chester who was greeting the rest of the guys.

"Yeah, Chester doesn't shut up about you," said another guy.

Chester punched him in the arm and he started laughing. Then, Chester introduced me to the rest of the guys, opening a space for us to sit by their side. They all ceased any previous conversations and just stared at me with mocking faces. _This is going to be a hell of a night,_ I thought to myself.

"So, Ana," said the guy named Dave. "How did you two guys meet?"

"Uh --" I looked at Chester and he nodded his head, giving me the courage to talk. How come he never told them about how he met me if they already knew about my existence? "We are actually neighbors and we started talking because I was making too much noise in my apartment on one of my first nights there."

They all looked at Chester with judgmental faces.

"He even wrote me a paper to ask me to quiet down and put it under my door," Chester hid his head on my back, not expecting me to tell all the truth. Even though he was embarrassed, he was laughing, remembering how it all started in such a curious way. "Then we started talking over little notes left under the doors."

"What? I never took you for a pussy, Chester," Brad said.

"Fuck off," Chester scolded him.

"And when did you two started dating?" Rob asked with a smile on his lips.

"Uh -- I don't know. I guess it was tomorrow?" I looked over Chester and he shrugged.

"What? How? He keeps talking about you since we saw him at the bar. And we have only met a couple of times since then! I thought you were dating already!" Brad said, earning a slap on the neck from Chester.

"Oh really? Tell me more about it!" I said, glancing at Chester who was absolutely mortified, embarrassed, and flustered. I was enjoying that conversation too much.

Hours have passed and we finally left Chester alone in the middle of the conversation. They talked about their childhood years, where they would prank people all the time. They even talked about the time when they were a band and how good they were back then. It made me go back in time, to the night Chester took my guitar and started playing random songs until we both ended up singing Wonderwall.

It all happened so fast, it seems like it was years ago, when, in fact, I only knew him for almost 3 months. I must be crazy, for sure. Falling for someone in only 3 months! I'd never thought that I would end up like this. But I don't complain, I'm sure of my decision, and being with Chester is one of the things that I want the most since I've met him.

I could see why Chester enjoyed so much Rob's, Brad's, Joe's and Dave's company. They are funny and can give you a good time with their stories. And the way they can make Chester come out of his eggshell it's absolutely outstanding. I never saw Chester socializing like this, without any kind of fear or uncertainty in his eyes.

At the same time, Chester was delighted by the way I was so well received by his friends, and how well I appeared to be feeling with them.

When the night was over and it was time to go home, we all said our goodbyes.

"Ana, we're going to throw a party in my house," Rob said, "You're more than invited. We'd like to know more embarrassing stories about Chester's way of flirting with you and I'd love to tell you a few more things about him."

"Oh, I can't wait!" I said and Chester just said _hey!_ tickling me under my armpit. They all laughed at him and soon after they walked away, leaving us alone.

Chester drove us back home, parking his car side by side with mine.

Before we left the car, he grabbed my hands and looked at me.

"I had a good time tonight. I hope you don't regret going out with the guys... I know they can be --"

"-- Hilarious?" I said, catching him by surprise. "I loved them, and everything about tonight."

"Good! Good..."

We exited the car after he kissed both my hands and walked back to our building. After climbing up the stairs, I grabbed the keys from my pocket and turned around to open my door. For some reason, I felt Chester tensing up behind me. I glanced back at him almost immediately, furrowing my brows at his change of posture.

"Don't you want to come in?" I asked innocently, but I noticed that he seemed bothered by something. Maybe I said or did something wrong, I don't know. Chester is like a ticking bomb that you never know when it's going to explode, even if you manage him in the most gentle way.

"I think I'm gonna pass... I'm gonna get some sleep... These rehearsals have been killing me."

"Oh..." I said, knowing very well that he was lying. He was tired, yes, but there was something else killing him inside and he didn't want to share. That makes me sad. That makes me think that he still doesn't trust me enough to share his feelings.

Something about him makes me want to protect him all the time. I know he is a troubled soul, and I would rather die than hurt him. I know how tight my heart becomes when I see the pain in his eyes, even when he tries to mask it with a fake smile.

I looked down at my keys and nodded my head, looking at the ground.

"But I want to see you tomorrow. Before work, is that alright?" He asked, pulling me to his arms, and kissing my temples. I leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes, the smell of his perfume delighting my nostrils.

"Yes... Knock on my door whenever you want."

Chester lifted my chin up to look at him with his delicate index finger, leaned in slowly and pressed his lips against mine. His lips lingered there, as he inhaled deeply. He pulled away, looked at me again and smiled warmly, making all of my worries and fears drift away all of a sudden.

"Goodnight, neighbor."

"Goodnight, Chester."


	24. Controlling desires and learning how to make a relationship work

As promised, Chester knocked on my door the next morning.

In his hands was a bag full of muffins.

He greeted me and kissed my cheek, making himself comfortable in my kitchen. I smiled at the image: the light of the rising sun illuminating my humble living room and the kitchen, glowing directly in his pleased face. I prayed that we had lots of mornings like this one. Together and happy.

"You woke up early this morning," I stated.

"I had to pick up breakfast for you," he said, taking the first bite of a blueberry muffin.

I grabbed a muffin for myself and sat by his side, with my legs crossed under my body.

We made small talk, telling about how we were going to spend our days at work and scheduling a dinner together in my house that night. We were both eager to spend time together, now that we found ourselves in each other's arms.

Occasionally, I'd give him a peck on his lips, or on his cheek, making him smile and blush even harder, but mostly we just talked about random stuff. It felt so good to have him there with me. It just felt so right.

My phone went off and I ran to my room to see who it was. I saw Nikki's ID on the screen and smiled, knowing that she'd be thrilled to know about Chester and me. I wasn't sure if I should tell her over the phone or invite her over for dinner some time to tell her face to face.

When I picked up the phone, I didn't need to ask her to come over. She invited herself and hung up the call without giving me time to say that I was busy that night.

I furrowed my brows at her odd behavior, but then again, it's Nikki - she's that insane. I smiled and walked back to the kitchen, to find Chester admiring my grandfather's old Vinyl's Discs.

"Is everything alright?" He asked as he noticed my confused and amused face.

"Yeah - I mean, I have no idea. Nikki called. Something about coming over tonight because she had something huge to tell me. Then she hung up. I practically had no time to even say Hi."

"That's weird," Chester pointed out.

"Tell me about it. I've met her for years now, but she always manages to surprise me with her boldness and her ability to get in trouble. I wonder what the hell she is up to this time," I laughed, searching for a photo album on the sideboard in the dining room.

I gestured to Chester to sit on my couch by my side and opened the album for him.

The first photo was of my grandparents and me when I was a baby. It was Christmas and behind us - as background - was a humble Christmas' tree, with a few balls and lights. There were also some boxes on the floor, wrapped up with wrapping paper. My grandparents were smiling for the camera, but I had an annoyed face.

"That's you, right there?" Chester pointed out, laughing at my non-amused expression.

"Yup. I hate taking photos. And apparently, it has been like this since I was born," I turned the page and showed him the next photo. But he was looking at me with a radiant smile on his lips.

"Why don't you like photos?"

"I don't know -- I guess I don't like seeing myself in them after."

"You're beautiful, why wouldn't you like to see yourself in photos?" He asked, but it was more like a loud thought and not a question for me to answer. It still made me blush, though and I tried to run away from that conversation.

The album had photos in chronological order, following my growth through the years. And Chester was delighted hearing the stories of my childhood. He wished for a moment to be able to do the same, but he was so scared. So scared that these moments would end as soon as I hear everything about him. His past was so horrible, and he didn't want me to know about it, but at the same time, he felt like he needed to share everything with me.

Just, not that day.

Soon, we both left for work with smiles on our faces and I had to wake up from my daydream, roll up my sleeves and get the work done. We had so much to do and little time to make it happen. Another thing that was worried me about the university's ceremony was that I was invited by Chester and had to buy a fancy dress for the event.

I'm not very fond of these kinds of parties, but Chester deserved a little effort. I wanted to surprise him though. I wanted to find a dress that would make him blush. Why? I have no idea, but that's all I thought about as I searched the internet for the right dress at lunchtime.

"You're so focused on your phone, is everything alright?" I heard Janice's voice. We were having lunch in the small back room of the store and I was quiet the whole time.

I showed her what I was doing and she remembered that a friend of hers had a store with beautiful dresses. She gave me the address and told me to go there right away. I told her that I'd go there after work, but she forced me to do it immediately.

It wasn't too far away from the mall, though. And Janice was right, the store indeed had beautiful dresses, that weren't expensive as the ones I was looking at online. The lady from the story helped me and when she discovered that I knew Janice, she gave me a discount in the end. When I left the store and walked back home, I had a huge grin on my lips. I was imagining Chester's expression when he sees the dress. I don't know why, but sometimes, when he gives me those hungry predator eyes, I feel my body shiver and burning in ways that never burnt before, and that dress would certainly awaken that side of him. I guess we're going to have to wait and see what happens.  
  


***  
  


Chester brought pizza after work. He called me and asked me not to cook because he had a rough day and needed to eat junk food. When he got home, I asked him what happened that day and all he said was that he saw Mike and they talked. More like, they had a fight. Or Mike yelled at him and he cowered down.

The pizza and my company did make him feel better, though and we turned on the T.V. to distract our heads. I found The Hangover was starting on a movie channel and I decided it would be better to make him laugh and forget his encounter.

In the middle of the movie, we found ourselves cuddling under a thin blanket. I was lying between his legs, with my head resting on his chest when there was a sudden knock on my door.

I raised my head, looked at Chester with my brows furrowed and got up.

I opened the door and Nikki was there. The thing was: she wasn't alone.

"Nikki? Peter?" I said, earning Chester's full attention on the couch.

Nicole made her way into my apartment and dragged Peter behind her. I looked at her in disbelief and closed the door, crossing my arms in front of my chest. The way she pulled her in told me everything I needed to know.

When her eyes landed on Chester, she remembered the last time she saw him and felt a blush creep up her face. She gave him an apologetic smile and greeted him. Peter approached him and shook his hand, turning his attention to Nikki and me.

"Well, you said you had something to tell me," I spoke as I noticed how they were embarrassed. "Spit it out."

Nicole walked over to Peter and hugged his arm, resting her head on his shoulder. Her eyes were shining, and her cheeks were pink. I know that look: she was in love. Peter, on the other hand, was calm and confident, even though there was a slight color on his cheeks too. I must say that they looked like a nice couple.

"So?" I was playing hard.

"Uh -- I think it's obvious," Nicole said, but I narrowed my eyes making her sight. "We're dating?"

I opened my mouth to speak but closed immediately. I wanted to say something sweet, but I couldn't waste the moment to mock Nicole.

"You're dating this freak?" I asked Peter. "Well, good luck then."

Nicole picked a pillow from the couch and threw it at my face, making me laugh. Then, she launched herself at me and we hugged for a long moment. She was whispering me words of acknowledgment, something about only being with him because I gave her the courage she needed. I told her that I want to see her happy and if she likes Peter, that she had my full support.

When we pulled away, Chester was shaking Peter's hand and congratulating him for the new relationship.

I thought that was the proper moment and told them about me and Chester.

"Well, I kinda have news for you too," I said, walking to Chester's side. I looked at him and kissed him on his cheek. "We started dating."

"What? Really?" Nicole started jumping up and down. "I bet it was after my visit."

"Well..." Chester started speaking, but then he just nodded his head.

"Yes, yes, yes. Fuck yes!!!" She hugged me again and I heard Peter chuckling at his new girlfriend's happiness. He just stood there, watching her in amazement and asking the Gods to allow him to keep that smile on her face every day.

I pulled away from her and turned to Peter. He spoke first.

"I want to thank you for introducing me to Nikki. It's basically the best thing that happened to me. She's perfect, actually. And I really, really like her. I hope one day we can all be best friends," he looked at everyone in that room and smiled, feeling like he finally found humble and honest people that he could trust completely. All his life he lived under his parent's orders. It was different from mine, though. His parents always gave him the freedom to search for his happiness. And he finally has found it.

I approached him and pulled him a tight hug. My lips neared his ear and I whispered some words that no one else was able to hear.

Then I pulled away and smile at his pale face.

Not soon after, Nicole said something about giving us time alone to get on with it and I walked them to the door.

"Peter, you know I was kidding but being serious at the same time, didn't you?" I said, teasing him a little bit more before closing the door.

I heard Nicole asking him what the hell I was talking about, and I would kill to see her face when he tells her. When I turned around, I saw that Chester was sitting on my couch, his body was straight like he was tense or something. I walked closer and sat on the couch, pulling him to my arms.

Once I felt his stiff body and saw how dark his features were, I stopped and looked at him.

"Are you alright?"

Chester hummed and I knew for sure that was not alright.

I got up from the couch and kneeled on the floor in front of me.

"What's wrong, Chester?"

He looked at me with narrowed eyes, but then looked away to the T.V., ignoring my presence there. If I wasn't so worried about his sudden change of behavior and didn't know how hard it is to get him to talk, I'd be so pissed off with his attitude.

Since his eyes didn't come back to me, I took the remote from the side table and turned off the T.V. He wasn't watching it anyway, he was just using it as an excuse not to look at me.

"Chester," I called.

He looked at me but didn't say anything.

I hate it when he acts like that. It's like he wants to talk, but something stops him from doing it. He's been like this since I met him, but I thought that after the beginning of our relationship he'd at least be able to talk about us, about what he likes or what he does not like. And I noticed how he always seems like he wants to say something, but he stops himself all the time. It's really infuriating.

His name left my lips again and since he still didn't answer me, I knew I had to say more than just his name.

"Chester, come on. You need to share whatever is on your mind with me, even if you think it's stupid. Like... last night when I asked you to come inside with me. I know something was going on inside of your mind, but I didn't force you to tell me. However, if you want us to work, you need to talk to me about how you feel, or if I did or said something that bothered you... I just want to be the best for you." He didn't say anything but nodded his head, so I approached him again and kissed him on the cheek. "Now, tell me... Was it because of Nikki and Peter's visit?"

Chester sighed and looked down, closing his eyes in defeat. He nodded his head, confirming my suspicions. I was starting to know him better that he intended.

"Yes... I know... It's stupid," he was about to continue his confession, but he stopped himself.

"But....?" I insisted.

"Come on, look at him. He is rich, good-looking, and he seems like a nice guy. He can give you everything I can't. And probably he doesn't have a past as fucked up as I have, or he doesn't drown in depressions and fucking pills. I am no one, and I'll probably fuck you up too."

He got up from the couch and walked to the window, sitting on the edge with his legs hanging on the outside and he started fidgeting with his hands.

Why does he talk about himself that way? It hurts me to hear such words when they are not true. Not one bit.

I walked right after him and stood in front of him with my arms crossed over my chest.

"Don't you ever talk about yourself like that. Ever again."

"I'm sorry," he said with the most guilty tone I've ever heard that even my rage melted.

"You have no reason to be jealous of Peter," Chester looked at me with his eyes narrowed, like I said the most stupid thing on Earth. I approached him and hugged him from behind, planting a soft kiss on his neck. "I like you, Chester. And no one else. Besides, Peter and Nikki are together now. And all I want is for them to be happy as I am with you. You are a beautiful human being, even if you don't see yourself that way. I don't care. I see you for who you are, and I really, really like you."

"I don't deserve you," he smiled.

"I know."  
  


***  
  


Friday arrived and so did my meeting with Patrick.

As Chester told me to do, I made a list of all the books I read during my life about human psychology. I couldn't remember every single book I read, but most of them were still on my shelf, so it wasn't that hard.

I was nervous while I sat on the red cushioned chair in the waiting room.

People that worked there were well dressed up, focused on the papers they had in hands. Almost no one that walked by me in that waiting room had time to acknowledge my presence. Which is perfect, anyone who'd look at me would see that I was almost at a panic attack level of nervousness.

When the nice brunette lady called my name to the headmaster's office, I gulped. My hands were sweating and my legs wanted to give in.

I smiled politely at her and she reciprocated the gesture, holding the door open for me.

The headmaster was a black male, tall, dark curly hair, but his eyes were a mixture of brown and green. Not the common eye, and beautiful all the same.

Patrick smiled and held a hair for me. I shook it and he gestured me to have a seat on the wooden chair.

"So, Ana Clemonte, right?" He said casually, placing his glasses on the tip of his nose to read my file. This man must be about 40 years old, I thought to myself as I watched his laid-back posture."As in Clemontes' enterprises?"

He raised his eyes at me and I nodded. He just hummed and his eyes returned to the paper.

"Well, tell me about yourself. What are you doing presently, what are your objectives for the future, why do you want to study now?"

I remembered how Chester told me about Patrick yesterday.

"_Patrick has a great sixth sense for lies, or for people who try to look like what they are not. He likes genuine people who tell the truth regardless of whether it is good or bad. He likes people who don't wear masks every day to look good in society's eyes. He likes people like you... So when you are talking to him, tell him everything he wants to know about you_."

"Well, from an early age, I loved books. Any kind of book. And my grandfather always had a way of knowing about other people's aspirations. So, when I was a little girl, between 10 or 12 years old, he gave me my first book about human psychology 101. I was so interested in the book that I read it in a week. Then, I would save all the money people gave me on birthdays and would buy all kinds of books about the matter. I've been like this all my life."

"And why didn't you apply sooner. I mean, you're almost 26."

I sighed and looked down. My mother would kill me if she knows that I told someone about our personal lives. Anyone could steal the information and plaster it all over the magazines. But it is my future at stake. I needed to have a little faith in the man in front of me.

"My family is very rich. They have a fairy-tale life in the ways of the others. But inside, we are still a family with all our problems. I didn't agree with my parents' way of treating me and my sisters, as they kept us in a bubble all our lives. They wanted us to be dolls, married with wealthy men so that we don't need to work. But I didn't want that for myself. I wanted to follow my dreams. So, I left home, let go of all that wealth and got a job as a florist assistant."

Patrick furrowed his brows at me. He was checking if my story was true or not.

"Are you still mad at your parents?"

"Yes and No. After a few weeks away, I went back to make amends. But made sure to let them know that this is my life now. And I decided to go after my dreams, including studying psychology."

Patrick nodded his head and looked down at his papers.

"And what are your dreams, besides studying?"

I took a moment to analyze my thoughts, wishes and everything that I never had the last years and only one answer came to my head.

"Be happy."

This made him raise his head at me and smile.

"Chester told me good things about you. He was once helped by a friend of mine, asking for a vacancy for him. I took a leap of faith and accepted him. I never regretted my decision. He is a wonderful teacher and person. And when he showed up, asking me the same thing for another person, I couldn't say no," he got up from his place and searched for something on the cabinets. "He spoke so highly of you that I even considered accepting your application immediately. But I had to know if he was right."

"And what are your conclusions?" I dared to ask.

"He underestimated you, you can be so much more. his is not just a career for you. This is a dream. A passion. Not every one that studies here feels that way."

He placed some papers in front of me and smiled.

"Fill those forms and hand them to my assistant. You're having the scholarship to pay for your tuition fees. See you at the beginning of the year."

I wanted to squeal and jump up and down, roll on the floor, scream to the world to know that I was able to follow my dreams. But I knew it wouldn't be proper to do it in front of the headmaster that had just accepted my application. So, I bowed my head, thanked him and got out to fill the forms and hand them to the nice assistant. I was shaking so hard that I feared that my hands might fail.

When I finally got out, I started jumping up and down and laughing like a lunatic.

People stared at me but returned to their lives soon after.

I went for my purse and grabbed my phone.

I had a message from Chester asking me how the meeting went and to call me whenever I want.

After a few moments of waiting, Chester picked up the call.

"So... How did it go?" He asked excitedly.

"Uh -- I forgot to ask: is student-teacher relationship allowed in the university?"

"You got the vacancy?" He almost yelled.

"I did!"

"Oh my God, that's awesome! That's so fucking awesome!"

"Thanks to you, Chester," I said, thinking of ways to thank him.

"Nonsense. It is all you. We need to celebrate!"

"We're going out with your friends tomorrow night, so --"

"Yeah, but I wanted to celebrate with you tonight. I'll have rehearsal until later, but I'll try to at least give you a congratulations kiss tonight when I arrive."

"Alright, I'll wait for you. Just text me when you're out."

"Ok, bye, Ana..." He breathed out, "I'm really proud of you, baby. Really. You deserve the best."

I blushed but then felt stupid because he wasn't even there. All I need is a few words from him and that's it for me.

He did as promised, and after midnight, I opened my front door for him. He threw his arms around my waist and pulled me to a deep kiss. There was also a red rose for me in his hand and a proud look on his face that I will never forget.  
  


***  
  


I woke up soon on Saturday morning. For some stupid reason, I got up, dressed up in a tracksuit and started cleaning the whole house, like the good housewife I am. I don't know what gave into me, but that's what I did the whole morning. At least, until I heard my bell ringing. I know it wasn't Chester. Apparently, he had an appointment on his psychologist - on a Saturday, which is odd. But I thought that he might have arrived soon and came to see me.

When I opened the door, the smirk on my face was washed away.

"Mom?"

"At least, acted surprised," she said sarcastically, but smiling almost immediately. She kissed my cheek and got in without asking for permission.

I widened my eyes at her, but shook my head - she will never change her ways.

She watched everything around her, taking in every inch of the apartment where she grew up in. I'm sure it holds many memories for her. I waited for her to say anything while she approached my grandfather's turntable. She smiled and caressed it.

"Does it works?"

"Yes, it works."

She smiled and turned to me.

"I'm sorry to show up unannounced, but I had a business near the town and decided to invite you for lunch."

"It's ok," I said, part of me really happy that she took some of her time to visit me. I hate surprises and she knows it, but this one was good and made me feel good. It's like she is really trying to spend more time with her daughters. I know she has a long way to go, but I'm happy that she is putting effort into fixing things. "I need to take a shower first and get dressed. Just give me 10 minutes."

I rushed to the bathroom and left her alone in my living room, scanning every corner. Part of her was surprised that the house was so tidy and clean. She even smiled for how proud she was feeling.

As I said, 10 minutes later I was ready to go and stopped at the bedroom door when I saw her reading some university flyers that Chester brought me last night. She was smiling as she read them.

"Let's go then? I know a place good," I told her.

She hummed in response but then her eyes landed on grandma and granddad's picture on the sideboard. She approached it and took it in his hands, her fingers tracing the picture.

"I miss him every day," she whispered.

"I miss him too..." I admitted, feeling the tears burning in my eyes. "I'm sure he's watching us. He once said--"

The bell interrupted us, both of us turning our heads to the door. My heart skipped a beat. It was Chester for sure, but I didn't want my mother to meet him this soon. She was changing, I know she was. But you can't ask her to change everything from night to day. I didn't know what would be her reaction if she knew I was seeing someone, especially someone like Chester.

Not that Chester was a bad person, but he wasn't up to my mother's standards. At least, not the last time I checked. He has tattoos, piercings, and he is not a millionaire.

"I'll be right back," I told her, rushing to the door.

I looked through the peephole and there he was, beautiful as always.

I wanted to send him home without being rude, but I also didn't want my mother to meet him like that. My reaction was to open the door and speak in a low tone.

"Hey there, beautiful!" Chester said, leaning in and kissing me on the cheek. I immediately closed the door a little, praying that my mother didn't hear him.

"Now it's not a good time," I whispered to him, making him furrow his brows.

Every guest that I have in my house tends to snoop around and peak at whoever is at my door. And my mother is not an exception. Before I knew it, she had her hand in my door and opened it completely. She eyed Chester as if she was trying to identify the man in front of her, but she couldn't. She looked at me (narrowing her eyes when she noticed how blushed I was) and asked who that man was.

Chester spoke for me since I was out of words.

He held a hand for her - which she took - and he shook it gently.

"I'm Chester. I live next door."

"Ana, you never told me about Chester," she said with an implying tone in her voice.

"Uh -- I don't tell you everything, mom." Chester's face went pale, his blood fled his body. When he introduced himself, he wasn't expecting to be talking to my mother! I could see how nervous he became.

"Clearly," she huffed. "I was expecting you to share more things with me now. At least you could have told me you had a boyfriend."

"Chester is not my boyfriend," I replied as she turned around to go back to the living room. Chester stood there staring at me, bothered and confused. I turned to him and whispered to him to go back home, that I'll be there with him as soon as my mother went away. He didn't say anything. He just nodded and turned around, disappearing into his apartment.

As I saw the door closing behind us, I turned to my mother and she had her arms crossed.

"Ana Clemonte, do you have anything to tell me?"

"Uh -- no?" I said, trying to escape her gaze. I picked up my purse and checked if I had everything I needed inside.

"Ana..." She sighed, "I just want the best for you... That... man... have you seen his tattoos? And -- and those piercings. Are you sure he's not dru--"

"Mom!!!" I yelled at her, making her stop. "Stop judging people, stop being superficial. Chester is a good person, the best that I've ever met. He's the first person that I met when I moved here and he has been by my side ever since. He's a music teacher at the university but spends his free time with me."

"But, have you seen how he dresses up? That's not something a university teacher would do."

"If you don't stop talking about him like that, you can leave right now..." I didn't want her to go, but I couldn't stand her talking shit about him, without even knowing him. It's already enough hearing Chester badmouthing himself, I don't need anyone else doing it.

She seemed like she got the message and relaxed, nodding her head.

"I'm sorry, Ana. I just want the best for you," she said, walking to the door.

I sighed and followed her, leaving my apartment. My eyes landed on Chester's door and my heart tightened for a moment, hoping that he was feeling alright after my mother's rudeness. I tried not to think about it though, I knew I was just going to get mad at her and I didn't want to spoil the little time we had together. We had lunch together, we talked and I told her about my university application.

She asked me if I was sure that is was what I wanted, and when she heard me talking so passionately about it, she smiled, hugged me and said she couldn't be prouder.

When it was around 4 P.M., she left for her meeting and went back home to sleep a little until it was dinner time.

I text Chester to check if he wanted some company or something, but since he didn't answer, I thought that he was resting. So I made my way back to my apartment and slept a few hours until it was dinner time.  
  


***  
  


It was already time to leave, and Chester was nowhere to be seen. I sent him another text, asking if he was ready, but he didn't answer once again. My next move was to call him, but I got nothing too. It was odd, considering that he was the one that insisted on me to go with him, and he was late. Great!

I walked out of my apartment and knocked on his door. Sounds of T.V. could be heard through the wooden door, but he turned it off. I waited for him to walk to the door and open it for me, but there was only silence.

He was there, I knew he was. And for some fucking reason, he was ignoring me. _Again_.

My stubborn ass decided not to let him get away this time and I knocked on his door again. And, again, he ignored me. So, I knocked on his door without stopping. He was going to be irritated by the noise and he would open it, hopefully. And after a minute, he opened the door, not bothering to kiss me or allow me to come in. He just walked back to his apartment, leaving his door open.

I furrowed my brows, but followed him, asking myself a million questions about what did I do to make him act like that. Probably the answer was nothing, but you never know.

"Chester?" I talked, as I noticed that he was still using a tracksuit.

I knew he wasn't going out with me like that, he never does. He wasn't even ready for the party. Me, on the other hand, I picked a red body con dress with white snickers. Chester noticed how well it hugged my curves and there was something inside of him that made him want to take it off to see how beautiful my curves were.

He ignored that part of his thoughts and walked to his bedroom.

I walked in and watched him as he sat on the edge of his bed.

"Chester, come on. Not this again. Talk to me." He looked at me with his eyes narrowed, but (surprise, surprise) he didn't talk. "Good things happen when you open up to me. I'm not gonna yell or walk away. But this is the last time I'm asking you what bothers you, I'm going to stop doing that... It's getting annoying."

After a moment of silence, Chester sighed. "Why did you tell your mother that I am not your boyfriend?" He asked, taking me aback. _Probably because we never talked about it, and because I never wanted to label our relationship without having a proper conversation about how to call it._

"Uh, what should I have said?" I asked instead.

"I don't know," he simply said, laying on his bed with his naked and glorious tattooed chest exposed. I gulped as my eyes scanned his features. They never cease to amaze me and leave in awe.

There was a brief moment of silence.

"Does it bother you?"

"I don't know... It -- just hurt hearing your answer." He looked at me with his eyes glistering.

"We did agree to go slow... And I just didn't know what I should call what we have," I admitted.

"I don't know..." That was his answer before we became silent again.

I stood there in front of him, and he remained sitting on his bed. Like I promised. I'm not going to run after him every time he falls silent and decides to push me away from his mind. I'm not going to insist every time he doesn't want to talk. I have been really patient with him lately and I know that this is all new for him, but it is also new for me. I need his help to make this work, to know what the hell I should or shouldn't do.

He's just making things difficult every time he gives me the silent treatment.

I sighed in defeat and lowered my arms on each side of my body.

There was nothing left for me to do that and he wasn't going to talk, so, I decided to go away and leave him alone.

When I turned around, I heard his hoarse voice, barely audible. At first, I thought I was imagining things, but his voice makes me shivers every time I hear it, and that moment was no exception.

"Ana, do you want to be my girlfriend?"

"What?" I turned around with my eyes widened, trying to confirm if I really heard what I thought I heard.

Chester got up from the bed, his eyes locked on me with a nervous gleam behind them as if he was afraid of my answer. But despite his anxiety, he had the courage to repeat his question now that I was staring at him.

"I asked if you want to be my girlfriend. Do you?"

I smiled immediately at his humble posture, looking like a kid in school asking a girl out for the first time. He was nervous, I could feel it, but he had no reason to be. I was already his the moment we kissed. Girlfriend and boyfriend are just two common terms for everyone else.

"Yes, of course, I want to."

Chester didn't say anything else. His eyes suddenly darkened and my breathing itched. He got up from the bed and walked over me, eyes locking in mine, and no words coming out of his mouth. His height was superior to mine and when he approaches me I always have to look up because he basically towers me.

The way he walked over me felt intimidating. My body started trembling and I gulped hard, as I took a few steps. Not long after I felt something behind me, his desk where he keeps books and university's stuff. I looked back to see if I wasn't making a mess on his table, but I didn't have too much freedom to move because he grabbed my hips and kissed me hard.

His kiss was passionate but hungry.

His lips were warm and wet, and his tongue felt like I was in heaven.

It is curious how in sync we were since the very first kiss. It represented more than how we feel for each other. It's like you have this tension accumulated for too long, something burning in high temperatures, waiting to explode.

His hands wanted to hold me entirely at the same time. And though I was in his arms, he still did not believe it and feared that this dream would end at any moment, which would cause him so much pain and agony. And the time, the duration of the kiss, was the most insignificant factor. What we wanted was to put out that fire out inside ourselves.

Chester wanted to memorize how I felt totally trapped by him, against his desk. He wanted to remember the smell and texture of my neck, so he traveled down from my mouth to my neck and kissed it wildly.

His hands wandered down and reached for my tights. Then, in a swift movement, he pushed me up to sit on the desk, pulled my dress up a little so that he could fit perfectly between my legs. His hands grabbed me by my ass and he pressed himself harder against him. I hugged tightly, begging for the warmth of his body.

Chester's lips returned to devour mine. My hands seek to drown in his hair, slowly caressing its depth as we kissed. I bit his lower lip for a moment, teasing him. The outcome was so arousing: the way he moaned awakened something inside of me. I bit him again, a little harder this time and how sweet that pain was.

His hands left my back and slid down to my tights, slowly caressing the inner part. Every piece of skin he touched felt like I was burning. And when his hand started going up again, inside of my dress, I was in pure ecstasy.

I couldn't help but feel how tight his pants were growing. He was aching for being released from his confinement and my hands decided to grant him his wish. I fumbled with the button of his shorts, eager to feel him in a more intimate way. His hands found the zipper of my dress in my back and started pulling it down, very slowly in an almost painful way.

Our lips never broke the contact, not even to breathe. Our hearts were beating faster than they ever did and both of us were panting, completely out of breath.

Then, his hands traveled up to my shoulders, ready to pull the straps down. He broke the kiss, only to draw a line of gentle pecks all the way down to my neck and to my exposed shoulder.

I leaned my head back a little, shocked by how his lips aroused me that much. Shy moans left my mouth and Chester used it as a motivation to pull the dress even further down, almost exposing my bra. He bit and sucked my skin all of a sudden and I felt him smile when I gasped at his move.

He kept kissing, sucking and biting my neck and shoulders until he was feeling brave enough to go down. My skin was burning at each spot he kissed, but I needed more contact. The way he was kissing me all the way down to my breasts was driving me insane. My hands grabbed and pulled the roots of his hair once I felt his lips playing with the hem of my red bra.

Chester took his time to look me in the eyes as if he was asking for permission. Then, when he saw nothing but pleasure, his hands grabbed the bra cup and pulled it down, exposing the top skin of my breast, and slowly exposing my erect nipple.

I could feel his hot breath on it, and I arched my back in anticipation. And when I was milliliters from feeling his lips around my nipple, his phone started ringing, making us jump.

My heart was beating too fast, I felt my cheeks burning and I couldn't control my breath.

Chester ignored the ringing phone and threw himself at me, attacking my lips with the same ravishment as before.

"Chester," I tried to interrupt him, pushing him away with my hands on his naked chest.

He looked at me in the eyes, knowing that he should check his phone.

I smiled weakly at him and he sighed, grabbing his phone from his bedside table. He picked it up and walked over me again, finding his place between my legs again.

"Yeah?" I heard him muttering while he attacked my neck and left random bites. "Ok --" *bite* "Ok -- We'll be down in 5 minutes" *another bite and sucking* "-- Ok, bye."

He threw his phone to the bed and devoured my lips, his hands wandering my exposed back, teasing me by pulling the back of my bra. Then, he stopped, leaned his forehead against mine, both os us out of breath and with our lips swollen, and chuckled lightly.

"I want you," he muttered.

"Me too," I admitted.

Chester started nodding his head and closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. Then, he opened his eyes to look at me.

"You don't understand. I really -- really want you. More than anything... I don't want to scare you away, Ana, but you drive me insane," He nodded his head again, his forehead never leaving mine. He cupped my cheeks and planted a kiss on my lips, only to lean again against my forehead. "I should be more easy on you. I can't lose my control."

Suddenly, I felt alone and cold as I watched him run away to his bathroom.

I couldn't move. My makeup was probably ruined, like my hair. My dress was messed up. My heart wasn't slowing down. I was dizzy. But at the same time, I wanted him to continue. I wanted more of him. It's this natural instinct that commands all our desires and makes us feel things we never thought we would ever feel.

After a few minutes, Chester left the bathroom, all dressed up in his dark denim and his dark green t-shirt with matching Nikes.

His eyes landed on mine and brightened up. I was still in the same position he left me in. All messed up.

Chester smiled and approached me.

"Rob is out there waiting for us to give us a drive. You probably need help with that dress," he held a hand for me and helped me get down of the desk. His hands teased me as they landed on my hips and turned me around, my back brushing against him. He put my dress in the right places and pulled the zip up. Then, he grabbed my shoulders and turned me to him, brushing my hair down as it was before he ruined it.

He was killing me inside, and he knew it. What he didn't know was that he was playing with fire.  
  


***  
  


Rob was already waiting for us in the car, along with Dave.

The three of them talked all the way down to the bar, but I remained quiet in the backseat, looking out the window. Chester occasionally looked at me and smiled, knowing that I was burning inside.

When we got to the bar, I haven't spoken a single word. Each of the guys brought their girlfriends or wives and they introduced us all. Heidi - Joe's wife - was the most talkative, but she was very funny. Even though I was lost in my deep thoughts, she managed to bring me back to Earth and laugh a couple of times.

She got up from the seat and asked me and the rest of the girl to walk with her over the barman. Then, she asked for a few shots and paid, saying that we needed to have fun.

I stared at the small glass in my hand and made a grimace.

"Hey, come on. Drink it." Heidi said, grabbing my hand and pulling it up to my mouth. "Live a little."

I shrugged and drank it. Until the last drop.

"This is disgusting!" I laughed as I felt the strong flavor burning my throat.

"Well, you're going to need to drink more. After a few, it will taste like heaven," Heidi said.

"Yeah right. That's because you won't feel the taste anymore," Dave's wife, Lindsey, said.

They noticed that I was too well behaved and drinking was not my strongest feature, so they paid me for drinks, not letting me leave the bar for almost 30 minutes.

Chester kept a close eye to me, fearing that the girls could be pushing me too hard. But since he was watching me laugh and smile, he thought that maybe I was needing a little fun and a little rush in my life.

The girls dragged me to the dance floor, but since I was a little tipsy already, I didn't move much. They were dancing wildly, and I felt so out of my element.

Suddenly, I felt to hands grabbing my waist and turning me around so fast that I didn't have time to stop the man that was kissing me. I didn't want to stop though, I needed those lips on mine and those tattooed arms around me too much.

Chester noticed how uncomfortable I was in the middle of them, and that was the last thing he wanted. Besides, the way I was dressed in that red bodycon was driving him crazy just by watching how every man around me stared as if they wanted a piece.

"Can I ask the lady for a dance?" He asked after pulling away from my lips.

"Well, you're already dancing with me, so..." I said as he glued his body to mine and started swaying at the sound.

He smiled and rested his chin against the side of my face, feeling our bodies moving together in the middle of that wild dancefloor. His scent filled up my nose and since I was a little high from all the Vodka the girls have been giving me, everything was enhanced to me. So, I turned around and pulled his arms around my waist and over my belly. I brushed my ass against his crotch very gently, making him pay for teasing me before.

Chester approached his lips from my ears and whispered.

"What are you doing?"

I ignored him and made him tighten his grip around me, pressing my body harder against him. As I ground against him, I felt his shaft growing harder and his breathing getting uneven.

Chester couldn't help but kiss my exposed neck several times as we moved in the middle of the dancefloor. Everyone around us was having fun, not even paying attention to that tension building up all over again. If I was not as tipsy as I was, I wouldn't be doing that in public, but at the moment I didn't even care.

His hands started caressing my belly and my hips, pushing me against his crotch. His own hips were pressing against the fabric of my dress.

When his lips found my earlobe and sucked the right spot, I couldn't help but moan too loud for him to hear. He froze for a moment when he realized what he was doing to me: the way I was grinding against him, the way my skin was hot, and the way I moaned as his lips attacked my skin, he knew that I wanted him. He knew that he wasn't the only one aching for it.

He turned me around all of a sudden, his hands gripping me by my hips.

I noticed how dark his eyes were. Like he was a savage lion, watching his prey and waiting for the right moment to attack. He teased me once again, burying his face on the crook of my neck, biting and sucking my shoulder. He wanted to mark me, he wanted to make me his. So he sucked me hard. Then, he pulled away, kissed my lips aggressively and cupped my cheeks.

"Tell me you want it. Say it," he whispered in my ear.

"Yes... I want you, Chester. Please..." I begged him to fuck me! What on Earth was I thinking?

Chester groaned in frustration, stretched his neck to the side to make it snap and looked at me with a more contained expression.

"No... Not here... And not while you're drunk."

I gasped at his denial.

"I drank a little, but I am not drunk! I promise. And tomorrow I'll know exactly what I did today," I sounded a little too desperate. Maybe Nikki was right and I indeed need to get laid.

Chester eyed me, considering my answer. But then he nodded his head.

"Yet. I want you sober. I want you to feel everything that I can make you feel."

Still not satisfied with his answer, I leaned my forehead against his and grabbed him by his hips, pulling him closer.

"Don't you want me?"

He closed his eyes at the question. He did. He did want me, too much. He wanted to take me home, rip the dress off my body and take me with no mercy.And when I bit his neck and kissed him all the way up to his ear, Chester bit his lower lip and took a deep breath. Noticing his behavior, I sucked his earlobe hard and pressed my body against his.

Chester had to find the strength in the depths of his being to stop himself from what his wild self was telling him to do.

"Please, stop..." he said, closing his eyes as I sucked him harder.

"Take me home, Chester," I whispered in his ear.

"I want to -- oh -- fuck... I want to take to my bedroom and show you how much you make me crazy..." He grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me away a little. I looked him in the eyes, feeling my cheeks burning too much. "I will do it, Ana, but not tonight. Please, understand this."

I finally calmed down as I saw how he was struggling to keep it cool.

That's one of the things I like the most about him. He respects me and doesn't give in to everything that crosses his mind. He wants me to know that his feelings for me are not only wild and passionate, but they are also true and humble.

I nodded my head and looked down embarrassed.

Chester chuckled and pulled me to a tight hug. "Let's get you some fresh air, alright?"


	25. Casual Conversations

Not long after, Rob took us home. 

I fell asleep on Chester's shoulders and he couldn't help but delight himself at the sight.

When we got home, Chester helped me out of the car and said his goodbyes to his friends. Then, he grabbed me by my waist and walked me back to our building on the other side of the street.

"Can you get your keys?" Chester asked and I nodded, searching for them inside of my purse. I was a little dizzy, so it was a difficult task for me.

I finally found them and took them out, rocking them in the air as if I won a trophy.

"Ta-daaa," I said, making Chester chuckle.

He was the one that opened my door though. I couldn't find the keyhole on my door.

With his hands on my shoulders, Chester guided me to my room, sat me on my bed and kneeled in front of me. Then, he untied my snickers and placed them on the side of the bed. 

"Can you dress your pajamas? I'm not going to leave until you're ready to sleep, so..." 

I smiled at the heartwarming way he was treating me. Chester was the sweetest guy I have ever met. Unlike him, any other guy would have taken me to bed already, or wouldn't hesitate to take off my clothes. I felt so grateful for finding someone like him. So, I just nodded, took my pajama to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and combed my hair. Soon after I was back in my room and ready to sleep.

Chester pulled the sheets down for me and covered me when I was laying comfortably.

He planted a soft kiss on my cheeks.

"The guys want to have dinner tomorrow night. Pizza. Do you wanna go?"

I hummed a yes in response and he kissed me again, before leaving me to sleep. When he reached for the lights, he took his time to watch me fall to sleep almost instantly and for a moment he wanted to lay down by my side and hold me the whole night.

He smiled at the images in his head and turned off the lights.

***

I woke up the next day, my head was hurting like hell.

It took me some time to remember the last night, but I could remember everything that happened. And I mean, everything.

It was Sunday morning, though. I could sleep all day long until dinner time.

But when it was almost time for lunch, my phone went off.

"Hello?" I didn't even bother to look at the screen. The light hurt my eyes anyway.

"Hey, sleepyhead. How's that hangover?" Chester's hoarse but sweet voice awoke me all of a sudden. I even sat on the bed too quickly. I had to lie down, though, I felt stunned and everything started spinning around me.

"Too hard. I'm never drinking like that again!"

Chester laughed on the other side of the line.

"Everyone says that until the next time. Have you eaten anything?"

"No..."

"Good. Open the door for me then. No rush, I have time. I don't want your drunken ass fainting on the floor."

"Ha-ha, very funny," I said sarcastically and hung up the phone as I walked to the front door.

Chester was there with the phone on one hand and a McDonald's bag in the other. He smiled.

"You're probably too hungry to even make lunch. So, I bought us food."

My stomach growled loudly at the moment. The delicious fragrance of the french fries reminded me how starved I was. 

He chuckled and I turned around to walk back to the room. I was intending to spend my day there, and his visit changed nothing about my decision. Chester followed me quietly, with a mocking smile on his lips and sat on the bed by my side. 

We happily ate together, making small talk about my adventures with alcohol. I'm not the one to drink to much. Sure, I had my funny stories, but I never reached the level of drunkness like last night.

"What should we do today?" Chester asked after putting the bags and the napkins in the trash can.

"I would make indecent propositions for what we should do today, but my hangover doesn't let me," Chester chuckled, jumping back to the bed. He opened his arms and I rested my head against his chest, feeling every muscle in my whole body relaxing at his warmth. "Maybe we could make questions about ourselves and answer them. Things like what did you want to be when you were younger, or what are your aspirations in life."

Chester planted a kiss on the top of my head and brushed my hair with his fingers.

"Ok... You can go first then."

"Well, what did you want to be when you were younger?"

"I actually wanted to be a singer. That's why I joined the guys in school. And you?"

"I wanted to be a psychologist since I can remember. It's your turn."

Chester took his time to think and after a few seconds of silence, he spoke.

"If you were given three things to make you happy, what would they be?"

"That's hard... Uh -- I'd ask my grandfather back, I miss him too much. I'd be given -- uhm - more years of life for my Nanna. And... and I'd be the happiest if... if you were happy."

Chester's body tensed up for a while, but he relaxed almost immediately and kissed my head. His lips lingered there.

"Given that I have almost nothing in my life that I want to make me happy, I think all of my three options would be about you," he whispered, making me smile and feel sad at the same time.

I sighed and tried to think of a question to lighten up the mood.

"What were your favorite cartoons when you were younger?"

"Uh, maybe Dragon Ball?"

"Wise choice," I stated. "I love Vegeta! But I think I'm gonna go with Tom & Jerry."

"Tom & Jerry are the best! Too hardcore if you think about it, but the fucking best..."

"Now that I think about it, yeah, they are too hardcore. They basically set traps on each other, hit on each other - most of the times in a deadly way - but in the end, they can't live apart from each other. That's fucking deep shit right here."

Chester chuckled.

"It's your turn now," I told him. "I'm enjoying this too much."

"Ok, well, uh -- what is the thing - physically - that you love the most about you and the one that you hate the most."

"I love my hair, that's for sure," I immediately answered.

"I can see that. It's beautiful," Chester agreed, but there was so much more about me that he simply _loved_. 

"And the thing that I hate the most... hm... my legs?"

"WHAT? Why?" He suddenly jumped very confused by my answer. 

I was taken aback by his behavior but raised my head to look him in the eyes.

"I don't know. They are too thin, I guess."

"You must be out of your mind. They are the hottest legs I ever laid my eyes on."

I felt my cheeks burning and laid my head on his chest again.

"You're practically obliged to think like that. It's one of the perks of being my boyfriend," the word boyfriend made his heart skip a beat. He did ask me to be his girlfriend last night, but he hasn't had much time to think about it that way. Now he could introduce me to people as his girlfriend. It made him want to get out of the house and introduce me to someone new.

"I wasn't your boyfriend before and I thought the same way," he stated.

"Yeah, right. It's your turn. One thing you like the most and the thing you hate the most."

"I like my tattoos," he said, waving his flamed inked arm in front of us. "And I wish I could be more muscular."

"Well, you haven't shown me your body for me to answer you," I joked and heard him laughing.

"I can show you now if you'd like."

"I'd love to, but I prefer to see it any other time that I don't want to puke all the time like I am feeling right now."

We both chuckled but continued our question and answers' game. It allowed me to see another side of Chester that I don't usually see. I was so happy inside, not only because we're together, but also because I haven't seen the depressed and sad Chester that I met since day one. I haven't seen the darkness that usually hovers his angelic body. And thinking that I was the reason for that, made me want to be better for him.

"What is the craziest thing you've ever done and would you do it again?"

Chester smiled and hugged me tightly to his body.

"The craziest thing definitely was exchanging notes under the door with my new neighbor. And I would do it over and over again."

"That's not crazy," I said, looking up at him. "That's the best thing that happened to me. I'm not sure if the craziest thing I've ever done was leaving home as I did, or last night."

"Last night?" Chester furrowed his brows.

"Yeah... Uh -- in your room... the alcohol I drank at the bar... our little moment on the dancefloor," I cleared my throat, embarrassed as I recalled those moments. I was so drunk, fuck...

"Yeah, it was crazy... And I'm surprised that you remember." Chester muttered. "I liked it, though."

It was my time to furrow my brows at him.

"It was a new side of you that I've seen before," he finished.

"And how's that good? I was completely drunk."

Chester nodded his head. 

"Not the drunk part. The other things that happened."

A moment of silence fell upon us and looking at his eyes was becoming so unbearable that I had to look down again, resting my face on his chest. I muttered something like an _I'm sorry,_ but Chester ignored it.

We remained in silence for a little longer. I felt like I had to say something, though.

"I never acted like that before," Chester didn't say anything, because he didn't think I did anything wrong. On the contrary, he thought that I could do that more often. "I never felt this way about anyone before, either. I mean... the way I acted, what I wanted to do... I never, ever felt that way towards anyone before. It's like... I don't know. Like you awake something inside of me."

Chester was dying inside. He felt the same way. Or even more. He felt things that he never thought he would feel. Things that he wasn't sure at first, and then wanted to fight them. I'm too important to him and he doesn't have the courage to say how much. He was glad, though. Glad that at least one of us was able to speak up openly.

"I'm sorry... I'm talking about things that I probably shouldn't."

Chester grabbed my face and pulled me up to look at him in the eyes.

"You should talk about everything you want to talk about. And I do feel the same."

I smiled at him and he planted a gentle kiss on my lips. His hands rested on my hips, pulling me closer to his body. With a stronger movement, he moved me to be on top of his body and I parted my legs, trapping him in between.

The kiss became more fervent and my lower body started grinding against him, all by itself.

"Baby --" he tried to speak, breaking the kiss. "As much as I love watching you on top of me, you should get ready. It's almost dinner time."

I rolled my eyes at him and hopped out of the bed. Chester's eyes followed me all the way to the bathroom. I searched my drawers for clothes and my wardrobe, and he just studied every feature s of my body. When his eyes fell on my legs, he couldn't help but roll his eyes. He thought that I was out of my fucking mind when I said that I don't like my legs. They were perfect in his eyes. Beautiful. As everything on my body.

When I walked to the bathroom, he tilted his head to the side, admiring the way my ass swung inside the thin fabric of my pajamas. He even bit his lower lip to contain everything he was feeling at the moment. Chester wanted to jump out of the bed and run after me to the bathroom. To help me undress and wash my body with my shower gel and a sponge.

His mind traveled further and he had to sit on the edge of the bed to stop himself. He walked to the living room and opened the window to feel the fresh air. But, unluckily for him, the night was warm, since summer was arriving.

Not 15 minutes later, I was back.

I was dressed casually, but I looked beautiful with no effort, Chester thought to himself.

"Let's go?" I said, snapping him out of his world.

"Yeah -- Yeah."

***

When we arrived at the pizzeria, Dave, Rob, Joe, and Brad were already there waiting for us, along with their women. Apparently, Dave was going back to Texas. His wife got a wonderful job proposition and they decided to let go of everything and move away. They did promise they would visit often and whenever they're back, they would give us a call and we would go out together.

The waitress gave us the menu and we chose our food. I ordered a Hawaiian pizza, with pineapple - yeah, I like pineapple on my pizza - which led to a discussion about people that like cooked pineapple. I don't understand with it is such a controversial subject and why is there so many people disgusted by people who love pineapple in their pizzas. I mean, you don't want it, don't eat it.

Chester became a little quiet when Dave announced that he was going to move.

He just found his old friends and one is already parting away. It made him sad, afraid that one by one disappears from his life again.

We ate pizza, making small talk about random stuff. We all mocked Rob because he ate his pizza and half of Dave's wife pizza. They told about Rob's urges to eat all the time but always stays so thin. In school, he even stole food from the cafeteria without the cookers noticing him. The rest of the guys were able to distract them while he robbed the food.

When Chester said he needed to go to the bathroom, all the conversations ceased when he closed the bathroom door behind him. All of them turned their heads to me immediately and spoke in a lower tone.

"How's he doing?" Brad asked.

"Fine, I guess..." I said, furrowing my brows at their behavior.

"Are you sure?" Rob asked, stroking his beard. "It's just... we know what he went through and now that we were able to make him go out with us again, we have no idea of how to help him. We can't let him break down again."

"Well, if you want to help, you can make Mike stop bothering him," I said, knowing that they all knew Mike very well. If they were all friends, maybe they were able to make him stop for good, or at least talk to him and try to push him away.

They all widened their eyes.

"Mike?" Dave whispered.

"Mike's here?" Rob asked in shock and I nodded.

"Yes, and he's been harassing Chester every time he sees him. I had to intervene a few weeks ago when he showed up at our building, shouting at his door."

"What the fuck is wrong with him? Isn't enough what happened?" Brad grumbled.

"I don't know what happened. Chester hasn't told me yet," I noticed them gasping and moving uncomfortably in their seats. "I don't pressure him into telling me anything, he is doing it slowly. I just want to help him and I think he is getting better. I mean -- he went to his phycologist again and he is trying. I don't know... he seems better to me."

"He seemed better the other times and look at what he ended up doing..." Dave said, earning a slap on his neck from Rob.

"Shut up," he whispered.

"What? What are you talking about?" I asked with my eyes furrowed. I had no idea what they were talking about and at this point, I was too scared to even what to know.

At that moment, the bathroom door opened and Chester got out. He narrowed his eyes when he arrived at the table because we were all quiet and looking down. 

Eventually, they started talking and I sighed in relief. I didn't open my mouth anymore though, casually nodding my head and smiling at jokes. Chester noticed my change of behavior, he was the one that often changed like that, not me. And he knew that something happened when he was in the bathroom. He didn't ask, though. He decided that he wouldn't want to know.

Under the table, I felt his hand crawling up and clunch my hand. He stroked it gently with his thumb and I smiled weakly at him, turning my face to the rest of the group, pretending that I was listening, even though I was lost in my thoughts. I wanted to know what the hell Dave was talking about but I was worried about the answer.

When we left the pizzeria, we said our goodbyes. Dave hugged Chester for too long, whispering encouraging words to each other. He made Chester promise to take care of himself and to never push them away as he did in the past.

"... and make sure you keep this woman in your life. I don't know if you already noticed, but she might be the one for you. Think about it," Dave said those words and I immediately blush. "Besides, she must be special or maybe crazy, otherwise she wouldn't date an asshole like you."

"Fuck you," Chester said, smiling and pulling me to his arms. 

"I mean it. Keep her," he said, making Chester's smile fade away a little. He nodded at Dave as if he was saying that it was his intention and planted a kiss at the top of my head. "I don't know who chose this restaurant, but you fucking nailed it! I think I'm going to miss more these pizzas than all of you together."

"Liar," Rob said punching him in the arm. "You'll call the time. I know you too fucking well."

"Yeah... I'm gonna miss you guys," Dave said, pulling the guys to a group hug.

The rest of the girls and I stood there watching the 5 grown-up men that shared a long history saying goodbye to one of them. It was sad to watch, but soothing at the same time. Chester had found his friends - his real and true friends. If for some reason he's not able to keep me in his life, at least I know that he has someone to take care of him. Someone who loves him and takes care of him.

And that was enough to make me smile.


	26. Hurt

Chester sent me a text message that morning, asking me to have dinner with him at his house. He offered himself to cook. Obviously, I accepted and there I was, knocking on his door after a long day of work. Janice and I have been busy taking care of everything for the University's ceremony, which is almost there. Chester, on the other hand, has been busy from early morning to late night, rehearsing, every day of that week. That night, he dismissed his pupils so they can rest at least a day, and so that he could spend time with me.

"Hi," he said calmly, kissing my temples as he gestured me to walk in.

"Hey, I didn't know you were going to be home at this hour. I was surprised when I received your text," I admitted, even though I couldn't be happier that Chester managed to find time to be with me.

He walked to his small kitchen and I couldn't help but release a small moan due to the heavenly smell that hovered that house. I don't know what the hell he was cooking but it smelled delicious. Besides that, what amused me the most was the beautiful table set for two, a slender candlestick with three white candles burning so beautifully.

I smiled at the view and followed him to the kitchen.

"The students needed to rest," he said, too focused on the task he was performing. "And I wanted to be with you, so..."

When he turned around there was a delicious roasted chicken with baked potatoes and some vegetables.

"That looks absolutely delicious."

"Let's see how it tastes, shall we?" He smirked, placing the steaming pot on the table. Then, he walked to my chair, pulled it away from the table and offered me the seat. Only then he walked to his chair and sat comfortably.

"So..." With a simple black v-cut t-shirt and some dark red pants that embraced his ass too well, Chester could be the most stunning man in the whole world. He doesn't need too much to make me melt, and when he looks at me with those doe-brown-eyes, I feel like the floor slides away from my feet and I just float. It feels like an angel is looking at me and I feel at peace. I cleared my throat, trying not to stare at him too much. "How're the rehearsals going?"

"Great... We are trying some new things... I'm trying new things..." He replied nervously. "I think you're going to like it."

"Why?"

"You'll see."

He smiled shyly and redirected his eyes to his plate, playing with his fork.

I narrowed my eyes at him but decided not to be pushy. He really got me curious about that party and his show, though.

"What about the decoration part?" He suddenly asked. "Are you handling it well? I know it's a lot of work for so little time, but I thought you could need that amount of money."

"Oh, we're handling it, don't worry. I'm actually enjoying what I'm doing. I always liked flowers and gardening, but I never thought I'd like it this much."

"That's good to hear..."

An awkward silence fell upon us, but Chester decided to break it.

"Rob called. They invited us to a party, for the weekend after the next."

"What's up with them and the parties?" I joked.

"I have no idea. They have been like this since... since we were younger," Chester suddenly became quiet and pensive, like he was lost in painful memories. His eyes can't lie to me anymore, it's almost as if I know his body language and I can perceive when some subject is sensitive for him.

"Chester... I don't want to spoil this diner, but I need to ask you something."

"Should I be afraid?" He asked, muffling a laugh in his throat.

I smiled weakly at him.

"When we had pizza with your friends, they waited for you to go to the bathroom and started throwing questions at me about how you were doing, and stuff like that. Do they know about... ya know... your depression?"

He stared at me with no reaction, as if he didn't hear me.

Suddenly he was snapped away from his own world and he was back to me.

"Yeah, yeah, they know. They tried to help me a few years ago, but... I pushed them away. I -- I never thought it would be possible to be saved..."

I nodded my head, knowing that was the best I was gonna get. My hand caught his on top of the table and squeezed it, as a gesture of support. Chester's eyes lightened up as he understood that I wasn't going to ask more questions about such a sensitive subject. 

"I brought ice cream for dessert. We can move to the couch," Chester said after a long period of silence. I noticed something changing in his endeavor and couldn't help but point it out.

"Are you alright?" I asked, walking to the couch while he was searching for the ice cream pot. He approached me almost immediately with two spoons and a cup of Bens&Jerry, my favorite.

"Yeah, I am," Chester said, narrowing his eyes as he sat by my side. He turned to me and looked me in the eyes. "For the first time in my life, I can say that I am alright -- at least, I feel alright."

"Chester..." I was about to speak - I have no idea what - but Chester interrupted me.

"Let me just..." he whispered. It was like he wanted to talk but was trying to gather the courage to speak up. "I felt like shit before... But most of the times, it wasn't, or it isn't just sadness... It's emptiness, you know? I felt hopeless, lost, stressed... When I slept it wasn't really to rest. It was... a way to escape reality. And, trust me, I slept so much... so, so much... and no matter how much I slept, I woke up tired and beaten up all the time... I thought that I had some kind of problem with sleeping. But in the end, I realized that it wasn't my body that was tired... It was my soul."

"I want to take that pain away..." I whispered, cupping his cheek with my hand. I brushed the tear that strolled down his face, caressing his skin with my thumb. Chester closed his eyes and smiled, feeling my tender touch.

"You're already taking it away, Ana," he admitted.

I couldn't stay away longer. Placing the ice cream and the spoons away, I sat on his lap, straddling my legs behind his waist. I cupped both his cheeks with my hands, forcing his charming brown eyes to look at me. They were shining so much and I was able to see the brown of them, even in the dim light of the candles. I leaned in and barely touched his lips with mine, brushing our skins together. Chester licked his lower lip in anticipation, in a silent invitation for me to bring our lips together again. Then, with my fingers tangled in the roots of his hair, I pulled him to me and devoured his lips in a passionate kiss. The sweetness of our mouths was a delight of sensations, of stored pleasures where a simple kiss is not enough to satisfy our secret desires.

"I... I want to take it all away..." I rustled, out-of-breath when I pulled away for air. "Tell me what I need to do..."

He bit my lower lip with such deliberate boldness, hearing a soft whimper of pleasure escaping my mouth, making his excitement painfully sensual. Our tongues danced with each other in an urgent, warm and wet way. Breaking the kiss for a split of a second, he was only able to whisper.

"Be mine."

With one swift movement, he threw me to the couch and lay his body on top of mine, thanking the gods for the wonderful woman they allowed him to have under him. My lips felt like silk against his, but he wanted a taste of my skin. So, he left my swollen lips and traveled down to my neck, biting the burning skin that was aching for his touch.

His hips ground more aggressively against my core, and his hands left all the shyness outside the door, wandering the sides of my body all the way down to my hips. It was like he was finally giving in to that unspoken aggressive feeling of sexual frustration which has been haunting us in our wildest thoughts. His long smooth fingers unbuttoned my jeans and wasted no time. They opened my pants and traveled down to my panties, to feel the warmth of my sweet spot. I took a deep breath, enjoying that unknown pleasant sensation of his touch, and suddenly started panting as his hand rubbed vigorously my underwear. 

Chester's lips intensified its kisses on my shoulders, planting a trail of burning kisses all the way down to my chest...

A sudden urgent knock on his front door startled us both. He jumped back from me, sitting on the couch as I tried to control my breathing. Being around him is getting more intense, and I don't think I can control my desires anymore. 

Chester looked at me with a frustrated but apologetic look and straightened his clothes. There was a huge bulge in his pants that he was finding hard to conceal. He pulled his shirt down to hide it and walked to the door, taking deep breaths in the process. Meanwhile, I buttoned my pants and tried to comb my hair with my fingers.

When he opened the door, I recognized the person behind the shouting.

"What the hell have you been doing, you fucker? I've been worried sick about you!" Rene's voice echoed through the apartment's walls as she made her way to the apartment. She furrowed her brows when she noticed the candles lit at the table. "I've been trying to call you for two days!!!"

I lifted my body from the couch, knowing that my blushed face and my still messed up hair would give me in. 

"Hi," I said shyly.

Rene froze and the realization hit her face, melting her deranged and worried expression.

"Oh --" she said, eyeing me. "OH! I -- I'm so sorry for interrupting."

"You were not interrupting anything," I said immediately.

"Yeah, right," she said in a mocking tone, rolling her eyes.

Chester turned to her, slightly embarrassed by the situation.

"What do you want?" He asked with a pissed off and frustrated tone.

"Excuse me? Mind your tone! I've been trying to reach you for two days and you didn't answer the phone, nor called me back. For a moment I thought that something happened to you... like the last time..." she immediately stopped because she didn't want to tell me more than Chester himself wasn't ready to tell. She didn't know what I knew or not, so she had to be careful.

I furrowed my brows at her sudden silence and looked at Chester, who glanced at me but turned his eyes to Rene again.

"Nothing happened, you don't need to worry about me."

"Don't give me that bullshit! I worry about you and you know goddam why," she scolded him immediately. "If you don't want to give me a sparring key, at least give one to your girlfriend. Someone needs to have a way to enter this apartment. _Just in case_."

There was an awkward silence in the apartment and, even though I was dying inside to know what the hell she was referring to, I know that Chester has been doing fine. I still don't know what the hell happened to him, but that broken and dark neighbor I met a few months ago is basically nonexistent. At least, not when he's with me.

"I -- I might be the reason why he hasn't called you back... We've been together in my apartment all the time, so..."

Rene looked at me in shock, then looked at her brother who was all flustered, and then, back at me with a devilish smirk.

"Ok, then... Everything's all right... I should go then," she said, walking to the door. Chester started walking behind her to let her out, but she stopped him. "I know my way out. You can continue your makeout session that I interrupted."

"Shut up!" Chester whispered angrily.

"I hope you use protection. I'm too young to be an aunt," she said disappearing through the front door.

We both gawked at the closed door for too long.

"Unbelievable," Chester muttered. He turned to me and narrowed his eyes. "She's incorrigible. I'm sorry."

I forced a smile to my lips and nodded my head, not being able to speak at the moment. Chester sat by my side and pulled me his arms, embracing me while his hand stroked my head. We remained in silence for a while, but inside my head were too many thoughts that were making it hard not to explode.

"Chester," I called him and he hummed. "I need to ask you something, and I need you to be completely honest with me."

Hearing the anxiety behind my words made him snap away from his thoughts and turn his head in my direction. He furrowed his brows when he saw how serious and pale I was. He noticed this change earlier, but since I didn't say anything, he decided not to ask. But this made him worry. Lately, he's been wondering what the hell have I seen in him and he truly believes that one day I'm going to wake up and realize how stupid I am for wasting my time with a piece of trash like him -- and that I'm gonna break up with him. He didn't know if he could handle it, but he was preparing himself for what he thought was inevitable.

Every time he noticed something changing in my behavior, or when I wanted to talk to him about something serious, he thinks _This is it. She's going to leave me._ But I never do. So he remains with his empty dogmas, waiting for me to dump him.

"Your sister talked to you about something that bothered me..."

"You can ask..." he said, somewhat unsure if he really wanted me to ask.

"When she talked about the sparring key..." he closed his eyes, knowing exactly where the conversation was going. "She's afraid you might do something, isn't she?"

He was quiet, with his eyes closed and his head leaned against the back of the couch.

Then, after a moment, he opened his mouth without moving or looking at me.

"Yes, she is."

"Why? Does she have any reason to think that way? Do I have any reason to think like that too?" I asked at once.

His eyes snapped open and he turned to me immediately.

"No --- God, no! Nothing is going to happen, alright? I promise," I opened my mouth to speak, but he pulled me closer to his arms and rocked me back and forth. "Shh... I don't want to talk about this, please. But I promise nothing is going to happen to me."

My body relaxed in his arms, but my mind was racing with awful thoughts, awful images. I wanted to stop it, but I couldn't. The idea of something happening to him was simply horrifying to me. I wasn't even able to breathe just by thinking about it and Chester's scent wasn't making soothe.

I pulled away from his embrace and noticed the shock registered on his face.

"Uhm - I'm tired, I should go home and get some sleep."

"Yeah, ok... I - uh -- ok. See ya tomorrow?" He seemed bothered by my will to get away from him. He couldn't blame me though. He would run away from himself if he could.

"Yes, absolutely," I kissed him quickly on his lips and got out of his apartment. 

The fresh air that always hovers the corridor calmed me down a little. I took a deep breath before entering my apartment, hoping that I'm gonna have a good night of sleep. Something caught my attention, though. There was a small note on the floor with a phone number and a message.

_Call me._

_\- Rene._

***

The next day, Chester showed up at the flower shop when I was about to leave. I gasped when my eyes met his shiny orbs through the glass, and he smiled warmly, giving me no chance but blush. He entered the shop and Janice's eyes immediately lifted from her work to the man at the entrance. 

Analyzing our complicit smiles, she immediately understood who the man was.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to keep it low so that Janice didn't hear our conversation. I know she would be waiting for the first opportunity to mock me.

"I came to pick you up for a walk," he said, smiling and watching at the flowers around us. 

"You're lucky, then. I was just leaving, you would miss me if you showed up a few minutes later," he didn't say anything, just smiled at me. It felt like he was bewitched whenever his eyes landed on mine. He would just smile, stay quiet and zoom out. "I'll get my stuff. I'll be right back."

I turn around and went to the private room behind the counter where Janice was working. She followed me with her eyes and when I disappeared, she looked at Chester and smiled.

"Chester, right?" She said, earning an ear-to-ear smile from Chester. She liked him already, just by noticing how the man smiled so lovely around me.

"Yes, ma'am. And I suppose you are Janice," she nodded her head. Chester approached her, took her hand and kissed her knuckles. She felt herself blushing a little, understanding why I was so enamored by the tattooed-man. "Ana told me a lot about you."

"Good things, I hope," she said, making Chester chuckle. "She told me about you too."

For a while Chester stiffed, afraid of what I might have said, but then he shook those thoughts away because he trusted me and he knew that I wouldn't tell anyone about his fucked-up life.

"She's very fond of you, you know? She talks about you all the time and you do seem a nice person like she paints you. I hope you take care of her, she deserves it."

"She does... I'll do my best, ma'am," Chester said in a serious tone.

"Please, no ma'am. Call me Janice."

"Janice," he repeated.

We left the store not soon after and I noticed how pensive my boyfriend seemed. He was oddly quiet, for someone who was eager to take a walk with me.

"Did Janice give you a hard time when I was gathering my stuff?" I asked, trying to break the silence and whatever thoughts that were bothering him.

"Oh -- no. She's lovely," he said, smiling. 

My voice seemed to wake him up from some kind of trance as he stopped, wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him. I looked up at him and he leaned in, giving me a mindblowing kiss. His lips moved eagerly and his tongue forced its way inside of me, brushing fiercely against mine. His hands pulled my hair behind my head and I released a moan.

When he pulled away and I opened my eyes, I felt lightheaded.

"Wow," I muttered. "What was that for?"

"I don't know, I just needed a taste," he said, brushing the tip of his nose against mine and snaking his arm around my waist to pull me to him.

"You do know we're in public, right?" I chuckled when he widened his eyes in realization and pulled away.

"I have something for you," Chester said, handing me a wrapped gift. I looked at him in confusion as he handed me the object. I tore the wrapping paper, revealing a pen. Not just any pen. A Parker. My favorite. "It's no big deal. I heard you talking to Dave's wife that you liked those and... It's an encouraging gift for when you start school and... for you to think about me when you're studying or not to forget me when you meet new people..."

"Aw... this is so beautiful, Chester. Thank you," I cupped his cheeks and pulled him to a kiss. "But I would never forget you."

"I don't know," we started walking again. My arm was intertwined with his, and I was contemplating the beautiful pen. "You're going to meet new people, and -- I don't know. You might find someone... interesting."

"Chester," I said firmly and he looked at me. "Shut up, you doof. I lo-ike you, I really like you..." I felt a knot inside my stomach and swallowed hard, hoping that he didn't understand what happened. "There's no one else that I want more than you."

"You say that now..." he muffled a sad laugh, looking at the ground as we walked through the streets of Phoenix.

I know that whatever I reply to him wouldn't make a difference. He had his mind already set with the idea that someone will show up and snatch me away from him. As much as I told him on the contrary, he won't change his mind. So I remained quiet, admiring my beautiful Parker pen.

Chester couldn't help but smile slightly at the image, there was a clear satisfaction on my face as I analyzed the pen.

Eventually, we ended up entering a restaurant to have dinner together, and after that, Chester wanted to take me to the movies. The new Joker movie was in the exhibition and he knew that I'd love to watch it. He also knew that I wouldn't let him see it since the critics show that the movie has a great effect on vulnerable people. He didn't care, though. All he cared about was to make me happy.

During dinner, he spoke about the movie and as expected I refused. I told him I would go see it with Nikki, but I'd never make him see such strong movie. I read that the movie is a slow-burn strategy that shows the psyche of the man who would become the Joker, making you sympathize with his miserable and degrading life. 

Chester insisted so much that I ended up bending my decision. I said that we would decide once we get to the movies. Obviously, I'd choose another movie to watch with him. And as time flew, we found ourselves overanalyzing our own society and how it can make anyone crazy. We dive into our conversations and it takes a lot to bring us back to the real world.

When we left the restaurant, we were hugged and laughing at some random stuff. I planted a soft kiss on his cheek but I noticed how his chuckle ceased so suddenly and how his body stiffed. My smile faded away and I looked at his face, realizing that he had his eyes widened and glued to something in front of us. I turned my face and I gasped in realization.

_Mike_.

"Why do I see you everywhere I go?" I asked clearly bothered by his presence.

"Oh, princess. Come on. I missed you. I haven't seen you since our little encounter on the muffin shop a few weeks ago," my body tensed up. I haven't told Chester about it, I hope he doesn't get paranoid. 

"You're an asshole," I said rolling my eyes, pulling Chester by his arms to go away. We were going to the movies and I didn't give up on that yet.

"You haven't told her yet, have you?" Mike said with a wicked tone. Chester didn't answer but widened his eyes at him. Whatever happened between them, I never see Chester acting like he acts when Mike's around. He becomes quiet, cold, distant like his soul left his body. He doesn't even react to Mike's provocations.

"Could you stop harassing him? Should I call the police? Leave us alone, for fuck's sake."

"Why? I'm having too much fun," he said, tucking a strand of hair away from my face. I flinched and slapped his hand away making him laugh. I felt Chester's body tense up and I noticed how angry his body posture seemed.

"Fuck you!" I yelled, taking my phone in my hands. "I'm calling the cops."

"Ana," I heard Chester talk for the first time. I looked up at his desperate's expression. "Don't."

"Chester, he's crossing all the lines. He --"

"No! Let's go home!" He interrupted me abruptly and aggressively, taking me aback. 

Mike widened his eyes at Chester's reaction, not expecting that outburst out of someone that barely speaks when he provokes him. Then he started laughing, getting my attention. Chester's eyes didn't leave me though.

"I'd break up while you have time, princess. Think about spending time with someone more worthy," Mike said before leaving us alone in the street. 

When I looked at Chester, he was staring at me with an unreadable but scary expression that sent shivers down my spine. There was no light, no shine in his eyes. It was like his soul really left his body for good and he was nothing but a cold body with nothing else to live for. I furrowed my brows and felt the need to comfort him. So, I reached for his shoulders slowly, intending to brush them. His reaction made me gasp in shock - he flinched and jumped back at the contact. Like I wanted to hurt him or like he feared me.

I widened my eyes at him and whispered his name.

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO TALK WHEN YOU ONLY NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP???" He yelled before lowering his voice to an angry and venomous whisper. "I'm sick of having you sticking your nose in other people's business. Why don't you get a fucking life, instead of trying to fuck other people's life, huh?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but the overwhelming feeling that was taking over me made me gulp. I swallowed hard and the tears that were blurring my vision finally rolled down my cheeks.

I noticed that the moment he spoke those hostile words, he regretted them. His deadpan expression turned into a troubled one, shocked at his own ability to hurt me. He never meant it, but sometimes he feels like he is trapped in his own body, and someone very wicked takes over, making him do terrible things to himself, making him think about untrue things, that the world was better off without him, that no one would care if he disappeared, or that I'd leave him if I knew the whole truth. As much as he tries to get rid of that other person inside of him, he gets angry and expresses whatever goes through his maddening mind. He doesn't mean any of the stuff he says at those moments. Not one bit.

My broken expression was what fucked him up the most. And knowing it was his fault, wasn't helping.

I took a step back, away from him, closed my jacket and hugged myself before walking away.

"Ana!"I heard him calling. "Where are you going?"

I ignored him completely, feeling too pained to even look him in the eyes. I am very well aware that Chester is a tormented soul, and I knew it wouldn't be easy to have a relationship with someone like him, someone depressed and with a dark past that I know nothing about. But I never thought that he'd turn against me.

_Why?_ Why would he say those things to someone he calls _girlfriend_? Someone who's been there for him since the beginning, without asking anything in return but consideration and respect.

He crossed the line there. He crossed a hard line that I won't forget easily. Only if I could understand why he is the way he is, maybe I would be able to know how to deal with these moments. But he doesn't even try to tell me or to let me in. I don't know if I'm going to be able to maintain a relationship where there's this big secret that affects the way my supposed boyfriend treats me.

Whatever the answer was, I wasn't able to look at him at the moment. So, when I noticed that he walked behind me, I ran as fast as I could, as if someone was trying to get me.

Chester froze in the middle of the street, knowing that he screwed for real this time and there was nothing he could do to amend things. I was running away from him, just as he predicted.

I can't remember the last time I cried that hard against my own pillow. Alone in my dark bedroom. Tiredness took over me without warning and I fell asleep, beaten by sadness.

Chester walked aimlessly through the streets for half an hour, trying to clear his mind. When he picked his phone to call me, he panicked. His hands were shaking and he was sobbing in the middle of the street. Through his tears, he managed to find another's person number and pressed the green button, knowing it was wrong to bring another person to his problems.

After a few times of ringing, a tired voice could be heard.

"Chester? It's almost midnight, honey. Is everything alright?" 

He clenched the phone and sobbed.

"Rene --- I fucked up. _Again_."

"What happened? Are you ok? Are you hurt?"

"No -- but I hurt Ana. God --" he sobbed even more. For a moment he thought he heard his phone crack since he was tightening his grip. He told his sister everything that happened that night. She scolded him for not telling her Mike was back in his life but also told him that she was going to help him.

"Listen to me. You go home, take a hot shower and go to bed. Drink a chamomile tea or something to relax. Sleep. I'll talk to her tomorrow morning. She's hurt and she has every right not to be with you right now. It doesn't mean that she's breaking up with you. Shit happens, Ches. Let her be, for now -- give her space. Go home."

"I can't -- she's right next door... I -- I need to see her."

"Chester. Let her be alone. Go home and sleep. I promise you that everything will be ok."

He didn't respond, but he knew Rene was right. He had to give me some space.

"You have to apologize to her... You'll need to tell her the truth about Mia, Chester. You know that, right? If you truly want her in your life, you'll need to talk about everything. You need to open up."

"But... if I expose my heart... I could be hurt."

"Newsflash, honey, life's like that. But it's worth the risk."


	27. Ups and downs, but always end up together

I felt nothing when I woke up the next morning. The ringing tone of my phone woke me up, and I prayed that it wasn't Chester so early in the morning, otherwise, I'd be even more pissed off.

Rene was on the ID.

I glanced at the clock. _7:21 A.M._

I let out a groan and yawned.

"Hello?" I grumbled, massaging my eyelids.

"Ana? I'm sorry to wake you up, honey."

"Did Chester asked you to call me?" I went straight to the point. There was no need to circle around the reason for her phone call.

"Yes. He called me yesterday, it was almost midnight. He was in the middle of the street, crying so much..." I felt a tear running down my cheek.

"Is he safe at home?" I asked, my heart tightening at the thought of Chester roaming through the streets like that.

"Yes," I heard her smiling through the phone. Even though he hurt me, I couldn't help but worry about him. "I told him to go straight home, that I'd talk to you for a while to make sure you were alright. Are you? Alright?"

"I don't know..." I breathed out, exhaling the air I had trapped inside of my lungs.

"I'm so sorry, Ana... I love my brother with all my heart, but he can be so hard... It's frustrating, really."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"You know he didn't mean any of what he said, right?"

"I know. Which is worse for me, Rene. He said it to hurt me. If he really thought that way, at least he would be telling me the truth. But he lied, he lied to hurt me. And he did it."

"Chester uses that as a defense mechanism. If he hurts you first, you can't hurt him with the same intensity."

"I understand. I know him better than he intends."

Someone rang my bell suddenly. My first thought was Chester, obviously.

"Did he told you he was coming here this morning?"

"I told him not to. Why?"

"Someone rang the bell."

I heard Rene groaning on the other side of the line.

"I'm sorry - I told him to give you some space. Please, don't push my brother away, he needs you. He is so much better now that he has you. You have no idea..." She hesitated, sighing deeply again. "I wish he told you what happened so that I can talk to you openly... Please, I beg you. I'll beat his ass if he hurt you again, but please, don't leave him."

"Hey," I said with a weak smile on my face as I walked to the door. "I'm not thinking about breaking up with him. But he needs to learn that he can't treat me like that and expect me to be ok with it because he has problems."

"I know... And I'm all in favor of punishing him and teaching him a lesson. But he was really messed up last night. I bet he didn't sleep one bit. I think he had his lesson learned when he saw you running away..."

"He told you that?"

"Between sobs -- yeah. It broke him."

I stood at the door and peeked through the peephole. It was him, just as I presumed. Before opening the door, I told Rene that I'd call her back later. Then, I narrowed my eyes when I looked at him with a wounded expression.

"May I come in?" He said with a shaky voice that made my heart tight. I shrugged and turned my back on him, leaving the door open.

I turned on the coffee machine with my back turned to him the whole time. I did everything I could not to look at the man that my heart ached too much for.

"Ana," he said, as he noticed how I was avoiding him. He placed his hands on my hips and turned me around, confining me against the counter as he did many nights ago. "Look at me. I need to see how I hurt you."

It pained me to see him punishing himself that way. He fucked up, yes, but this is too much for me to bear.

"I'm so, so sorry, Ana. I'm an idiot and I don't deserve someone as perfect as you. I lived in deep shit before you, and now I never felt so... complete. You complete me..." he paused for a moment, contemplating every feature of my face in awe. "I like you. _A lot. _But I'm not the right man for you, Ana. You deserve so much better... Someone who doesn't hurt you as I do. And do it all the time."

"That's not true," I cried, scared of what he was attempting to do. _Was he breaking up with me?_

"It is. I'm turning your life upside down and I can't do it anymore."

I looked him in the eyes, right through my tears, and I saw fear, sadness, and solitude. My hands moved to cup his cheeks, making him flinch at the loving gesture.

"I turned my life upside down. And then, I met you. I don't regret anything, because I chose you. _You_, Chester. Why can't you accept that? Why can't you just let me in? I am not going anywhere, I told you that before and I keep saying it as many times as you need to understand."

Chester nodded his head, looking down.

"You hurt me last night. Probably more than you intended. You're an asshole and I'm madly pissed off with you. But I want you nonetheless."

His eyes sparkled all of a sudden. It was like I heaved a weight off his shoulders. He decided that breaking up with me was the best thing he could do. Probably I was going to do it anyway, so why not do it before me? It would have hurt less.

"You're crazy," Chester muttered.

"Yeah, about you."

I pulled him to a deep and passionate kiss, pulling his body harder against me and the counter. He gasped at first but gave in to the heating feeling that ignited in his lower core. He is trying to ignore that sensation for too long and he knows he wouldn't be able to stop it once it's on fire. His hands were intertwined with my hair for a while, but then they wandered down my back, in a slow and sensual motion, feeling every inch of me. Then, he grasped my ass and went a little further down, grabbing my tights to pull me up to the counter. Chester's body fit flawlessly between my legs and he loved the way my body was reacting to his eagerness as both of us ground our hips together.

My legs were straddled behind his waist, pushing him against me. My hands clutched the hem of his shirt, trying to pulling up.

Chester moved his mouth to my neck and started biting it fiercely, giving in to all of his desires. 

I opened my eyes at the sensation and I knew that my body was aching for him, craving to have him for the first time. But part of my brain reminded me of how he hurt me last night, of the words he said and I knew that I couldn't go any further, knowing that it still stings in my heart. I knew that I was going to regret what I was about to do, but he deserves to be punished.

I grabbed the roots of his head and pulled him away from my neck. He gasped at the move, but I didn't give him any time to protest. I kissed him harder, as passionately as I could, feeling him hardening even more in his pants while a whimper escaped his mouth.

Then, when I had him almost moaning between kisses, I loosened my legs from his waist, pulled away from the kiss, let go of his hair and pushed him gently away from me. He looked at me in confusion, as I jumped down of the counter, walked to the coffee machine and poured coffee on a mug for him, looking innocent as if nothing had happened.

"What the f...?" he muttered, taking the mug in his hands.

"You didn't think I'd let you get away so easily, did you?" I asked in a mocking tone.

Chester narrowed his eyes at me and placed the mug on the kitchen island. He walked to me and pushed me harder against the counter, trapping me again.

"You were teasing me only to punish me?" He asked, whispering in my ear with his sultry voice. His lips barely grazed my earlobe in a teasing way, automatically stimulating my lower core.

"Yes, you deserve to be punished."

"Punish me then," he begged. "Do whatever you want to do with me. I'm all yours." He pressed his body harder against mine and I felt the bulge inside his pants.

I took a deep breath, trying to control myself. _Oh, how I loved to be able to continue this game_.

"No, thank you. Later, maybe. I need my coffee now."

Chester stopped whatever he was doing on my earlobe and looked at me.

"You really are insane, you know that?"

"Yup," I picked my mug from the coffee machine and took a sip. I looked at the clock. "Aren't you late for classes, _professor_?"

Chester smirked in a devilish way, as he picked his mug from the kitchen island and drank from it.

"You're playing with fire, doll."

"Good. I like it hot."

Chester choked on his drink and almost spat it out. Then he began to laugh and cough at the same time. I laughed at his reaction and threw him a napkin, part of me happy to see him smiling again. When I realized that he was trying to break up with me just because he hurt me, I knew that I had to keep him with me. Obviously, he has to understand that I am not a toy to play around and I intend to make him see that. In time.

We spent the rest of the time we had left that morning, teasing each other. Well, most of the teasing was made by me. He deserved it.

When he went to classes, I still had time before going to work, so I called Rene back and told her everything that happened. She was relieved that we were doing fine, giving the circumstances and thanked me for not giving up on him. 

The truth is that I wasn't planning on that, but it is hard for me to accept that I'm in a man's life that hides parts of himself and points a finger at me when I try to reach out to those secretive parts. The worst thing is that I have this unexplainable feeling of overprotectiveness over him that I can't seem to get rid of and I need to make him safe all the time. I need to shield him from any kind of harm that may come on his way, and he doesn't let me.

I've read about this. About these types of defense mechanisms. He is in the _Displacement _type, where he take out his frustrations on me because I'm more close to him. He's so used to being hurt that anyone who tries to help him, his brain classifies as a threat. And tries to protect him. I am very aware of that and that it's not his fault, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. That doesn't mean that I don't feel like trash when he treats me like this.

And if he wants us to go somewhere, he needs to control himself.

My mind analyzed our relationship from the beginning. I spent the day thinking about him, about us. How I met him, how hard it was to make him talk to me. I remembered when we kissed for the first time, smiling at the images. How can a man that makes me feel so good, feel so bad with himself? So bad that he hurts anything that moves around him.

I didn't notice how late it was when Janice told me to go home. Work clears my mind better than anything else. _Better than ice cream, I guess._

For a moment, I thought about canceling dinner plans. He deserved it and I was not in the mood.

But I know he wants a last chance to redeem himself.

I knocked on his door after a few seconds of calming myself down.

"Hi, beautiful," he said, opening the door for me. 

Whatever he was cooking, it smelled heavenly.

He leaned in to kiss me, but I offered him my cheek, before entering his apartment. Chester stood there, not knowing if he should protest, or let it go. He knew I would give him a hard time, so he tried to play along and handle it.

"No candles?" I mocked him but remained serious.

"I didn't want it to seem forced," he replied, placing the dinner on the table. I rolled my eyes and sat before he even had the chance to offer me a seat.

Smashed potatoes with stewed meat, cooked peas, and carrots, with a delicious cream sauce on top. I must admit that if this was the only way of apologizing, he was long forgiven. I hummed when I felt the tender flavor of the meat and Chester smiled.

"Good to know you enjoy it," he said.

"It's ok," I said, trying not to show that it was absolutely delicious.

Chester rolled his eyes.

"Rene called," he said. "She insulted me."

"I love your sister," I said, smiling maliciously.

"Yeah, and she loves you more than she loves her own brother," he pouted.

"I'm adorable. And I don't yell at people that only try to help me." I replied immediately, with a pissed off tone. Every time I remember the words he said to me, it feels like I'm being stabbed in the heart.

Chester gulped and looked down at his plate.

That image broke my heart and the walls I had lifted because of him.

"The food is delicious," this made him look at me with a weak smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said, his posture a little unsure but more relaxed. 

He raised from his chair, grabbed the plates to take them to the sink. I helped him, even against his will. When he turned around to grab the dessert, I rolled up my sleeves and started doing the dishes.

"Hey, hey," he rushed to me. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to find a cure for cancer. What the hell does it look like I'm doing?"

"This is a _forgive me _diner. You're not supposed to do the dishes," Chester said all mater-of-factly, taking the sponge from my hands.

I snatched it from his hands again and crossed my arms.

"Well, if you're trying to apologize, then don't start a fight to see who gets to do the dishes."

Chester became silence, staring at me like something crossed his mind. The expression on his eyes melted and I could see the shine of its brown color. I smiled at him blandly and turned to the sink to wash the plates. Chester didn't move. He just looked at me.

I could feel him behind me and for some reason, my heart started beating faster.

Suddenly, I felt two strong arms enveloping me in a hug, resting on my waist. His face was buried in my neck. A kiss was planted on my neck, making me whimper. My knees became weak.

Another kiss followed by a bite made me shiver and press my back against him.

His tongue found my earlobe and gave it a gentle lick.

I released a moan and closed my eyes, feeling that warm feeling burning on my core. That feeling that I was becoming familiar with every time he's around. It burned me from inside, silently evading every piece of skin, asking me to do something to put it out. 

I wanted him. More than anything.

But when I closed my eyes, I remembered how hurtful he was the previous day.

I released myself from his grip, walking away from the sink. I leaned against a counter with my eyes narrowed at him.

"You're a jerk, you know that?"

"Uhm," he hummed, his eyes hypnotized, looking at me. His eyes traveled from my eyes to my lips. He licked his lower lip. It seemed like he wasn't even paying attention to whatever I was saying.

"You almost fucked up. This is the last time I'm forgiving you, Chester."

"I know," he simply said.

I rolled my eyes, frustrated by his behavior and took a step closer to punch him in the chest gently. 

"Why are you so passive?" I asked annoyed. Chester took a step closer too and I straightened up my body, narrowing my eyes at him in a judgmental way. "And why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because when I look at your mouth, I can't think about anything else besides kissing you," he approached me quickly, his arm straddling me behind my waist, pulling my body against his. Before I could protest, he closed the gap between us, kissing me gently.

"I'm * kiss* still mad *kiss* at you," I pouted, trying to sound confident.

"I know," he said, too absorbed to answer me properly. His hands traveled up my back and pulled my lips against his again by tangling his fingers in my hair. 

"Kissing me so good like this isn't going to make me not be mad at you," I said out-of-breath.

"Yes, but I'm not going to stop kissing you anyway," he said, pulling me against the counter until I hit my back.

"Fine by me!" I said, throwing my arms around his neck, my hands messing up his small curly hair. I grabbed his roots fiercely, noticing how long it was getting. He was in need of a hair cut, but I wouldn't mind if he let it grow a little bit more. I love to pull his hair.

We let ourselves get carried away by a kiss so warm and comfortable that reminded me of those warm summer days, like I am on a beach, feeling the sun burn my skin while the fresh ocean breeze touched me so lightly.

His tongue invaded mine with soft touches, encouraging me to reciprocate.

He slowed down, both of us panting and blushed. I planted a series of soft and quick pecks on his lips because I need closeness, but I'm also in need of air. We smiled through the kisses, knowing that no matter what, we belong together. 

"I was going to propose to watch a movie on the T.V., but this is much better," he said, breaking the silence.

"You know I can't resist a good movie. Which one?"

"I have a new romantic comedy, uhm, a horror movie, and some war movies."

"I'll choose horror. What do you have?"

"You're a strange woman, I truly believed you were going for the romantic comedy."

"I feel offended," I said, pressing my hand against my chest, feigning to be offended.

He smiled, grabbed my hand and pushed me with him to the living room. I sat on the couch, and he connected his external hard disk to the T.V. A long list of movies were displayed. He sure downloads a lot. There were movies from before I was even born. 

"Anabelle 3?" Chester asked.

"Ok. They don't say good things about it, though."

"Yeah, I know," Chester said, pressing play.

"But I want to see it anyway," I muttered.

"I also know that," he smiled proudly, planting a soft kiss on the top of my head.

He opened his arms and welcomed me in a tender embrace that I asked God to let me have it until the end of the times. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer, gently rubbing my arm with his thumb. I let my body relax and sink into his warmth, appreciative of the simple gesture. His touch made the air around us warmer for some reason -- his arms felt soft, yet strong, holding me as if I could never go anywhere without him anymore.

I focused on the movie, instead of his fresh perfume that was making my head spin. I tried not to feel his warm tattoed skin under that black t-shirt, nor about his beautiful brown eyes that can turn darker than the moonless night. I tried not to imagine the softness of his hair in between my fingers. I tried not to remember how his lips feel against mine, how his tongue asks for permission to please me.

I bit my lower lip, closed my eyes and took a deep breath to control my urges.

In the middle of the movie, Chester looked down at me and a smile appeared on his face. I was comfortably asleep in his arms, and nothing ever felt so right for him. I looked peaceful, or at least my relaxed expression showed that.

He looked at his wristwatch and grimaced by how late it was. The next day was another working day, and we both needed to sleep.

Looking around, he studied ways to get me to bed, excluding all the options that included waking me up. He pulled me up to his lap, slowly and gently, trying not to move me too much, and snaked his arms around me. He got up with me in his arms and carried my limp body to my bedroom. With great difficulty, he managed to pull the sheets away, lay me on the mattress and cover me.

Delighting himself with the sight one last time, he kissed my temples and turned around to leave. 

My hand clutching around his wrist made him gasp.

"Stay," I told him.

Chester looked down at me and furrowed my brows.

"Sleep with me tonight," I asked again, whimpering and yawning.

"Are you sure?" He asked somewhat reluctant.

I nodded my head without opening my eyes. 

He wasted no time and started taking off his clothes until there was nothing left but his grey boxers. Walking around to the other side of the bed, he hopped up to the mattress and dragged his body closer to mine, gluing himself to me in a spooning position.

At first, he was afraid to touch me like that without asking me if I was ok with it. But when he felt me relax in his arms and continue sleeping, he let himself ease down and closed his eyes too. For the first time since he can remember, he fell asleep in a matter of minutes. There was no turning around in the bed, fighting his head against awful thoughts. No. He simply fell asleep, as normal people do.

My scent filled his nostrils for hours while he slept, and pleasant dreams were his company for the night. Me, on the other hand, I sleep like a rock. No dreams, no nightmares, nothing. I simply die and wake up the next morning.

Unfortunately, Chester's night wasn't that calm all the time. Around 6 A.M. he saw her. _Mia_. _He saw her but the image was a little blurred as if his eyes were covered by a thick layer of fog or water. But he knew it was her. She talked to him. She told him that he wasn't worthy, that he shouldn't try to be happy because he didn't deserve it. She told him he deserved to burn in hell. Then he saw Mia and me. I was by her side. Smiling in a creepy way. I said that I would never want a piece of garbage like him. That it's better for him to break up with me. Then, suddenly, he saw me at the edge of a high wall, hands intertwined with Mia's. We had our backs turned to him and were laughing so loud that it echoed through his head, making it hurt badly. I looked over my shoulder and smirked, letting my body fall to the other side of the high wall..._

"Chester!" I yelled, trying to wake him up. He started moving abruptly in the bed, which woke me up. He was whimpering, crying and asking someone to_ stop_.

It took him a while to get back to reality. And when he did, when he opened his eyes, my heart broke into tiny pieces. He started sobbing.

"Oh, baby... It was just a bad dream..." I pulled him to my arms, planting gently kisses on his face. "Just a bad dream."

He started sobbing, pulling me closer to him and burying his head on my neck. I didn't say anything else.

For a moment I thought he wasn't going to stop crying like he was. It even seemed like he was out of air. I caressed his hair gently and kissed the top of his head. He wasn't calming down at all. I didn't know what to do, I was hopeless and in despair. So, I did the last thing I remembered in an attempt to calm him down before I broke down with him. I started humming Wonderwall, by The Oasis. 

At first, he didn't stop. But when he started recognizing the music, he remembered when he played the guitar and sang it along with me. He remembered how he felt that moment, how uncertain he was about me. Now he was certain. He knew how much I meant to him, and how much he wants me in his life.

Gradually, his cries ceased and he just remained buried in my neck, hearing my humming and feeling the soothing fragrance of my skin.

When I finished and became silent, he planted a kiss on my shoulder, showing me how grateful he was for having me there to help him calm down. It was a gesture that told me that he was better.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He nodded his head.

"Do you want to talk about anything? To distract yourself?"

He hummed in response. When I saw what time it was, I knew we weren't getting much more sleep that night, so it should be better if we just distract ourselves.

"When I was sad, my grandmother knew exactly how to make it better," I said, saying the first thing that I remembered. "Come on, let's go to the kitchen."

Chester lifted his head from my neck and stared at me confused.

"We're going to make brownies, Nanna's style. Come on," I got up from the bed and held a hand for him.

When he moved and followed me to the kitchen, I immediately put an apron in front of his almost-naked body, to cover his... morning tent. Chester smiled weakly at my embarrassment but decided not to point it out. He focused on the tasks I gave him after searching for my grandmother's recipe on my phone.

By the corner of my eye, I noticed how he was concentrated on mixing the eggs together with the melted chocolate very slowly, careful not to cook the eggs since the chocolate was hot. Nanna used to give me that task to make me forget whatever was troubling my mind and that simple thing made wonders for me.

By the look on Chester's face, it made wonders for him too.


	28. Waking up to (un)pleasant surprises

I woke up to the odd feeling of not being alone. Odd, but pleasantly comfortable.

There was an alarm buzzing, disturbing my peacefulness.

Chester's warm body turned around to turn it off and returned to glue itself to me.

"'Morning," he mumbled, still slightly asleep.

I became aware of why I was not alone in bed and why it felt like I woke up in paradise.

"Good morning," I replied, planting a kiss on his bare chest. _His skin smells so good_. "You should get up."

"Five more minutes," he pouted, making me smile.

"No, you have to go to work. And so do I." 

Chester whined and yawned. He let go of me and stretched his body slowly in an almost sensual manner, exposing his naked torso. My eyes stared at him, my mind echoing inappropriate thoughts. 

"See something you like?" He lifted a brow in a cocking manner.

"Yup," I said carelessly, screeching when Chester threw himself at me and kissed me all over my face. I giggled and tried to release myself from him because he was making my whole body shiver. "What gotten into you?"

Chester stopped his kisses and remained on top of me with his almost naked body between my legs, just staring at my eyes with the most lovely expression.

"I just love the image of waking up with you by my side," he whispered.

"Me too," I replied equally quiet. 

His soft hand brushed some hair away from my face, carefully tucking it behind my ear. He caressed the top of my head, from the roots of my hair, until the ends. His mind went somewhere else, somewhere pleasant because they started glistering out of nowhere and his expression became dreamy. 

"We should get ready, shouldn't we?" He said after some time admiring my features. He wanted so badly to stay in bed with me, all day. Never in his entire existence, he felt so good waking up, nor wanted to stay in bed to enjoy the company of someone. It was one of those moments that you never want to end because you feel like you belong there.

"Yeah, I think we should," I smiled, giving him a peck on his lips. "But first, let's make us some breakfast."

***

"You're in a good mood today. Yesterday you were so broody," Janice interrupted my thoughts. 

After breakfast, Chester and I went separate ways and I came to work. It was a busy morning, still preparing the University's ceremony. I had to call suppliers and greenhouses to make sure they received my order and they will have everything on time. That evening, Id have to travel for one hour to make sure the flowers the University picked were prepared because they were extremely hard to produce and to find - which will cost them a fortune, but who am I to complain?

I lifted my head from the paper I was preparing with everything I needed to get ready that day and furrowed my brows at Janice. That woman has the intuition of a lion and the cleverness of a fox. Even with her age, she is always so perceptive and aware of what surrounds her and she can feel when I'm sad or when I'm happy.

"You were so sad, it pained me to see you that way. That light that you usually have in your eyes was just so dim... And since I don't like to intrude, and I'm sure you wouldn't tell me, I didn't ask what was wrong." I nodded my head, confirming her that I understood her and was grateful that she didn't ask. "You do know that you can speak to me, about anything."

"Yeah, I know... It's just that with Chester, it's all so intimate and secret. He is a complex person, with a complex past and... I don't know... sometimes it gets hard to understand him. And yesterday I was mad at him, but I didn't like the feeling at all..."

"I'm sure everything will be alright, honey. Relationships are just like that, a turmoil that you never know when it will explode."

"Tell me about it," I muffled a laugh. "It's everything alright now. We talked and it's alright..."

Janice smiled warmly and resumed her work.

"What about your studies? Your classes are almost there," she said with an excited tone in her voice.

"I already have a list of everything I need, some of the books I already had, but I still need to buy 3. I think I'll use the lunch hour to go to the bookshop on the lower floor, or maybe I'll do it after work. I don't know. I still have these orders the check."

"Nonsense! You'll go there now," she walked to her purse and searched for a card in her wallet. "Here, it's my merchant card, you can use it and have access to discounts. The worker is a dear friend of mine, she'll accept the card. Tell her you work for me."

"Oh -- " I was embarrassed but grateful to have someone so resourceful like Janice. "Thanks."

"Well, off you go. I do hope that I will benefit from your studies, getting free appointments when you're a successful psychologist."

"Yes, I never forget the people that always helped me," I said, leaving the store.

I looked like a kid at Christmas, looking at all the books in the book store. In my hand, I was holding the paper with the three books that I needed. I never read them, but I knew them, they were on my list of books to buy in the near future. And there I was, looking for my first book.

The first of the list was called _The Social Animal_, written by Elliot Aronson. It's just some kind of introduction and an overview of social psychology. I took it from the shelf and went through the pages, inhaling the scent of new books. A scent that I know so well and that I can't help but love. It reminded me of school when I was younger and carefree. When everything was less complicated.

When I moved on to the next book, the first few pages I read were actually captivating. The book was entitled _Influence: Science and Practice _written by Robert Cialdini. It was interesting because it was about the psychology of persuasion. For what I could tell, the book teaches you not only how to apply or defend yourself persuasion techniques that mean to harm you in any way, like scammers, people selling faulty products knowingly, dishonest efforts to persuade you to do something you are not comfortable with, etc. 

I imagined that mastering the art of persuasion would be handy in most situations.

_Especially with Chester._

I shook those stupid thoughts away and moved on to the last book. _Predictably Irrational_ by Dan Ariely. Apparently, the book shows how, apparently, ordinary or insignificant changes can have a great impact on our behavior when we don't realize what's going on.

Then, I thought about the impact Chester has been having in my entire life. Most of it, I considered a good impact, even when he acts like a fucking asshole. But, in general, I think he really helped me change things about me, especially when it comes to understanding what Patience truly means.

When I paid for the books, I had a discount just as Janice told me. I thanked the lady from the book store and got back to work, handing back Janice's merchant card. I showed her the books, but we weren't able to chat for too long since customers suddenly filled our store and I still had things to do for the university's ceremony.

After a long day of work, I left the store way past my work schedule. I didn't mind though. I enjoy the work, I love Janice and I would have no one home to go home to. Chester was working late and I was all alone for the rest of that day.

When I closed the door from my apartment, my phone rang.

"Hi, mom," I said in a happy tone.

"Hi, baby girl, how are you?"

"I'm good. Just arrived home. I'm about to start making dinner," a smile crept to my lips when I laid my eyes on the leftovers of the brownies Chester and I baked that morning. I closed my eyes at the feeling of having him by my side the whole night. Then, I paid attention to whatever my mother was saying, feeling bad for daydreaming while she was talking.

"-- either way, you have to come over for the weekend, honey. We miss you so much and when you start your studies you will less time for us, so you should come here before it starts. Alright?"

"I will, mom. Next weekend, don't worry. I miss you all too."

"I have to go now, your grandmother is calling for me. She and I are dining alone -- Your sisters went out and your father has an _only men dinner," _I could practically hear her rolling her eyes at the name and giggled.

"Ok, bye then. See ya next weekend," I said, hanging up the call.

I opened my fridge, pinching the bridge of my nose while I was looking for something to cook. After freezing my fingers in the cooler looking for food, I chose the chicken. I was going to stuff it with lemon and put it on the stove with some potatoes. While the food was cooking, I took a hot shower that relaxed every inch of the muscles of my body and got in my pajamas at last. I wasn't expecting to go out, nor any visits that night, so I didn't even bother to dry my hair or dress something else.

The food would, definitely, take a while to be cooked perfectly, so there was still time for myself before dinner. I opened my bag and pulled out the three new books I bought that day. I set them down on the living room table and sat on the couch leafing through one of them. Before I knew it, I ended up reading the book on the couch, with a blanket over my legs and my head resting on the couch's armrest.

When I read a good book, it's like the rest of the world just disappears. The book sucks me in, trying to make me a part of it. You step into imagination and forget that anything exists outside of it and the book in your hand. Reading makes me feel understood and makes me understand. No matter what occurs, I know books will comfort and tell me that I am never truly alone.

I was so glad that I was having the opportunity to pursue my dreams, studying what really makes me happy. I wanted to seize the opportunity and do my best, especially to prove myself that I can do it and that I am worthy of it.

The bing sound from the stove made me jump back to the real world. 

Dinner was ready.

Now, that's another thing that I love to do: eat.

And I hate to brag but, damn, dinner was divine. I even opened a small bottle of rosé wine just for myself.

When I was finished, I went back to the couch to pick up where I left. The last time I looked at the clock on the wall it was 8 P.M. and when I looked at it again it was half past midnight. I widened my eyes, noticing that I have been reading for more than four hours and laughed at myself - _how exciting my life must be_.

I was about to call it a night around midnight when I received a text message. Smiling - because I know from who it was - I read Chester's message.

_CHESTER: Are you awake?_

_ME: Yeah, why?_

He didn't answer me anymore, but minutes after there was a knock on my door. 

After peaking through the peephole, I opened the door. Chester was there with a hand inside the pocket of his pants and the other brushing the hair in the back of his head. His face lightened up as soon as he saw me ready to go to bed. He diverted his eyes immediately, not wanting me to feel uncomfortable with his stare.

"I can't even handle not being with you for one day. I know I told you I was working late and wouldn't be able to see you, but I can't do it. I can go one day without seeing your beautiful face and kiss you."

I smiled at his words, my heart tightening inside my chest.

"I really enjoyed sleeping with you the other night... And I was hoping that we could do it again?" He sounded excited but insecure at the same time. There was no reason for him to feel that way, I would never deny him in my bed, even if only to sleep. Sleeping on his arms was the best feeling that I've experienced, and I was eager to repeat it. Now I know that I wasn't the only one.

I stepped aside and gestured him to enter, closing the door behind him. Without saying one word, I grabbed his hand and pushed him behind me to my bedroom. Chester stood there watching me as I made my way to my bed, and lay down comfortably under my sheets. He just smiled, turned off the lights and took off all of his clothes, until he was only on his boxers.

He crawled up the bed, finding the warmth of my body under the sheets.

That was the first time he was able to relax that day. Knowing that he wasn't going to see me that day was killing him inside. He wasn't even able to do his work properly because I didn't leave his mind for a minute - he was distracted. After finishing the work sooner than he expected that night, he made up his mind and sent me the message. He wasn't going to wait one more minute, he needed to see me, to feel me.

Chester opened his arms and pushed me to his chest.

I gladly moved closer, releasing a sigh that I didn't know I was holding.

"How was your day?" He asked me.

"It was normal. But I went to the book store today and bought the books that I need for classes," I said, trying not to sound too excited by a simple task.

"That's great... A few more months and you start a new phase. Aren't you nervous?"

"A little..." I said, earning a kiss on the top of my head. "Chester..."

"What is it?"

"Isn't it odd that there are a teacher and a student on a relationship?"

Chester's body vibrated under my head and I heard a chuckle inside his chest, turning to laughter. His hands traveled up to my cheeks and made me look at him in the dim light of my room. I had my curtains open and the light of the street barely illuminated the bedroom but was enough to perceive Chester's beautiful features.

"I talked to Patrick and there's no problem at all. We were together before you started studying and besides, you are not going to be my student, so..."

"Well, that's a bummer," I said and Chester furrowed his brow. "I was digging this whole student-teacher thing."

He laughed and pressed his lips against mine.

"You can still call me professor if that's something you're really into," he joked.

"I'll think about that," I said, kissing him harder.

My hand started by caressing his cheeks, traveling down to his shoulder very slowly, feeling every inch of his burning skin shivering under my touch. I continued my caress through his chest, massaging him very gently. This caused him to moan slightly in my mouth, telling me that he was enjoying whatever I was doing.

Chester's hands rested on my hips, pulling me closer to him. I lifted my leg and climbed on top of him as things started to get more heated. It was so natural as if something was compelling me to him. As if he was a magnet and I am some kind of metal.

With both my legs on each side of his hips, I started grinding on his boxers unconsciously. If I was on my right mind, I'd stop, get on my side of the bed and sleep on his arms, but I really want him.

Chester, on the other hand, was trying not to give in. His body was telling him to give in, but he was trying to find strength in him to stop himself.

With one hand on my hips, he forced me to stop. His lips slowed down the kiss until we were apart.

"I think it's better if we slow down, Ana," he said softly.

"Why?" I asked, a little frustrated for never being able to take the next step. There's always something interrupting us, I couldn't imagine what it could be now. For a moment, I thought that maybe he didn't want me as much as I want him, and my furrowed brows weren't unnoticed by him.

"Don't get me wrong, Ana," Chester said, knowing that I was probably thinking that I was a problem and that's why he didn't want to proceed. "I really, really want you like this," I gave him a doubtful look and he sighed. "Trust me, I do want you. But you deserve so much better than this. Our first time together should be special, not like this while I'm exhausted from all the rehearsals I've been doing."

I nodded my head, letting him know that it was ok, but it wasn't enough for him. So he cupped my cheeks and glued his lips to mine, lingering there for some time. Then, he pulled away and his thumbs caressed my cheeks.

"I want you, Ana. More than anything. Please, believe me..."

"Alright..." I simply said, turning my back on him. Part of me wanted to believe in his words, but another part knew that there was something else behind his truth.

I pulled his arms and made him spoon me. At first, he hesitated, but when he felt me drag my body closer to him, he relaxed and squeezed his arms, planting a kiss on my head.

It didn't take us long to fall asleep on each other's arms and the night was out of trouble for me and for Chester. He slept all night, something that he couldn't remember when was the last time that happened... Maybe it was before what happened, maybe it was when he went to the hospital a few years ago...

When I woke the next morning, a smile crept to my face instantly. I was laying on Chester's chest, his arms snaked around me, pulling me closer. His hand was slowly caressing my hair, barely touching me, afraid that it might wake me up. But watching me peacefully asleep on his arms was something that he knew he would never grow tired of, so he couldn't help but caress the sweet angel responsible for his wonderful night.

"Good morning," I muttered, pulling my body closer to his.

"Good morning, my angel," he answered in a hoarse voice. I felt a kiss at the top of my head and smiled. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, like a rock," I said, looking up at his beautiful morning face. "And you?"

"Like I haven't slept in years... You do wonders to me, you know that right?"

"I might need a reminder from time to time," I smiled, giving him a peck on his lips.

When I pulled away to rest my head on his chest, his hand grabbed my cheek and pulled me again to his lips. It felt like I was already drunk in the early morning, drunk for him. My head was spinning and my heart was beating so fast that I swear that it could be heard.

"You look so beautiful in the morning," he whispered between kisses, never allowing me to take a moment to breathe properly.

"Yeah, right," I gave him a small punch on his arm, "I must look so fucking gorgeous with my tangled hair and my morning breath."

"Actually, it's the best image that I can possibly ask," he said, his sweet innocent and honest smile made me blush like a pepper. Thankfully the room light was dim and he couldn't see the effect he has on me.

"I -- I'll go make breakfast. Do you want to join me?"

"In a minute," he said.

I left the room and started the morning by warming up the coffee machine. I just fucking love coffee, it's like, the drink sent from heaven. I made toasts and took the butter and the red fruits jam from the fridge and wait for Chester to come out of the room.

When he joined me in the kitchen, we ate our food in silence, often ceasing that quiet with a smack of our lips against each other.

A knock on my door interrupted our little morning moment. I furrowed my brows at Chester, not even guessing who was at the door. I took my mug with me, I just can't stand to be away from my morning coffee, and walked to the door. Before grabbing the handle to open it, I looked through the peephole and gasped.

I looked at Chester with a panicked expression and he gave me a confused look.

I mouthed _my parents_ and he widened his eyes.

A few seconds later, they rang the bell and I continued petrified at the door.

Chester - who was turning pale - whispered.

"I can't run away now, open the door."

"Are you sure?" I whispered back. 

He just nodded. After taking a deep breath, I opened the door and forced the best smile I could.

"Baby girl," my father greeted me with a hug. 

I kissed my mother on the cheek and stepped out of the way to let them enter my apartment. Chester raised from his seat and showed himself to my parents. My father furrowed his brows, but had a mix of understanding and amusement on his face, knowing that my mother is about to flip out; my mother, on the other hand, didn't look impressed. She met Chester before, as y neighbor, and friend...

"This is Chester, uhm -- " I told my father, which made Chester hold a hand in the air to greet him. "My boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you, Chester," my dad said at the same time my mother gasped.

"I knew it!" She said immediately. "The whole _neighbor friend_ story was not convincing. Why do you keep hiding things from us, Ana?"

"I don't hide things from you. I have every right to have a private life, ain't I?"

My mother groaned and my father rolled my eyes, making a playful expression at Chester who was a little scared. 

I grabbed my mother by her wrist and dragged her with me to the bedroom to have a serious conversation with her in private. I don't want her to say something uncomfortable to Chester, nor make him feel bad for being with me. And having my mother hating my first real boyfriend is not something I'm into right now.

I gave Chester a last glance of reassurance before closing the door.

"What the hell, mom?"

"What?" She asked with a mix of annoyance and a sense of superiority tone.

"Do you want to push me away again?" I asked in an aggressive tone. "Because causing a scene in front of my boyfriend is a great way to do it."

"Why didn't you tell me before that you and _that _\--"

"Chester!"

"-- Chester were a couple?"

"Because we were trying to see how our relationship would work," I groaned, placing my hands on each side of my hips, staring at my mother with a pissed-off expression. I was just a minute away from kick her out of my house, but my father had nothing to do with her attitude.

"Well? And is it working?" She asked, expecting some kind of answer that showed that I had doubts about what I was doing, but I had none. I never had.

I sighed, pulled my hair back in despair.

"For your information, it's going very well. Unlike some people, he cares for me, treats me the right way and I really like to be with him, so yes, it's going very, very well." I replied quickly. "And I'm really happy with him, thank you for asking."

I turned around to go back to the living room, knowing that if I stayed we would continue arguing.

"Ana, I just want the best for you," she muttered.

"And how do you know he is not the best for me?" I told her before opening my bedroom door and leaving her alone in there.

I knew she was going to be hard to change, but I never thought it would be this hard. Somehow, I need to make her understand that I need her to be supportive and let me live my life. 

My only hope was that my father didn't give me a hard time, I don't want to scare him away. I don't want him to think that knowing my parents like this is going to change anything about us. It wasn't a step that I was considering taking this soon, but it just happened. I talked to my mother the previous day and she didn't tell me she was coming to visit me, I cursed her for that.

When I came back to the living room, I froze and widened my eyes.

My father was laughing so loud and Chester was smiling.

I heard him talking about my boldness when I was a kid. I heard him telling Chester about my answer on a test in second grade, where it was asked to finish the sentence "_If I had the principal's job, I would_..." Obviously, me being me, I had to answer it in a sarcastic or funny way. Apparently, I wrote, "... _quit my job and get a job I'd enjoy."_

"Dad, please don't embarrass me," I begged, interrupting their little moment.

This made him laugh even more.

"Oh, don't worry, I barely started," he replied. "We came here to invite you to spend the next weekend with us, but I couldn't help but invite Chester too. I have a lot of stories to tell him about you."

"What?" My mother and I said at the same time, mouths dropped open.


	29. The day everything changed pt. I

"That went well," I sighed as I finally felt the comfort of my couch. Chester was already sitting there, amusement all over his face.

"It could have gone worse, though. Your father liked me," Chester said, pulling me to his arms. I hummed and relaxed for a while, feeling the temperature of his body that I enjoy so much. Sleeping with Chester must be something out of this world in Winter. He's like a fireplace. 

We talked for a couple of hours about random stuff, but mostly about my parent's visit, and about next weekend. We decided to visit them next weekend and I was nervous about showing him my previous world. It's not like he's going to hate it, but I don't want him to think that I was a spoiled girl before he met me. I mean, I was, but I didn't want to. What if it's too much for him? Like, it's a huge mansion, with lots of people working for my family, and there's almost no privacy since there's always someone rushing from one side to the other.

I couldn't turn down the invitation, though. It would be amazing if my mother accepted our relationship. It means the world to me.

One thing that I wanted to show Chester was that you should always talk about what worries you. Even if you think it's stupid. So I shared my thoughts with him and tried to prepare him for what he might find there.

He surprised me - I mean, he has been surprising me every day. He opened his heart to me; he let me in; and he is learning to express what he is feeling through words and acts. 

Chester pulled me to his laps, his hands forcing my legs around his waist and he lifted my chin up with his index finger.

"You don't need to worry about that, Ana. I like the person you are now. Not your name, nor how rich is your family, or how big is your house. As long as I'm with you, I don't need anything else, can you understand that?" I nodded and he smiled, kissing the tip of my nose. "That's my girl."

"Are you going to sleep here tonight?" I asked innocently.

"If you want to, I'd love to."

That night, we fell asleep in each other's arms, feeling like there was nothing that could tear apart what we are trying to build. For some moments, Chester even thought that he could forget what happened in his past and be happy, or maybe that he could openly share it with me, without suffering reprisals. But then, that voice in the back of his head insisted on keeping him up at night, alone in his thoughts, that told him that there was no chance that I'd stay with him after knowing everything about his past.

He felt so lost, not knowing what to do, that most of the time he slept with me, he stayed awake all night thinking about plans and schemes to tell me the truth, hide it from me, or leave me for good. None of his plans went according to what he wanted. And he always ended up pulling me closer to his arms while I smiled through my deep sleep.

The rest of the week was calm.

Chester was busy with the preparations for the university's anniversary and he'd come home late. When he arrived earlier than he told me, he would send me a text message to check on me and knocked on my door with his pillow under one arm and his pajama under the other. Then he'd sad that he was being selfish, but sleeping with me was better than any sleeping or relaxing or antidepressant pill.

I just smiled all of those times and stepped aside to let him in.

On Thursday night we decided to take a walk through the park. The air was warm and welcoming and there were people outside enjoying the return of the Summer.

Summertime is the season where you enjoy the most to live. Your heart gets warmer. The sun shines. The skin gets tanned and golden. The water gets hot... And it's finally time to put away the scarfs and pick up some fancy sunglasses!

In the meantime, Chester and I decided just to enjoy the starry sky and the bright moonlight under the warm breeze. Our hands were intertwined the whole time, and smiles and laughs never left our little walk.

When we sat on the lakeside, just contemplating the view around us, I took my time to analyze my whole situation at the moment (something that I usually do). And I realized something that I wanted to hide for a while. Something about Chester. At first, I thought nothing of it, but it became clearer to me.

"What are you thinking about?" Chester's hoarse voice awoke me from my world.

"You," I said looking him in the eyes.

"Do I wanna know?" He asked playfully, but he smiled slowly faded away as he noticed how serious my eyes were. I stopped in time as I looked at him and confirmed my previous thoughts. That realization hit me like a train and overwhelmed so much, that I had to give in to my impulses. I pulled Chester by the back of his neck and devoured his lips right there, in the middle of the park.

It felt so right to be there. To be by his side.

And I had the urge to feel him even more. I needed him. I desired him.

When Chester pulled away out of breath he stared at me.

"What was that?"

"I don't know. It's... it's just that I -- I want you. Like -- all of you." 

Chester widened his eyes, and his whole body was trembling.

"You mean... all of it?" He asked, not wanting to believe in what I was asking. I just nodded and he gulped. Before he could speak again, I pulled him to another breathtaking kiss, not giving him enough time to breathe in between kisses.

My hands decided to have their own lives and wandered down on his arms, slowly making their way to his belly. Chester tensed up as he felt my hand going under his shirt, but relaxed when it lingered there.

He has been fighting his desires for too long.

So, he pulled me closer to him, taking control of the moment. His hand landed on the back of my neck and the other on my waist, slowly pushing me down to the grass. I felt my heart beating faster and faster, and I wanted him to touch me in places like nobody else was able to.

It felt like my skin was on fire and for a moment I didn't care we were in a public space. 

I wanted him so badly.

"Hey," he whispered, stealing a few more kisses. "Let's go. My home."

I pulled him to me and kissed him harder before he pulled away and got up, holding a hand in the air for me.

I hugged him for a moment and we started walking back home, both of us trembling with anticipation for what was about to happen.

But, as always, life had other things in storage for us. 

Something that I never even imagined.

As we were walking in a rushed pace, someone ran after us and pushed Chester with such rage, that I even yelped. I thought we were getting mugged, but then I recognized the man.

_Mike._

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked, launching myself in front of Chester to stop Mike from punching him. Mike stopped at time and stared at me with his eyes bulging out with wrath.

"ME? YOU'RE GETTING INVOLVED WITH A CRIMINAL AND YOU ASK ME WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?" He yelled, trying to get to Chester. I stopped him and pushed him away with all the strength I had. Mike stared at me and calmed down for a moment, chuckling in the process. "I thought you were smarter than this, princess. Dating trash like Chester."

"You have no business in this. What do you want from him?"

"Ana, don't..." I head Chester whimper behind me.

Mike ignored me and turned his attention to Chester.

"You haven't told her yet, have you? That's why she was practically humping you back there. She doesn't know, otherwise, she wouldn't be here," Mike started laughing and I was burning in rage, about to explode.

"SHUT UP!" Chester yelled, throwing himself at Mike.

Luckily, I stopped him at time.

"Chester, don't... It's not worth it. Let's go home," I begged.

I pushed Chester away, trying to make him walk away, but Mike grabbed my arm and pulled me to him.

"No, princess. You're not going anywhere. I'm just trying to teach Chester a lesson about honesty and how not to fuck up other's people's lives. He had done it with me and he's going to do that to you. He's going to learn how to be honest with someone and tell the truth about who we really are."

"Mike, no..." Chester whispered, with his eyes leaking. 

He was feeling desperate, not knowing what to do. There was only one thing he was sure: our fairytale was about come to an end. Mike was about to tell me everything and I would run away for good. 

Maybe that wasn't all bad. I deserved better.

Better than someone like him.

"Mike, yes," Mike mocked him, but then grabbed him by his collar and pulled him to his face. "Her blood is in your hands. Directly or indirectly. It is your fault. No matter what you say or anyone else."

"Her blood?" I asked, my heart almost stopped when I heard those words. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Mike let go of Chester and looked at me. Then, he smiled at Chester.

"My sister's. Chester killed my sister."

***

Mike went away as he saw the petrified look on my face.

It was like he was satisfied with the outcome of the night. Finally, Chester would be left alone again, with no joy. His sister wasn't able to experience joy because of him, so it seemed only fair to him that Chester didn't experience it too.

"Chester," I whispered.

Chester was frozen, pale, and looked like he was about to faint at any moment. His muscles were all contracted as if he was in grave danger.

He was in shock. 

Looking into nothing with his eyes widened. Like he was staring at a ghost.

I didn't know how to make him react. I didn't know how to react. Nor what to think about what Mike said. Chester would never hurt anyone. I'm sure of that. I didn't know what happened, but I chose to give him an opportunity to explain. I know, it's Chester, and I will need a lot of patience to know what truly happened. But - I mean - Mike said he killed his sister. I'm Chester's girlfriend, I think I have every right to know what really happened now.

I stepped in front of him.

My hands cupped his cheeks and forced him to look at me.

"Chester... Please..." 

Chester nodded his head and closed his eyes. Then, he tried to walk away, but I grabbed his wrist and stopped him. He looked at me with pleading eyes.

"You can't just leave me without telling me what really happened. You shouldn't be afraid. I won't leave you without knowing the truth, but I need to know what happened. Mike said you killed his sister. I -- I deserve to know... you know that."

Chester looked at my hand, clenching his wrist without giving him space to walk away.

"I don't... I don't know if I can... It hurts..." He muttered.

I let go of his arm and straightened my posture. 

Chester and I have been dating for a couple of months now. And since the beginning, he has been hiding things from me. That's alright. He's sharing them, slowly, but he is. Sometimes I think he overreacts and overthinks about that stuff, and that's why he has no courage to tell me about them. But this matter is not something small, nor insignificant. And now that I'm aware of only part of the truth, as someone that always been there for him, I felt like he had to tell me. 

I tried not to push him into anything he didn't want to. But not this time. 

How would we continue together if he doesn't trust me with something this big.

"Chester, you're going to have to decide if you truly want me in your life. If you really feel about me that way you told me, you have to gather the courage and tell me right now."

Chester gulped and looked down.

"This is the last time I'm asking you," I said trying to be harsh, but when Chester buried his head in his hands and sobbed, I felt my heart breaking into tiny little pieces never to become whole again. I reached for his hands and pulled him to me. "Have faith in me... Please..."

I pulled away and looked at him in the eyes.

Chester turned his back on me and walked back to the lakeside and sat on the floor.

I watched him as he stared at the lake and after a moment of wiping my tears, I sat quietly by his side and waited for him to be ready.

xxx

**Chester P.O.V.**

xxx

_** Flashback to 10 years ago **_

Whenever Mike's parents weren't at home, he would buy some drinks and invite the whole school to have a party. He's been doing this since I remember, but as the years have passed, the parties were getting bigger and bigger.

His house is huge. I don't know if his parents are rich or not, but they have three cars, a huge garden with a huge swimming pool and they even have a personal mini-gym for Mr. Shinnoda. 

Mike was never one to brag about his parent's money. He is a simple kid and that's why we are best friends. Since my parents' divorce, I've been having a hard time to adapt to my new life, but I can always count on Mike.

We met Joe, Brad, Rob, and Dave years later when our music teacher decided to join us in a band. Mike and I are childhood friends and loved to play our guitars. Mike has always been better at that like he was born to play instruments, and I simply loved to sing. Not to brag, but I managed to do cool things back then. Apparently, our teacher liked our chemistry and decided to introduce us to other students from another school to see if we had any future together.

After what happened that night, I don't know if we would achieve anything together, but we became best friends since we met. We were simply inseparable.

And then, there was _Mia_.

Mike's sister.

She was 14 at the time it happened. I was 2 years older than her, but she seemed too grown for a little girl. I've known her practically since I've known Mike and I've always been fascinated by her. 

Obviously, I'd never do anything. Mike is like a brother to me. But sometimes he acts like a jerk around her and that was too painful to watch.

That night, like many others, there was a party. His parents decided to take a weekend away, leaving Mike alone to take care of Mia. And Mike had the stock filled with alcohol. It was pouring outside, so the party was confined to the huge living room and the kitchen.

I was drinking a beer when Mia approached me.

She sat by my side, very close to me, and I trembled. She was my first love, but at the same time, I couldn't anything about it.

"I don't have anything interesting to tell you, but I really wanted to talk to you," she admitted.

I looked at her and noticed how close our faces were and just smiled at her. I noticed something by the corner of my eyes and froze when I saw Dave nodding his head. He was the one that talked to me because he noticed how close we always have been, and he saw what was really happening. So he approached me advised me to forget Mia for good because Mike would never approve that.

"I have to go," I said, rushing away from her.

"Chester! Chester, I need to talk to you about something!" I heard her talking, but I ignored her.

When I reached Dave's side, he whispered.

"Dude, you need to get away from her. You know how overprotective Mike is."

"He treats her like shit, Dave," I said, my heart breaking as I saw her going upstairs with tears in her eyes. I liked everything about her: her brown curly hair, her almond-shaped eyes, and the way she smiles at me every time I'm around.

"But he loves her anyway and no one gets close to her. Chester, I'm saying this for your own good."

"I know," I answered, getting lost in my own thoughts.

Half an hour later, Mia was back. But something was so off.

I watched her as she bumped against people. She apologized, only to fall again against them. Then, she'd laughed hard for no reason and simply walked away. 

When her eyes met mine, she smiled widely and walked in my direction.

And as soon as she neared me, I could see her puffy eyes from crying, the redness in them, and the intense smell of alcohol and vomit.

"Mia, have you been drinking?" Dave asked.

Rob and Brad approached us at that moment and surrounded us, watching the scene unfold.

"I'm almost 15 years old. I can have a little taste, can't I? It's not like I'm committing a crime," she yelled.

"Actually you are," Rob muttered.

"Mia, calm down," I said, grabbing her wrist. She looked at me and her rage dissipated. She smiled and glued her body to me. I widened my eyes and froze, not knowing what to do.

"I love you, Chester," she said loud enough for everyone to hear.

Brad widened his eyes and stared at me.

"Mia, please, go to bed. You're not well."

"I'm well, as long as I'm with you. I love you," she pulled away and looked me in the eyes, cupping my cheeks. God, I wanted to kiss her so badly. But by the corner of my eyes, I noticed Mike approaching us with his eyes furrowed. 

I pushed her away immediately and forced a mad expression to my face.

"You're drunk, and you're too young for me. Did you think I'd like to date a child like you? You're still a little girl that all she knows about is how to dress up her barbies with the latest fashion trends. I don't want anything to do with you, just -- leave me alone!"

The moment I spoke those stupid and untrue words, I regretted for the rest of my life.

And the worst part? She was so hurt at the moment, but she managed to understand why I changed my behavior so suddenly.

Mike heard everything and rushed through the crowd, immediately throwing a punch in my face.

I started bleeding through my nose and yelled in pain.

Everyone around us either encouraged the fight or grabbed Mike to stop him from beating my ass. I deserved it, though. God knows how I really deserved it.

"Are you out of your mind? No one talks to my little sister that way!"

"I can defend myself, shut up!" Mia yelled.

"Get the fuck out of my sight. Go to your room, take a bath to wash away that filthy smell and we'll talk in the morning," he yelled at her. 

The people around us stopped the music and watched the scene in front of us.

"And you," he pointed a finger at me. "Get the fuck out! You're not welcome here anymore."

"Mike!" Rob scolded him, and Mia just ran away from that fight, disappearing through the back door that led to the back yard. No one could predict how that night was going to end, nor that we would never be the same.

At the time, I thought that we were all drunk and we would all be alright in the morning. I would talk to Mia and tell her that I'm sorry for being a jerk, but the truth was that as much as I liked her, we couldn't be together, And Mike's reaction that night only proved that.

We fought for the next 5 minutes until Dave yelled that the party was over and sent everyone away. The rest of the guys remained there, stopping Mike from beating me up. I decided to come clean about the way I felt about Mia and told Mike that I really like her for years.

Mike had to be held more tightly because he threw himself at me.

"You're disgusting! It's my sister, Chester! My sister! You betrayed our friendship."

"Come on, dude! He never did anything behind your back. And she doesn't even know that he likes her," Dave said, trying to calm things down,

"You knew?" Mike said.

"I found out all by myself, it was not that hard to see. And it's not a big deal."

"NOT A BIG DEAL? IT'S MY FUCKING SISTER!"

"Shinoda, CALM THE FUCK DOWN! Would you rather have her dating a random asshole or your best friend that you've known since you were kids?" Brad scolded him.

Mike paused for a moment, considering what he told him. Well, Brad was kinda right, I had to admit that. But still, I loved my best friend's sister. That never ends well.

"I don't care. You have no place in this house anymore, get out!" Mike ordered.

"Mike, bro, com--"

"Don't call me bro. Don't even say my n--"

Mike was interrupted when a loud scream was heard outside. We all ran through the back door and saw one of the girls that were at the party screaming and running away. We scanned the area to check why the fuck she was screaming and when my eyes landed on the pool, I saw my world breaking apart.

_Mia_.

Floating in the water.

Her body was limp and her head was buried in the water.

And there was blood all around her dissolving into the water, dancing in a deadly slow motion as the raindrops fell on it.

Everyone started yelling and I ran to the pool, diving, and swimming to grab her. The guys jumped in too and helped me take her out.

When I turned her around, I wanted to throw up. She was pale, not breathing and her wrists had to vertical cuts.

And there was nothing we could have done for her.

***

"What have we done to deserve this?" My mother screamed after beating me up. After what happened, I was in shock. Everyone was in shock, really. But that didn't stop them from blaming me, insulting me, and hitting me until the police showed up and stopped them.

Then, when my parents knew what happened and got to the police station to get me, I went through all that over again.

I didn't fight them back, though. I don't know if I was frozen because of the shock, or because of the guilt.

"You're a disgrace. You're not of this family anymore!" She continued.

My half-sister and my other brothers tried to stop her, but she hit them too. She was blind with rage. And she only stopped when my father showed up and forced her to stop.

He forced her out of the room and closed the door of my bedroom.

Then, he sat on a chair and looked at me.

"Tell me everything that happened," and I did. Between sobs and a lot of nausea, I did. Everything, including the fact that I liked her back.

My father is a cop and I thought that he would understand. But he didn't. And he beat me up to. To the point where I almost couldn't fell any more physical pain. I fell asleep that night, curled up in the corner of my bedroom, flinching every time my wounds burn. The only image in my head was that wonderful girl floating on the pool, her beautiful face pale as a wall, lifeless. How I wished that I joined her, how I wished it was me instead of her.

The next day, they didn't even let me out of the room. They didn't give me food. They didn't let me take a bath or use the bathroom. They treated me like trash. And I felt like trash.

I couldn't understand why Mia did that. I learned that words could have great consequences if we don't use them carefully and I couldn't help but feel guilty, guilty because she killed herself after being a complete asshole with her. She was too young to end like this, she was too pure to have such a horrible fate. And when the police found out the real reason why she took her life, everyone felt bad for blaming me, but it was too late. The damage was done and it was irreparable - I was guilty. By the time the police told what truly happened, I had lost too much weight - I was skin and bones - and I turned to alcohol. Then, there were parties, and women, and drugs. 

Then, there was depression. And a suicidal attempt.

If Rene didn't show up in time, I'd be dead. I took a good amount of pills, sat on the empty bathtub and waited. She came back home earlier and called an ambulance just in time.

After that, I left home without any intention of coming back.

Mike never forgave me for what happened that night and even though the police found out what truly happened, he blamed me more than anyone ever did. And his rage towards me increased over the years. I moved from town to town and he always managed to spoil it for me.

When I tried suicide the second time, I cut my wrists, just like she did. 

Once again, Rene found me. She had stolen my key and made a copy just in case. And when I stopped answering her calls, she drove for 2 hours to see me. She saw me sitting on the kitchen floor, watching myself bleeding to death. But she didn't give up on me. She took care of me after I got out of the hospital and introduced me to her new boyfriend, who was a psychologist. I managed to get better, studied and got a job as a music teacher.

Mike, on the other hand, devoted his life to his revenge. Even after his parents attempt to show him the evidence that proved that I wasn't the one to blame, he didn't care. He turned against them and ran away from home. And he followed me around ever since, threatening me, remembering me how I killed his sister and how he will always make my life a living hell.

He was achieving his goal pretty well until Ana showed up in my life and showed me that I could be happy. 

With her by my side.

But after knowing my story, and if she's smart enough, she's going to get away as far as she can go. And if she does that, I'd be thankful anyway because she made me feel worthy for the first time in my life. 

That's the best thing someone could ever do for me.


	30. The day everything changed pt. II

When Chester finished his story, I didn't dare to speak. I even tried not to breathe too loud, or move an inch. I was processing everything in silent, allowing my brain to make meaning of the things he said. It was quiet inside my head, though. His confession finally made me connect the dots, understand why he is the way he is. Every question, every doubt, every fear that I ever had towards him, finally had an explanation.

I know that there's a lot more to know about. But it finally made sense.

I can't blame Mike for what he feels. It must be too painful to lose someone you love like that and at such a young age. I only blame him for directing his pain to Chester. But I do understand him now. It makes sense.

What I still didn't understand was why Mia had killed herself. There has to be something else that Chester hadn't told me. He said there was proof. But why does Mike keep blaming him if there is such proof? It's... it's hard to understand.

But I can finally understand Chester's history of pain, sadness, and depression.

It hurts badly to know his history, though. To know that he endured all of that, all these years, without seeking help. And it hurts badly that he thought for a second that I'd run away from him after knowing the truth. 

_I would never run away from him. _

Especially now that I realized what is happening to me, and why I feel a turmoil of strong feelings inside me every time he is next to me. It's like a thunderstorm that forms deep inside the dark clouds, threatening to explode, and when it finally explodes, I don't know what might happen, but I'd really like to know.

Chester, on the other hand, was trembling, not knowing why I hadn't spoken for 10 minutes. He didn't ask though, he feared that if I heard his voice one more time that I'd finally get up and fly away for good.

When I moved my hand to rest on his knee, it was like some sort of electricity ran through his veins.

"Hey," my voice broke and it was just a whisper. "Are you ok?" 

_It's a stupid question, but it was the only thing I thought about: knowing how he is feeling.  
_

"I guess," he shrugged.

"Tell me about Mia." This made Chester look at me confused. "What was she like, what did she enjoyed to do, stuff like that."

"I -- uh -- she... she was a good girl. Good grades, scout girl, liked to help other people... She... she wanted to be a doctor someday, so she studied hard," he smiled. "She was the girl that no one wanted to hang around because she was so nerdy, but she was so different from everyone else. And when my parents got divorced, she was too young to understand why I was sad, but she did understand. She even offered me one of her barbies to keep me company at night."

I smiled weakly.

"She seemed nice to me."

"She was..." He looked down again.

"You blame yourself because you think that if you hadn't talked to her like that she wouldn't kill herself, isn't it?"

Chester looked at me surprised. I hit the jackpot. And he flinched when he processed my words, knowing how true they were to him.

"Well, heartbreaking, even at a young age as Mia, is not a reason to commit suicide, Chester. You said the police found proof that she didn't commit suicide because of you, but even before, when you told me what happened to her, I knew that there was a lot more behind the reason she killed herself for."

He furrowed his brows.

"What I am trying to say is: no matter what happened that night, it wasn't your fault. If she had not committed suicide that night, she would have done it any other day. You didn't make it happen, not with your words, not with your rejection. It was not your fault."

Chester didn't nod his head or contradicted my words. He remained quiet, and I noticed how trembling he was. The night was warm, so there was no reason for him to be shaking like that, maybe it was the shock. Either way, I decided that it was time to go back home. 

I got up and held a hand for him.

"Come on, let's go home. We both need to drink something warm to relax."

Chester took my hand reluctantly, afraid of physical contact.

We walked in silence, but I never let go of his hand. He tried to take it away, but I grabbed him.

When we arrived at our building, I opened my apartment and guided him to the kitchen where I put some water boiling.

Then, I looked at Chester, who was in utter silence and sighed. 

"You'll sleep with me tonight, alright?"

Chester looked at me confused.

"I won't sleep if I stay up all night worried about you going home alone," I approached him slowly and softly placed my lips on his. "I'm afraid that... if I let you go, you will never come back to me."

I looked him in the eyes and he simply nodded, accepting my request.

I went to the bathroom to change my clothes and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were puffy and red from crying. It has been a bumpy night. Chester and I were so well, ready to come home and do stuff that we are both dying to do, and then Mike showed up and spoiled everything. At least now I know the truth and can help Chester more properly. He is a mess right now. I know that he feared that I might turn my back on him, but I would never do that. My feelings for him are strong, more than I ever imagined, and I can't picture my life with him.

It's funny how a few months can change your heart.

And how a simple person can contribute so much for your happiness.

When I was done with my thoughts and was ready to go to bed, I came back to the bedroom, only to find Chester sitting on the edge of my mattress with his elbows on his knees and his head buried in his hands.

"Chester, you can get ready now."

I tried to sound soft, but he didn't move. 

I walked over him, sat by his side and stroked his back, while my head leaned in against his shoulder and planted a kiss there.

"It's going to be alright, love," that nickname made him look up. "And I'm not going anywhere."

He nodded his head and disappeared into the bathroom. 

Minutes later he was back, only wearing his boxers, and got inside my sheets.

I opened my arms and gestured him to come closer. Reluctantly, he approached me and rested his head between my breasts and my neck. My hand immediately started caressing his hair.

"I want you to know that I don't think about you differently. You are the same Chester I knew. You have a hard past, and I'm ready to hear everything you want to tell me. But you need to know that I'll never let you go for that."

"Are you for real?" He muttered and I felt his body relax at last.

"I am here, ain't I?"

He didn't say anything else. Instead, he kissed my exposed chest and rested his head again. We both had a hard time falling asleep, but we eventually closed our eyes and calmed down our minds to get some rest.

In the morning, I felt like I was hit by a train.

Chester was still sleeping, but this time I was the one embraced in his arms.

I didn't dare to move, though. He was resting so peacefully that I didn't want to disturb him.

One hour later, Chester was awakening and I smiled at him.

"Good morning, sunshine," I said.

Chester looked down at me in his arms and smiled as soon as he realized where he was.

"Good morning, Ana."

I kissed his lips gently.

"Breakfast?"

He hummed and I moved to go to the kitchen. But when I tried to free myself from his arms, he tightened his arms around me and trapped me there.

"Hey..." I said, being shushed by his lips devouring mine.

When he was finished, he looked me in the eyes with his two humble brown orbs and just smiled.

We had breakfast in silence, occasionally kissing each other. I looked at the clock and it was time to get ready to leave. My parents will be waiting for us in one hour and a half. I wondered if Chester still wanted to go.

It seemed like he read my thoughts.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower and get dressed. I'll be back in 15 and we'll leave for your parents' house."

He rang my bell 15 minutes later, as he said he would, and I was waiting for him with a bag ready to spend the night there. Chester was wearing a white shirt and tight dark blue jeans that made him absolutely delightful to my sight. I tried not to stare for too long, but he noticed anyway and smirked.

The ride to my parent's house was silent most of the time. I wanted to make sure he was alright before we arrived, so I stopped the car on the side of the road, which wasn't random - there's a great view over a lake and the rest of the city. He looked at me confused and I turned off the car.

"We're almost there. I need to know if you're alright, Chester. We didn't talk about yesterday, and I won't pressure into talking, but I want to know if you really wanna do this. I mean... it's my house and all. If you're not ready, I'm totally fine with it and I --"

"Hey," he placed a hand on my knee. "I'm here because I want to, ok?"

"Ok..."

I grabbed his hand and kissed it gently.

5 minutes later we were back on the road, and a few miles later, we were at the gates of my parent's house.

I noticed how Chester opened his mouth in shock when he saw the huge white gates open and how big my front garden was. _Wait until you see the back_, I thought to myself.

Then, his eyes landed on the big white mansion in front of us. I parked my car and turned it off, not daring to move from my seat as he processed everything around us.

"I... You lived here?"

"Not anymore," I said, intertwining my fingers with his.

"Just... wow," he was out of words.

After leaving the car, I took him home to my family, and he became strange. Like he was trying to keep a distance from me. He let go of my hands as soon as we walked in, and his eyes never met mine for a second. 

When Nanna and my sisters showed up, they talked for some time as I introduced him as my boyfriend. He hugged me for a while at the moment, but then he pulled away and kept his body away. This went on through lunch and the beginning of the evening.

My dad insisted on showing him the house himself and I let them go.

I went to my mother's side on the porch and talked to her for some time. Nothing too important, just something casual while my dad stole my boyfriend. I only hoped that he wasn't giving him any lecture about _don't hurt my daughter or I'll hurt your balls_. That would definitely scare him away.

Since they were nowhere to be seen, I went to my bedroom for a while. Last night was a mess, and I was so sleepy. I just needed to rest for half an hour. So, I curled up in a ball under my sheets and closed my eyes for a moment. I must have been really tired because it didn't take me too long to fall asleep deeply. I don't know what I dreamt about, but I dreamed about Chester. It was not a pleasant dream, because I woke up in a jolt. 

My eyes quickly landed on the body next to me, reading a book from my shelf.

"Are you ok?" I heard Chester's hoarse voice by my side.

"Yeah, bad dream," I said, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. "Are you done with your tour through the house?"

"Actually, no. Your father showed me around and invited me to ride his horse with him. We came here to ask you to give me equipment, but since you were so peacefully sleeping he told me to call him when you wake up."

"Oh -- My dad really liked you," I said and he laughed.

"I hope so. Otherwise, this is just a plan to run over me with his horse."

I laughed at his words and stretched my body.

"Come on, I'll show you the equipment you need. It's just a helmet and something for your knees in case you fall off your horse. Of course, none of that is 100% safe if you fall down and the horse run over you, you can break your legs, your arms, your spine, your face. But it is a beautiful hobby none the same," I said nonchalantly, laughing harder when I saw Chester's pale and scared face. "I'm joking..."

He narrowed his brows.

"Ok, I am not joking, but it's going to be alright," I said, giving him what he needed. I turned around to go back to the house.

"You're not coming?"

"Oh no, I'm sure my father will take this time to give you _The talk_, so... Nope," I loved the scared face he was showing me that day. Absolutely hilarious. It almost made me forget about what happened the night before. It almost made me forget the truth about his past.

I lived those moments over and over again inside of my head, feeling a sting in my heart when I think about how much he suffered over the years, and how neglected he was. I mean, I would never leave him behind, even if he tries to push me away. Chester needs that, need someone that is willing to go against everything and everyone just to give him the opportunity to be happy. And for what I can tell, he is happy when he's with me. I'd never want him to go through that pain alone, never again.

My sisters and my mother were at the house, talking in the living room. I joined them.

"I'm so glad you're here," Rachel said. "And that you finally got laid."

"Rachel!" I widened my eyes at her, knowing that my mother was listening and would probably faint any minute.

"Rachel, mind your tongue," my mother scolded her.

"I am sorry, mother. Ana, I am truly happy for you. Chester seems really nice," she said and I knew she was not sorry for her words.

"Thank you, Rach... He is..." I smiled. My mother rolled her eyes and huffed making me, Rachel and Monica look at her. "What is it now, mom?"

"I still can't understand what you see in him," she said, looking down at the magazine, avoiding eye contact. She knew she was going to start a war with her words, so she hid her face behind the magazine.

"Have you looked at him?" Monica said abashedly. "I can totally see what Ana sees in him!"

I punched her in her arm. I am no jealous. I am just not fond of the idea of having anyone else admiring how heavenly well-made he is.

"Can't you just be happy that I am happy?"

My mother looked at me for a while and sighed.

"Alright. I'll give him the benefit of doubt, but I'll only be ok with this relationship of yours after analyzing the way he treats you," she said.

"I can live with that," I smiled. 

Rachel and Monica told me about the latest gossip in their world, and I gladly heard every word. My mother was just smiling behind the magazine, hiding her tears of joy for having her family reunited once again.

Our conversations as interrupted when we heard two familiar male voices laughing and talking loud. We looked back and opened our mouths in shock when we laid our eyes on Chester and father. They were dripping wet, clothes soaking and dirty. Apparently, the watering system turned on and they were caught in the middle of the grass. 

I laughed so hard, but my eyes were basically glued to Chester's white shirt.

"Honey, maybe Chester could take a shower before dinner, I'm sure he must be shivering. I know I am," my father said to me. "Show him where he can shower and give the man a towel. The maids are going to get mad if they see the wet floor."

I nodded my head and asked Chester to follow me, laughing at the splash sound of his shoes.

"This is not funny," he said, trying to contain his laughter.

"Actually, it is," I said, turning the hot water on. I got on my knees and took a towel from the cabinet, widening my eyes when I saw Chester unbuttoning his shirt. The way his white shirt became almost transparent and glued to his body made me gulp and tremble. If he hasn't taken the towel in his hand, I would certainly let it fall on the floor.

I didn't move though. I didn't even talk.

I just stood there, watching him getting undressed.

When he took off the shirt and went for his pants, he stopped.

"Are you alright?" He asked, noticing how I was staring and how delighted I was.

I looked down at the floor, knowing that my cheeks were burning red. I gulped once again and closed my eyes, trying to contain myself. But when I felt him approach me and force me look up at him, I gave in and pressed my lips hard against him. 

He was taken aback by that sudden attack, but his arms pulled me to him. What left him more surprised was how I pushed him against the washbasin, with my hands wandering his six-pack and his muscled arms. I squeezed his arms several times to make sure he was real, to make sure that I wasn't just daydreaming about my neighbor.

Then, my hands started going down his bare chest, above his belly and moving closer to the edge of his pants.

He stopped me.

"Hey, what got into you?" He beamed out of breath.

"I want you. Now." I admitted, kissing his tattoed chest that I fell in love with several months ago.

"At your parents' house?" He asked in a surprised tone.

"Anywhere," I looked at him, leaning my forehead against his.

The hot water running unnecessarily in the shower was fogging the bathroom, the air was getting thicker and it was getting hard to breathe. The tension in that small room was absolutely arousing and the fact that we were at my parents' house, was turning him on even more. But he knew that we'd get in trouble if we spend to much time together in the bathroom since dinner was about to be served.

"We have to go downstairs for dinner," he said, trying to lighten up the situation.

"Fuck dinner," I immediately said.

"Hey, baby -- " I did let him talk, I just crushed my lips against his and my hands started unbuttoning his pants. Chester wasn't capable of resisting anymore, but he knew if he let me continue, he wasn't going to stop. So, in a quick movement, he turned me around, crashed me against the washbasin and pressed his body between my legs, while he devoured my lips. Then, he grabbed my wrists behind my back with one hand, and -- gently but firm enough -- grabbed my neck and pushed me away. He looked at me with dark eyes filled with lust and the most devilish desires and licked his swollen lips. "We'll have time for that after dinner."

I pouted and he bit my lower lip.

"After dinner. I promise you," he said humbly, his forehead against mine, trying to control his own urges and mine.

"I won't forget your promise," I said, still frustrated.

"Me neither," he said before pulling away from me to get undressed. I walked away from the bathroom because I knew I wasn't going to resist him if I saw him fully naked, with the hot water running down his body.

I bit my lips while I went downstairs, shaking my head at the images I was seeing.

Soon after, Chester was dressed up and had my favorite perfume on, which drove me even more insane. I ate dinner mostly quiet, trying not to acknowledge the hottest man in the world by my side.

He was strange, though. I was trying to control myself, but he was distant. Cold even.

I grabbed his hand under the table several times and after a second, he pulled it away from my grasp.

When no one was looking, I whispered in his ear.

"You're acting strange. Was it because of what happened in the bathroom? We won't do anything if you don't feel like it," I said, worried about him.

He nodded his head and showed me a weak smile.

"It's not about that," he said.

"We'll have to talk after dinner, Chester," I said with a serious expression, knowing that something was going on inside his head.

He just nodded his head and tried to be as polite as possible during dinner. I told him that my mother was trying to accept him and would have her eyes on him. She wanted to know if he treated me as he should, and that dinner was crucial for her approval. But the rest of the dinner and the night went on without any problems, which was making me even more nervous about the conversation we were going to have when the night is over.

I opened my bedroom door but didn't turn on the light. Instead, I walked to the window and opened it, allowing the mild breeze of summer to warm my room.

"Come on," I told Chester before climbing out of my window, to the usual spot I'd sit when I wanted to be alone at night.

When Chester sat by my side, I lay my back against the roof tiles, looking at the sky. He mimicked me.

"I'd come here whenever I needed some space or if I needed to think about something. Before running away from this house, I'd come here a lot. Almost every day. Even when it was raining," I said, even though Chester hasn't spoken a word.

He watched the few stars in the sky and somehow a sense of calm took over him. Chester took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Tell me more about Mia," I suddenly asked.

His heart tightened for a moment, but he was so relaxed that he spoke easily. 

"She was beautiful. Kind. She studied so hard back then and she was only 14. But even though all she thought about was studying, she was really funny. She was the perfect teenager that would end up being a doctor or something that made her parents proud." He paused for a moment, thinking about what she wanted to do when she was older, but he couldn't remember. It was a long time ago... "She was always the Sportsgirl. And she did ballet when she was little. She was studying violin for two years when..." He gulped. "That's when I started liking her when I heard her playing. I know that it was just some childish crush that I'd forget when I grew older, but, I don't know, I really liked her. If someday I have kids, I'd like my daughter to have a good heart as Mia had."

"Do you think that if that didn't happen, you'd be together at any moment in your life?" I asked.

"I don't know... I wish I could know the answer... I wish she could have lived enough to know the answer," he whispered, his voice too weak to be properly spoken.

I rubbed his hand and gave it a little squeeze.

"I don't think Mike will ever let it go," he admitted. "He blamed me for it the moment it happened and he never stopped since then."

"Did you ever considered telling the police?" I asked and sensed how uncomfortable he was feeling. "I mean, I am not telling you to do it, but... I'm scared of him, seriously. He seems so unstable, Chester."

"His sisters died, Ana. Anyone would be unstable," he said with a slightly irritated tone in his voice.

"Yes, unstable as in griefing and crying, not becoming a dangerous stalker."

"He is not dangerous," he said as if he was trying to convince himself.

"Yeah, right. I saw how he acted towards you, Chester. And around me. He followed me twice, you know?" Chester looked at me with his eyes narrowed. "I am not scared of the man himself, I am scared of what he might do to you."

"Don't worry about that, I have been living for the past years with him ruining my life over and over again," he muttered, pulling his body up to a sitting position.

"Well, I am in your life now. I think I have every right to worry about that," I said, getting up to go back to my bedroom. "I will say it over and over again: it was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done and Mike is a dangerous stalker that needs help. Professional help. And I worry about you because you are a good person that doesn't deserve this shit."

I reentered my bedroom and Chester followed me, slightly abashed by my words.

"There's so much that you don't know yet. If this didn't scare you away, certainly the rest will," he said as if he was scolding me for sticking up with someone like him.

I rolled my eyes and turned to him.

"I want you anyway, Chester. The past is in the past -- or it should be."

"You're making a mistake," he said, making me walk towards him.

"No. You're not a mistake. You're the best thing that ever happened in my life," I cupped his cheeks and caressed him with my thumbs, looking into his dark brown eyes.

"Even after knowing what happened, you still want me?" He whispered, his hoarse voice breaking in each word. "I'm a killer, a junkie, an alcoholic, depressive and suicidal."

"Yet, here you are. With me," I quickly answered him.

"I am not stable, Ana. I have a horrifying past. And you just know half of it!" He brushed his hair back in despair, getting away from my grip. "After what I told you, you didn't change your opinion... Aren't you scared of me or even disgusted?"

"No. And the fact that you were brave enough to share it with me only change one thing," I gulped and cursed myself for what I was about to say. Not that it is not true, on the contrary. But because I'm afraid of what it might do to him-

"What?" He asked, looking at me with his hands still on the top of his head.

"It makes me love you even more."

He didn't speak.

I didn't speak.

The room around us become so silent that it was making my head hurt. There was a knot in my throat and a voice in the back of my head calling me a fool for saying it out loud.

A tear strolled down my cheek.

"You can't possibly love me. It's... that's... that's impossible," he said, slowly lowering his arms with his eyes fully opened, staring right at me.

I was afraid that this reaction meant that it was too soon to say it, or that he didn't love me back. The first thing that occurred through my mind was fear. Fear of rejection. Fear that these three little words were too big for him and, because of them, I was scared to death that he would run away from me. For good. But I've told him how I really feel and there's no turning back. So, there was only one thing left to say.

"I love you, Chester."

"Oh, God. You do?"

I nodded, every piece of my being shaking. "Yes, I love you. I always loved you." 

What he did next was out of this world and I was so confused. He started chuckling, approached me quickly, kissing every little piece of skin on my face and whispering to God knows who.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you..." Then he cupped my cheeks and made me look him in the eyes. "God, Ana, I love you. I love you so much."

I gasped at the words, but he didn't give me the opportunity to speak anymore. Chester had his lips pressed against mine, his arms were around my waist, pulling me to him. The way his tongue moved inside of me showed me how urgent his urges were. I couldn't blame him, I was dreaming about this moment for too long, to finally give in and offer all of me to him.

His hands traveled down and pulled me up to his lap, to straddle my legs behind his waist. I threw my arms around his neck and intensified the kiss, grinding my hips against his, a moan escaping his heavenly mouth.

He walked until I hit the desk behind me, where he placed my body and continued kissing me passionately. When we pulled away for air, both our mouths were red and swollen, but that didn't stop us to close the gap once again.

My hands immediately wandered his chest, searching for the hem of his sweater. Chester understood what I was trying to do and helped me take it off. I broke the kiss to look at his stunning torso filled with tattoos that comes from his wrist to his chest. Even though I don't know the meaning of most of them, I loved every single one. I couldn't resist the urge to kiss his glowing skin and this made him shiver. I felt him shiver under my lips and under my arms. A moan escaped his mouth as soon as my lips touched his skin. I kissed him and bit his skin several times, going up to his neck. He ground his hips harder against me and groaned when I attacked his neck and his shoulder.

His hands traveled down at the same time, unbuttoning my white woolen jacket that had nothing else under it than a simple white top, with no bra under. The jacket was enough to keep me warm and to cover my breast, so I prefer it this way. Chester loved it this way. He could feel my skin under the thin layer of the top and when he had the opportunity, his hand squeezed my breasts very lightly, like he was testing waters. He didn't want to be too pushy, even though all he wanted to do was to rip off those clothes of mine.

I felt him hardening against my hips as we continued our teasing against the desk where I studying for school for so many years. Now that innocent desk was about to see things that I never thought would happen to me.

When my woolen jacket finally fell off my arms, I pulled my arms up, indicating that Chester could take off my top. He stopped whatever he was doing to my chest with his mouth and looked at me. His eyes fell down to my nipples, clearly hard behind that top and he felt his pants getting tighter. With a swift movement, he slid the top up and away and just stared at me.

"You're so beautiful, Ana. You look so good right now," he whispered with his hoarse voice failing on him. The overwhelming sensation of the heavenly sight in front of me

His hands grabbed me by my hips again and pulled me to his lap, walking to the bed.

Once again, his lips met mine. But this time it was exploratory, almost sweet. He didn't let me fall on the bed like I was presuming he would. He slowly got on the bed, laying my body gently on the mattress, with his body on top of mine. He twined his fingers in my thick black hair behind my neck, while my hand found Chester's bare back and drew him closer. His hips ground against mine and I ground mine against him in an attempt to put out the fire between my legs. The fire that has been aching for him for too long now. 

My hands traveled down his chest until I met the button of his jeans. He gasped in my lips at the sensation but allowed me to undo his pants anyway. He pressed his tongue into my mouth with increasing pressure, slightly tipping his head to deepen the kiss.

When he was free from his jeans, he threw them away, withdrawing his mouth from mine in a slow process, gently finishing with his lips closed until he was no longer near me.

Then he looked down my body slowly, taking in the sight in front of him.

"I wanted you for so long, Ana." He admitted while his hands undid my pants and pulled them down, exposing my simple pink thong. He leaned down and started kissing me from my knee to my tight, going up to the inner side of my legs, to my belly until he reached my breasts. He kissed one of them and gently sucked the nipple.

I arched my back and moaned, giving him the sign that I enjoyed that very much. The next bite wasn't so gentle and before I knew it he was attacking both my nipples, grinding his hard shaft between my legs more vigorously. Both of us were out of breath when I pulled him up to kiss him hard.

My hands wandered his back to the hem of his black boxers. I played with the elastic, slowly pulling it down. Chester broke the kiss and pulled away to look down at my hands that reached out and traced my fingers around the shape of his erection. He shuddered under my touch and made a rather pained groan.

I was growing slicker and more heated by the minute and I could see that Chester couldn't handle it for much longer. 

I rubbed his shaft more vigorously and he moaned quietly.

"Fuck, Ana," he muttered.

I pulled his boxers down, freeing his cock. My eyes widened at the size. I am not the most experienced woman in this area, but it felt painfully hard and painfully big for me. But I tried not to show that I was scared of how it might feel inside of me and carefully seized my hand around him, making him tremble even more above me. I stroked him a few times before he attacked my lips again, with his hands pulling my panties down. I was completely naked under him and he was completely naked on top of me.

Skin to skin. Heart to heart.

"I love you," I muttered under my breath.

"I love you too, Ana," Chester replied, reaching out for my hips. Then, his fingers slid down to the middle of my legs, making him close his eyes in delight when he felt the mess I was because of him. "Fuck... you're so wet."

I gasped when he played with my soaked folds and penetrated me with his index finger, slowly going in and out, feeling how slick his finger was. That slow-motion was painfully pleasant but was driving me even more insane.

"Ches..." I muttered. "I need you now."

Chester looked at me and a slight smirk appeared on his lips, contrasting with the lustful dark in his beautiful doe-eyes. He took his fingers out and grabbed his cock to rub it against the wetness of my folds.

I moaned, feeling myself burning too hot for him, burning to feel him inside of me. I waited for too long for this, I couldn't wait any longer. The way my hips ground against his shaft, made him realize how hungry I was and how badly I needed him. He had no intention of teasing me more, so he aligned his tip with my entrance.

"I love you, Ana. Always have, and always will." A tear strolled down his cheek as he penetrated me slowly, opening his mouth in the process, a quiet moan escaping his swollen lips.

I tried to conceal the loud moan that was threatening to come out and bit my lower lip as I felt him stretching my walls until he was completely buried inside of me. He stood there for a moment, feeling how warm I was inside, how welcoming I was. I thought that his size and the gravity of his hardness would be painful for me, but he just fit me right.

Chester pulled himself out and thrust forward again, making both of us gasp and moan. His next thrust had me whimpering for more. I wrapped my leg around his waist and met his next thrust.

He rocked into me, holding me closer and moaning my name as he moved. My hands were tight against his back as I moved him, panting and whispering back to him. When he kissed me passionately and increased the pace of his thrust, it spiraled me higher, making me hanging at the edge. He pulled his body up and grabbed my hips, making his thrusts more hard and quicker. His eyes explored every inch of my body, bedazzled with the sight of my small body bouncing under him, my breasts in sync with his thrusts. His hands left my hips and clutched my breasts as he rocked even harder into me.

As I arched my back and trembled under him, he knew that I was close. Chester licked his thumb and rubbed it against my clit, sending me over the edge a few moments later.

I had to bite my own hand to stop me from screaming his name out loud.

"That's it, baby. Let go for me," he whispered, feeling himself at the cusp of his climax. I felt his cock hardening inside of me, his movements more rigid and quicker and it was too arousing that I felt that tension on my lower belly building again, that electricity running through my body that made me grab the sheets under me very tightly.

Chester gave a rapid series of thrusts before tilting his head down as he spread his cum inside of me. He tried not to make a noise as he split the last drop of himself inside and slowed down until he stilled.

"Fuck," I breathed out, feeling the sweat strolling down my forehead. "Fuck..."

Chester looked down at me, still panting, his body was mercifully beautiful with the drops of sweat rolling down, making his skin glow angelically under the dim light.

I held him close as he hugged me and shivered through his orgasm. 

Chester sensed me smiling and lifted his head to grin at me.

"You're amazing," I said.

"And you're beautiful. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen," he said, giving me a peck on my lips, slowly and peacefully, as if we had all the time in the world. "I can't grow tired of saying this, I love you. I love you so fucking much," he cupped my cheeks, stealing two more quick kisses.

"I love you too. I loved you from the beginning..." I smiled, staring into his beautiful shiny eyes that showed me nothing more than pure joy and love. "I don't know what happened to me, but when I saw you the first time, I... I knew that there was something in you that lured me immediately. And when you spoke about yourself the way you used to speak, I just wanted to show you how I see you. Because... because you are the most beautiful man that I've ever met, inside and outside. I am the better version of myself when I'm with you and all I want to do is to make you happy. Your smile is the best part of my day."

"My smile exists because of you, Ana. I had nothing before. And now I have you... I love you," he kissed me. "So... so... so much."

"Promise you'll never push me away from you. I hope that you can understand now how I really mean when I say that I am here to stay. There's nothing you can do or say that will make me not care," Chester looked down, away from my eyes, something flashing through his eyes. I lifted his chin to make him look at me. "I mean it. It's just me, you can always count on me."

"I know," he whispered weakly.

"Good," I said, pulling him by his cheeks to kiss him passionately, gently pulling his dark hair back. I chuckled between kisses when I noticed how slippery our skins were against each other. "I think we need a bath."

Oh, I was really enjoying staying inside of you," he joked, hiding his head in the crook of my neck.

"You can stay inside of me again after the bath," Chester raised his head to look at me.

"Let's go get a bath then," he immediately said with a grin on his lips.


	31. No more secrets

Chester woke up earlier the next morning. 

As the last night's memories came back to his mind, he felt a tear strolling down his cheek at the same time he smiled. He looked to the side of the bed where I should be sleeping. the sight making him sob once. I was completely naked, only a sheet covering the body that sent him to heaven the night before, and I looked so peacefully asleep with a relaxed and satisfied expression.

He didn't know how he was so lucky to find someone like me, but he quietly thanked God for that.

Not wanting to wake me up, he slid out of the bed, grabbed the first set of clothes he could find and left the room.

The big house was quiet, probably most of the people were sleeping. He went downstairs to find something to eat, his stomach was grumbling, complaining about the intense activity he had last night without having a proper meal after. He saw several apples in the counter and took one with him. Then, he walked through some corridors to find the room he saw when my father gave him a house tour.

He opened the door slowly, exposing the beautiful black piano he had seen before.

A smile appeared on his face when he read the papers still placed in front of the keyboard. It was a song that he didn't recognize. Probably an original. 

He sat on the piano and played one simple note. The piano sounded beautiful, echoing so pleasantly in that room. 

Chester took a moment, read the music in front of him and tried to learn it. After a few minutes, he was playing it fluently, a simple, yet beautiful ballad that caught someone's attention. The door of that room opened slightly, to confirm that the sound came indeed from the piano. Then it was snapped open by my mother who had her eyes watered. Those were her father's songs, he used to play the piano when he was alive and even composed 4 songs for his daughter. She hasn't been able to hear the songs for years. No one but me knew how to play the piano but I was never able to learn his songs, they were too painful for me to even try.

She stood at the door frame, in a silent cry as she heard the song she missed so much.

Chester finished the song and only then he noticed his audience.

"I -- I'm sorry, I couldn't resist," he said, afraid that she might be mad for his intrusion.

"No, please. Keep playing," she said. 

Chester furrowed his brows when he noticed the tears in her eyes.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked, honestly concerned.

"Yes... My father wrote those songs and... I haven't heard them in years..." She let a tear fall down her eyes. "Please, continue."

Chester nodded his head and started playing the next song. My mother entered the room and sat on the chair next to the piano, her eyes glued to his fingers playing each note she knew so well.

When he was finished, he rested his hands on his lap and looked at my mother.

"They are very well written," he said. "He had great talent. This is all he wrote?"

"I think so," she said. "At least those were the ones he used to play for me and for my daughters."

Chester noticed the sadness behind her voice and gulped. "It's an honor to play them for you."

"You played them so well, thank you," she said, smiling through her tears. She waved her hand in front of her eyes, trying to dry them and chuckling at the same time. "Oh, dear, I am a mess. I'm sorry."

Chester chuckled.

"Don't worry. I won't tell if you don't."

My mother laughed and smiled at him. 

"You are really a box full of surprises," she said. "I see why my daughter likes you that much."

Chester looked down at his hands with his cheeks reddened and his heart beating faster as he remembered how I accepted his past and told him I love him last night, completely offering myself to him. He smiled as he realized that I was there for him all along, showing him how I care, how I truly care. I didn't pretend around him, I never feigned any feeling. Everything about me was true and pure. 

He raised his head and looked at my mother.

"I may not be the man you idealized for your daughter. And maybe -- maybe I don't deserve the wonderful woman Ana is. But I promise you that I will do anything to make her happy." My mother was not expecting his words, but her eyes were immediately filled with tears again. "And I don't care if you accept our relationship or not, because I love her like I never loved anyone in my entire life. And she loves me," he smiled. "I don't know why, though. But she does. And I feel the luckiest person in the world for that."

That moment, my mother realized how her daughter had grown-up. And she couldn't be prouder of what I was becoming.

She smiled at Chester and nodded.

"Ana always has been the daughter that fought for what she believes. And when she fights for something she believes in, she's been always right. Maybe she is right again, with you."

"So..." Chester smiled. "That means you're not against our relationship? It means we have your blessing?"

"Yes, you have. But I don't really think you needed it at all," she smiled.

When I entered the room, I furrowed my brows at the sight. Chester was sitting on the piano, with a wide smile on his lips, and my mother was sitting next to him, with a smile on her lips, but with tears in her eyes.

When she noticed my presence she gestured me to approach her and hugged me tightly.

"I'm proud of you, baby girl. And I think you've found the one for you. I just want you to be happy." She turned to Chester, still crushing me against her. "If you ever hurt her, I'll kill you with my two hands. She's my princess. I hope you remember that."

Chester got up from his seat and walked over us.

"I will. I promise."

My mother was satisfied enough with the conversation, but it was all too overwhelming for her. So she made an excuse about going to check on my father, just to sneak out and cry like a baby.

Chester chuckled for no reason like someone said a joke only he was able to hear. I turned to him with one brow lifted, wondering what the hell happened in that room while I was sleeping. He smiled and pulled me to him.

"She called you a princess -- That reminds me of something."

"What?"

"You know what was one of the first things I've thought about you when I met you?"

"No."

Chester pulled away from the hug, his smile faded away just a little, and his hands started brushing strands of my long hair. I don't know why but my heart started beating too fast, and my breathing was becoming heavier. "That you look like one particular princess -- Snow White. You have such beautiful dark hair. It smells so good," then his fingers traveled down to my lips, brushing them with his fingertips, "your lips are as red as blood. I could kiss them all day," he approached his body to mine, automatically making me back away until I felt the piano behind me. 

Then, he barely touched my lips with his, teasing me just a little, but just enough to make me dizzy. He pulled away while his hand rested on the tip of my chin. The way he moved so gently over my skin made me shiver. I wanted so badly for him to touch me in the spots where my body burns so good. He makes me feel insane just by standing this close to me. But he wasn't done with me. Not yet. "Your cheeks are pinkish, like a doll," he kissed my right cheek. And what he did next felt like there was a line of fire as his hand gently slid down from my chin to my neck until it reached for my chest. It stood there, feeling my skin on fire under his fingers. "And your skin... Pale and soft. So soft... You smell like roses, baby... It drives me insane."

His hand traveled further down, his index finger hung for a moment on the v-cut from my shirt.

"You look like you came out of a fairytale. And you know what's better?" He approached his lips to my ear, biting my earlobe, while his hand continued going down so, so, so slowly - as if he wanted me to feel everything he was doing to me. "You're not only beautiful on the outside... You're perfect on the inside."

"Chester --" I gasped when I thought he was about to explore the inside of my pants. His fingers reached for the edge of my denim pants, teasing me a little more.

But then, he did something different from what I wanted him to do. His hand slid behind my back, rested on my waist and he pulled my body even closer, while his other arm embraced me in a tight hug.

"How was I so lucky?"

"I don't know," I chuckle under my breath.

I was panting so hard because of him. My panties were feeling so uncomfortable because they were basically drenched. That's one thing about Chester. With just one touch, I feel all wet for him. It's not that I think about him sexually all the time, it happens by itself. It's a consequence of being around him. My body just feels that way.

"Any woman would have run away from me in an instant if they knew me as you do. But you stayed..."

"I'm not any woman," I pouted.

"I know," Chester said.

Hours after we said our goodbyes to my family. I left with a wide smile on my lips, happy for my family acceptance. Considering everything that happened with Mike, I think this was the best weekend I have ever had with Chester. My family welcomed him with open arms, except for my mother that only accepted him at the end of our visit, we made love for the first time and there are no more secrets about what truly happened to Chester that night.

However, our ride back home was more silent than usual. Chester looked at the window the whole time and I didn't understand if he was just being Chester or if he was bothered by something. In the middle of the ride, I rested my hand on his knee, snapping him back from his thoughts.

He looked at my hand and hesitated for a while before squeezing it with his own hand. That was the biggest interaction we had until I parked my car and we both got inside of my apartment.

I threw my bag to my couch and quickly turned around to face Chester who was closing my door.

"Alright. Spit it out."

He furrowed my brows at me.

"You've been acting weird since we left my parents' house. Something is on your mind. Is it about me?"

Chester sighed and lowered his head, letting his bag fall on the floor next to his feet.

"Haven't you regretted it? Being with me, taking me to your home and having sex with me? I mean, after everything I told you..."

"What are you even talking about? Of course I didn't regret it."

"I -- I'm scared that you will. You will regret saying that you love me..." He started gabbling. "Do you really feel that way about me?"

I rolled my eyes in despair. Why does he always have to question everything? Why can't he just accept that I love him and that I care deeply about him and his well being? He doesn't see himself the way I see him, I get it. But my feelings for him are true and I think that I've shown him how much already. 

_Why can't he accept it?_

"Well, I love you and there's nothing you can say that will change that. Now, the question is, are you sure you want to do this? I mean -- if you have any doubts, I understand. But if y--"

Chester moved quickly over me and pressed his lips on mine, his arms pulling me tightly against his body.

"I love you, Ana. And it is such a relief that you know what happened..." he sighed, leaning his forehead against mine. "But there's so much more you don't know... I scared..."

I cupped his cheeks and kissed him again.

"You can tell me anything, Chester. I'm here for you..."

He closed his eyes for a moment. Then, he pulled away and searched for his keys inside his pockets. I watched him as he took me to his apartment and sat me on his couch. From the top of his shelf, Chester took an album and sat by my side, opening the cover.

"This... is like... my journal? It holds memories, photos, memories, and stuff like that that I kept over the past years. I started it after Mia died. The school's physiologist proposed it as a healing technique and I never stopped ever since," He turned over the first page and the first picture was from a baby. It was him.

My heart melted.

Then, he showed me pictures of a 10 years old Chester with his parents. One year before they got divorced. Then, there were pictures of him and Mike, and the rest of the guys that I met before. They were playing instruments on a stage and Chester was the lead singer. I took that picture in one hand and watched his beautiful features closely. Even when he was younger he had those dark doe-eyes that I love so much. And there was something else there: life. Not the darkness that I see when he's sad or depressed. Not the darkness I see when he is trying to push me away or when he talks about his past. In that picture was a kid, a happy and healthy kid that was enjoying his life as a singer in a band. He had friends. Family. He had a place in this world.

As he turned each page, a part of my heart breaks even more. 

There was a piece of paper from some kind of newspaper. The title said it all:

_14 year old kills herself during a party at her house. The police are still investigating the reasons for the incident, but everything points to heartbreaking._

Even the media was spreading bullshit about him. I can't imagine what Chester went through. 

There was also Mia's picture in there. And Chester was right: she was beautiful. Like a doll. Her curly hair, her rosy cheeks, her brown glistering eyes - a perfect little doll that would certainly grow up to be a heartbreaking gorgeous woman if life hadn't been so mean to her.

Chester held her picture in the hand for some time.

"I haven't touched this album since I moved here," he admitted. "I haven't seen her picture in three years."

"She was beautiful," I whispered.

"Yeah..." he muttered, putting the picture back to its place. 

He turned the next page, and the next, and the next.

Everything started getting depressed. His confessions texts were written with such sorrow and grief that I couldn't hold my tears. It was like I was feeling everything that was written.

One of the pages had a cannabis leaf. The other had pictures of himself with a cup of Whiskey on his hand. A label of Jack Daniels was there too. And his eyes in those pictures were just... unreal. Red and Yellow, puffy, drugged.

Then, there were pictures of himself and different women. They posed for the photos with intoxicated smiles on their lips. Fake smiles even. Lustful smiles.

"When... when I ran away from my parents' house, I made some _friends _in the street... They took me in, gave me shelter and food, and in exchange... I... I had to work for them. I sold drugs in the street or in bars. That's when I had a taste of drugs... I mean -- I had tried pot before, but when they took me in, I tried heavier stuff, like cocaine, heroin, ecstasy... You name it..."

I furrowed my brows at the pictures.

"And these women?"

"Whores... I -- I stopped feeling anything when I started taking drugs. Nothing. No sadness, no sorrow, no rage. No love. No pity. And I thought that maybe... maybe I could start feeling things with another person's body. So, I... I fucked woman after woman, trying to find something that made me feel human again."

I gulped. My brain was pulsating inside of my head. My heart was pounding inside my chest. Not even Mia's death shocked me as much as this did. Of course, her death was worse, but it wasn't Chester's doings. But he fucked all these girls, consumed all these drugs because he wanted to feel something again.

Imagining the younger Chester at that time was bothering me to levels that I didn't even know it was possible.

Chester noticed how I closed my eyes at every picture, inhaling deeply and exhaling all the air. He noticed how my hands were shaking. He didn't blame me though. If it was the other way around, he'd be throwing up at the thought of having so many men touching me. 

"Ana... I'm sorry... I told you that I wanted to share everything and I don't want to keep anything hidden. I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. But you need to know everything... I used those women... I am not proud. Not one bit. And I regret that. I regret that so much..." He turned the pages, and more women appeared. I was in shock, I guess. "You don't need to worry about anything... I mean, I used protection and when I left that life, many years ago, I made several check-ups and I'm clean. I don't have any STDs -- I'll find the tests, they are here somewhere..." He got up from his seat and started looking for papers in his drawers. "I can do them again if you prefer... I --"

"That's not what bothers me. I know you would never do anything with me if you had any contagious disease."

Chester stopped looking for the papers and turned to me, with his heart beating faster. If that didn't worry me, what was it then? The fact that he had so many women before? He didn't love any of them. He never loved anyone before. He regrets those years so badly. God, why did he had to give in? And why the hell would he tell me everything about it? Couldn't he just say that he had women before? Did he really have to show me those awful pictures? 

What was I thinking about now? Probably I was thinking of a way to tell him to fuck off, or maybe I was disgusted by him. 

He would be.

Well, he is.

"I'm worried about the fact that you were so lost..." I gulped, trying to find the words. "Sure, it bothers me deeply imagining you with all these women, but... God... why didn't anyone help you back then? What's wrong with people?"

The tears just kept dropping, strolling down my cheeks and falling right on top of the last picture of his journal.

Chester approached me and kneeled on the floor, in front of me.

"Between my 16 and 21, I hit rock bottom. There was nothing that could be done."

"Bullshit! What about your friends? The ones you introduced me to? Couldn't they help you back then?"

"I didn't let them. I ran from them too," I nodded my head, acknowledging the fact that he acts that way with me since the beginning. He continued: "We were best friends. Mike was the coolest... He was smart, dedicated, studious and he was too wise for his age. There was only one flaw: he loved pot. But he never got himself in any fight or something. His parties were always nice, and calm, rarely there was a problem. And that's why I liked him so much. Besides, he was the one that helped me when my parents were getting a divorce. I slept so many times in his house whenever my mother showed up in my dad's house so that he would sign the papers. And the best part was that in his house, things were equally bad. His parents were at the brink of divorce before Mia's death, but he still took me in without thinking twice."

I took a moment to process everything he told me.

Chester grabbed my hands and made me look at him.

"There's a long way to go for me, Ana. I'll never be 100%. This is not something that I can simply erase."

"I know," I whispered. "I know and I understand. But... God... Why didn't I meet you before? I could have helped you."

Chester smiled between the tears blurring his vision and wiped my tears away.

"I think you showed up in my life when you had to," he whispered. "And I wouldn't change a thing. Everything I did, everything I've been through, led me here: to you. This is where I start living."

I slid down from the couch, sitting on his lap on the floor, burring my face on the crook of his neck.

"I love you, Chester."

"I love you too, my princess... I love you too," he muttered, trying to conceal his sobs.

I pulled away and looked at his puffy eyes.

"Is there anything else that I need to know?"

Chester narrowed his eyes for a moment and then opened them fully like he remembered something. For a moment, he hesitated but when he saw my expectant eyes shining at him, waiting for him to spit out all the truth he couldn't hide anything else from me.

"Please, tell me, Chester," I begged in a low whisper.

"I -- " he gently pushed me out of his lap and held a hand for me to get up with him and follow him. "Please don't be mad at me, and please don't ask me to get rid of what I am about to show you because I won't."

He walked to his room and kneeled in front of drawers, opening the last drawer. All I saw were his clothes before he searched for something. A small box that he took in his hands. He opened the box and showed me the content.

_A gun._

I gasped and covered my mouth, taking a step back.

"I kept it after Mike showed up here and you fought him. It's just in case something happens... In case he decides to hurt me, or worse, hurt you." He closed the box and put it back under his clothes. "I can't let him hurt you... Never."

"I -- I don't like the idea, Chester," I said, feeling completely repulsed by guns like I have been all my life.

"Me neither," he got up from the floor and took my face in his hands. "But I rather have a way to protect you from him."

"You don't need to..." I whispered.

"I know, but I feel better if I can," he replied.

A smiled crept to my lips and Chester furrowed his brows, confused by why my expression changed so quickly.

"Well," I said, unbuttoning his shirt. "I know other ways to make you feel better."


	32. Desires

"I see your weekend was good," Janice said as soon as I walked into the store. "You're beaming."

"I visited my parents last weekend, with Chester," I smiled with my cheeks reddening.

"Yes, Alice told me. She's sad that she wasn't there. But you know how she is, always traveling."

"I didn't know she traveled, my mother told me when I was home. She's a free spirit, isn't she?" 

Janice chuckled and resumed her work, occasionally talking to me about the weekend. I ended up telling her that Chester and I finally know where we're going and we shared our feelings for each other during the weekend. I could tell she was truly happy for me, and I couldn't help but feel moved by her behavior. She stopped working to give me a hug and a pat on my back. Then she talked about her relationship with her husband when they were just a couple of lovers before marrying each other. You can see the light in her eyes when she speaks about him, the love she still feels for him, even after death.

When I was on my computer, exchanging emails with the university, I heard the bell on the entrance, meaning that a new customer arrived.

I heard Janice laughing. The shy laugh that she does like when Chester holds her hand and kisses her knuckles.

When I heard a laugh from another person, I smiled, that laugh was getting too familiar. I walked out of the backroom and just watched Chester and Janice talking, both of them chuckling. They were almost whispering as if they didn't want anyone to hear them.

Chester's eyes left Janice and landed on me. His smile grew wider.

"Hey," he said.

I walked closer to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You're here," I said, stating the obvious.

"I'm gonna take you out to have lunch," he said, exchanging a strange look with Janice.

"Uh - alright..." I said, narrowing my eyes at them.

"Well, darling, given that the weekend was so good, why don't you take the rest of the evening and spend time with your boyfriend? I'm sure you have a lot to talk about," Janice said.

I looked at her with a lifted brow. I knew she was up to something. Or him. 

"Ok..." I said. "Just let me grab my things."

I went back to the backroom and gathered my belongings, immediately showing up by Chester's side.

"Let's go?" He said, holding an arm for me.

Saying my goodbyes to Janice, I walked away with my boyfriend, arms intertwined. Chester remained quiet for a while, his expression was blank but I could discern that he was lost in his thoughts. He had this small curl on one side of his lips and his eyes slightly narrowed, which he usually does when he is in deep contemplation. Whatever he was thinking about, I didn't know, and sometimes I think I wouldn't like to know.

I looked at him by the corner of my eyes, admiring how gorgeous he is, especially when he is not even trying. Especially when he is focused on something else.

Chester felt that I was staring for so long and looked down at me, beaming when he noticed the awe expression I had plastered all over my face. Blushing just a little, I tilted my head against his shoulder for a while, feeling like nothing was going to tear us apart. 

I wanted more moments like that.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked all of a sudden, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"You. And me. Us?" 

Chester raised a brow, his smile fading away slowly.

"Should I be worried?"

I nodded my head, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Not at all," I answered him. "Where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise," he stated with a smirk in his face.

It only ignited my curiosity, even more, when he took me to his car and drove in silence for half an hour. I glanced at him very often and noticed how carefree he was, his head leaning against his seat, his hands on the lowest part of the steering wheel, his arms resting on his lap and he was moving his fingers at the sound of the music on the radio.

Closing my eyes, I let the moment sink in, listened to the music, some kind of old 80's rock song that I didn't even recognize. The vibrations of the car on the roads felt like I was a baby being rocked to sleep and it worked wonders. My head tilted to the side, resting against the window and I slowly drifted away.

After a while, Chester looked to the side and realized that I had fallen asleep. A soft smile lightened up his face and he turned the music down, driving for one more hour.

When the car came to a stop, I didn't wake up. Chester turned it off and caressed my face with his hand. His slightly cold hand made me stir but I didn't wake up just yet. Chester chuckled as I muttered something under my breath but he didn't give up. He approached his body and pressed his lips against my cheeks.

"Sleepyhead, come on. We're here," he said with his sultry voice that woke me up with a shiver.

I opened my eyes at him and blinked, still gathering my senses.

I turned my head to see where the hell we were and furrowed my brows. We were just outside a huge artificial lake.

"Come on, we have a reservation for lunch," Chester said, unfastening my seat belt.

"What --?" I asked confused. 

"Come on, I'm starving, baby," he said, leaving the car.

I followed him quickly. There was a small restaurant just outside the lake, with a beautiful view. I've never seen this before, but there as a knot on my throat as we walked to that place. I was nervous for some reason that I am not even aware of. These are those kinds of places that you take someone to ask them to marry you. Obviously, he wasn't even thinking about that, first because we are only dating for a couple of months and, second, because he still has a lot to deal with before deciding to start a life with someone else. Of course, there's the fact that he already knew my family, and I already know his sister. In fact, we are turning into great friends, which confused Chester a lot. He states that she's a _pain in the ass_, even though he says it with a gleam of proud in his eyes. However, there's no way he was going to propose at a time like this, but I was nervous anyway. Probably because Chester and I have been closer and more intimate as time goes by and my worst nightmare is to wake up one morning and not having him there with me.

I decided to punch myself in my mind just by thinking about these kinds of stuff. It's stupid. He was just being romantic and should enjoy and cherish every moment I spend with that man.

"I have to confess," he said when we were already sitting at our table, near the window. "I have been talking to Janice behind your back. I asked her to give you the rest of the day off. I wanted to bring you here."

"You've been plotting behind my back?" I feigned shock. "Why?"

"I don't know. I think I wanted to show you how grateful I am for having you," he blushed a little, looking down to fidget his fingers. "I still can't believe that you stayed by my side even after knowing all that shit..."

"How could I not?" I asked, stroking his hand over the table. "You're the best person I have ever met. You're so good, so caring, respectful, and I just didn't accept the fact that you were so alone, so sad... For some reason, I felt like I was meant to be there with you."

"Never in my years of existence, I thought that would ever be so happy like I am. I mean -- I know that I have a long way to go... I'm not ok and... I still struggle, you know? But, when I'm with you... I feel like myself again."

"I'm glad to hear that, but, Chester, you could have done this without me. It's in your hands to get better," I stated, making him furrow his brows in confusion. "You are strong, even if you think you're not. You endured this all by yourself, not everyone is capable of doing it. You've been through a lot, yet, here you are. A music professor, doing what you love. You have an apartment of your own, you have amazing friends... I mean, you just need to see that for yourself. You need to acknowledge the fact that you haven't given up and that means you're stronger than you thought."

"I may have all of that, but you're the best part of it," he said, smiling shyly. "I love you, Ana. Very much."

"I love you, baby."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you, but when you moved to the apartment next door, I knew you were different... I don't know. I'd never talk to you, otherwise. You inspire me so many good feelings, like... I don't know, I just know that I want to get better, to be better - for you."

All I was able to do was smile at him. Smile because if one single word came out of my mouth, I'd burst out in tears for how beautifully he opened his heart for me. And I just smiled because whenever I'm with him, that is all that I want to do.

"I need to make a plan or something. Like -- uhm, objectives for my life. Get my shit together, get my mental health improved, anything." He stopped for a while, pondering before he spoke again. "I think... I think I'm going to get rid of that journal that I've kept."

"Chester... Are you sure? That journal holds..."

"Memories... feelings... I know. And I don't ever, ever, want to feel like that again," he nodded his head several times. "Never. So I will burn it because it holds painful memories for me that I'm done with because they held me back for many years, and because I saw the pain in your eyes when you saw it. I can't have you looking at me like that ever again."

"Aw, baby... Come here," I pulled him to me, making him lean over the table to kiss him. I just needed to feel him like that, it was something that I couldn't explain. "I'll be here, no matter what you decide, ok? Take your time."

He nodded his head and smiled, his thumb reaching for my cheek to wipe a single tear away.

When we finished our food, he had another thing planned: a little boat trip through the lake. It was a small boat and Chester had to row it effortlessly. We had casual conversations during that trip, which turned out to be one of the best moments I had with Chester. I noticed how there was no trace of his depression during that time. His usual downhearted face was gleaming and his smile was present all the time.

"So, are you nervous about the ceremony?" I asked him. Chester stopped the boat and we just stood there, sitting face to face to each other, feeling the sun slightly burning our skins. 

"Kinda. This one it's going to be special," he said in a playful tone.

"Yeah? Why is that?"

"You are going to be there." He admitted, a sweet smile illuminating his beautiful face. "And I'm going to do something that I don't usually do. You're going to have to wait to see."

I pouted, even though I was smiling.

"I can't wait to hear your students. I need to see if you're the good professor I think you are."

"I don't think if I'm that good, but I do love it," he said, continuing to row the boat.

"I'm sure you are. Maybe you can introduce me to some of my future professors, it should be interesting," I said, feeling a twist in my stomach. I still can't believe that I was going to study what I always wanted. Part of me was truly excited, the other part was not certain of how well I'm gonna do. I mean, read the books and liking that area is not the same as being good at it. And I truly want to help people get better. I just hope that I also have the talent to so ao.

Chester talked about our weekend, how well he was received by my parents. He was truly happy about that conversation he had with my mother, knowing that she was going to stop to be _bitchy _about our relationship. I know she looks like a harsh woman, always complaining about how she wants the best for me, being the best for me to belong to her world. But I know that deep down she is proud that I am going after what I truly want and what makes me happy. She has an odd way of showing it, but I know her and I know that she supports me now.

I didn't particularly enjoy the way she mistreated Chester at first. I wondered what she would have thought if she knew that the things she hated the most in him were the things that attracted me the most: his tattoos, his piercings, his way of dressing, the calm and quiet posture he has towards other people. 

"You became so quiet, suddenly," Chester said by my side. During the time I was silent, thinking with my own buttons, he moved closer to me and I didn't even notice him moving.

I turned my head to him, bedazzled by his closeness. My eyes fell on his lips and I couldn't fight the urge to kiss them. My body grew warmer just by being by his side and I needed to put out that fire. His lips are always the best way to do it, and that surprised him, melting away instantly when I deepened the kiss.

His hands cupped my cheeks gently tilting his head to the side to allow his tongue to explore more parts of my mouth. Our breathing became a little uneven due to that intense moment. Both of us felt the need to have more, but the time and place were not right.

When we pulled away, I had my head spinning a little and smiled, embarrassed.

"Maybe we should go back home," Chester whispered, his eyes lustful dark. He tried to calm down his horny side, but it was impossible for him. All it takes are my lips, a look or even a smile and he was done, he was on his knees for me. 

"Yeah, we should," I said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. 

After kissing my forehead, he returned to his place, turned the boat around and got back to the car. The trip back home was long but less silent than when we came. I think we both needed to cool it down a little, after having that sweet taste of him at my parent's house, we couldn't help but give in to those desires every time we're together. We had sex again in my parents' house, right before returning to Phoenix, when we took a shower before leaving; we did it when we got back home, after that hard conversation about his past. We did it again in the morning since I slept in his house. And at that moment, if we weren't in such a public space, I think we'd do it again.

He parked his car outside our building and we both walked home intertwined in each other's arms. We usually chose the stairs, but this time Chester called for the elevator and while we waited, he turned to me. I furrowed my brows at his odd expression, but he didn't give me much time to ask anything, he had my cheeks cupped and his lips pressed against mine. His tongue didn't even ask for permission, it just explored all the points in my mouth that made me moan unintentionally.

When the elevator was ready for us, he didn't break the kiss. He opened the door and pulled me inside with him, pressing the first-floor button and pulling me against the wall. One of his hands left my cheek and went down through my chest, squeezing my breast, continuing his way down. Then, he went for his pants and I gasped, thinking that he was insane and was unbuttoning his pants in that elevator. But then, I heard his keys and the elevator's doors opening for us, revealing the cold corridor. 

Chester pulled me by my wrist with him, rushing to open his apartment's door. As soon as he was able to open it, he pulled me inside with him, kissing me immediately against the now-closed door.

It wasn't something passionate and slow like the last times we did it. This one was wilder, more aggressive. He had me undressed right there at his entrance and had me pinned against the wall, where he pounded into me like there was no tomorrow. It was one of those moments when you can't contain your urges anymore. He just had to have me right there, otherwise, he was going to explode.

"_Fuck_," I breathed out as he fucked me relentlessly and with no mercy. He was quick and firm with his movements, his hands were gripping my hips, and his head was leaning against my bare chest, where he kept his eyes closed while both of us panted and moaned through our orgasms. None of us endured for too long, but we didn't need more time, we needed to take down those burning desires at that moment.

"I'm sorry," he muttered under his breath. "I - I just..."

I furrowed my brows at him, looking down at the wonderful man with his head buried in my chest. He was trying to get control of his breathing, but he was such in a pure state of ecstasy that he couldn't even stay on his feet. 

"Sorry? Why?"

"I -- I just couldn't help it... I had to have you."

"And you're sorry for what? Giving me what I wanted?" I smiled down at him and for the first time he looked up, a confused expression on his eyes.

"You liked it?" He whispered, with his husky voice sending shivers down my spine.

"Did you hear me complaining?" I asked in a playful manner. 

Chester ended up smiling and carrying me to the bathroom to have us both cleaned up. The day wasn't near its end and after the delicious dinner we both cooked, we ended up, once again, naked in bed.


	33. Professor

The rest of the week was dreadful. Chester and I had a lot of workload because of the university ceremony the next weekend. We barely saw each other during that week and when we did, we were so tired that we basically fell asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillow.

When I woke up alone in bed in the early hour of Saturday morning, I groaned in frustration. I was getting used to sharing my bed with Chester and when he's not there, I feel incomplete, alone, cold even. The only thing that got me out of bed that day was the fact that my work was done, Chester's work was done and that day was the ceremony. It would start around 6 P.M. and I just needed to go there during the morning to make sure everything was properly finished.

I jumped out of bed, dressed up in the first set of clothes that I could find, grabbed something to eat on my way to the university. If I was lucky enough I would be able to see my gorgeous boyfriend.

First things first: the entrance of the university was meticulously cleaned and there was a red carpet on the floor, all the way to the auditorium where the ceremony would be held. White roses were spread through several vases along the way, combined with artificial glittery golden flowers to give it a fancy look. On the door, there were two vintage columns on each side of the main door with similar ornaments and flowers. Basically all the flower arrangements were white and golden, just as the university requested. We added a little touch here and there, which was very well accepted by the people coordinating the ceremony.

On my way to the auditorium, there were still people fixing stuff, but the flowers were in their proper places. I noticed a white piano on the side of the stage and furrowed my brows. I had access to all the plans for the party and I could swear that no piano was there. Shrugging, I walked through the staff and asked if there was anything else I could do for them. Last night, I already overstayed because I offered my help because I really wanted everything to go according to what was planned. If it does, mine and Janice's name would be highly spoken, which is good for her business.

For a couple of hours, I helped the staff preparing whatever was out of place and even helped make the final cleaning to the whole place. 

"Ana?" I heard a familiar voice. I turned around and smiled at Patrick, the headmaster. "Aren't you supposed to be getting ready? Spend hours in a saloon, like women usually do?"

I laughed at his statement.

"I am not that kind of woman," I confessed. "Saloons are really not my thing."

"Oh, I wish my wife could say the same," he chuckled. "Isn't your work done already?"

"Yeah, yeah," I said, cleaning the stairs to the front stage. "I just volunteered to give a hand to the staff."

"We don't pay extra hours," he laughed and I smiled at him. "Have you seen Chester already?"

"No, I've been here the whole morning. Isn't he rehearsing"?

"He is. Do you want to see him before the show?"

I nodded my head.

"I'd love to, but I know he is nervous. He needs to stay focused," I said, finishing my work.

"Well, then, you should get something to eat and get ready. The next hours will fly away."

Without any more conversations, I said goodbye and walked out of the university, back home. I grabbed some food on my way and got into the shower. When I dried my hair, I used my curling iron to make curls and pinned them up to let them cool down and set while I put on makeup. I used a bright silver eyeshadow to match my accessories and a thin black line on my eyes. I couldn't go out with putting on some mascara, concealer, and blush. I'm no expert, and it did take me a while to put everything together, but once I was finished, I was satisfied with the outcome.

My phone rang when I was massaging my legs with good-smelling fruity cream. It has tiny golden glitters that give that makes the skin glow like those celebrities on the red carpet use. I picked up the phone and it was a text message from Chester.

Chester: _Can't wait to have this all finished to spend more time with you. I hope you like the party today, and I hope you like the surprise I have for you._

Me: _You're making me too curious about it. Can't you at least give me something that might tell me what you're up to?_

Chester: _No. You'll have to wait to see. I'll meet you there. _

I nibbled my lower lip, speculating about what the hell was he plotting on doing that day. When I looked at the clock, I still had one hour before the ceremony, so I still had time to sit on the couch and read a little. But it wasn't working for me. I was so curious about that _surprise_ Chester had for me that I was actually biting my nails. I cursed myself because they were so perfectly done and I would ruin them.

Walking back to my room, I decided to get ready for good. I stepped into my dress, but there was something that I didn't like when I looked at myself in the mirror. I thought about it for a second and came to a resolution. Not the best one, but it solved the _problem_. I really hoped that Chester liked that dress. Not the kind of dress I'd normally wear, but it's for him, so, I had to wear it proudly.

The next thing I did was releasing the curls from the bobby pins. Carefully, I let the curls down, spraying them with a lot of hairspray to help them stay in place even longer. I brushed the front part against the root to give it more volume and sprayed it to the side to mimic those vintage-Hollywood curly hairstyles.

After putting my perfume and grabbing my small silver clutch, I went back to my car and drove slowly to the university.

There were a lot of people already. I was fifteen minutes earlier, but I noticed I wasn't the only one.

As I walked to the entrance, I noticed some faces turning to me and trying to figure out who the hell I was. Ignoring those glances, I walked to the auditorium, hoping to find someone familiar. _Anyone_. 

Patrick noticed me all by myself, looking around a little lost and he walked over me with his wife.

"Lydia, this is the woman I talked to you about, Ana. Chester's girlfriend. Ana, this is my wife, Lydia."

I greeted the lady with two kisses in her cheek and a smile on my lips.

"I heard good things about you from my husband and your boyfriend. Good things only, they have greats expectations for you and, I must tell you, when they have such expectations they are rarely wrong."

"That's nice of you," I said, blushing lightly.

"Do you need us to show you your seat? I'm sure Chester will be here soon enough," Patrick said.

I kindly accepted his offer and walked with him and his wife to the second row of seats. Chester's name was written on two seats.

"I must leave you now. I hope you enjoy the show," he said.

"Thank you," I replied, sitting comfortably on my seat.

As people passed by and politely greeted me, I showed a smile that didn't reach my eyes. It was a little uncomfortable to be among so many unknown well-dressed people. I wished for Chester to show up, but he was nowhere to be seen.

The room was getting more and more filled with people, even in the seats by my side. Several people smiled at me when they saw me sitting on Chester's reserved seats and I smiled back, having no idea why the hell they were beaming.

My attention was suddenly caught when my eyes glanced at the most gorgeous man in the world, in a tight red-wine suit, that made his ass pop-out magnificently. He was talking to someone, giving indications in a hurried manner, completely focused on whatever he was saying.

His eyes glanced by themselves at the seat he reserved for me and looked away again, only to look back at me with a melted expression. I smiled at him, feeling my cheeks burn with his stare. He turned his head to the man he was talking to and started walking in my direction when he was done.

Sitting by my side his eyes looked up and down and a sweet smile appeared on his face. _God, he's so beautiful_. I love it when his eyes shine whenever he's happy -- his whole face glows.

"I'm out of words," he whispered in my ear, "You look absolutely stunning. I almost forgot what I was saying when I saw you."

I giggled softly, looking down.

"You look beautiful, baby," he said, grabbing my hand and kissing my knuckles.

"You cleaned up very well too," I said, my eyes traveling his body up and down.

When he opened his mouth to speak, someone spoke on the microphone. The ceremony was about to start. We held hands for the whole time. They made a video that had images of the university since the very beginning when it was all bricks and cement. It showed the evolution of the institution, the departments that were founded and after a few minutes, pictures of the teachers appeared, including Chester's. He was holding a bass on his lap, talking to his students.

I glanced at him and noticed how he was not paying attention to the stage. He was staring at me.

"What?" I mouthed.

He shrugged and smiled weakly, not answering the question. 

One hour we've been there, watching and hearing teachers and students that had speeches or presentations. Some were boring, most of them actually, others were funny, which made me wake up from my daydreaming, but when the music department was called on stage, I held my breathing.

Chester kissed my cheek and walked to the stage.

"Someone once said," he started speaking. "words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. And a song makes you feel a thought. I don't have much to tell you about our work in the music department, because what a better way to tell you than sing it for you?"

His students were already ready behind the curtains that opened. They were organized in a stair structure, like a choir. What they did, was absolutely bedazzling. They sang and played songs from the origins of music to the present time. You had classical music, rock, opera, and many, many other genres, carefully mixed into a heartwarming medley.

I don't even know how they know such old songs, I don't even know how they were able to make the songs sound so good next to another, it was like was only one song. A very, very long song.

My eyes didn't leave Chester, though. He was on one side of the stage, watching proudly his students perfectly showing what they were taught. He was like a father watching his child speak for the first time or something.

When they were finished, everyone clapped for them as hard as they could, including me.

"Now, I ask all the professors to come up on stage to sign the university's anthem," he said.

A lot of people raised from their seats to walk to the stage. Most of them were sitting on our row, which explains why they looked at me when they reached for their places. They didn't know me, so when they noticed Chester's name on my seat, they presumed I was his girlfriend. They were also impressed because they never saw him with any woman, some even thought he was gay.

The professors were harder to organize, they had less time to rehearse their entry, so they were a mess. But that's something I usually see, students normally organize themselves better. Some laughs were heard through the auditorium, but soon after the music was on and they started singing, not perfectly as the students did before, but well, considering the situation.

Chester gave his microphone to Patrick, receiving a pat on his back.

"I want to thank you for your presence. This ceremony is not only to celebrate our 100 years of history but also the present and the future of this institution. Students, professors, staff, we all are important and we all have our own page in this history. Each of us had difficulties, happy moments, memories that should be preserved. My only wish is that we continue to make new and happier memories, to prosper in each dream and objective for our professional and personal lives. A clap of hands for all of us that are here making history, once again."

The room erupted to a noisy clapping of hands and whistles and screams, celebrating the headmaster's words.

When the people in that auditorium calmed down, Patrick brought the mic to his lips again.

"Now, to finish this part of the ceremony, and before we all go to the best part (food and drinks)," some people clapped and screamed, making Patrick laugh. "Yes, yes, we're all starving. Before we move on with this ceremony, Chester prepared something special tonight. He wrote a song. And I must tell you, it is beautiful. So, I'll just leave the stage for him, and I can only wish you a good night. Congratulations!"

Chester moved to the piano (now I know why it's there) and took his seat. Patrick left the stage with the rest of his colleagues, leaving my boyfriend alone.

When the professors took their seats and the room became quiet, Chester took a deep breath and started playing the piano. A beautiful melody that I never heard him playing filled the room, and when I noticed that he was getting ready to enter the song and sing it I stop breathing for a second. He stopped singing years ago, after what happened, especially in front of a crowd. A new feeling of hope ran through my body, acknowledging that he was indeed getting better, coming out of his depression.

A tear strolled down my face as I heard him singing:

_When you feel you're alone_  
Cut off from this cruel world  
Your instincts telling you to run

_Listen to your heart  
Those angel voices  
They'll sing to you,_ _ they'll be your guide back home_

_When life leaves us blind_  
Love keeps us kind  
It keeps us kind

_When you've suffered enough_  
And your spirit is breaking  
You're growing desperate from the fight

_Remember you're loved and you always will be  
This melody will bring you right back home_

_When life leaves us blind_  
Love keeps us kind  
When life leaves us blind  
Love keeps us kind  
It keeps us kind

I had to slap myself mentally to stop me from ruining my makeup, but the truth is that I was proud of that man on stage. A man that barely had any human interaction and now writes and sings personals songs in front of a crowd. The way he closed his eyes during the song, feeling every note coming out of his finger and the sound coming out of his angelic voice. When he had to sing the higher and stronger notes, there was this vein popping out of his neck and he furrowed his brows. But when he finished the song, his eyes opened immediately, searching for me.

I raised from my chair like everyone else in the room to clap for Chester. The whole crowd was on fire, whistling and cherishing Chester as he came down of the stage. He had to stop to greet several people that approached him, but his intention was clear in his eyes. He wanted to walk back to me.

I smiled as he finally was able to get to me. The rest of the people started walking away to the tables where the food and the drinks were served, so it was practically just Chester and me in that part of the auditorium.

"You are amazing, you know that?" I said, pulling him to a hug.

"I don't know if you could understand, but I wrote it for you," he muttered in my ear. "I couldn't do it without you, Ana."

"Yes, you could. You have it in yourself, I already told you that," I pulled away from the hug to look him in the eyes, my hands cupping his cheeks. "You are so much more than what you see."

Chester's eyes were glossy, teary, but he smiled nonetheless. He looked down at my lips, inhaling deeply when he leaned in to kiss me. 

"Professor Bennington?" I heard a girl calling.

Chester sighed quietly and turned to the girl.

"Cindy, hi," he said.

"The students want to talk to you before going to stuff their mouths with food. Do you have a minute?"

"Uh -- sure," Chester turned to me. "Do you mind? I'll meet you there."

"Sure, go," I replied, watching as he disappeared with the girl and several other students followed him.

I turned around and walked away. My stomach was growling, I was starving, so whatever food they had would be god-sent. The truth was that it was truly divine. The tables were filled with all the types of foods and snacks, there was a man serving the drinks in an improvised bar and some people were serving glasses of champagne in a tray.

When one of the waiters passed by me and offered me a glass, I couldn't help but take one for me, thanking him. Then, I attacked the food, going first for the patties and the codfish cakes. They reminded me of my Nanna's. She used to help the cooker in the kitchen when she had free time, and I simply adored how they tasted.

"Miss Clemonte?" I heard someone calling for me, snapping me away from my thoughts. I turned around with my brows furrowed, not knowing who the hell would know me by that name. An older man with a grey suit was by my side, holding his hand in the air for me.

I grabbed his hand and shook it. He took a moment to kiss my knuckles politely and smiled.

"I recognize you because I am a great friend of your father. We used to play golf a few years ago," he said.

"Oh -- Mr. Monforte, I presume."

"Exactly, I see you remember me, Miss Clemente."

"It's Ana," I smiled.

"Ana. Your father is a great man, good people the Clemonte." He said and I thanked him for his kindness. "May I ask why you are here tonight?"

"I'm here with my boyfriend -- uh -- Chester Bennington? He is one of the music teachers," I said, my eyes quickly scanning the room for him. I didn't find him where he was just a few moments ago and narrowed my eyes.

"Yes! I know him. He is just a good man! You are lucky, Ana."

"Yes, I am," I smiled widely when I noticed Chester approaching us, greeting Mr. Monforte and walking to my side.

Mr. Monforte placed his hand on Chester's shoulders and gave him a pat.

"You take good care of this girl. I know her father and I used to spend time at their house a few years ago. They would throw the most amazing parties! I remembered that everyone was obsessed with Ana Clemonte. The untouchable and untamed Ana Clemonte," he said, finishing his words with a chuckle.

"Who'd say that about me?" I asked with my mouth opened.

"Everyone. Everyone who'd go to those parties admired you for not being tricked and seduced by that corrupt world."

I mouth an Oh and Mr. Monforte smiled, saying goodbye before moving on to another group of people to talk with. When I turned to Chester I furrowed my brows. Chester's smiley face was suddenly so pale and his expression was of pure rage, as he was chewing the inside of his cheek, making his cheekbone pop out a little.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

He looked at me but his expression didn't change.

"I can't leave you alone for one fucking minute that the wolves attack. I've seen several men, and strangely, women too, looking at you from head to toe with hungry eyes. I can't blame them, though." His eyes wandered down to my cleavage and up to my eyes again. "That dress is driving me insane."

He turned around to greet people that passed by him.

****"Imagine if you knew that I ain't wearing any underwear," I whispered lowly so that he was the only one that could hear me.

"What?" He immediately turned his head at me.

"What??? I can't have anything under this dress, it was completely noticeable through the fabric."

"You're kidding me right?" He said, his body practically towering me, glued to mine as if he was protecting me from others but trying to intimidate me.

"No, why?" I asked innocently.

"You're not wearing any underwear?" I nodded and his eyes became darker. "You're completely naked under that dress?" He asked again, just to make sure, and I nodded again. He smoothly raised his hand to his mouth and bit his knuckles, cursing under his breath. "You --"

"Chester, I'd like to introduce you to some people," I heard Patrick's voice from behind me.

Chester looked at me before smiling politely at the headmaster and the people he brought to him. They were important people, something related to record labels and other companies related to music. They were there to say how impressed they were with his show, especially when he himself was playing the piano. I understand them, though, it was absolutely beautiful. I don't know if I feel stunned by his performance or that tight suit.

I slapped myself mentally, shaking those thoughts away.

We stood there talking for a while. Eventually, I was introduced as his girlfriend and was brought to the conversation. Chester occasionally stared at me whenever I talked, for a moment I thought that he was drifting away, lost in his own world, but at the last moment he was snapped back to reality.

"We should go talk to some friends over there," one of the men said. "It was nice to meet you Miss Clemonte."

He held a hand in the hair for me and I grabbed. Once again my knuckles were kissed by a stranger that maintained intense and awkward eye contact with me. I was really getting uncomfortable with all that fake politeness that I was so used to when I lived with my parents and had to spend time in their world.

"Have a nice evening," I simply said, slightly bowing my head.

I watched as the men disappeared and started other conversations in a group of people. When I was about to speak to Chester, I gasped. He had his hand around my arm, pulling me through the crowd.

"What are you doing?" I asked taken aback.

Chester looked at me with a serious expression and I noticed how dark were his eyes. His nostrils were moving as he panted slightly and he looked forward, not being able to look at me for too long without losing control right there.

"I can't wait anymore," he grumbled, leaving me all confused.

I tried to get rid of his grasp, but he tightened his hand, pulling me to an elevator. He pushed the second-floor button and stared at me. That elevator was suddenly so small and tight, that it was getting too hard to breathe. He took a step towards me and I took a step back, immediately feeling the cold wall behind my exposed back. He took another step to me and his body towered mine.

My eyes never once left his.

Chester didn't speak, which was making the air thicker, increasing the tension inside those 4 walls. Instead, his hand reached for my cleavage, his fingers traced the hem of the v-shape of the dress, just barely grazing my skin. I shivered all the way down to my core, feeling that igniting sensation building.

I breathed out when the elevator made a sound and the doors opened. Chester grabbed my hand, turned around and pulled me behind him.

He went for the pocket on his tight suit pants and I had to bite my lower lips at the sight. His bulge was really prominent. There was no way that you could not see it through that thin fabric of the suit. Finally, he took a key off his pocket and opened a door to an office. Before entering, my eyes scanned the letters on the door and could read _Chester Charles Bennington_.

_His office._

He pushed me inside and locked the door behind him. Then, he turned to me and without changing his expression, he walked to me.

"Chester?" I whimpered, feeling the rushing adrenaline of what was about to happen.

"Yes...?" He whispered with his deep and hoarse voice that made me shiver. His voice was calm, dark and seductive. Like he knew what he wanted and he was going to get it no matter what.

"What are we doing here?"

Chester didn't answer. Instead, he walked to me, making me back away until I hit the desk behind me. The desk was clean, not much was on top of it besides a small can with pens and pencils, some paper and a lamp. the walls were white clean, but he had lots of cabinets, a guitar and a Kalimba on a shelf.

My eyes landed on his shaft and back to his eyes.

He approached me in silence. Then, his hand went for the button behind my neck, loosening my collar. My backless dress was only holding together due to that little button. Without it, it was easy to take it off.

I gasped when I felt it so loose.

"Chester, we're in the university, in your office," I said. "And you're a professor!"

"I don't care. I want you." He pressed his hips against mine, making me feel how hard he was.

I looked down and raised a brow.

"Yes, I am aware of that."

A small grin appeared on his lips.

"That dress..." He started pushing the skirt up slowly. "That dress is driving me insane, you know? And knowing you don't wear anything under it... I just have to check if you're telling the truth."

When the dress was high enough, his hand traveled up my tights, leaving a trail of fire on my skin, wherever he touched me. I shivered but that didn't stop him from getting to my core, touching my already wet folds. As soon as he touched me, he closed his eyes for a moment and a groan escaped his lips.

He opened his eyes at me and his other hand released himself from his own pants. He pulled them down along with his boxers, freeing his throbbing erection. I wanted to grab it, but he was so quick that I tilted my head back once he pulled my hips closer, lifted my dress and penetrated me immediately.

I had to grip the desk as he ravaged me with his hard cock, my head staring at the ceiling. Chester took the opportunity to attack my exposed breasts, sucking and biting my nipples until I moaned loud enough to make a dark grin appear on his lips. He pulled my legs up to his shoulder to have better access and to thrust deeper making me struggle not to moan too loud.

As his thrusts became rougher and more sloppy, I could feel him twitching and hardening inside of me and went he sped up, I could feel that familiar coiling in the pit of my stomach that made my nerves pulse with heat and my toes curl. And when he hit that sweet spot inside, I closed my eyes bite my lips as I reached climax.

As he noticed me struggling not to make a noise, he pulled me into a lustful kiss, shoving his tongue inside of me, as he slowed down the pace of his smacking against mine. He then brought his lips to my neck, trailing his tongue along my skin, soon giving me a hard suck where the dress would cover the hickey, which caused me to twitch a bit more around his cock.

He picked his quick pace again, my walls clenching around him, making him gasp for air with every thrust he made. His thrust became harder and even faster, and I grabbed the back of his neck to kiss him deeply and moaning when he changed the course of his movement, hitting, once again, that particular spot that drives me crazy.

"Come for me, Ana," he groaned, closing his eyes as he felt his balls tightening, and his pleasure growing exponentially. He knew he was close to release, but wanted to do it after I meet mine once again.

He held me close to his shoulders while I bit into his skin, trying to hold my scream as I came around his cock. That feeling of coming undone around him became so pleasureful to the point that he couldn't hold anymore. His mind went blank and he moaned out his orgasm, as he came inside of me.

In that office, only our pants could be heard. No words were spoken for at least three minutes, while he just stared at each other, trying to get air into our lungs, occasionally, planting a kiss on each other's skin. And when we were finally relaxed, Chester looked for some tissue paper to help me clean myself and a devilish smirk appeared on my face.

"What?" I asked with a shy smile on my lips.

"I always wanted to do this ever since you started calling me professor."

I feigned surprise and covered my mouth with my hand.

"That's your kinky?"

"Ever since you came to my life, yes," he looked down, probably feeling himself blushing.

"Well, I must admit this is kinda hot," I said. "I liked it. But I'm the only student you're allowed to do this with, I hope."

Chester rolled his eyes playfully.

"Obviously," he paused. "Besides, I wouldn't want to do this with anybody else but you."

I smiled at him, and cupped his cheeks, planting a tender kiss on his lips.

"Maybe we should get back to the party. Someone might miss you there," I stated, trying to straighten my dress.

"I am not certain of that. I bet you would be the one being missed by all those men out there. They look at you like you're some kind of food."

"Yes, there's a lot of awkward people down there, but I can't take my eyes off you," I approached him and pulled him to me by my waist. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said, kissing me passionately before unlocking his office door to go back to that tiring but beautiful ceremony.

We tried to blend in as if nothing had happened, but my hair as still a little messed up and both our cheeks were flustered. Anywhere that paid attention enough would certainly be aware of why we were so unkempt.


	34. Moving on slowly

Chester has been continuing his sessions with Rene's husband. There were good moments and bad moments, where he spent a good amount of days without returning to his sulking behavior that even left me depressed.

When he is feeling at his best, he is the most caring man that I have ever met. That doesn't mean that he didn't struggle many times or that the dark thoughts he usually had before meeting me didn't try to return and make him feel like shit again, but I noticed how he fought hard and tried to be better -- for me. I've told him every day he was going to be alright and that I was there for him, but that he shouldn't try to mask whenever he is feeling down. Because I'm there for him, either it's for the good of for the bad.

For the next couple of months, we've been spending all the free time we had together. 

We have been sleeping together in my house, or in his house, cooking together, watching movies together, and having sex practically almost every day. It would seem like a fairy tale if Mike wasn't there to taunt us every now and then. It even felt like he was following us. Every time we went out to a bar, he was there. Every time we went to the movies, he was there. Even when we simply walked on the street, we have crossed paths with him several times. Such encounters mainly ended with me shoving him off, threatening to call the police, or just try to get away from him to avoid any more mental damage to Chester.

Besides that, my classes began. Not only I won a scholarship to pay for my tuition, but it also allowed me to pay my other expenses. I didn't leave Janice, though. In my free time, I was there working for her, or at least keep her company.

After the university's anniversary, Chester was invited by several labels to record that song he wrote for me. He refused, saying that he was simply a music teacher. Obviously, I objected, but that's a story for another time. What I mean is that he was getting his life together, knew what he wanted and worked for it.

"Chester, come on, I need _to study_," I scolded him because he did nothing but tease me, bite and kiss my neck since he arrived at my apartment. My exams were almost there, I had 3 different subjects to study for and Chester was making things complicated.

"And I need _you_," he replied, ignoring my begging.

"We had sex this morning!" I protested.

That day I arrived home at 5 P.M. and started studying. I wasn't counting on Chester for dinner since he had one of those boring reunions in the university, so I was planning on ordering a pizza for myself later and study until he arrived home. But he showed up a half-hour after me, and, by what I could perceive, he was _hungry_.

Chester closed the book I was reading and made me put my pen down. I complained, but he interrupted me, by loosening my hair from the bun I had it in and massaging my shoulder.

"You have been studying so hard for the past couple of days. You deserve to get some rest," he said, his velvety voice making me tremble like usually. His hands were working slowly and sensually on my skin, releasing the tension that I've been feeling on my back. A moan escaped my lips. "That's it, baby. Relax."

"Ches -- I can't..." He shushed me by pulling me up from the chair and picking me up the bride-style. "Hey!"

"Let's take a bath," he said as he walked to my bathroom.

"Do I have a saying in this?"

"No," he simply said before putting me back to the floor and taking off my baggy clothes. 

I decided not to protest anymore. Chester was right, I've been studying like a slave for the past two weeks, not even having time for myself. I needed to relax, and Chester was my favorite way to chill out. 

"Ok, only for now. I'll go back to the studies after the shower," I said and a grin automatically appeared on his face. I rolled my eyes. "I almost forgot, tomorrow I'll be home later. I have a meeting with another student to do a project."

Chester waited for the bathtub to be full and undressed too.

"Another student? Who?"

"Just some guy I was partnered with," I said entering the hot water that made me shiver and sitting between Chester's legs.

Chester tensed up a little and I couldn't help but notice. He raised a brow and cleared his throat.

"Some guy? Who?"

I turned around to look at him to check if he was really doing what I thought he was doing.

"Jeff, you haven't met him yet," I said, reading his expression.

He tried to show an impassive face, but he failed because I can simply see through him. He was jealous, scared of this interaction. He had expressed his concerns before about me meeting new people, _new men_, and I am aware of his anxieties. But this was just a school project and he will have to endure these types of works for the next three years.

"Chester, it's just a project."

"I know. I know." He muttered.

I raised a brow at him, waiting for him to talk. He opened his mouth but closed it again, reluctant about what he was truly feeling and if he should share it with me.

"Come on, we talked about this. You need to share your concerns with me, even when you think it's stupid."

"I'm sorry..." he whispered weakly. "I'm just afraid of losing you."

"You shouldn't be afraid, because I'm not going anywhere. Besides... I am using you," I stated, which made his face turning into complete confusion. "I'm sleeping with a professor to make sure my grades are higher."

"I'm not even your professor," he said.

"I know, but I'm willing to try my luck anyway," I grinned, turning my body around to kiss him passionately and finally end the hunger he showed me when he got home that day.

***

Quickly, I completed my first year of university. It required a lot of work, study and many sleepless nights, but I ended up with grades above the average. My family called me when the grades were out, and expressed how proud they were of me. My mother's conversation lasted for almost one hour where she said several times that she loved me and was proud of what I've been achieving by myself. She cried a lot in the middle of the conversation, and I did have a hard time understanding what she was saying but felt my heart warmer by the words she used. 

Chester, on the other hand, wanted to celebrate the ending of my school year by taking me out to have dinner.

"Are you ready?" He said, entering my room.

I was sitting on the edge of my bed, trying to clasp my bracelet. Chester kneeled in front of me, offering to close it around my wrist. "May I?" He helped me but didn't move from the floor. His eyes were locked on mine, a gleam of pride behind them. "You know I love you, right?"

"I know," I said, smiling at the marvelous man knelt on my feet.

Chester gulped and searched for something in his pockets.

"I wanted to wait for dinner to do this, but I just can't wait, baby. I'm so proud of you. I know you are going to be successful, not only while studying but also when you start working in your area." I widened my eyes when I noticed the sight in front of me: him kneeling in front of me, saying those loving words and searching in his pockets. When his hand showed two papers, I breathed out in relief, something that was unnoticeable by him. He handed me those papers and my eyes widened again. "Since you studied so hard, and I know how much you love the sea, I wanted you to relax and enjoy some vacations."

"In the _Bahamas_???" I asked in shock, my eyes staring at the two plane tickets in my hands.

Chester nodded his head and smiled at my reaction.

"Yes, did you like it?" I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him to a tight hug that made him chuckle."If the plane tickets made you this happy, wait to see the fucking hotel room I booked!!!"

"Oh my God, Chester, I loved this. Thank you," I planted several kisses all over his face, showing him how happy I truly was.

"I love you, princess. But we should leave, we're getting late for dinner."

I followed him to the car, silently observing the view. He took me to the middle of nothing, to some weird restaurant at the top of the hill. There was nothing else there besides the building of the restaurant, a parking lot and an amazing view over the city. He took me to a similar place when we started dating, but this one had a wider landscape.

My eyes were glued to the beautiful view, and I was lost in my thoughts. A feeling of utter exhilaration and satisfaction about how my life was doing took over me, which made me unaware that Chester left the car and walked around to open the door for me.

"I'm actually starving, baby, so please, come back down to Earth and let's eat," Chester said, pulling me away from my thoughts.

"Stop whining," I said, tickling him under his arm. When I walked away to the restaurant, he slapped me in the ass and pulled my back against his crotch. "Hey!" I protested.

We got inside the restaurant laughing and playing with each other.

There were only a couple of people eating peacefully, but the waitresses were nowhere to be seen. We took our seats at the corner of the restaurant, near the window, obviously. 

My eyes fell on a small bell at the counter and since no one was there to get our order, I got up from the table and leaned against the counter, ringing the bell.

Chester's eyes followed me, more specifically, my ass. He slightly bit his lower lip, as he noticed how tight my jeans were and how salient my ass looked. His eyes delighted him with a glance over every inch of my body, his pants tightening as I leaned even more against the counter to ring the bell again.

The wall on the other side of the counter was covered in mirrors, so after a few moments waiting for the waitress to show up, I noticed Chester's stare. I noticed how he was biting his lower lip and how pleased he looked. That was definitely a look I wanted more often because it was making me burn inside.

When the waitress showed up, I decided to make our order immediately, leaning on purpose on the counter to tell her exactly what we wanted from the menu. Chester's eyes grew wider and more attentive, knowing that I was teasing him on purpose.

I went back to the table and gave him an innocent look.

"What?"

Chester just stared at me.

"Nothing."

"Were you staring at my ass?" I asked with a grin on my lips that I tried to hide.

"No...?" 

My phone sent a notification sound that interrupted our moment. I picked it up just to check if it was important. It was just a message from my sisters, congratulating me. It was too long to read it right away, so I blocked my phone and put it back to the purse.

When I looked back, Chester had the same look on his face that he had before.

"You're staring again," I playfully said.

"Sorry," he said, looking down.

"You can stare like that as long as you want," this caught his attention. I took off my jacket in a slow, sensual way, pulling my hair to fall on each side of my breasts. My simple white tank top was more than enough for him to just stare again, with his eyes completely dark. It was going to be a long dinner for him.

He cleared his throat when the waitress showed up with our order quicker than we expected. Chester leaned in to cover his erection. It would be awkward if she noticed his huge bulge.

When I took the first bite of that delicious hamburger, I made sure to moan in the most obscene tone, that only Chester would be able to hear. He was going to take a bite on his food when he heard me, pausing his movement to look at me. His lips were slightly parted, and he even gulped.

"You're teasing me," he muttered, stating the obvious. "You are fucking teasing me."

"Am I?" I asked with a clear smirk on my lips.

"You are, and that is never good," he said.

"How?"

"I'll show you... Just wait," he warned me, eating his dinner with his eyes glued to me. My grin never left my face, not even when we talked about the next years I had to finish my studies. Chester was already planning to make arrangements to get me an internship with some friends from university. Rene's husband had already offered an internship in his clinic, but we still had to schedule a formal meeting to talk about it.

We talked about the future, what we expected to be in 5 years. Obviously, my dreams included him, happy and less pained. If I had the opportunity to make a wish come true, it would be exactly that: a happy and mentally healthy Chester. Sharing these moments with him made me realize that I don't ever want my life to be any different. I don't care if I live forever in my Nanna's apartment, or if I have to work for the rest of my life in a flower shop. If, at the end of the day, Chester is waiting for me, laying on my couch or making tea in my kitchen as he usually does when I'm about to come home, I would do it without thinking twice.

"Now, you're the one staring," he said.

I smiled at him, feeling my cheeks burning.

We finished dinner, lost in between laughs and suggestive glances. Both of us were anxious to get out of there, to be finally alone. But we still had a long way to go, until we arrived home. So, we needed to calm because it was going to be a long ride. When we got out, the breeze was slightly cold, so I put the jacket over my shoulders and walked to the car with my hand intertwined with Chester's.

Chester opened the door for me, as usual, his eyes wandering my body while I passed by him. He closed the door and rushed to the other side to start the car. I had to take the jacket off my shoulders to fasten the seat belt but the car was still warm from the warming sun of the day.

He was oddly quiet all of a sudden. His hands were gripping the steering wheel so intensively that his knuckles were white. I stared at him for a while, trying to figure out why the hell he grew so silent. 

Then, my eyes fell to his lap, where I saw the reason for this behavior.

"Chester..." I whispered, leaning in so that my lips found his ear. I sucked his earlobe very gently, making him shiver.

_"Fuck,"_ he breathed out.

My hand grabbed his crotch and stroked it through his pants. He groaned, trying to keep his eyes on the road. I continued stroking him, more roughly now, as his pants increased. My lips worked their way down to his neck, where I bit his skin. He shivered at that sensation, sending a few waves of pure bliss to the tip of his pulsating cock. I felt him hardening under his pants, and I knew he would come soon enough. 

That is why I stopped and leaned back to my seat.

Chester groaned. _Fuck,_ he groaned so loud and looked at me with such pissed off look that for a moment I slightly jumped back. Then, aggressively, he turned the steering wheel to the darkest alley he could find, locked the car and turned it off. 

He turned his body to me.

"You shouldn't play with fire, princess," he said. "Teasing me like that won't end well."

"What are you doing, Chester? We're in the middle of nothing," I said, turning my head around to check our surroundings.

"Exactly. We can do whatever we want," he said in a lustful suggestive tone. He climbed back to the backseats and sat down, looking at me in an expectant way. His erection was growing again, harder this time and it was starting to pulsate painfully inside his pants. "Come."

"Here???" I asked, slightly scared about the situation, but also completely turned on. This a completely new side of Chester, that, I must admit, I was truly enjoying.

"Yes," he said, unbuttoning his pants. "I want you to ride me right here."

I widened my eyes, feeling my mouth watering. He had his pants down, along with his boxers, exposing his proeminent member. Without thinking twice, I unhooked my bra and took it off, leaving my white tank top on (I presumed he would like the view) and took off my pants. Then, I climbed to the backseat, feeling like those horny teenagers when I felt the tip of his cock rubbing against my slit.

Chester grabbed his cock and rubbed it in my clit, feeling how wet I was becoming because of his behavior. I bit my lip, trying to conceal a moan, but Chester looked up at me and nodded his head.

"I want to hear you, Ana. There's no one around," he said. I nodded my head and let my body down to sink him deeply inside of me, both of us moaning at that pleasant sensation. 

I stood there, with him buried deep inside, adjusting to his length. That position made him go further, touching spots that usually are missed and that I found out that I just loved.

"Are you alright?" he asked since he noticed that I took my time before moving my hips.

"Yes, I'm more than fine... _fuck_..." I muttered, moving my hips up and down slowly, feeling every inch of my walls clenching around his cock. Chester's fingers were gripping my hips, tightening as he was trying to fight the urge to thrust harshly against me like he so desperately wanted to. Instead, he helped me increase my pace, both of us fighting for air. The windows of the car were getting fogged and we were finally more hidden from the outside world.

The only things that could be heard were our moans and our heavy breathing. My hands gripped Chester's short wavy hair, pulling it tightly for more support. When my finger runs through his hair like that, it makes him go crazy.

Chester's eyes stared at my breasts, bouncing inside my top. He loved the almost see-through fabric and how my hard nipples were clearly noticeable. He approached his face and trapped one of the nipples between his teeth, biting the fabric of the top and leaving a wet spot where his mouth was. I tilted my head back, delighted with that sensation. Chester noticed how it made me feel and bit me again, pleased to hear me moan louder. Then, he attacked my breasts, mercifulness, while one of his hands worked its way down to my clit, which he rubbed fiercely to make me come.

After a few strokes, my body trembled, sending waves of pleasure to that sweet spot inside of me.

"I'm... I'm almost..." I muttered, not being able to finish the sentence as I came undone on top of that gorgeous man.

I stilled my movements entirely as I spasmed on his lap, a faint gasp, fighting for air being the only noise I made.

"Chester..." I moaned when I was gathering my strength once again after coming down from the high.

"Shh..." he said. "We're not done yet."

I looked at him with a confused expression, panting and still trembling. Without saying anything, he pulled me out of his lap, pulling himself out of me and pushed me against the window on all four. Then, I felt him brushing the tip of his cock between my soaking folds and the last thing I heard was "It's my turn now," before being fucked from behind.

***

The next morning, we decided to stay in bed all day. It was Saturday, I was still sore from last night's events and I was too tired to even go out. Chester was sleeping peacefully by my side, with his angelic relaxed face warming up my heart.

I hopped out of bed, hoping that I wouldn't wake him up and made coffee. 

Picking up my phone, I noticed that I had a message from Nicole. She wanted to go out that evening to catch up. I did plan on staying in bed all day, but I haven't been with Nikki for a while. Study and working at the same time took all my time. I'm lucky that Chester just lives across the corridor and I can just knock on his door whenever I want to (which is almost every day). I also didn't think Chester would mind, so I told her to show up at my place after lunch.

Chester pouted when I told him I was going out with Nikki, and even pulled me down to the bed, pinning me under him. When she knocked on my door, we had to rush out of the bath we've been taking for too long.

"You're going have to wait," I told her, my cheeks burning red while I tucked the towel tight around my body.

"You were still in the shower? Damn you, fucker. I drove for 45 minutes and you're still not ready --" 

"Hey," an already dressed-up Chester showed up in the living room, making her nod her head in understanding. Chester had his hair still wet, the curls of his hair dripping but intensifying its dark color that I love so badly. I couldn't help but bite my lower lip as I watched the way his white t-shirt hugged his torso so well. Luckily he left the darkest clothes he used to wear all the time. When I met him, all his clothes were either black, dark blue, dark brown or dark green. When we started going out, for some reason, he bought blue shirts, white shirts, and other happier colors that made his beautiful eyes and hair pop out. He told me that I made him see more colors in life and for that reason, he preferred to buy lighter colored-clothes.

"Oh -- ok, I see. Well, go on, get your ass ready because we're going shopping. I need a dress," she rushed me, pushing me to the bedroom and closing the door.

She turned around and looked at Chester with a curious expression.

"She looks happy," she stated as if she was thinking out loud.

"I think she is happy," Chester said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Don't screw up," she warned him.

"Why do you always say that when you see me?" He asked playfully.

"Because... because she's a great person and I don't want to see her get hurt. And I will always remind you of that because I'd fucking kill you if I ever see her without that smile," she said in a threatening way, which made Chester smile warmly. 

He didn't answer, he just nodded his head, sitting on the kitchen island to wait for me.

A few moments later, I was back, dressing casually with some jeans and a red tank top. I grabbed my purse and my red shoes and walked back to the living room.

"Dinner tonight?" I asked Chester. "I'll cook."

"Yes, I think I'm gonna see Rene while you're out," he said, kissing my forehead before walking to the door. 

"Cool, see ya then, baby. Love you," I said, throwing a kitchen cloth at Nikki who rolled her eyes and feigned a vomit.

"Love you, princess," Chester said. "Love you too, shithead," he told to Nikki that looked at me with her eyes widened in shock.

I shrugged and walked to the front door. Nikki followed me immediately, walking me to her car and driving to the shopping center. Apparently, she was having a special dinner with Pete's family the next day. It was his father's birthday and they always do a fancy party, so she needed a fancy dress. Obviously, I took her to the same store Janice told me when I needed a dress for the University's anniversary. 

"Back again for another dress?" The woman asked.

"No," I smiled, "but my friend needs one. Can you help her?"

She smiled, guiding Nikki through the dresses in the store. I just wandered around, observing all the dresses exposed. A red one caught my attention. It wasn't too flashy, but definitely not one to go unnoticed. It was simple. A bodycon, with two straps and knee-lengthed. I kinda liked it, and something tells me that Chester would like that too.

Nikki showed up dressed in a light purple off shoulders long dress. It was actually very beautiful, but she didn't seem too happy about it.

"What is it?"

She shrugged and sat on a small couch.

"I don't know. I love being with Pete, but..."

"But?" I asked, narrowing my brows._ Was she having second thoughts about her relationship? Wasn't she happy about it? _

"... But I don't know if I'll just fit in his family," I sat by her side, watching her fidgeting the fabric of the dress in her lap. "I'll meet them for the first time tomorrow and I don't know if they will like me."

"Come on, Nikki. What's not to like? You are an amazing girl, and they will love you, I'm sure of that. And even if they don't, Pete does, isn't that what matters? Besides you've been dating for more than a year, his parents are very excited to meet you, I'm sure." She shrugged and kept looking down at her fingers. "I've met them before, and I can assure you they will love you. They are rich, very rich, but they are simple people, who care about the simplest things. And they mostly trust Peter and know they wouldn't date you if you weren't such a precious girl. Now," I lifted her chin to look at me. "Do you like that dress or not?"

"I do, I really do."

"Do you think Peter will like it too?"

"Yes," she smiled, getting up to get undressed.

"Good, then. Go buy it and wear it proudly."


	35. Just some relaxing moments

After shopping with Nikki the whole afternoon, I returned home by dinner's time but knocked on Chester's door instead of going to my apartment. He opened his door, his messy hair and puffy eyes telling me he has been sleeping.

I showed him my hands, the two bags from McDonald's I bought for dinner and a wide smile appeared on his lips. "You're going to get me fat," he said before closing his door and following me to my apartment.

We both sat casually on the couch eating our dinner.

"Your birthday is in a few weeks," Chester said all of a sudden, a flicker of panic flashing through his eyes. "I need to get you a gift."

"I don't need presents," I chuckled. "As long as I have you."

"That's cute but cheesy," he rolled his eyes.

"It's true anyway," I muttered while I took a bite in my Mc Royal Bacon, humming as I tasted that special sauce. _This is what heaven looks like_.

"We gotta do something. At least get your parents here and we're going somewhere for dinner," he insisted.

"Alright, alright, pain in the ass," I threw him a napkin, making him laugh.

"You are the pain in the ass, remember?"

"How could I forget? Your favorite pain in the ass," I said, remembering that time when I found out about Mike's constant harassment, and faced him right in the middle of the corridor, scaring him to death with my Jiu-jitsu moves. 

That night I told Chester that I liked him.

I smiled at the images playing in my mind and slowly zoned out as I remembered every moment we spent together ever since we met each other. _What a rollercoaster_...

Voices and noises in the corridor snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked at Chester with a lifted brow as I recognized the familiar male voices that were knocking on his door. I raised from my chair and opened the door, slightly confused when I saw Rob, David, and Joe standing there, with their backs turned to me, calling in funny tones for Chester's name.

"Hey!" I greeted, making them turn around immediately.

"Ana! We came here to visit Chester," Rob said.

"Clearly... He is not home," I said, grinning at their disappointed faces. I opened my door ajar and exposed Chester hiding behind me. "He's in here, come on in."

They rushed to get inside of the apartment, immediately scanning the living room and the kitchen area with their eyes. Joe glued his eyes to the glass cabinet where I had my comic books and my small action figures. Rob just admired my guitar and David admired my grandfather's turntable.

"Do you want anything, coffee, beer, tea?"

David and Rob asked me for a beer, but Joey wanted a coffee. I immediately grabbed their beverages, smiling as I saw them playfully talk to Chester, just goofing around with him. Inviting them to sit, I grabbed a beer for myself and sat by Chester's side, trying to understand what the hell the guys were talking about.

"We're getting so old," Joe said.

"Talk for yourself -- I'm at the best version of myself," David protested.

When Chester noticed me furrowing my brows, he explained why they were so nostalgic.

"Apparently, every year our school throws a party to join people that went to school together 10 years ago. This is year is our turn. We received the invitation."

"Oh -- " I mouthed, but remained quiet as the group continued chatting.

"No, you're getting old. Remember the time you wanted to date Jessica Brown? The ugly, fat girl that had a crush on you because of your greasy hair?" Joe turned to me. "Did you know he had long unwashed hair when he was younger?"

"I didn't!" He protested, making me laugh at their discussion.

"Yes, but you evolved from that and now you turned to a man... A tubby man..."

"You're an asshole," David stated, huffing in despair. 

Rob, who has been quiet the whole time, turned to Chester with a gleam in his eyes. He has been admiring the guitar since he entered my apartment.

"There's only one thing I miss from those times," he ended up saying. "When we were a band."

Walking to pick up my guitar, he carefully took put it on his lap, checking if the chords were tuned. Satisfied with the sound, he started playing random songs, making the room utterly silent. Every person in the room gulped as memories of those times flooded their minds. I observed as Chester dropped his head down and fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

There was no need for him to tell me what he was thinking about, his pained grimace said it all. 

My hand moved to his lap, grabbing his fidgeting fingers, intertwining mine with his. This simple gesture, made him raise his head at me and smile weakly. He was so used to suffer alone all these years, but now he no longer needed to feel alone. I was there for him.

The moment was interrupted when David decided to sing and ruin everything.

"Hey, hey" Joe protested, covering his ears with his hands. "I beg you, stop!"

"Asshole!" David said.

"You're killing the moment," Joe pouted.

"You sing it then!"

"No, I was not the singer, remember? Or does your old brain can't go back in time?"

Their heads turned to Chester who widened his eyes and nodded his head.

"Oh, come on man, just one, for the old times," Rob asked.

I noticed how Chester's hand became sweaty. Singing for me, was one thing. Or at the university anniversary. Another thing completely different was singing with the guys he used to be in a band with, along with Mike, when Mia was still alive. That would certainly bring back even more painful memories. 

Chester looked at me, his doubts melting as he noticed my expectant eyes, staring right at him. I squeezed his hand as a way to give him my support.

Rob continued playing songs from their childhood, while Joe ruined them with his voice. Eventually, Chester started humming and before I knew it, he was singing songs like Queen and Paul McCartney. I closed my eyes, delighted by the sound of his voice, and everyone in that room was smiling and some even tried to hide their teary eyes. Such a beautiful moment.

At first, his voice trembled, unsure if he was doing the right thing, but when confidence took over him, it sounded stronger, louder and heavenly. I know for sure that if he pursued a career as a musician, he'd be successful. Not all artists can sing like him, not all artists can put so many emotions in one simple note. And that's the real essence of the music.

Chester pulled me to his embrace, brushing my hair with his fingers, as Rob continued playing.

After a while, he stopped singing and Rob stopped playing, placing the guitar in its proper place, a proud look on his face.

"Hey man, big news. David has huge news," Rob said.

"Yeah, I almost forgot. That's why we came here looking for you. I bought the bar, the one you took us when we met... I bought it and I'll have it all reshaped and redecorated. There's a party in two months, I'd like you both to come."

"That's amazing! You've always wanted that," Chester said. 

"Yeah, but not any kind of bar. He wanted a strip club," Joe said, receiving a pinch in his arm from David.

"When I was like 14, yeah. Asshole," he protested. "So, you'll come, right?"

Chester looked at me and I just smiled.

"Absolutely, we wouldn't miss it," I said.

"Yeah, ok. Cool," he said. "Cool."

"We should go, now, it's getting late," Rob said. "It's way past Joe's bedtime."

We all chuckled, including Joe who didn't catch up on the meaning of the words until they were leaving my apartment.

Chester turned to me when I closed the door.

"I should go too," he said.

"Oh, why? I was enjoying your company," I said. "Besides, I should show you how much I loved the fact that you finally sang with them."

Chester stared at me, not knowing if he should talk about how hard it was or how painful his heart was making him feel for singing, or if he should just accept whatever I intended to do. I pulled him to me, placing his arms around my waist and snaking mine around his neck. I kissed him very gently on his lips, pulling away slightly.

"Take me to the bedroom," I ordered.

"Your wish is my command."

****

"Ana, baby... Wake up, we're here," Chester whispered in my ear in a docile tone.

I opened my eyes, gathering my senses about my surroundings. _A plane_. We were on the plane. I closed my eyes during the trip. And it seemed that he just arrived... to the fucking Bahamas! Finally!

I snapped my eyes open immediately, as the rest of the people on the plane were almost completely out. Chester waited for everyone to exit before waking me up, instead of interrupting my peaceful sleep. He chuckled when I jumped out of my seat to gather my bag and followed me, shaking his head at my excitement.

"Jesus, this is beautiful!" I said as soon as we left the plane.

"It's the airport," Chester mocked me.

"It is beautiful anyway. Look at the shiny blue sky, you don't get this in Arizona!" I stated all matter-of-factly. "And the air, smell it! It's pure!"

Chester nodded his head, I did have a point.

Silently, he followed me through the airport, looking for the place to get our bags. The agency had someone waiting for us to take us to the hotel, so we didn't spend too much time inside the airport building.

The trip over to the hotel was short but pleasant. I could see many stores and restaurants that I was interested in, but the thing that excited me the most was the view of the blue horizon.

"Look.." I pointed at the ocean. "It's heaven."

Chester chuckled and pulled me to his embrace, placing a kiss at the top of my head.

When we got to the hotel room, I opened my mouth in shock. Chester must have paid a fortune for that gigantic suite and knowing that I was ready to complain about the money he spent, he threw me to the bed and fell on top of me.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"To shut you up," he said.

"There are plenty of ways to sh --"

He didn't let me finish, crashing his lips against mine. Chester didn't play, he knew what he wanted, what he intended to do, and he took it. He took off all of my clothes and finally made use of the expensive bed he paid for.

Two hours later, after washing our sated bodies, tainted with the marks of the previous activities, we left the hotel to explore the surroundings, to get to know the streets and to know our way around the place. We were starving, so we searched for a place to eat something. The flight was long and tiring, it was almost dinner time when we finished our little walk, so we decided it would be better if we eat and get some rest to enjoy the beach early the next day.

Back at the hotel room after dinner, and while I washed my teeth and prepared myself for bed, Chester spent his time at the balcony, sitting at the edge with his eyes lost somewhere in the horizon.

I stole his shirt, my favorite set of clothes to bed lately, and put it on to cover my body. Walking in barefoot, I hugged him from behind, resting my head against the smooth skin of his back. 

"Come to bed," I whispered, only to be replied to with a hum. Chester barely acknowledged my presence or my request. "Come back to me..." I kissed his back several times until he moved from the edge of the balcony and looked at me.

"Hey, there, beautiful," he said, pulling me to a kiss.

"Your body is here, but your mind is far, far away," I stated.

"Just thinking about stuff..." His eyes avoided mine for a moment until I cupped his cheeks and made him look at me.

"Stuff you weren't supposed to think about, right?" He simply nodded, lowering his head.

"I've never been happier in my entire life," he ended up confessing. "I never thought I'd happy, let alone like this..."

I chuckled.

"And you're sad about being happy?"

"Yeah, so it seems..." He said, pulling me closer to him. "I can't stop thinking that she will never experience this much happiness... I wish she could..."

My expression melted instantly and I pulled him to a hug. He finally came down from the edge and I could finally feel his whole body towering me, his neck buried in my neck.

"I know... But she can't, Chester. So you have to do it for her," I said, making him look at me. "The girl loved you with all her heart. I know she would want you to be happy, so allow yourself to be happy, if not for you, for her -- and for me."

Chester pulled away from my neck and a small smile appeared on his lips.

"I love you," he whispered, barely brushing his lips against mine.

"And I love you, Ches. More than you can imagine. So, please, allow yourself to feel all this happiness without feeling guilty because you truly deserve it."

He nodded his head, even though I know he wasn't fully convinced. A brow was lifted on his face as his eyes traveled down my body.

"Why do you keep stealing my shirts?"

"I like your perfume... Why? Want it back?"

"It looks great on you, but..." His hands started unbuttoning his shirt, button by button, very slowly. "I think I might want it back, please."

When he did the last button, he could finally open the shirt, but he didn't take it off. Instead, he opened it and beheld the sight in front of him. Then, he looked at me with a lustful look in his beautiful and shiny brown eyes and slowly leaned in to kiss me. 

***

When I opened my eyes the next morning, I felt pure bliss... The warming light of the sun, illuminating our bedroom through the big windows; the sound of the waves just outside the hotel; the peaceful breathing of the tattooed-man lying by my side: it all felt like heaven. If someone has any doubts about the existence of God, search the answer no more. I have an angel by my side, and being made by God himself is the only explanation for having such a perfect man in my life.

Chester stirred in his sleep. It felt like he heard my thoughts since he smiled slightly.

"Good morning," he muttered, without opening his eyes.

"Good morning," I said, raising my brow. "How did you know I was awake?"

He opened his dark doe-eyes, gleaming at me.

"I spent many sleepless nights by your side and the only way to calm myself was watching you sleep... So I know you more than you know yourself," he admitted.

_Damn_. I'd be soaking my panties -- if I was wearing any.

"We should get up and explore the island," I sat down trying to change the subject to a less melting one. Last night was already so overwhelming, I don't think I'd handle a morning like that.

"Yeah, we should," he said, pulling me down to lay in the bed with him. "In a few minutes."

"Chester..." I protested. "It's a beautiful day outside."

"And we will explore it," he muttered, burying his head in the crook of my neck to sleep a little bit more. "Later."

"I bought some new sets of bikinis and there's some that I think you'd love to see me on them," I said, making him raise his head immediately.

He hopped out of bed and held a hand in the air for me.

"Let's go to the beach then," he said, making me laugh at his morning erection.

***

The Bahamas are a set of over 700 islands, cays, and islets in the Atlantic Ocean located north of Cuba and relies heavily on tourism because of its beautiful beaches. Chester and I stayed in a 5 stars hotel in Nassau, the capital of Bahamas. Founded by the English in the 17th century, it has many old buildings in colonial style. Our hotel was one of those buildings, constructed near the beach. Our bedroom has a balcony with an amazing view of the ocean, a calming view that both of us needed.

There are beaches with cinema, something amazingly beautiful that I never imagined in my entire life. One of the nights we spent in Nassau, we saw a drama movie on the beach. Torches illuminated the night, and the only sound besides the movie was the crashing of the waves.

At night, the bars in the center of Nassau are filled with tourists and locals, giving us a good opportunity to meet people and know more about the culture of that paradise of a country. The music is a mix of African and Carribean rhythm, with outdoor dance floors in some bars. And in the street, you can usually find dancers showing their moves. There's talent everywhere.

Obviously, for us, the main attractions are the beaches.

Crystal clear water. White thin sand. Warm weather for the whole year. The sea is filled with life, being also ideal for nautical sports like snorkel and diving with a lot of sharks, turtles, and colored fishes.

I could spend the rest of my life admiring the beauty of it. All my life I wanted to live near the ocean, and I'd love to live in a place like that. A dream only. My wallet does not support such a desire.

One of the mornings, I made Chester wake up soon so that we could spend the morning enjoying the sun without being bothered by the great number of tourists making noise on the beach during the evening. I just wanted to relax, but when I noticed how deserted the beach seemed, other thoughts flooded my mind.

We selected a spot in the sand and rested on our towels. 

I took off my clothes and exposed my new bikini set. A golden bikini, a little too revealing. 

I lay on the towel but I felt Chester on the same sitting position, so I opened one eye to check on him and he was staring right at me.

"What?!" I asked.

"Nothing," he said suddenly as if I wakened him up from some kind of trance. "Water?"

"Sure," I said, not believing in his answer but also not wanting to insist. Probably he was just being Chester, as usual.

I followed him to the water, a warm sensation evolving our bodies. Chester dove, swimming underwater while I walked behind him. Inhaling the fresh maritime breeze, I closed my eyes to feel the water touching my skin.

When I opened them, I focused on the figure in front of me, emerging from the clear water. Chester's body always has a way to make me feel a fresh wave of electricity running through my veins. I noticed how the water droplets strolled down his tattooed chest, down to his abs. I noticed how the skin of his muscled arms was shining as the sun reflected the water. It was simply divine to watch.

Without noticing, I was biting my lower lip and Chester saw it before I could look away.

I let my body fall back and tried to float at the surface, opening my arms to each side. Closing my eyes, I let all the sound around me being muffled by the water invading my ears. It was a good sensation though. Serene and quiet.

Inhaling and exhaling deeply, I tried to clear my mind off things clouding my logical reasoning and off urges that were completely inappropriate. But Chester also had other things in his mind.

Even though the water was already warm, the temperature of my body started to rise, as Chester's hand rested on my waist and pulled me up to meet him, his thumbs carefully stroking my skin. My arms were around his neck, pulling him just a few inches away from my lips. The look in my eyes told Chester everything I was thinking about and he leaned down, his soft plump lips devouring mine slowly and passionately.

I intertwined my hands with the wet hair at the back of his head, pulling him away to sprinkle a few kisses on his neck. Chester hummed quietly, his hands delighting him as he squeezed my breasts. A moan escaped my mouth and Chester wanted to hear more, so shyly he reached around to untie my bikini top.

Pulling away from him in shock, I covered my breasts.

"Chester, someone might see. We aren't exactly on a private beach," I said.

He looked around and shrugged.

"I don't see anyone."

"I never had sex on the beach," I admitted immediately.

"Me neither, but they say the sand gets everywhere," he replied also quickly.

"Well, we do have the towels," I thought out loud and Chester lifted a brow. "And there's a dune out there that I thought it would be a perfect hidden spot..."

Chester widened his eyes at the realization that I had thought about that before and looked around again. 

"Still no one's around..."

His hands moved down to my ass, then to my tights. Easily, he hoisted me up, my legs hooking around his waist. Walking back to the sand, he put me down and grabbed the towels. I already started walking and he rushed behind me, gluing his body to mine, making me feel the proeminent member under his swim trunks.

Behind the dunes, he put the towels on the sand, laid down and pulled me down with him without a warning, making me yelp. Without giving me time to say anything, he took my top off completely, exposing my breasts, which he attacked immediately. Climbing on top of me, his thumb rubbed my nipple, while the other hand massaged my breast. I clutched his shoulders tightly, moaning as he played how he so desired.

Both of us knew about the dangers of doing it in a public space like the beach, and we were aware that we needed to be quick. So, Chester sat up and yanked my bikini bottoms off. A smirk appeared across his face.

"Let's see how wet you are," he said.

I rolled my eyes at his pun, but when his wet cold hand met my burning core, I breathed out.

Chester didn't tease me for too long. His hand untied his trunks and exposed his erect cock, throbbing painfully to feel my walls around it.

I cried out silently when he finally thrust inside of me, stilling as he savored the welcoming sensation of having me surrounding him completely. When he was satisfied with the feeling, he started to move. There was nothing slow nor gentle about it. He crashed his hips hard against mine, again and again, and I tried not to scream as I reached climax in a matter of seconds.

He stopped, raised a brow.

"Already?" He asked.

"You're too good?" I excused myself, moaning when he slammed his hips against mine again. He set a quick pace again smirking when a second orgasm was clearly coming out.

Chester wasn't going to hold himself for too long. Neither he should. We were on a beach. Where people could show up at any moment and we shouldn't be doing that... And just the adrenaline of the possibility was enough to make him reach his climax quickly, spreading his seeds inside of me with quick and hard thrusts, slowing down until he stilled.

He buried his head in the crook of my neck, breathing warmly on my skin.

"No sand on the wrong places," I stated.

Chester took his time to reply, still panting intensely.

"Yeah... We can do it on the beach more often, then," he joked.


	36. Happy birthday - birthday presents

"Good morning," I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. Chester was on top of me, planting several kisses along my neckline, my jaw, my face, my arms, my hands, every inch of skin he could see. His soft lips always make me moan, but that morning he was making me ticklish.

"Good morning, love. Happy birthday," he smirked before kissing me softly on my lips.

"Thank you, baby," I said against his lips.

He sat back to the mattress and I raised a brow at his unusual energy.

"So, what are we doing for your birthday?" He asked.

"Uh... is staying in my pajamas, eating pizza, Netflix, and chill an option?" Chester chuckled at my question but nodded his head, pulling me up to sit with him on the bed.

"No, we have to go out and something. It's your birthday," he insisted. "Come on."

"But... what about some birthday fun?" I asked in a suggestive tone, dragging my ass to sit on his lap. My hand rubbed his back up and down.

"We're having birthday fun, either way, baby, trust me," Chester replied, leaving me a little curious. I puffed, knowing that I wasn't going to win over this conversation. But Chester, being Chester, noticed that I really wanted to stay in and made me look at him when I was trying to get out of bed. "You really don't want to go out, do you?"

I looked at him and shrugged.

"Tonight we're having dinner with my family... I mean, I'd love to stay in with the man I love, enjoying our time together without having my mother nagging me all the time asking me when are we going to give her grandchildren."

Chester chuckled, remembering how uncomfortable usually those diners are. But that night he had something more interesting prepared for me. No way on Earth we were going to escape dinner with my parents, but at least he had the mission to make it less dull for me.

"Ok, then. I'm going to make breakfast. Pizza for lunch?"

"Sounds perfect for me. Can I help you with breakfast?" I said, grabbing one of his t-shirts and slipping it on.

Enjoying the sight, Chester pulled me back to him, falling back to the mattress with me on top. I giggled as he turned our bodies around and lay on top of me. 

"Can I have you for breakfast?" He asked, reaching for my chest to squeeze my breasts. A moan escaped my mouth when I felt his teeth on my shoulder, slowly brushing his lips against my skin, going down to the v-neck of the t-shirt I stole from him.

My breathing intensified and my heart rate increased as Chester started his work all the way down to the hem of the t-shirt.

Suddenly, he stopped.

"But maybe later, now we have breakfast to do," he jumped out of the bed, holding a hand in the air to help me get up. Groaning, I accepted his help, knowing that he did it on purpose to get me frustrated. The reason, I'd found out soon.

The rest of the day was just as I expected, lazy and comfortable, laying on the couch, enjoying Netflix, playing PS and cuddling. The perfect birthday for me. The one thing that I truly didn't have the opportunity to enjoy was my boyfriend's body. For some reason, Chester avoided sex during the day, always stopping when things started getting steamy, which, I must admit, was so freaking infuriating.

Either way, eventually, we had to get ready for dinner. My family was coming to town and we were going too have a birthday dinner at a restaurant. Chester had to make some kind of excuse not to shower with me because he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself if he saw me fully naked. Besides, he had some stuff to prepare in his apartment, so he left me to get ready.

I picked a dress from my wardrobe, something simple and casual and, obviously, put my sneakers on. So, when Chester came back fully dressed, I was already waiting for him.

"For you," he said, handing me a small bag.

"Thank you, baby," I said, kissing his cheek with a smile on my face. I found odd his sneer, and when I opened the bag, my smile vanished. "What the --"

_A vibrator._

_With remote control._

I raised my eyes at him and he waved the controller in his hand.

"Go put it on," he ordered with a darkness look behind his innocent eyes.

"What?"

"I want you to use it tonight," he clarified.

"But we're having dinner with my family," I protested. Not that I didn't want to use that thing... But it's my family. What if they hear the vibration? What if I moan in the middle of the dinner. 

"So?"

I widened my eyes at him, parting my lips slightly.

"Just go put it in and come back."

I was shocked by his gift, but I was also shocked by the fact that I was actually going to the bathroom to put that thing inside of me.

When I left the bathroom, I was still adjusting to that foreign object, staring at Chester with an uncomfortable look. 

"How does it feels?" He asked.

"I don't know... Strange?"

Chester took the controller in his hands and clicked the button, playing with the different types of vibration. My legs immediately gave in as the unusual but pleasant sensation started inside of me.

"Woah..." I murmured. 

"What about now? Does it feel good?"

I nodded my head, gulping when he turned it off.

"Good, let's go then," he said, holding his arm for me to grab.

"Was this the reason why you didn't want to have sex with me today?" I asked and Chester chuckled, locking my apartment behind us.

"You noticed that?"

"Well, duh!" 

Chester raised a brow at me.

"You're insatiable."

I opened my mouth at him, shocked, but he just snaked his arm around my shoulders and led me to his car, shutting me up with a fervent kiss against his car that made head spin.

"Tonight I'll take all your frustrations away, I promise you," he said, opening the door for me.

When we finally arrived at the restaurant, my family was there already, waiting for us. With hugs and kisses, they greeted us, immediately walking to the reserved table. The dinner started normally and since they were too eager to start giving me their gifts, they gave them to me as soon as we finished our food. My parents gave me a pack with relaxing massages with those black hot stones; My sisters gave me my favorite Dolce & Gabbana perfume and a small brown handbag; My grandmother had an envelope for me.

"Open it," she said handing it to me.

I took the paper from inside, and I covered my mouth with my hand.

"Nanna, I can't accept this."

"Shut up," she said. "It's for you. I wouldn't want it any other way. Besides, you have been taking good care of it, you deserve it."

I was shocked, speechless, but moved at the same time. My grandmother gave me her apartment. Where she made a home with my grandfather, where they raised my mother. The home that holds many memories of their lives together. And now she wants me to have it and I have to say that I felt honored and grateful.

"Thank you," I said, feeling the tears burning behind my eyes.

"Oh, no need to thank me. Take good care of it," she said, hugging me.

"I will, I promise."

It was Chester's time to give me a small velvety box. My sisters' eyes grew wider, thinking that he was going to purpose, but when I opened the gift, they both groaned in frustration as I revealed a silver bracelet with a white stone pendant in the shape of a heart and matching earrings.

"You bought them!" I gasped. We were walking through the mall, searching for a gift for Rene's birthday a few months ago and I basically drooled over those two pieces of jewelry. Chester bought them a few days after and hide it in the last drawer of his bedside table, where I couldn't find them.

"You loved them so much, so..." 

"Oh, I really love them. Thank you," I gave him a quick peck on his lips. 

My father moved uncomfortably in his chair, still not used to see his baby girl being stolen from him by a random man. Every time he sees me in Chester's arms, he knows I'm safe and loved, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel uncomfortable with the sight. Besides, even though he sees Chester as a good man, he knows there is something strange about him. A darker side that no one knows about and part of him worries about it.

"I still have something else for you. But it's in my house, so you'll have to wait."

"You don't need to spoil me with gifts," I said, leaning my head against his shoulder. 

"I know."

Chester moved his hand under the table to grab something in his pocket and I almost jumped in my seat when I felt the vibrator on. I almost forgot about it, but Chester was going to remind me of it for the rest of the night.

"Are you ok, honey?" My mother asked.

"Yes," I cleared my throat. "Yes, I am. It's just a little hot in here."

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?" My mother agreed with me, looking around to search for some window to open.

I looked at Chester by the corner of my eyes, but he had this innocent smile and an angelic and relaxed expression on his face while he was so focused on the conversation he was having with my father.

And that went on during the dessert Every now and then, Chester would hit that button and I had to shut my lips in a thin line to prevent me from making any kind of obscene sound. My hand often squeezed his knee under the table, not to make him stop, but endure the pleasure. It's really uncomfortable to be in the middle of a family dinner, committing such an indecent act. But it was thrilling and exhilarating at the same time.

I licked my lower lip, bit him even to stop myself. Chester and I occasionally exchanged looks that said it all. Both of us just wanted to leave that damn place and finish what we started several times during that day.

He has been teasing me, giving and snatching away the idea of having a taste of him, leaving me at the edge of expectation, wet and ready for him, but not giving me nothing further than that. The vibrator was a way to keep doing it during the dinner, but when he arrived home he intended to do so much more.

And when we finally said goodbye to my family, it was almost 11 P.M.

Chester finally looked at me with hungry eyes as he led me to his car.

"You're sleeping in my place tonight," he stated.

"Why?"

"Because after what I'm about to do to you, you won't have the strength to leave my apartment."

I gulped, widening my eyes at him. Chester released a sultry chuckle muffled in his throat but didn't say anything else until we arrived at his apartment. He acted casually, even though I was dying of curiosity and, I must confess, a little nervous about what he prepared for me. He offered me tea and kept a casual conversation about dinner, ignoring the fact that I still have the vibrator inside of me.

After a few minutes of conversation, Chester coolly went for his pocket and I felt my body trembling for a moment as he turned on the vibrator.

A devilish smirk appeared on Chester's face as he waved the remote controller in the air.

"Did you like it?" He asked, stepping closer to me.

"You shouldn't have done this. Not during my family's dinner!" I complained, even though I honestly enjoyed every single moment of it.

"What about now, can I use it?"

I allowed a moan to escape my lips and Chester smirked even more. Pulling me by my waist, Chester crushed his lips against mine in a passionate way, allowing one of his hands to roam down my body, reaching for the hem of my dress to pull it up. He traced his fingers up my tight, making me shiver in anticipation. His fingers touched my lace underwear, rubbing it as the vibrator kept on working inside of me, doing wonders.

"I bought some stuff that I want to use on you," he said. "It's waiting in my bedroom."

"What is it?" My voice was faint and weak, mimicking the strength of my knees.

"You'll see," he whispered in my ear. "Now, be a good girl and take off your clothes. All of them."

I blinked at him when he turned off the vibrator and took a step back, just gawking at me.

"Come on," he insisted.

My hands went for the zipper at the side of the dress and buttoned the button in the back of my neck. I allowed the dark green dress to fall on the floor slowly exposing my new set of lingerie. Chester's lips slightly curled up, as his eyes grew darker. But he didn't speak or move. He just watched it unroll.

I took off my sneakers and my tights, my hands traveling up to unhook my bra.

"You can leave those on," he said. "I like it."

I nodded my head but shivered when he walked to me and turned me around. Feeling the hot temperature of his body, barely touching mine, I felt needy, like all that I needed at that moment was his embrace. But Chester had another idea on his mind, as he took a piece of cloth from his pocket and covered my eyes with it.

Then, when he tied it up behind my head, his hands slowly brushed my arms up and down, losing himself in the smoothness of my skin. He wanted to kiss every inch, but he knew he was going to have time for that later.

His hands landed on my shoulders, guiding me to his bedroom. I couldn't see anything, but I trusted him, so I allowed him to do whatever he wanted to do.

I felt his bed against my knees, and in a swift movement, he turned me around and kissed me with his hands cupping my face. I moaned in his mouth, feeling a burning trail of sensations going down from my lips, to my neck, my chest, my lower belly, all the way down to my core, igniting even more that sinful fire inside of me. As all of those waves of pure bliss blessed my body, Chester pushed me down to bed all of a sudden. I yelped at the fall, but relaxed when I felt his sheets under me.

His hands pulled me up to meet the headboard of his bed, and before I knew it, my wrists were tied up with some kind of straps.

"Chester?" I still had my eyes covered, so I couldn't see a thing.

"Shh... let me take care of you, baby. I want to try some things with you..." He sat on top of me, making me feel his semi-hard shaft inside of his pants. He leaned in and whispered in my ear. "I want to know what you like or not... I've been dying to do this... Do you trust me?"

"I do," I said, completely confident about my answer, but slightly scared of what he had planned.

"So let me take good care of you... Tonight will be all about you, doll... I'll stop if you're uncomfortable with something. But I need you to talk to me, to tell me what you want."

I hummed in response and Chester got to work.

"Let's see how you enjoyed your dinner," he said, dragging his body to the edge of the bed. His hands traveled to the hem of my panties and he pulled them off completely, throwing them to the floor. Then, he traced his fingers along my folds. "Jesus," he muttered under his breath. "You're soaked..."

He clicked the controller button and the vibrator turned on inside of me, making me moan again.

"You liked it, didn't you?"

"Yes," I admitted.

"And what if I do this?" He asked before licking his finger and rub my clit carefully. Another moan escaped my lip and I felt my core becoming wetter as he worked in a circular motion. "It seems to me you did enjoy this... More than I was expecting. Let me try another thing."

Chester stopped rubbing me and opened the bag he had prepared earlier that day. He took one black Halls in his mouth and sucked it until it started melting in his tongue. The freshness of that candy was so strong that he even felt his nostrils freezing. He leaned in and made me feel that cold sensation on his tongue. 

"Ooh..." I muttered, breathing out. 

He worked his tongue through my folds, all the way up to my clit which he sucked, leaving a cold sensation on my skin. 

"Do you like it?" He asked.

"Yes..." I muttered, releasing a moan when he attacked me with his tongue more fervently, licking and sucking until I could no longer contain the noise. So, he intensified the movement of his tongue, exploring different paces and angles, daring to go down to play with my entrance. His tongue pushed inside as far as he could, circling and stretching, making me gasp and dig my nails at the strap tied to my wrists. Subconsciously, I bucked my hips into his face, desperate for more. Chester smirked as he saw me almost begging him for more, so he licked his way back to my clit, sucking it back into his mouth. 

When he was done, he pulled away, looking up at my arched back, slowly relaxing back to the mattress.

Chester wasn't done yet, and he had something else for me. With his fingers, he clutched the string of the vibrator and pulled it out of me, making me gasp at the feeling.

His fingers returned to my folds, sucking in a sharp breath as he felt how slippery I was. He looked down at his pants, at his throbbing bulge and he imagined how easy it would be to just penetrate me right there. _Soon_...

He hopped out of bed and searched for another thing in the bag.

Then, he took off his clothes.

This whole time, my body was shivering, filled with goosebumps all over my skin, but at the same time, I was aching for his touch. I wanted more, and having him away from me like that was maddening. He noticed how I bit my lower lip and rubbed my right foot against the left one.

"Easy, baby girl..." he soothed me.

"I - I need you," I pleaded.

"I know."

He kneeled on the bed, on my right side, leaning in to kiss me, surprising me with his fresh lips due to the Halls he still had on his mouth. My eyes were still covered, so I didn't know what he was doing when he moved away from my lips. I just felt his weight shifting to each side of my body. I felt him on top of me, sitting at the top of my belly. Without much effort, Chester unhooked my bra and the straps and pulled it off of me.

He didn't move for a moment, though. Chester just stood there, admiring the beauty in front of him.

"You're beautiful, Ana. Inside and outside. Your body is an artwork, you know?" He said, the honesty of his voice hitting me in the core, making it ache even more for him. "And these tits... Fuck... You have no idea what I want to do with them when I see you naked."

I felt some kind of oil falling on my skin, the contrast of temperature making me gasp.

Chester's hand rubbed the oil through my skin, squeezing and massaging my breasts, pinching the nipple when he was done. I bit my lower lip as I sensed what he was going to do when he moved his body closer to them. He grabbed each breast in his hands and pulled them together as he buried his erection between the deep valley. He gave a little thrust of his hips just to feel the delightful slide of my skin against his.

"_Fuck_..." he breathed out. Finally, he achieved what he was longing for. Ever since we started dating and initiated our sexual life, he always wanted to fuck my breasts. He wanted it so badly, like some kind of weird fetish, but he was too scared to ask. First of all, he didn't want to shock me with his weirdness, and second of all, the things he wanted to do were too rough to do to someone as perfect and fragile like me. But as he started rubbing himself with the oil between my breasts, when he noticed how it actually turned me on, even more, he tilted his head back and did what he wanted for so long.

He looked down at me and he never found anything more erotic than that. All he wanted was to see my beautiful eyes, filled with lust, looking at him. So he took off the cloth from my eyes, being taken aback with the pure bliss expression I had hidden behind the cover. My shiny lustful orbs stared at him and that made him go almost over the edge.

He stopped immediately because no way he was going to allow it to end like that.

"You can come," I said, furrowing my brows when he nodded his head and pulled away from him. My eyes fell on his erection and grew wider. He was huge, bigger than I ever seen him before and, _fuck_, he was hard. _Never thought he wanted a boob job._

My eyes grew wider again when he showed me what he had bought. 

Another vibrator. Those huge vibrators with that spinning tip thing that always intrigued me.

Chester smirked and turned it on.

"Ready for more?" He asked.

And I had to close my eyes as soon as it touched my clit. 

"Chester! _Fuck_!!!!" I groaned aloud, moaning his name as I felt how hot that feeling was. My whole body was trembling in no more than five seconds, as all the energy I had was concentrated on my core, burning and at the edge of the explosion.

"Come, baby, come for me," he asked, his eyes becoming darker as he saw me squirming and moaning for him. He knew I was at the edge of my release, and he couldn't contain himself anymore, so, without stopping the vibrator, he positioned himself between my legs and penetrated me deep and quickly.

I whined and screamed as I felt my walls clenching involuntarily around him, releasing the tension that I have been building over the day. I came around him, so hard that I thought I would faint, but Chester didn't care and didn't stop. He kept thrusting, smacking his hips aggressively against mine, his whole body trembling as he was also at the edge.

Another electrifying sensation came over me, mainly because he was hard as fuck and because he didn't stop using the vibrator on my clit, and so, another orgasm was on the way.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I screamed out.

Chester stared at me as he noticed how I was panting and moaning. I said his name several times. I was a mess under him, but I wasn't done. And he wasn't done.

He leaned in, kissing me passionately as his hand fought to release my wrists at last.

My hands immediately fell on his back, pushing him harder against me, wandering down to meet his ass to make him move faster.

He understood that gesture and increased the pace, both of us moaning against each other lips, eyes glued to one another. Both of us knew he wouldn't be able to contain himself anymore, but we also didn't want to slow down or stop to help him hold himself a little more. I wanted him to give it all to me, not worrying about ending it sooner. So I pressed my hands harder against his back and he knew what I wanted.

The sounds of our moans and our skins smacking against each other reverberated through the room. And when Chester finally allow himself to let go, our groans and whimpers increased, as he spilled his seed inside of me until the last drop.

Panting, completely out of breath, Chester rested his forehead against mine, his eyes glued to me.

A smile appeared on my lips, completely satisfied and sated.

"Happy birthday, Ana," he simply said as both of us felt our exhausted bodies begging to finally get some rest.

"I love you so much," I whispered.

"How could I be so lucky?" He muttered lowly as if he was thinking out loud. "I love you, baby. I love you so, so much..."

I smiled at him, pulling him for a soft kiss.

"Bath and sleep?" He asked.

"Yes, please!"


	37. Awful way to end a sinful night

"Come on, Ana, we're going to be late," I heard Chester talking from the living room. 

I was locked in my bedroom after taking a long shower. That night we were going to have fun with Chester's friends at David's bar inauguration. Special seats were reserved for us as if we were some kind of V.I.P. and because of me, we were really getting late. I'm usually quick when I want to get dressed for a party, but that night, I decided to wear the dress that I ended up buying a few weeks ago when I went shopping with Nikki. I knew Chester would like it, and I fell in love with it as soon as I tried it on.

Red was always my color and when I showed up in the living room where Chester was impatiently waiting, I knew that I hit the jackpot.

"You -- wow -- I - I. Jesus," he stammered, ending up walking to me. As soon as he laid eyes on me, his body warmed up and he had this urge to touch me.

His hands landed on my waist, pulling me to him.

"You look beautiful as fuck!" Chester managed to say it but didn't give me any chance to reply since he smashed his lips against mine fiercely and passionately.

My hands wandered his back, feeling his muscles under the thin fabric of his black shirt that embraced his body so well. Chester had me slowly pinned against the wall on the side of my bedroom's door and I was sure that he had my raven hair all messed up by how wildly he was grabbing it and pulling it.

Chester's hips ground against me, but it wasn't enough for him. He lifted me and placed me on top of the counter in the kitchen area, where he was able to fit between my legs and finally make me feel how he did enjoy that dress.

His lips left mine and he attacked my neck, slowly going down to my cleavage.

"Chester..." I muttered, trying to warn in him that we really needed to get going.

He didn't reply. Instead, his hands ran up my tight, grazing my underwear. I stopped him from going further down my chest and pulled his hair back, exposing his neck to me. My lips made sure he shivered in anticipation, by sucking his skin hard, barely leaving a mark to make sure everyone knew he was mine, but at the same time, my hand traveled down his body, teasing him until it landed on his shaft. He trembled and moaned with his hoarse voice saying my name, a sound that makes my most innocent dreams become erotic just by hearing it. That sound seemed like it was made by heaven and hell at the same time. A heavenly sound that had the most wicked and sensual intention behind it.

Then, when I finally stroked him over his pants, I pushed him away and jumped out of the counter, fixing my dress.

"We really, really need to go. Otherwise, we're not going to get there on time," I said. "I don't think we'd even leave."

"Are you kidding me?"

"What?" I asked innocently. "You'll have to wait for after the party when we return home."

I walked to the door to leave, swinging my hips a little more dramatically because I knew Chester would be just staring at it. What I didn't see was how dark his eyes were turning, that bright and wild gleam that gets over his sweet and pure brown eyes and turns them into lustful glances that destroy me completely inside. I am weak when he looks at me like that.

He followed me almost immediately, without saying a word.

Occasionally, I caught him looking at my cleavage or at any part of my body, admiring the red dress.

He had to get it together though, we arrived at the bar 5 minutes later. There was a huge queue outside, waiting to get inside, but Chester grabbed my hand and dragged me to the security guard in the entrance, who allowed us to enter immediately.

When we entered, my jaw dropped. The bar was absolutely amazing. They redid the whole bar, giving more space to the dancefloor, but they didn't forget the sitting area, where several couches and small puffs were spread to allow people to sit down, have a drink or two and just talk. That's the part that I like the most in these parties, I've never been a dancing girl.

The guys were at the biggest table at the corner of the bar. 

Brad waved his hand at us and gestured us to sit. They all dragged their asses to give us space.

"So, what do you think?" David asked.

"Good work, D.," Chester said. "It's really nice."

"Yeah, I like it, I really do," I said.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm fucking tired, but I managed to get it ready on time," David said.

"Yeah, you're welcome!" Rob said, making David rolling his eyes.

I looked at Rob and narrowed my eyes, smiling when they started arguing. Apparently, there was a license that was late and it wouldn't be handed to David on time to the opening night. But Rob knows some people in the city hall and managed to get it ready on time. Obviously, David thanked him, but Rob wants a fucking pedestal in the middle of the dancefloor to honor his _hard work and his valuable help_.

Chester, on the other hand, still had a rigid posture and a serious expression on his face. 

He barely talked through the night. When Rob and his wife left to dance and David tagged along, few people remained on the table.

I faked the most innocent smile plastered along my face while my hand gently and teasingly caressed Chester's tight through his black jeans. At first, it started with a weak rub on his knee, slowly growing to a more intense caress, going up to his tight. My fingers barely grazed the part of his jeans where his balls were, which made him snort a little, disguising it with a cough when his friends turned their heads at him.

Chester glared at me when the guys ignored his behavior and I showed him a lamblike smile.

His hand shove mines away and traveled under my dress without even asking for permission. He pulled my underwear to one side and felt how soaking wet I was. Quietly, he bit his lower lip, but it didn't stop him from penetrating me with his finger, in a slow and painfully pleasant motion. He finger fucked me under the table but no one noticed because the table, our jackets, and my purse were covering us enough.

I cleared my throat, feeling his slick fingers touching me so good. I moved in my seat, trying to help him go deeper. But instead of letting him continue his sinful act, I shove his hand away as he did to mine, crossed my legs and slowly and sensually, pulled my hair to the other side, exposing my neck and my cleavage to him.

His eyes were glued to that exposed skin, holding himself with all the strength in the world. He wanted to bite that skin so badly, but there were too many people in that bar. Still, it made him insane how I was teasing him that way, it was getting too unbearable for him to keep his cool in the middle of the guys. He was panting, sweating, feeling his blood pulsating through his veins, converging to one single throbbing point: his cock.

Chester got up suddenly, discreetly covering his bulge and excused himself. Then, he grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him without a word.

He had to get out of there with me. The street would be cold and crowded, anyone could see, even if he took me to that dark alley behind the bar. No, it was too dangerous.

His eyes scanned the room.

"Chester, what are you doing?" I asked, furrowing my brows.

He didn't even answer. His eyes landed on a closed-door on the corner of the bar. He pushed me behind him through the crowd of people dancing. Everyone was having too much fun that no one noticed when he opened the empty women's bathroom door and walked with me inside, choosing the last cubicle and closing both of us inside.

"You think you're funny? You're a fucking tease, and I'm sure I showed you before what teasers like you get," he said, pulling me against the wall of the bathroom.

"And what are you going to do about it?" I asked with a devilish smirk on my lips, a raised brow and an energizing flow running through my body.

Chester smirked and his hands left my body immediately, going down to his pants. He unzipped them, pulled them down along with his dark-green boxers and exposed his erection to me. 

"On your knees... _Princess_."

My smile faded away, showing my lustful expression, but I complied immediately, sliding down to my knees without taking my eyes off him. He dissolved into a groan when I took him in my mouth, pressing my lips around him and sucking him slowly from the tip to the bottom. Chester's fingers tangled in my hair, but he didn't force my head, keeping his hand there following the movement as I bobbed him.

My tongue was skilled in all the areas of his weaknesses, licking his tip fiercely, and swallowing all his length, gazing up at him and holding it in his eyes until he breathed unevenly at the sight before him.

"Fuck..." he muttered, hitting the back of his head intentionally against the wall behind him.

I teased him, returning to sucking only the tip of his cock. He growled in response, held my head firmly in place and thrust into my mouth. My moan sent him pleasant reverberations but I stood still, allowing him to fuck my mouth with a sequence of hard thrusts until I pulled back for air, looked up at him with my eyes shining at him and my lips swollen.

I reached for his balls and cupped them, massaging them in a way that I know he adores. My lips returned to his cock and I found a rhythm on my own, without his help, sinking him further inside of me. Chester rolled his eyes back when he felt my tongue swirling, burning him inside until he felt that familiar sensation of tightening just before his peak. He couldn't hold it any longer, so he grabbed my head and thrust harder, his cock hitting the back of my throat. We heard people coming to the bathroom, but the sound of the music muffled the sounds coming from our cubicle, motivating Chester to continue.

He met his release soon, shooting it down my throat, filling my mouth and dribbling out over my lips. For a second I almost gagged, but I continued to work my tongue slowly, lessening the chocking sensation.

Chester trembled above me, sharing his seed until the last drop, ending in a panting mess. His forehead rested against the wall above me and gasped when I removed my mouth from his cock.

None of us dared to speak. Well, I still had his juice on my mouth, so I wanted to get out of there. I opened the door, peeking outside and when the bathroom was clear, I rushed to the sink to rinse my mouth. Chester didn't come out of the cubicle, he was still gathering forces, but I tried to brush my hair with my fingers and clear the smudged makeup to look like we were two innocent little kittens that would never do something as sinful as what we just did.

I returned to Chester's side and smiled when I saw that he didn't move an inch.

With toilette paper, I cleaned his dripping cock, making him flinch at the touch. I pulled his boxers and his pants up, helping him to undo the mess we made.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

He nodded his head.

"More than ok."

He pulled me to kiss me, ignoring his taste on my tongue. He pushed me against the wall and devoured my lips, his hands tangled in my hair. I moaned in his mouth and pressed my hips against his.

"Someone's hungry too," he muttered between kisses.

I smirked and gave him one last peck.

"I'll come out first and make sure no one comes inside. You come out a few moments later, ok?" I said, rushing to the door, blood still running inside of me due to the adrenaline.

When I reached outside, I leaned against a wall near the bathroom and waited for Chester. My eyes scanned the room to check if someone was aware of our activity in the bathroom, but no one even looked my way. Soon after, Chester came out of the bathroom, his cheeks still redden and burning, slightly panting, but he was calmer now.

"Hi," he said shyly. "Want a drink?"

"Sure," I said, following him to the bar.

I asked for Vodka with lemon juice and Chester asked for a Cola. I really needed something stronger to clean that taste out of my mouth and the smell. The barman exaggerated the amount of alcohol he poured in my drink, but I didn't mind, the rush of the blowjob in a bathroom and alcohol were truly an explosive combination.

Chester told me that we could join his friends again and I walked in front of him, back to the table. But when I went through all the crowed dancing, I froze. Mike was there, talking to the guys.

I turned around to hide Chester.

"Mike's here. Let's go," I said, but it was too late.

"I thought you'd be smarter, dove. I really did." Mike's voice was heard behind us. He had to yell above the loud music but we heard him well enough. "Even after knowing what happened, you're still around."

"Go away, Mike. Leave her alone," Chester replied, his eyes filled with fear.

"I was not talking to you, murderer," Mike said, causing me to snap.

"Get the fuck out of my sight, or I'm going to fill a complaint for harassment, and stalking. I swear, Mike. I'm really sorry for what happened to you, but just get the fuck out of our lives," I grabbed Chester's hand and pulled him away.

I saw Mike walking behind us, but the rest of the guys stepped in front of him, stopping him from going after us.

The night had come to an official end, Mike blew up everything. I walked to my car and get to the driving seat, waiting for Chester to get in too. When I saw him safe and sound, I drove quietly, knowing that a good amount of thoughts must be going through his mind. When he's like that, there's nothing I can do to make it better. So, I drove back home quietly, gently resting my hand on his knee and stroking it with my thumb.

Soon after, his hand met mine and we intertwined our fingers, a silent gesture that said a lot. We slept together that night, me holding him in my arms, stroking his hair until I felt him relax and finally fall asleep, cursing the world for being so unfair to that wonderful man that I am lucky enough to have in my life, and deciding that something must be done to end this misery. I closed my eyes at last, after a deep sigh of desperation and a tear stroll down my cheek.

I noticed how he was affected by that unpleasant encounter. For the next days, he was strange, sulking, barely talking or even touching me. After a few days, he was back to normal. But every time Mike returned to disturb our lives, he'd go back to the depressing person he was. He didn't even need to talk to us, seeing him across a street or in the shopping center would be enough to trigger Chester. And even though he improved in the following months, Mike would be the ghost haunting him forever.


	38. Determination to make it better

The rest of that year went by without any further grave incidents.

Chester was going to the physiologist less frequently, and he was improving his mental health every day. Obviously, he is not 100% alright. He has a long, long way to go, and he still has those bad moments were he stays depressed. Now, the main difference is that Chester learned to come to me whenever he's feeling like shit. He knocks on my door, or he just hugs me tightly if his mind is fucking up his mood.

Once, he called me at 4 A.M. because he had a nightmare about Mia. I knocked on his apartment's door and once he opened, I went to his bed, talking to him until he was able to fall asleep again.

Another time, he called me while he was in his office at the university. He has been there the whole day, reading and correcting student's works and his mind was playing tricks on him. He told me that his thoughts were getting the best of him and he was getting anxious about them. 

I skipped classes that day and asked him to meet me in the parking lot. We drove away, randomly and we had the radio playing loud songs that kept us entertained singing them aloud.

There were several moments like that, but most of the time he was doing alright. It was noticeable how he was changing slowly, even in the smallest things like the color of his clothes and the smile on his face in the morning when he wakes up by my side.

He even spent the last Christmas with me and my family, and I noticed how he often had his eyes filled with tears threatening to betray him. He felt so well and I saw how he missed having a family, like mine. It broke my heart knowing that there was nothing I could do to help him get back to his family for good.

New Year's Eve was celebrated with Rene and her husband back in Phoenix and it was the best New Year's party I had in years.

When Spring began, Chester received a call from Rene, telling him that she and Richard were going to move out, and they would live near us, just a distance of 10 minutes of walking from our building. And she was inviting us to have dinner in her new home in the next weekend.

When we arrived at her house, I almost felt jealous of the tiny garden she had in the front yard. She had bought a small but beautiful white house, with a little garden covered by grass and some plants that would need some attention. Inside it was a humble house that they transformed into a lovely and cozy place to live and to even raise children.

"I was transferred to another precinct and Richard thought it would be better if we sell our old house and buy a new one, closer to my workplace and to you," Rene explained while we sat at her dining table.

"That's nice," I said, but I heard Chester groaning.

"She's going to be a pain in the ass... even more," he said.

"Don't pretend like you're not happy for your sister moving closer to you," I said, rolling my eyes.

"She's lucky that I like her food," he joked, attacking the food on his plate. He was right though, Rene is an excellent cooker and the whole meal, including the delicious chocolate cake she made for dessert, proved it. 

When we finished our food, Richard begged for coffee and Rene made me go with her to the kitchen. She looked like she wanted to talk about something, but since Chester and Richard were around us though all the diner, she didn't have an opportunity to do so. Since Richard asked for the coffee, she saw that as an excuse to drag me with her to the kitchen, where she could talk to me quietly.

We walked silently to the kitchen, closing the door behind us.

"I've been meaning to ask you if Mike is still stalking Chester and you," she asked in a hushed tone. She didn't want him to listen to our conversation or to feel like he still needs to be protected the whole time.

"Uh, sometimes. He stopped for a while, mainly because we've been so busy that we barely go out, but whenever he sees us..." I bit my lower lip, remembering the last time we crossed paths with him, during a walk at night. It was a month ago, more or less. Chester is getting better every day, but every time Mike decides to torment our lives, he sulks and stops talking for a whole day, going back to his depressive mood. That time, it was so bad, that he didn't even go to work, locked himself in his apartment, didn't return my calls or ate anything until I convince him to open his door for me at midnight.

Rene nodded her head, disappointment across her face, but also a feeling of powerless since she didn't know how to help her brother getting rid of Mike. Police were out of the question since Chester was against it, so there was nothing much she could do.

"But is he really better?" She asked. Even though she clearly saw a difference ever since I entered their lives, she needed to hear it out loud.

"Yeah, I think he is," I said, hearing a sigh of relief coming out of her mouth and a _thank God_ mutter. "I just can't understand why the hell Mike doesn't just fuck off. I don't know why he keeps doing these things. What does he expect? I'm not leaving Chester, so he failed on making his life miserable."

Rene sighed and turned around to turn on the coffee machine.

"I don't know... At this point, I don't think he is the same Mike that I met years ago... He's blind for revenge, but I don't think he also knows what he intends with it. He blames Chester because he can't blame the person responsible for her death, so, there's that..."

I furrowed my brows.

"What do you mean? The person responsible? Was there anyone responsible???"

She looked at me in confusion.

"Chester didn't tell you? There was a journal, her journal. Where she wrote everything that happened to her, either about her friends, her family problems or her love life."

"Yeah, Chester about that journal once... They used it to prove Chester had nothing to do with her suicide... But he told me nothing about someone to blame, besides himself..."

Rene nodded her head, a sad smile appearing on her face. Chester still held information from me.

"She went through some shitty stuff that no one knew about. She... she was abused by a senior and... well... that's when all started going down."

I sat in a chair slowly, supporting my face with my hands, my elbows on the table, trying to process what Rene said. She was raped? And no one knew? Why the hell didn't Chester just tell me that?

"How -- why the hell Mike blames Chester, then?"

"Because the guy who raped her was found dead after the police found out about her journal. Overdosed himself. And I guess Mike tried to find someone who put the blame on..."

"Doesn't he know about her journal? Haven't he read it???"

"I don't know... I mean, he must know surely, but he ran away when the police and his parents tried to clear Chester of all charges. He ran away from home and never returned... That destroyed his parents. But I can't tell you for sure if he even knew about all the was written in her journal."

"I can imagine the pain his parents must feel..." They already lost a daughter, and since Mike left, I guess they lost all their children. That would have destroyed anyone. "Would it help if he read the journal?"

"I don't know... I mean, it did had a lot of good things about Chester... Mia loved him, so she wrote a lot of good things about him... It could help Mike move on, but... I don't know if that's a good idea." She said, interrupting me when I was about to speak. "Besides, I don't know who has it, if it's the police or his parents."

"There's only one way to found out," I smirked and she nodded her head.

"Hm, no, hell no. I don't have the balls to do that. Not after everything that happened..."

I gulped, looking at her while she prepared our coffees. She turned around to hide how the tears flooded her eyes unexpectedly. 

"Do you have their address?" She looked at me and nodded her head. "Good, give it to me. I'll go there. When I have free time and gather the courage, I'll just... prepare a speech or whatever and convince them to give me everything they have."

"I don't know..." She hesitated, not knowing what would be her brother's reaction if he knew about that. "I'll search their actual address and when I find out, I'll send it to you."

"Ok, thanks... And Chester can't know..."

"Obviously, he'd kill me and he'd kill you for sure."

"Who would kill who?" Both of us jumped back when we heard Chester's voice in the kitchen. My only hope was that he wasn't able to hear what we were talking about, because I knew for sure that wouldn't end well. I know he'd simply say that he doesn't want to bother Mike's parents because they have suffered enough already. But they will continue suffering if Mike keeps chasing Chester and doesn't come back to them.

I cleared my throat and Rene became pale.

"You were taking too long to bring those coffees. What the hell were you doing?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but Rene beat me to it.

"Searching the orphanage from which you were adopted so that I could parcel you to them! Get out of my kitchen, we'll be done in a minute," Chester was taken aback by her bold response and raised his hands in the air, turning around to leave. "Damn these men, we can't even have a girls' talk properly."

I laughed at her words and smiled at her when she finished preparing the coffee.

When we returned to the living room, Chester and Richard were already waiting for us in front of the T.V., both of them glued to some kind of action movie with Steven Seagal as the main character. Rene handed them their coffees and sat with me in the dining table.

Chester was about to drink his coffee but turned his head around.

"Rene, you didn't put poison in here, did you?"

She rolled her eyes.

"I forgot, I'm sorry."

The rest of the night was peaceful and enjoyable, Rene and Chester's relationship is improving every day. They are amazing together, always playing with each other, telling jokes and fighting about the stupidest things that make you cry for laughing so hard.

If I was able to get everything I need to convince Mike to let Chester alone, Chester would definitely improve his mental health, so it was worth a try. Even if it's too much for Mike's parents. I have to try for Chester.

And, obviously, I want one thing at a time, but I think it would be even better if somehow I'd be able to make Chester speak to his own parents and make amends. At least, try to make things better. He talks about them as if he doesn't need them in his life, but I know he is not being true. I know that, even though they hurt him too much, he wants their acceptance and their love. And if I could help him find what he wants, if I make his life less heavy with these little things, one at a time, I'd be the happiest woman in the world.

"Baby, do you want to sleep with me tonight?" I asked when I was about to open my apartment door after we returned from Rene's house.

"That sounds good," he said, entering my apartment after me.

"What about a bath first?"

He hugged me by my waist, burying his head in my neck.

"That'd be even better," he said, bitting my skin and making me shiver.

Once the bathtub was ready, we both undressed and sat in the hot water. Chester pulled me to his chest, where I rested my head and finally relaxed my muscles. He ran his fingers through my hair slowly, gently and often placing kisses at the top of my head. 

None of us spoke for a long period of time. We just remained there, feeling the hot water relaxing every inch of our bodies, but inside my head, I had a turmoil of thoughts, about everything that Rene told me and what I intended to do. I wondered if that was the right thing to do, probably it wasn't, but I had to at least try.

"You're oddly quiet," Chester said, while his hand stroked my arm up and down.

I didn't say a word, since my eyes fell on his flaming tattoed wrist, and more precisely, in his vertical scar.

I grabbed his arm and pulled his wrists to me, kissing his scars. I asked him before how did it happen, how did he hit the bottom rock hard and tried to kill himself, but Chester never opened his mouth about it. This time, he simply flinched at first but didn't pull his arm from my grip.

"When I did that, I was living with Rene for half a year... Then she introduced me to Richard and he wanted to help me. I've been his patient since she met him. And when he helped me get my life together, I left her house, thinking that I'd be better alone... Obviously, Rene made me hand her a spare key of the small apartment managed to get, " he looked at his wrists, closing his eyes at the memories of that monstrous night. "And she would visit me, almost every day. That night, Rene went to see me sooner than I expected her. She found me in my empty bathtub with my body covered in blood and some blades on the floor. I barely made it."

Hearing more details about that awful part of his life broke me more than anything else. If Rene wasn't home earlier, she'd found her brother dead. I wonder if I'll ever go through that. What if I misread the signs and Chester was in that dark place again and I'm not able to save him as she did?

"Why are you crying?"

"I just can't imagine you doing that awful thing... I don't want to think about you hurting yourself for being so down... If I --"

"It's over, baby. I'd never try that again," he cupped my cheeks with his wet hands.

"Promise me. I d-don't know what I would do if -- i --if something happens to y..." I started sobbing, hiding my head in his chest.

"I promise, baby. I promise you... Please don't cry."

"The idea of losing you it's... it's suffocating... It makes me want to be with you all the time to make sure nothing ever happens to you."

"Sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere..."

"Oh God -- What if Mike decides to do something? What if he hurts you?" I looked at him, a terrified look in my eyes making him shake to his core.

"I don't think he'll ever do anything physically. He's all about fucking up my mind, more than it already is."

"What if he becomes dangerous? There's a thin line between psychological and physical abuse, ya know? Maybe we should tell the police. Your sister, she -- "

"No! No police. Mike's life is already destroyed because of me. I don't want it to be worse. He already has enough reasons to hate me."

"It's not your fault, for fuck's sake. He is doing this to himself!" I protested, feeling angry about this stupid idea that just because he tried to push Mia away not to get in trouble Mike, was enough reason for her to get herself killed. She chose that night to kill herself because she was drunk and everything she felt, every pain and every memory, were intensified. She was in pain because someone destroyed her innocence, and then she felt all alone as she saw her family torn apart. Why the hell no one sees that?

"It is my fault," Chester whispered a tone of true belief behind his voice that made me even angrier about this whole situation and more determined to go ahead with my idea of talking to Mike's parents.

I rolled my eyes and got out of the water. Chester furrowed his brows.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to sleep. I'm tired," I rolled a towel around me and got out of the bathroom, my head spinning with numerous thoughts.


	39. Secret plans and changes

The next day, I woke up first. Chester was so peacefully asleep, his stomach was covered by my sheets and exposing his shirtless torso that made me bite my lower lip.

Then, last night's conversation with Rene and the moments in the bathtub before sleeping flooded my mind and I really needed to get away from him. I needed to get fresh air and clear my mind. I needed to think properly about what I was going to do, or what I was going to say to Mike's parents.

_Hello, I know your daughter is dead and you haven't seen your son in ages, but I really need you to give me a copy of her journal so that your disappeared son leaves my fucking boyfriend alone._

I had no idea what I was going to say to them without reopening wounds or making them mad at me. The thing that terrified the most was the fact they could even call Chester and tell him I was there, meddling with businesses that weren't mine to meddle with.

A good morning run was enough to keep my mind focused and come up with good ideas. I know they loved Chester as a son before Mia's death and I know they would never want him to suffer the way he did. Of course, they blamed him at first, especially after what Mike told them about her humiliation in front of everyone at the party. But when they heard Chester's side of the story and read Mia's journal, weeks after it happened, they felt even more terrible. They begged him for forgiveness, but he wasn't capable of doing that. He wasn't capable of even feeling any pain anymore, not after everything they put him through: the beatings, the threats, and the wicked words that scarred him for life. I knew they would understand why I wanted to do this, why I needed them to help him. But I knew I needed to speak from my heart to get to theirs.

I also didn't know if Mike knew the truth, or if they even know where he is at the moment, or what he has been doing over the years. And that is why it was such a sensitive subject to talk about with someone you simply never saw in your life.

When I arrived home one hour later, the apartment was quiet. I thought that maybe Chester was still asleep or that he had left. But he was still in my bedroom, just not sleeping. 

He replayed last night moment's in his head, but he didn't understand exactly why I was mad at him. Surely I was mad, otherwise, I wouldn't leave him alone in the bathroom before going to sleep. After going back to my room last night, I put on my pajamas and hopped up to my bed. Chester leaned back in the bathtub, confused and lost. He really didn't get it then and he surely didn't get it that morning.

He knows that I hate when he talks about Mia's death being his fault, but he knew there was more in my mind. He didn't say anything hurtful so he was sure there was more than that.

When I opened my bedroom door, he was laying in my bed, leaning against his pillow, his arms up with his hands behind his head and he was staring at the ceiling, lost in his thoughts.

"Good morning," I said quietly.

He looked at me, raising his head from his pillow and narrowing his shiny dark eyes. The sheets were below his navel level and he looked absolutely heavenly, exposing his tattoos and his six-pack that melts me to my core.

He noticed how my eyes traveled up and down and how I looked away, my cheeks burning slightly at that godly sight.

I was wearing tight leggings, a sports bra, and a simple cropped top that made my ass pop out, and just because he had that vision in front of him, he immediately felt himself burning inside. He was used to having me every single day of the week under him, but the previous day we were busy and had no time to even kiss properly. He found it stupid how his body ached for me even if a single day passes without having a taste.

"Good morning," he simply said, clearing his throat as he tried to quiet his wild thoughts.

I took off my top, ready to get a bath and clean the sweat, but Chester wasn't able to resist his lustful urges anymore. So, he jumped out of bed and pinned me against the bathroom door, making me yelp.

"Are you mad at me or something?" He asked, staring down at my surprised look.

"N-n-no, why?"

"You look like it, since our conversation last night."

"I was just tired, Chester, I needed to get some sleep."

He looked at me, not believing in my excuse. He pressed his body against mine when I tried to move away, making me feel how _eager _he was to see me. He loved how exercise clothes fit my tiny body. And that front zipper of my sports bra was simply irresistible for him. I planted a kiss on his lips, intending it to be a quick peck, but once I felt his lips, I turned it into a deep and passionate kiss, my hands pulling his soft messy hair just enough to make him moan. His hand traveled to my breasts, pulling down the zipper he was so eager about.

"I need a bath," I said between kisses, dragging our bodies to the bathroom.

"Me too. Can I join?" He asked, showing me his not-so-innocent-at-all look. 

"Why do I predict that we are going to need a shower after this shower?" I asked playfully, taking off all of my clothes to a much delighted Chester.

"Because you are right," he replied, pushing me again against the wall inside of the bathroom, pulling me to his lap, straddling my legs around him. His hands were supporting my weight, by grabbing my ass and squeezing it. Then, he slapped me hard in the ass.

"What was that for?" I asked, my skin burning where he spanked me.

"For lying to me. You were bothered by something last night," he said. "Don't lie to me."

"Ok. Don't hit me then," I pouted.

"I thought you liked it," he said playfully, while the hot water was running in the bathtub.

I rolled my eyes, getting down from his lap and went to the mirror to release my hair from the bun it was trapped in and brush it with a comb to untangle it. Chester approached from behind and hugged me, burying his head in my neck.

"What are you going to do today?" He asked.

"I don't know, maybe study. I have nothing scheduled," I said. "Why?"

"I have to go to lunch with Rob. His wife is out for some kind of medical convention and he asked me to join him. But I was hoping I could bring dinner for us and probably even sleep with you in my arms again," he said with a sweet voice that melted my heart. 

I looked at him through the mirror.

"I can make your favorite food for dinner," I smiled warmly at him. "And you can sleep here with me."

"Why do I spend most of my time here? My apartment is basically empty all the time," he said.

Then, he turned to close the hot water and check the temperature.

"Maybe you should move out of your apartment and live here with me," I said in a playful manner but realizing that I actually meant it.

Chester turned around and chuckled, pulling me to the bathtub with him. The hot water made me shiver, but it was so pleasant that I even moaned. We relaxed, as usual, me sitting between his legs, my back resting against his shoulder. 

"I know you're joking, but it wouldn't be the worst idea you had," he said, laughing while he massaged my shoulders, slowly and in a painfully good motion.

"Who said that I was just joking?"

Chester stopped his massage and his laughter ceased. I turned to him with my eyes wide open, expecting him to understand what I was trying to say. I can't even believe that I was telling him to move in with me. Deep inside I was screaming and cursing myself because Chester didn't speak for a long time. He just stared at me and my only thought was that he was planning on how to tell me to fuck off in a polite way without hurting my feelings.

I bit my lower lip, my heart beating too fast inside of my chest.

Eventually, his hand reached for my cheek and his thumb stroked it lovingly.

"I'd be the happiest man in the world if you were not joking."

"I wasn't," I said, panting, voice breaking in that overwhelming moment. "I really wasn't joking."

Chester nodded his head and pulled me to a kiss without saying a word. He pulled me by placing his hand in the back of my head, but he didn't press his lips immediately - he let them linger there for a while, feeling my warm breathing on him. Before he finally swept me off my feet, he sent me to a wave of pure bliss with his words.

"I'd love to move in with you. Hold you in my arms every night is something that I dream about when I'm not with you."

"That's settled then," I said between kisses. "You're moving in with me."

Chester nodded his head, smiling but not stopping his pecks on my lips.

"You're the best thing that happened to me," Chester said.

"And you to me, Chester, truly..." I admitted, my mind traveling away to a most bothering thought. Chester caught that change of humor.

"We can wait until you're ready if you don't want to do it right away," he said, thinking that probably I was regretting that decision. 

Widening my eyes at him, I cupped his cheeks.

"No, are you mad? I want to start moving your things here. One thing at a time, but you're not sleeping away from me not even for one night."

"Then, why that face?" He asked, making me gulp and look away.

"There's one condition for me," I said.

"Anything for you, baby," Chester said, expectation behind his voice but also worry.

"Get rid of that gun on your drawers... I don't want it in our house."

Chester's expression became blank, his smile dropped, but he never stopped looking at me.

"But, Ana, it's just in case--"

"I know. But just the thought of having it bothers me..." I said, looking at his brown eyes and then at his chest. Chester's fingers caressed my face, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, then he made me look up at him.

"Hey..." I looked at him in the eyes. "I just needed to know that I can protect you... But if it scares you that much, I'll get rid of it, I promise."

A weak smile appeared on my lips and Chester kissed the tip of my nose.

"Now, let's finish this bath. We have to start moving my things -- "

"And tell your sister and my parents," I finished.

"Yes, that too," he said. "Your father is going to kill me."

"Nah, I think he loves you."

"Not when he realizes I'm fucking his daughter, and now I'll be able to fuck her whenever I want."

I started shocked at his words.

"You can fuck me whenever you want," I admitted.

"I know. But he doesn't."

*** 

When I told Rene that we were going to move in together, she was thrilled and just kept crying over the phone. The few things we understood from her whining were _thank you_, _take care of her you fucker _and _you don't know how lucky you are for having that woman._

When I told Nanna that we were going to move in together, she sounded happy but my mother, who was by her side, snatched the phone off her hand and talked.

"What? He's moving in with you?"

She didn't sound mad, just surprised. For a moment, I thought she was going to go back to her old self, complain about how he is not right for me, but the fact is that she has been treating him differently since I brought him home for the first time. And several occasions when we spent the weekend there with them, she treated him like she treats her family. So, I didn't understand her tone until she continued rambling.

"Do you need anything? Food, cutlery, tableware, new bedroom furniture?" I opened my mouth to speak, but she continued. "We -- we should have dinner to celebrate! We can go to Phoenix and order food, and --"

"Mom," I tried to speak but she didn't let me. So I just closed my mouth and tried not to laugh with Chester while she talked.

"I'm getting old. I'm getting so old. My first-born is moving in with her boyfriend. How did the years pass? In no time, I'm going to be a grandmother and I'd be old, like my mother,"

"HEY!" I heard Nanna protesting.

"Hey!!!" I protested too. "Hold your horses! I'm too young to give you grandchildren. Don't scare my boyfriend away, please."

Chester covered his mouth not to be heard laughing, but he had to move away because he wasn't able to control himself. I wasn't able to control myself, but I turned off the speaker and talk to my mother more privately. Chester sat on the window frame and stared at me, with a stunned look in his eyes while he observed my happy smile.

He clearly turned his life upside down for a single person that came to his life out of nowhere.

And that smile I wore, made him sure of his decision every day.

I continued talking to my mother, absent of Chester's stare. He was deeply lost in his thoughts but all of them were happily related to me.

When I finally hung up the phone, I noticed how Chester was in some kind of trance and that he didn't even realize that I was walking to him.

"My mother didn't scare you, did she?"

"No, not at all. I think she was pretty happy about it," he stated.

I nodded my head and turned around to continue my work. We were finishing moving his things from his apartment to mine. There were a lot of things that he didn't want to keep. According to him, lots of stuff has memories attached to them - _bad memories _\- and he wanted to leave them behind.

Chester stopped me from walking away to continue our work, pulling me back to him.

"Maybe we can take a break," he said. 

"We already took a break to call our families," I stated.

"Another kind of break," he said in a suggestive tone that made me shiver. I closed my eyes when his lips touched my neck, kissing it a sucking very gently. He didn't waste any time. He let his hand get inside my pants and underwear, his fingers teasing my clit. I released a moan, feeling my panties get all wet as he worked his way down, to meet my slit. It was his time to moan when he felt how slippery I was for him.

He curled his fingers up and worked his hand in a quick pace, the squishing sound echoing through the living room. He raised his speed, which made me moan louder, and he quieted me by devouring my lips passionately. Curling his finger, even more, he searched for that sweet spot he knows I love and intensified his movement.

"I'm..." I said, not being able to finish my sentence.

"You're... you're what, baby girl?" He bit my neck and sucked my earlobe, whispering in my ear at the same time. "Tell me what you want."

"Don't stop, _fuck_, don't stop," I whimpered, feeling my body burning and aching for release. That heavy and electrifying sensation in my lower core warning me that I was at the edge of my orgasm. When he used his thumb to touch my clit, my legs almost gave in as the muscles started to shake. I moaned louder against his cheek and whined out as he finger-fucked me harder to send me over the edge. The blood in my veins swirled faster, making my head spin and my heart beating even faster inside my chest. When I reached climax it felt like a wave of relief and decompression that struck me like lightning striking a tree.

My body went limp as he slowed down his pace and he even needed to hold tightly to stop me from falling. But it wasn't enough for him.

Without giving me time to recover, he picked me up, bride-style, and took me to _our _bedroom.

Chester let me fall in the mattress, quickly topping me with his body after taking off his t-shirt. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine, his hand curving around my neck as he kissed me deeply.

His knees bumped my legs apart, and he fit his body between them, his other hand unbuttoning his pants to release his throbbing cock. He rubbed himself against my core, but he was too impatient, so he pulled away from the kiss and took off my pants and underwear completely. 

When he was aligned with my entrance, he shoved inside of me without warning. I gasped and cried out as he rammed his cock into me with no sign of slowing down. My quiet moans and pleas for him turned into loud moans that echoed through the walls. Still recovering from the previous orgasm, I could feel my walls clenching around him, that burning sensation in my core showing up once again.

When I came again, he slowed down, watching me whimper and shudder underneath his body.

"Easy," he said. "Easy, princess... We're not done yet."

His dark lustful eyes made me shiver even more in anticipation.

Then, he resumed his quickened pace, thrusting his hips against me with no mercy. This time, he was the one moaning and trembling, telling me that he was near his orgasm too. And watching as he was enjoying himself, how his eyes were locked in mine, I wanted to come at the same time. I needed to feel him release inside of at the same time I soak him with my own juice.

But I failed. I came before him. And this time, Chester didn't stop. He kept pounding hard into me as I whimpered and my body shook uncontrollably, his moans and hardening cock anticipating his release.

When he pulled his body up and grabbed the sheets for better support, he intensified his pace, released his warm seed inside of me and groaned, tilting his head back.

"_Fuck_", he muttered, panting and sweating.

He collapsed on top of me, burying his head in the crook of my neck, his warm breathing causing me goosebumps all over my skin.

"Shower?" He asked, his sultry hoarse voice barely audible.

"Definitely. I'm exhausted," we have been moving his things since that Sunday morning. Chester will need to turn his key to the owner of the building and take care of a few things, but that was our first night together in _our _home.

When I finally felt the pillow under my head, I fell asleep almost immediately. My last thoughts were about this big change in my life. Living with my boyfriend, pursuing my dream career, and working part-time in a place I truly enjoy, what else could I ask for? There was one thing troubling my mind, though. _Mike_.

Rene texted me a few days ago with his parents' address. They lived near but I still needed time to talk to them, and Chester cannot know about it. 

So, the next day, I said that I was going to run in the early morning and when I'd return home to go to classes, Chester would already be at university. It was the perfect excuse because I use to go for a run in the morning when I feel like it. And Chester didn't even ask anything, because he was still half asleep when I left.

Then, in painful silence, with the mute radio of my car, I drove to the address Rene gave me.

For a moment, I thought about giving up, but when my mind flew back to Chester, I stepped out of the car and walked to the front door.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door and prayed for the best.


	40. Plan in action

"Good morning," a Japanese-American woman greeted me with the main door of her house slightly opened.

"Uh -- Hi, hi, ma'am. My name is Ana. I really need to talk to you and your husband."

She furrowed her brows at me and for a moment she even speculated that I was another journalist, asking for an interview about their daughter's death. When it happened, they showed up everything, stepping on their open wounds, asking inopportune and painful memories about their daughter. The first time they read what they wrote about Mia's death, they said she was drunk and drugged and fell on the pool. Others said she was pushed to the water. There were other news articles where they dug deep into Mia's life and exposed everything about her. They even wrote about Chester and how he was the one responsible for her death. The police had to intervene several times. They would trespass their house to get a photo, a reaction, anything to feed the curiosity of the readers. Mr. Shinnoda almost killed a reporter that snuck into their house to take photos of Mia's room. They were that evil.

Those kinds of people haven't been around for some years, but they always come back for more juice in the story. It has been less frequent, but still, they always come back.

"I'm Chester Bennington's girlfriend. And I really, really need to talk to you about your son, Mike." I said, making her widen her eyes, which became teary almost instantly. A desperation tone took over my voice as I told her: "I need your help. Chester needs your help."

Mrs. Shinnoda eventually allowed me to get inside and called for her husband who was cutting the grass of the back yard. She must have told him why I was there and who I was since he was pale as a wall.

Before I knew it, I was in the living room, sitting on their brown couch, with a tea in my hand and two sets of dark brown eyes staring at me expectantly. 

I thought they would be unfriendly about the subject, about a stranger invade their lives and ask questions about their son and about their daughter's death. The truth is that I liked them as soon as they started speaking, considering the first thing they wanted to know was how Chester was going and if his life was good.

I looked down at my tea mug, not knowing how to properly answer their question, and they understood that he wasn't doing as well as they hoped. Discerning their anxiety, I raised my eyes at them and told them the whole truth.

"Chester is healing, slowly. Until I showed up in his life, he was... I don't know -- lost? He was in a dark place... a very dark place and -- and he even tried to commit suicide twice over the last few years."

Mr. and Mrs. Shinnoda both gasped, clutching to each other for comfort.

"He is getting the help he needs... and he has me now, so..." I gulped, getting lost in my train of thoughts. "The point is: when I met him, I knew he had a dark past. I tried to help him because I never saw anyone like him before and whatever happened, he didn't deserve to live like that... I mean... he has such a good heart, and so many horrible things happened to him... It was painful to watch him... After, uh -- after Mia, he was so, so lost... For years he knew nothing but drugs and alcohol and parties and grief and... and nothing but that deep meaningless void in his heart. I tried my best to help him. I know I changed his life, he is so much happier, so much lighter, and he is getting all the help he can get because he truly wants to get better now. The light I saw in his eyes in the pictures when he was younger is the same light that I can see trying to shine again in him. And he is trying so, so hard."

"I'm really glad to hear that he is doing better and that he is not alone," Mrs. Shinnoda said. She looked at her husband and he squeezed her hand for support. "When Mia died, he was blamed. Mike told us things and obviously, we believed. We were so angry about losing her that we wanted to blame someone. But when we found out the truth, it was too late for Chester... and for M-Mike."

I nodded my head, showing them that I knew the whole story.

"Yes, I know... And Chester doesn't blame you or holds a grudge against you, I can assure you that... But, the truth is that Mike still believes Chester is the one to blame when he isn't... After so many years, he still blames him..."

"We tried to tell him," Mr. Shinnoda said quickly. "We tried to show him the proof. But he kept telling us that he humiliated her in front of everyone. I mean, I understand that the last thing he saw was Chester telling Mia unfriendly things, but... Chester was always so kind and respectful towards Mia... Towards everyone. That is why we liked him like a son."

I smiled weakly at them.

"When Chester finally told me what truly happened, I knew immediately that what happened that night wasn't his fault. She needed to have another trauma to make her feel bad enough to..." I didn't finish because I saw how the couple was trembling. I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to open fresh wounds that probably will never be healed. But I needed to be here. I needed to do something for Chester. Mike has been harassing him, stalking him and threatening both him and, now, me, for years..."

They both gasped at the same time, looking at each other. That moment I realized they had no idea what Mike has been doing... I wondered if they knew anything about their son, like where he lives, where he works, what are his hobbies... I wondered if they talked to him at all...

"I can handle him, very well actually. But Chester... he breaks... one moment he is doing so well, living a happy life, and another moment, when Mike shows up, he just breaks and goes back to that deep darkness that consumes him... Body and soul. And I can't continue watching him in this limbo without doing anything."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Mr. Shinnoda said since his wife was sobbing with her face hidden behind her hands."We can't even talk to him. He just... runs. Since we tried to clear Chester's name, he simply stopped calling us parents. He ran, and when we try to talk to him, he acts like we're not even there..."

"I assumed..." I bit my lower lip, trying not to cry too. "And it was really hard for me to come here to ask you what I need to help Chester. I had your address for quite some time but I never had the courage to actually come here."

"And what do you need from us?" He asked.

"You said Mike never truly saw the proof that told what truly happened to Mia, right?"

They nodded their heads.

"So, he doesn't know. Or at least, you tried to tell him Chester wasn't responsible, but he doesn't believe because he ran before seeing the proof with his own eyes," they nodded their heads again, following my thoughts. "Do you have it? Everything that proved that Chester is innocent and that tells the truth about her? Because if you can give it to me, I swear, I'm going to do anything I can to get your son back to you..."

"I d-don't know," Mrs. Shinnoda said. "He was so troubled when we tried to make him see the truth..."

"Yes, and because of being troubled, Chester has been paying the price. And after everything Chester went through for being innocently blamed for Mia's death, every beating, insult and neglection, you owe it to him. To help him live his life without being constantly afraid that Mike might be around the corner to finally end him. And your own son also needs your help. He needs to know the whole truth and to find himself. He needs to move on, otherwise, he will end up like Mia..." 

"You should --"

"No. You need to gather the courage to face the fact that Mike was never the same after her death and that he is not alright... He is dangerous right now, and I haven't called the cops on him, because Chester doesn't want. But one of these days, if he lays a finger on Chester because he doesn't know the truth, I swear that Chester will be my number one priority and I won't hesitate to make him go to jail... Enough is enough! You lost a daughter, a wonderful young girl for what Chester told me. It's truly sad, and I know you will never recover from that, but it's time to save your son while you can. So," I slowed down, waiting for them to process everything I said. "Are you going to help me help your son and Chester, or are you going to let him go away forever?"

They looked at each other in silence, the pain behind the gleam in their eyes was evident and that is why talking to them was such a hard task.

Without pronouncing a word, Mrs. Shinnoda got up from the couch and went upstairs, a hand on her forehead to try to ease the headache.

_***_

When I returned home, I decided to skip classes that day.

I went to bed, disappeared under the blankets and closed my eyes, trying not to feel the pain in my head. I was studying to become a psychologist, I know that I will have thousands of conversations like that, but the truth is that was such a personal talk that I'd be a monster if I didn't feel ill about it.

Moreover, if Chester knew about it, he would be so mad. So, so mad...

I know Rene would open his eyes eventually and make him see this was the last chance to make it better for Mike, but I am very aware that he wouldn't trust me again so easily. Regardless of that, it was worth it.

Mrs. Shinnoda returned minutes later, with her eyes puffy while she sobbed and asked me to do everything I could to make her Mike go back to her arms again. She gave me everything she could to help me with the task and I ended up with a box filled with stuff, including Mia's private journal and a teddy bear that Mike offered her on her 10th birthday. His parents told me the teddy bear would catch his attention, otherwise, knowing how strong-headed their son is, he'd probably burn everything as soon as he started going through the stuff.

The next step was thinking about how I was going to hand him the box. 

If I went looking for him, things wouldn't probably end well. I know Rene wouldn't want to go either. And Chester shouldn't even know about this until it's done.

I fumbled with my hand in the bedside table, looking for my phone to ask for Rene's help.

When I reached for her number, I put the phone in my ear.

"Hey there, sister," she greeted me.

"Hi," I breathed out. "I talked to Mike's parents. I have everything I need in a box."

"You do??? How -- you are amazing, you know that?" She sounded too happy, but when she noticed how sorrowful I sounded, she sighed. "Was that hard the conversation?"

"Well, I skipped classes today and I'm sulking in the bed, trying to get better for when Chester comes home at the end of the day."

"Oh -- Do you need anything?"

"Actually, yes. Can you get me Rob's number?" 

"Uh -- yes, of course. But, is it related to Mike?"

"Yes," I said, fidgeting with the edge of my green sheets. "I'm asking him to hand everything to Mike himself. I don't think it would be a good idea for any of us to be the one to talk to Mike and give him the box."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right," she agreed. Then she said something to someone who was making her a question and said goodbye to me. "I have to go now, but I'll text you with his number. Don't worry. And thank you, Ana. Thank you for doing this for my brother. He truly is a lucky one."

I smiled at her statement.

"Thank you. See you later," I hung up the call and covered my head with the sheets, closing my eyes to try to get some sleep.

Hours later, I woke up, feeling like shit. I picked up my phone and had a text message from Rene and another from Chester. Rene sent me Rob's phone number and Chester was charming as always.

CHESTER: _How's your day going? Those classes are boring enough?_

I didn't want to lie to him about not going to classes, but I didn't want to tell him the truth about what I did that morning. Biting my lower lip, I forced myself to reply.

ME:_ Well, I don't know, the bed seduced me. And my head hurt, so I decided to sleep today._

Not long after my phone rang. I groaned at the noise... Chester was on the ID, _obviously.   
_

"Hello?" I knew he was going to be worried. The only reason I ever skip classes is when he needs my help because his mind is not at peace and is giving him a hard time.

"Hey, doll..." He said with his sweet voice that can melt any ice block. "How are you feeling? Do you need me to come home?"

I smiled at his worried tone.

"No, baby. I'm fine. Just needed to sleep, I'm feeling much better now. I'm gonna get up and study or something. Don't worry about me," I said.

"Are you sure? You don't usually skip classes, sweetheart," he stated the obvious. "Don't lie to me, do you need me to come home?"

"I promise you I'm fine. I just need to rest for a while, alright? I'll be in bed when you get home," I said, trying to hang up the call.

"Ok. Call me if you need anything, alright?" He said, the tone in his voice telling me that he was truly worried and that if I snap my fingers, he'd leave his work and would come running back home to take care of me.

When I was finally able to hang up the call I buried my head in the middle of the pillows groaning. I hate lying to him or hiding stuff from him. I know it's for a good reason, but I still don't like it. Not. One. Bit.

Later, I used the phone number Rene sent me and texted Rob, asking him to meet me in the muffin's store. He immediately replied and said that he was free at lunch hour, so I had to hurry up to meet him.

I hopped out of bed, my headache giving me a hard time and got dressed with the first set of clothes that I could find. The box was in the trunk of my car, so before walking to the store, I went there to pick it up.

Taking a deep breath when I saw Rob sitting at the table, waiting for me, I opened the door of the muffin's store and the lady in the counter greeted me as soon as she laid her eyes on me.

"No time, no see," she said with a smile on her lips.

"Yeah, I've been a little busy. But I missed these muffins. Can you bring me the hazelnut chocolate one?"

I walked to Rob's table and sat, greeting him with a nervous smile. He immediately noticed that behavior and narrowed his brows, his eyes showing that he was getting worried about whatever reason I wanted to meet him. And especially why I asked him not to tell anyone, particularly not Chester.

I put the box on top of the table.

"I need you to deliver this to Mike," I said at once, noticing how Rob moved uncomfortably in his seat.

"Why? What is it?" He asked, slightly in shock.

"Because I'm tired of his harassment, and I'm tired of seeing Chester going all the way down to the dark hole he was a few years ago, just because Mike doesn't want to face the truth. This is my final option before going to the police. I have witnesses, I, myself, was stalked by him and I am so sick of doing everything to make Chester feel better and make him happy, only for Mike to ruin everything."

"And what's in the box?"

"The truth. Everything about Mia's death. Mike's parents gave it to me. They asked me to bring their son back to them," I said, looking down as tears began to burn my eyes. That conversation wasn't easy, and remembering their expressions of desperation was too overwhelming.

Rob didn't say anything for a while. He seemed like he was processing my words and I decided it was better to give him time and remained quiet.

Eventually, he looked at me, sighing.

"I hope you're right," he said.

"I don't know if I'm right or not, but it's the only chance. It's no one's fault what happened to her, but at the same time, it is everyone's fault. Someone hurt her and she needed help which, she did, for what I know, she did ask for it several times, but no one was listening. However, no one can be blamed because, sometimes, we simply can't see what's right in front of us. Sometimes we don't think things are so bad, and when we acknowledge the gravity of the situation, there's nothing we can do to change them."

"Yeah, I remember some of her behaviors that I found strange... I even told Mike about them. But, I mean, she was a teenager as we were, we all are strange at that age, and we were all so young to understand what was happening to her," he admitted, his eyes looking distant.

"It is sad what happened, she looked like a good girl... But it's no one's fault and we all need to move on now. Chester had suffered enough. And I won't let it continue like this," I stated.

Rob nodded his head and smiled weakly.

"I'll deliver the box. I still need to find out where he lives, but I'll try."

"Please, talk some sense back into him. This has to end, once and for all, before another innocent gets hurt."

"I will try... I don't know when I'm going to able though. I'll leave to Brasil in a few days, for two weeks, because I have a project there, but I'll try to find him and give it to him before."

"Good, thank you," I said, getting ready to leave.

"Thank _you _\-- for helping Chester. You're a good person, Ana. Chester is truly lucky," Rob said and I smiled.

"Everyone keeps saying that, then it must be true," I joked, leaving him in the muffin's store with that box.

Obviously, when Chester returned sooner that day, he found me in bed. He was so worried that he even made me soup and insisted that I continued laying in our bed while he did the dishes. People tell me all the time Chester was lucky for having someone like me, but sometimes, I look at him, at his small gestures, and they don't know... 

They don't know I am the lucky one.


	41. Scary possibilities

When I woke the next morning, I was feeling really sick. My stomach was twisting and I felt lots of nausea. It was really early in the morning, but I decided to eat something to calm down my stomach. So, I hopped out of bed, silently walked to the kitchen and made breakfast for myself, trying to be as quiet as possible not to wake up my gorgeous boyfriend who was still asleep. What I wasn't expecting was that as soon as I felt the food on my mouth, it made my nausea get worse, and I had to hurry to the bathroom to throw up.

Chester was wakened up by that awful sound which made him jump and run to the bathroom, to find me kneeling in front of the toilette.

"Baby," he rushed to aid me, by pulling my hair away from my face, while he rubbed a hand in my back.

"Go away," I tried to say, while another urge to throw up came over me. "I don't want you to see this."

Chester chuckled and ignored my attempts to shove him away from the bathroom, offering his hand to help me get up.

"What happened?" He asked, helping me to go over the sink to brush my teeth.

"I don't know. I woke up feeling sick, ate something but, clearly, it turned on me."

"Morning sickness?" He said playfully. "Are you pregnant?"

I muffled a laugh while I was brushing my teeth, punching Chester in his arm in a playful way. There was no way I was pregnant, it was probably something that I ate. I tried to remember my last meals, but my mind was clouded by other thoughts. 

Chester noticed how my smile slowly faded away, and a terrified expression took over me.

I stopped brushing my teeth.

"What day is it today?"

"Friday, why?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

I gulped hard. Widened my eyes. Shook my head.

"Ana, what is it?"

"Oh, _fuck_. Nope, no. No -- it's - I can't -- " I started rambling and Chester was getting really scared of my behavior. He grabbed me by my shoulder, turned my body to face him and shook me.

"What the hell is wrong?"

I looked into his beautiful shiny brown eyes that can melt me even if I'm in north pole, freezing to death - which was metaphorically happening at the moment.

"My period... It was supposed to come on Monday... _Monday_! And today it's Friday," I pulled my own hair roots.

Chester, on the other hand, didn't react. He looked like he saw a ghost. He was pale and seemed like he could collapse at any moment.

"I didn't forget the pill, so this can't be right, -- right? I -- I must be stressed about university. I mean, I'm almost finishing my studies and... oh God, I can't be pregnant right now. I need to finish my studies first. I can't --"

"Ana," Chester said in a stern tone, making me stop talking and look at him. "There's no point in being anxious. Let's get a pregnancy test and we'll think about that after, alright?"

I nodded my head, not being completely convinced.

"Now, let's take a shower and we'll go to a drug store together, ok?"

"Ok..." I muttered, a little too scared to even move away from the sink. 

Chester turned on the hot water and took off his clothes. If I wasn't so shocked, I'd be very pleased with the view, but I couldn't even think about it.

He helped me undress and washed me as I stood there, utterly petrified. 

"Ana, baby, look at me," he sighed, as he noticed how terrified I looked. "I'm sure this is just stress taking over you, but if it's not, I'm here with you and I am not going anywhere. It's scary, but as long as I'm by your side, I'm happy. Alright?"

I knew he was trying to help me control my anxiety, but deep down, he was more nervous than I was. He was scared as fuck because he didn't expect to be a father this soon. Well, he never expected to have any sort of family of his own, because he truly believed that the was not worthy of love and anyone who would know him, would rather stay away from someone like him.

He didn't want that test to be positive, not at all. But at the same time, he wondered if he would be a good father. He didn't want to make the same mistakes that his father did. Chester wanted the best for his children and would fight against anything and anyone who'd try to hurt them.

But at that moment, I needed him. And he pushed aside all those worries, just to ease mine.

When we were finally dressed up and ready to leave, we walked to the nearest drug store. One pregnancy test was enough, but I asked for five, which surprised Chester. 

We rushed back home because we still had a couple of hours before school, and we decided not to wait anymore. 

I entered the bathroom to pee in the stick and wait five minutes, as the instructions said.

Chester followed me to the bathroom and I looked back with a raised brow, staring at him with my arms crossed.

"What?" He asked.

"Do you mind?"

"What?" he asked again, completely unaware that I needed privacy.

"You know I have to pee in that stick. I'm not doing it while you're in here," he widened his eyes and walked away from the bathroom. It almost made me laugh because, at that moment, he was showing up his anxiety more than I was. I noticed how he was biting his nails but tried to hide it from me. Still, when he talked to me, there was no trace of his anxiety in his voice.

I did what I had to do once I was alone. 

Five times.

I put the tests in a line, on top of the sink, turned on the chronometer of my smartphone to count 5 minutes and sat at the edge of my bathtub. Chester entered the bathroom when I told him I was done and sat by my side, saying soothing words of love to me. _What would I do without this man?_

He was doing his best to keep my mind off the results of the tests. 5 minutes are fast to pass, but once you're in these kinds of situations, they last an eternity.

"Chester..." I said in the meantime.

"_Hm?_"

"Would you like to be a father one day?"

My boyfriend looked down at me, a flash of thoughts and feelings crossing his eyes.

"I don't know... All I know is that you'd be an excellent mother and I'd try to do my best to be a good father," he whispered. "And even if those tests are negative, which I must admit, I want to, especially given the timing, you're the only woman that I'd ever wanted to have children with."

I smiled at him, trying to conceal the tears that for some reason formed in my eyes.

He opened his mouth to speak again, but my alarm interrupted our moment, both of us stiffing at the sound. I wasn't capable of getting up to check the results, but Chester squeezed my hand before walking to the sink. Taking a deep breath, he looked down and clapped his hands.

"You're just stressed, baby, see?" He said, making me jump to see it with my own eyes.

I sighed in relief and hugged him.

"Thank God," I muttered and Chester chuckled.

"I don't know if I should feel offended or not. Having a baby with me would be that horrible?"

I giggled and punched his arm.

"No, but it would be horrible if I didn't get to finish my studies because of a huge belly."

"A huge belly wouldn't be that bad. I bet you'd be sexy anyway," Chester said in a playful tone. He pulled me again to his embrace, his soothing stroking in my hair finally calming down my nerves. "You can relax now, Ana."

"Yes, my period is late probably because of the stress... I mean, this is my last year. I can't fail now."

"You're worried about failing? The best student in that class is afraid of failing? You must be really sick," he laughed, pulling me with him to the living room. "You should eat something soft now, love. And you won't be going to classes today."

"I have to go," I protested.

"End of conversation," he said with a stern voice, even though his eyes were peacefully gleaming.

I rolled my eyes and sat at the kitchen island, while he made me something to eat. When he was finishing making pancakes and warming up some milk, he sat by my side, smiling and stroking my hair away from my face while I ate.

"Aren't you going to be late for classes?"

He nodded his head.

"I still have 20 more minutes," he stared at me, his eyes glowing as if he was worshiping a God. "Ana, would you -- like to be a mother?"

I almost spit out my hot milk, coughing as I looked at him in shock, my face completely red.

"I -- I don't know," I admitted. "I think I would, but I'm terrified. It's a full-time job that can either end very well or miserably wrong."

"I think you'd be a great mother," he said, more as if he was talking to himself. He turned to me. "Would you like to be the mother of my children?"

I widened my eyes at him.

"You're trying to scare me, aren't you?"

He just laughed at me. The fucker was doing on purpose, he was mocking me about a serious subject that almost gave me a heart attack just moments ago. _Asshole_.

"Yes, I am, but really, would you like to have a baby with me, one day? You did ask me the same question, so, it's only fair to ask it back." The smile on his face melted me to the core.

I rolled my eyes at him but smiled while nodding my head. "I'd love to have a family with you..." Chester smiled even more and I was just so overwhelmed by the situation that I swear I'd get pregnant at that moment if he let me. But my smile faded away as I snapped out of my trance he put me in. "... when we're both older, wiser and with prospering careers. Alright? No accidents until then."

"No accidents," he said.

"Cool."

"Cool."

There was an awkward moment of silence that hovered us. I looked down at my empty mug, Chester looked away at the window and none of us spoke for a minute.

"We can always train..." he said all of a sudden, making me look at him with furrowed brows. "... you know, we can train for when we want to make a baby."

I nodded my head peacefully and calmly.

"You still have 10 minutes, right?"

"Yup," he said, his eyes traveling down my body.

"Training time it is."


	42. When there's no way out

A knock on my door snapped me out of my studies. The final exams were there, and my graduation date was almost there. I was getting nervous about it, but not much will change, right? I'm already working as an intern at Rene's husband's clinic, and when I'm finally graduated, I will get a job there. A good job. But for that to happen, I needed to study, and the insistent doorbell was pissing me off.

When I opened the door, my blood froze inside my veins.

"Mike?"

He pushed the door open and entered my apartment without even asking for permission. I didn't react, though, he looked like shit. He was pale, panting, shaking even; his eyes were red and puffy like he has been crying or like has been doing drugs. I didn't even dare to say a word as he walked from one side of my living room to another with his hands in his head, pulling his hair in desperation.

For one minute I stood there, with my door opened, just looking at him.

Then, I jumped back completely scared when he walked over me, pulling a gun out of his jeans and pointing it at my head.

"Close the fucking door!" He yelled. 

Without thinking twice, I closed it and held my hands in the air, looking him in the eyes.

My tears were burning in my eyes, one falling down my face.

"Mike -- " I muttered, but he interrupted me.

"SHUT UP!" He yelled.

I closed my mouth, my hands trembling in the air. All I could think about was how lucky it was that Chester wasn't there. I'm sure he'd shot by now since he was so distressed. Was it because of the box I sent? Well, it's been almost two months since I sent it, I thought it resulted, since he hasn't spoken to us since then, I thought it would help him see the truth and leave us alone for good. He was in denial for too long, he needed to face the truth and see that no one was responsible for Mia's death. No one but the one that actually hurt her, and he had his sentence already.

Mike's hand was trembling, so I knew he had no intention of shooting me. He needed to let it all out, whatever was making him act like that. 

However, one wrong move or one mistold word could make him lose control and shoot.

"I received your package," he said. "Do you think it would be funny? Huh?"

He approached me and pressed his gun against my temples.

"No," I cried. "I wanted you to know the truth."

"THE TRUTH? THE TRUTH??? The truth is that your beloved boyfriend killed her. He didn't drown her, but he treated her like shit that she ended up killing herself," he hissed.

"Did you see everything in that box?" I asked, afraid of his reaction.

"I did," Mike simply said.

"Did you read her diary?" I asked, once again my voice failing on me.

"I did. And I don't know what you intended but that diary was written by a child. She didn't know what she was writing. You weren't there, you didn't see how Chester treated her!" 

"I've told Chester and I tell you now, heartbreaking wouldn't be enough reason for her to kill herself and I was right! You read the same I did! You know what your _friend_ Brian did to her. Why do you keep on blaming Chester?" I yelled back.

"Because Brian is dead!" He replied and a long moment of silence fell upon us.

Mike got away from me, walking around in the living room with his hands in his head, once again. The air around us became so cold, so terrifyingly freezing even though the weather was warm and sunny. I could feel every muscle of my body becoming rigid, stiffed in fear. I only prayed for Chester not to decide to come home earlier that day. I was so scared of what might happen if he walks through that door...

He finally looked at me again. A scary grin plastered across his face that terrified every piece of my soul.

"Where's your phone?"

I looked at the dining table where I had all of my books spread due to my studying session. The phone was there and Mike saw it. He picked it up and wrote a message to Chester telling him that I left the door open for him to come to my apartment and enter my room because I had a surprise for him. _Mike doesn't know that we live together_, I thought.

"What are you going to do when he gets here?"

"I don't know. Improve," he said. "Move."

He pointed to my bedroom and I hesitated for a while. When he raised his gun, I immediately did as he commanded.

I heard my phone ringing the notification sound and felt my stomach twisting inside. I knew it would be Chester and I was so scared that moment.

"Woah!" Mike said. "Damn, this guy is so different right now. He was always the quieter one, I didn't know he could talk like that."

He handed me the phone and pointed the gun at me.

"Read it and reply."

I looked at my phone and widened my eyes.

_CHESTER:_ _New lingerie? Am I going to get lucky?_

I rolled my eyes at the message._ Horny motherfucker. _Couldn't he just say _"I'm sorry, honey, I'm very busy right now"?_

"Come on, write your best sexy text message," Mike said in a tone that I found so disgusting.

I raised my brow at him.

"What? Don't tell me you never did that," he said. Then, his smile faded away and he raised his gun at me again. "Write it."

"You're sick," I spat out.

"Yeah," he mocked me. "But it is your boyfriend's fault."

"It's not too late Mike. I won't tell him you were here and I'll help you get the help you need."

"Aw, pumpkin," he brushed my hair in a terrifying way that made my body shiver. "Don't need to worry about me. I don't need your fucking help. I need my revenge. If you don't reply to him, I'll just find him and pull a bullet through his fucking drunken skull." His dangerous expression came back, his eyes became darker. Then, a grin appeared. "Talk to him in a sexual way, as I'm sure you usually do. Don't make him suspicious about anything."

"Ok, ok ..." I thought about it for a second and an idea came to my mind. "I can't believe you're making me do this."

I started writing the message. 

_ME: I bought one of those latex suits you liked. I'm waiting for you. And don't forget to bring the handcuffs and the other toy from the last drawer of your dresser._

I prayed that Chester understood what I meant and tried hard to keep Mike occupied.

When Chester opened that text message, he furrowed his brow, leaning back in his chair. He was in his office at the university, correcting his students' exams before going back home to me. He was planning on making me a surprise that night, that would involve candles, strawberries, and chantilly. To anyone else, that message would be a turn on, but there were no toys or handcuffs in his last drawer. 

He narrowed his eyes as he remembered that when he still lived in the apartment next to ours, the last drawer was he stored clothes he barely used and...

_The gun_.

He immediately got up from his chair, grabbed his stuff and called Rene. He knew she would be busy right now, but she would know how to help me. Chester ran through the corridors of the university, heading outside to get to his car.

When Rene picked up the phone she knew something was wrong when she heard him panting.

"I think... I think Ana is in trouble," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"She's home, in trouble. I think there's someone in the house," he said. "Please, meet me there."

"Chester, if she's in trouble you can't go. Let me call for backup," she said.

"Don't... If there's someone in the house, it must be Mike. Otherwise, she wouldn't be able to text me."

"I don't get it," she said.

"Fuck, Rene. I know her, and I know she's in trouble. Just, please, help me ok?"

Rene didn't protest anymore. She trusted his brother, but she took her gun with her anyway. She had to come out with some stupid excuse about her husband having some kind of accident, nothing serious, but she needed to go to him.

Chester drove as fast as he could back home and Rene arrived almost at the same time. He never felt his heart beating so fast as it was beating that moment. If the woman he loves gets hurt because of him, he would never be able to forgive himself. He was sure that if he lost me, he would lose himself forever. There was no turning back.

He searched his pockets for his keys and opened the main door for our apartment in the most silent way possible. Rene walked behind him, gun in her hand.

She searched the living room slowly, reaching for the dining table where I spent the last couple of hours studying and where I left my mint tea mug that was probably cold by now. Rene, observant as she is, touched the tea mug and mouthed _it's cold_. 

Then, they both froze when they heard voices coming from my bedroom.

Chester could hear my distressed voice, crying and pleading to someone.

Without thinking twice, he nodded his head to his sister and opened my bedroom door slowly. What he saw, petrified him, shaking him to his core. That image will never come out of his mind. I was sitting on the edge of the bed and Mike was standing in front of me, gun pressed against my temples.

"Mike, let her go," Chester said.

"Put the gun down Mike," Rene said, showing up in front of Chester with her gun pointing at Mike. "There's still time."

Mike, who was grinning at Chester, widened his eyes in shock when he saw Rene. He hated Chester more than anything in the world, but he never wanted Rene involved in any of that. He also didn't want to get me in the middle of that situation, but since I refused to step aside, he had to make sure his message was understood.

"Ri, go away. This is between Chester and me, but I'll shot if any of you get close."

"Mike!" Chester yelled, desperation in the tone of his voice when his eyes met mine. For the first time in the years he met me, he never saw that look. He never saw me that terrified, fearing for my own life. He felt his heart breaking into tiny pieces, feeling completely powerless as he watched the love of his life with a gun pointed at her head. Any wrong move and he would lose me forever. "It's me who you want Mike, let them go and we will solve things for once. I won't fight you, you can do whatever you want, but please let them go. It's not their fault."

"No!" I yelled, but Mike pressed the gun against my forehead harder, shutting me.

Chester raised his hands in the hair and took a step closer to us. Mike looked at me with the tears in his eyes, showing me that he was also scared. Then, he looked at Chester, panting and trembling, and spoke with such hatred in his voice.

"On your knees," he said.

Chester did as he commanded, but stared at me the whole time.

"Mike!" Rene yelled, tightening the grip in her gun.

"Put your fucking gun down and shut the fuck up or I'll blow her beautiful princess brain!"

"Rene!" Chester yelled. "Do as he says."

Hesitating for a while, Rene put the gun on her pants and took a step back.

Mike looked at Chester and sneered.

"Beg me to spare her," he said. "Beg me or I'll shot."

"Mike... please, please let her go. Kill me, but don't hurt her. She has nothing to do with this."

Mike laughed at Chester's figure, a laugh that echoed my mind, traveled every inch of my body, making me shiver as if I saw death itself in front of me, mocking Chester's will to give his life for me. That was something that I never imagined in my whole life, that Chester would be on his knees, begging to be killed so that I was kept from harm.

And as Chester kept on trying to convince Mike to let me go, it was like I had this epiphany and imagine how my life would be if Chester and I come unharmed from all of this. That I'd do anything to keep Mike away, even if I had to tell the police about him. Even if we have to move out to the other side of the planet. What mattered to me was so be with Chester, forever. I'd marry someday if he'd take me, I'd give him as many children as he desired, I'd remember him every day how much I love him. I will never waste any minute because in a second I might lose the rest of my life with him.

When Mike finally turned the gun against Chester's temples, something inside of me broke and I just screamed.

"No!!! No, please. Turn the gun against me. Don't hurt him, please..."

Mike looked at me and furrowed his brows in confusion.

"After everything he did, you still defend him? How are you even able to do it?"

"What you're doing is much worse," I spat out. "Chester might contribute to your sisters' reasons to kill herself, but you're making her turn in her grave."

Mike gasped at my words, opening his mouth in shock.

"SHUT UP!" He screamed.

"It's true. I read her journal. I saw how sweet Mia was, but at the same time, how fragile she was. I read how much she hated when you smoked pot in the basement and yelled at her to fuck off when she tried to stop you from ruining your health. I know that she'd run to her room, cried while writing in her journal. I also read about the times when your parents argued and you would go out anyway, without comforting your little girl who was scared to death. I read when she ran away from home, going after her brother who she loved unconditionally and who left for a party after your parents talked about getting a divorce. I also read about when she was raped at that party by one of her big brother's friend. She wanted to kill herself, and Chester was the only light in her life. Not only because she loved him, but because he treated like a real human being, unlike her brother."

Chester was trembling on the floor, his knees almost falling on him. Rene had her mouth covered, tears strolling down in a silent cry. Mike was shaking his head, not wanting to hear anything anymore. But I wasn't done. I noticed how his hand was getting weaker, his gun was lower, not pointing at Chester's head.

So, I kept going.

"I read her goodbye letter, where she wrote that Chester was the only good thing in her life. That she wanted him to live his life to the fullest because he deserved it more than anyone, especially after what happened to him and to his family that was tore apart. She also said that she loved her big brother more than ever, that she admired you so much, even though you were rude to her very often. She said she wished you good luck because she truly believed you would become a great musician because you have talent. I read how she wished that your parents solve their marriage and stayed together. And they were the only ones that granted her last wish."

"Shut up, shut up!" He yelled, grabbing his own head with his two hands.

I got up from the bed to face him, to talk to him near him.

"No. I'm not going to shut up. You're trying to get revenge, going against your sister's last wishes. You're not only destroying your own life and Chester's, but you're also ruining the life of someone's brother. You will channelize all your pain, all your grief, and resentment to Rene. You know how you suffered all these years, do you really want her to suffer too as you did???"

Mike looked at Rene, his vision blurred with tears.

"Your parents are suffering enough already. They already lost their daughter, imagine how they would end up if they lost their son. Or worse, if they are forced to live with the pain of having a murderer in their family. And, don't forget, if you hurt Chester, you will be killing the love of someone else's life. Mike," he looked at me. "I also don't deserve that pain. And you might think that this will get you closure, but, trust me, it won't. It never will."

He sobbed, hiding his face behind his hands.

"As long as you keep yourself from asking your sister for forgiveness for how you've been living the past years, you will never be in peace with it. As long as you don't make amends with your parents that love you and miss you like hell, you won't be ok."

Mike turned around, not wanting to look at me. Chester remained kneeling on the floor, watching Mike tearing down. I saw him as he walked to the mirror and looked at himself.

"Mike, your sister forgave you everything while she was alive. That letter that you refused to read, the last letter, she forgave you. Can you? Can you forgive yourself and move on?"

I finished my speech and it worked. He was sobbing, trembling his gun was pointing down and he didn't say a word. He was speechless, processing how all those words shook him to the core, how it made the walls he has been building over the years tumbling down, exposing his pain, his grief, and his sorrow.

He watched himself in the mirror and realized that I was right. That everyone was right. It was no one's fault, but everyone's fault at the same time. She was in pain, she felt hopeless, and she thought no one would understand her nor help her. She was so wrong. He would help her if she told him how she was hurting.

He'd do anything to make her feel alright again, to make her feel happy.

He'd do anything to see her smiling again. To see her again.

Without thinking, he unlocked his gun and slowly pointed to his head, his eyes glued to himself. I gasped at the same time that Chester got up from the floor and threw himself at Mike, trying to stop the shot he just fired. The sound echoed through the room, making my ears hurt with the loud sound. When they fell on the floor and the gun slipped away from their reach, Rene kicked it away, rushing to aid them. I stood there, petrified, as I noticed the amount of blood on the floor, staining the carpet. Every inch of my body was trembling and there was this huge sense of nausea that took over me. I only thought that Mike did it, he avenged his sister's death, he had killed Chester. But when Chester got up and grabbed Mike's bloody shoulder, it snapped me out of my trance.

I faintly heard Rene calling an ambulance on the phone. All I could process in my brain was that Chester was unharmed. He was alright. 

Rene took care of his wound, pushing Chester away while Mike tried to speak but only could mutter something imperceptible. He sat back on the floor, panting and watching Rene talking to Mike to keep him awake, then he looked at me, kneeling on the floor, eyes glued to Mike's wound, feeling that my world would collapse if that wound was on Chester.

"Hey..." I heard him whispering. 

I looked at him, crawling the floor to hug each other tightly.

"It's alright," he said. "It's alright."

I sobbed in the crook of his neck, pulling him closer to me.

"I'm so sorry, Ana," he said. "I never wanted this to happen. I -- I d-don't what I'd do if..."

I cupped his face and pressed my lips against his, to stop him from finishing that sentence. Chester finally calmed down, and embraced me in his arms, kissing me back.

"I'm ok," I assured him. "I'm scared, but, I'm ok. He didn't hurt me."

"I'm sorry..."

"Shh... it's ok now. He will get the help he needs, I swear."

Chester looked at Mike who was looking at him too. Something was different in his eyes. It felt like he was sad, scared and apologizing for what he did. He regretted everything. And with one look, he could share all his feelings with us, so that Chester just nodded his head at him and he closed his eyes, sighing in relief.

When he was taken to the hospital, all of us had to talk to the police. Chester gave me the choice to file a complaint about his behavior, but I refused because I knew he'd be alright now. I'd make sure of it. Then, he drove to the hospital because Chester didn't want him to be alone. 

He had gone to surgery to remove the bullet, disinfect the wound and he needed stitches. That will definitely leave a scar that he will have to see every day through the rest of his life, remembering the events of that horrible day. He would have to live with what he did and try to make amends for everyone's lives he almost ruined.

What he didn't know was that he wasn't going to go through all of that alone. Chester never left his side when he was taken back to the room after the surgery. He stood there, waiting for him to wake up, to make sure he had everything he needed. I eventually called his parents but asked them to wait in the waiting room, because Chester wanted to be there when he woke up.

"You're here," Mike whispered when he opened his eyes, his voice falling on him.

"I'm here," he replied as if he was realizing that he was actually there with Mike. After so many years of harassment, stalking and threats, he was there, offering his help. Even after he threatened the love of his life.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Chester... I'm sorry --"

"It's ok. Just, rest and we will talk when you're better."

"No, please," Mike pleaded. "Please... I was so angry, I wanted someone to pay... I needed to make someone pay, someone that would make the pain less heavy... I'm sorry it had been you... I never wanted this to happen, but I don't know how I got here... I'm was so angry since it happened... but now, I'm sad and empty. I don't what to do..."

Chester grabbed Mike's hand and looked him in the eyes, tears strolling down both of his cheeks.

"I'm going to help you if you'd let me. Your parents will help you... Ana will help you," he said.

"Ana..." he whispered, widening his eyes. "Oh, God. Did I hurt her?"

"Not physically, no," Chester replied in a mutter.

"Please, tell her I'm sorry," he cried, hiding his face with his hands.

"You can tell her, she's in the waiting room," Chester said with a weak smile on his lips.

Mike looked at Chester with a confused expression. "She is?"

Chester nodded. "Yes, with Rene and your parents."

He just gasped and sobbed. Chester took the opportunity to leave and call for me. Everyone in the room remained confused, why on earth did he want to see me and not his parents first. I just nodded at Chester and walked past him, knocking on his room's door.

"May I?" I asked.

"Yes," he said very faintly. "Please."

I walked through the room, approaching his bed. His eyes were puffy and red from crying and he was still panting.

"I need you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I was so angry... I lost my little sister... How is that possible? She was so little, so young... Why was she hurting so much?"

"Sometimes... sometimes people who are hurting the most are the ones that can mask it and fool everyone. It is not your fault, she was just too good at hiding it."

Mike nodded his head, wiping his tears away.

"I'm sorry for everything I did to Chester..."

"Me too," I said.

"I don't know what to do now... I spent all my life blaming him, hating him with all my heart, and now I know what to do with my life."

I remained quiet for a while, analyzing the humbleness behind his words. I know what he did to Chester was wrong. He hurt himself, and he hurt Chester in ways that I don't think he will ever forget. Chester was scarred for life and no amount of pills, doctors or even me can undo the damage in his soul. I will certainly double the effort in helping him, but there's nothing I can do to erase that mark. But I know that Mike has been drowning in dark water filled with twisted memories of that night, memories that made him do horrible things to the people that loved him.

I also know that now he is wide awake, fully aware of what happened, and the mistakes he had done. And I was sure that he will amend them.

"You need to forgive yourself first," I said, approaching him. If Chester believes in Mike's heart, I would do everything to help the man that was his best friend once, that supported him when his family was falling apart. "Then, you need to make peace with what happened. Make amends with your family. And move on, with your sister in your heart, telling you what's right and what's wrong. Go after what makes you happy, even if you don't know what that is. You'll find out eventually, and Chester, your family and I will be here to help you."

Mike muffled a laugh, nodding his head.

I furrowed my brows.

"Chester is really a lucky bastard for having someone like you."

I laughed at his statement.

"Yes, I know. I already told him the same."

Mike's laugh gradually vanished, a more serious expression appearing in his face.

"Do you think he will ever forgive me for what I've put him trough?"

I smiled and winked at him.

"He remained by your side in this hospital room even after you had a gun against my head. I think you're safe."

He smiled at me again.

"But you have to get help. Don't let your mental health take the best of you again. Please, take care of yourself."

"I will. I promise," he said with a gleam behind his eyes that showed a glimpse of hope in his darkened soul.

I turned around to leave the room, after wishing to get well soon. Finally, I was able to sigh in relief. It has been a strange day. Dangerous. But, at the same time, soothing, because I know that things will definitely get better. It will take me a while to forget it, sure, but I know that Mike will no longer be a threat or a stone in our shoes.

When I arrived in the waiting room, Mike's parents were anxious about going in. After a few moments of conversation, I finally led them to his room and looked at Chester and Rene, sighing at last. No words were need. We just turned around and walked away from that hospital, Rene going back to work, and Chester and I going back to our home, where everything happened.


	43. Aftermath

The trip back home was silent, heavy and all I wanted to do was to throw up so badly.

It was like I had this tight knot on my stomach, clenching around my neck and making my head throb painfully. Images of Mike's intrusion, the gun aimed at me, the ugly argument we had, Chester on his knees begging Mike to kill him instead of me... It was all too much to bear, and the tears naturally kept strolling down my cheeks as a way to release the strain I was feeling inside. But it only infuriated me more.

Chester, on the other hand, was inexplicably craving to get some sleep. That day was so overpowering and terrifying that he felt like all of his energy and strength to face the world simply vanished.

When we entered our apartment, a chill ran down my spine. It all happened just hours ago. And I couldn't enter our bedroom again, so I rested noiselessly on the couch, dragging the long white blanket over my body. 

Chester remained still at the door, his heart shattering a little as he observed my delicate and wretched figure laying helpless on the couch.

"Ana," he muttered, somewhat doubtful of what he wanted to say.

Approaching the couch and kneeling on the floor, I dared to look at him over the blanket with my teary eyes, knowing that I was about to explode at any moment. Too many emotions were making it hard for me to even breathe.

He didn't dare to speak for a while, watching as I hid my face under the blanket again, sobbing. His hands rested on my shoulders, stroking them in a tender way, not being able to stop his own tears from falling.

"I'm so sorry..." he whispered slowly, as he leaned his forehead against the blanket over my head.

Nodding, I raised my head to look at him once again and I couldn't hold it inside of me anymore.

"Never, ever again, dare to trade your life over mine! Ever!" Chester widened his eyes at my outburst. I sat on the couch and straightened my back, a wave of deranged energy going through every fiber of my body. "You... you knelt on the floor in front of him... He was going to shoot you! He was going to shoot you here, in our home. How would I live without you???"

"It's ok now, baby," he attempted to soothe me, but by the maddening look in my eyes, he knew he failed.

"No, no, it's not ok! You can't do those things! You can't do those things," I kept repeating the same words over and over again and Chester had to grab my face to make me stop and look at him. When I calmed down, he spoke sternly.

"I'd take one thousand bullets to keep you safe. Don't ask me not to do it because you were doing the same thing, in the same room. And I know you'd do it again. So don't ask me to never try to give my life over yours because you know I'd never keep that promise..." I sobbed, but Chester pulled my head up to look at him. "It was my fault. I let him continue his fucking harassment and I never thought he'd be capable of doing this... it's my fault, baby, and I'm so sorry for putting you through this..."

"No... It's mine..." I replied, looking down.

"Ana, n --"

"It is... I was the one that triggered him... I did something," I said and tried to explain to him that I talked to Mike's parents and made Rob deliver Mike a box with Mia's stuff because I wanted to end this stalking, but I sobbed and stammered so badly that no words could be discernible. What confused me the most, was Chester's neutral expression and the serene glimpse in his eyes. When I finally stopped to look at him with my eyes narrowed, he smiled weakly.

"Rene told me," he stated. "Weeks ago."

I snorted, eyes wide open, afraid of what he might think of me for lying to him.

"You shouldn't have done it..." he said.

"I know, I'm --"

"I should," he finished, making me gawk incredulous at him. "Rene told me because she received a visit from Mike. He didn't point a gun at her, but he made her believe that he might want to do something to you... And I was going to the police because I was afraid of what he was planning to do. It was wrong of you to go behind my back, but I also know you and Rene just wanted this to end. Probably I should have talked to Mike's parents a long time ago, I don't know..."

"I'm sorry for lying to you," I said.

"I know," Chester replied with a sad frown.

"But I'd do it all over again," I confessed, tears threatening to fall again. "I was tired of watching your efforts to be better, to be mentally healthier and then Mike would come and ruin that... You looked so... dark... It scared me sometimes. I thought you might disappear..."

"Baby, I'd never disappeared," he muttered.

"You didn't see yourself with my eyes, then," I replied more harshly than I intended, making him flinch. "It hurt to see you dying inside every day."

"I'm sorry... I -- I didn't know," that was all he could say before burying his head on my lap with his tattoed arms around my waist. "I didn't know."

"Mike is getting the help he needs -- and I hope everything goes back to its place b-b-because I w-o-ouldn't know what I'd do i-if I-I lose you."

Chester looked up at me, sniffing and blinking through his tears. 

"Oh, baby...." He pulled me to a deep, passionate and overwhelming kiss. He cupped my cheeks with his hands, the warmth of his skin tending the wounds provoked by the recent incident.

My hands gently pulled the roots of his short hair and made their way to wander his inked back over his t-shirt. My fingers curled up to pull his t-shirt and take it off, and Chester lifted his arms to make it easier. I threw his t-shirt to the floor and pulled his body up to meet mine against the couch.

He lay in the middle of my legs, grinding his hips on my impassioned core, and the fact that his bulge was growing hard with every movement was making me tingle even more for his touch.

Chester opened his eyes and pulled away from the kiss, his hands trying to unbutton my shirt.

"Ches... I need to feel you," I whimpered, as the tears strolled to the sides of my eyes. "I need you inside of me right now."

I freed him from his pants and he did the same to me, both of us feeling that we just needed to be more intimately connected. There was no other way I'd wanted to heal the damage Mike provoked unless it was in Chester's arms.

When we released our bodies from our underwear, Chester didn't waste any more time, as he found the slippery entrance and penetrated me without warning. He buried himself deep inside of my core, both of us groaning out loud, both of us releasing the tension in our bodies.

Chester followed a quick pace, not caring about how long he was going to endure it. I didn't care about it either, I just needed to feel the blissful sensation of having the love of my life inside of me, connected like no one else ever had or ever will. I needed to feel he was there, he was mine. I needed to feel him touch me as if I was the most precious thing in the world.

And Chester did it exactly as I needed. He pulled my hair and exposed my neck to his mouth. His lips let a trail of marks as if he wanted to show the world who I truly belonged to. The groans coming from his lips sent a wave of electricity through my skin, a blissful enhancer to my orgasm. With no effort and too many emotions, Chester made me reach my climax at the same time he did.

No words were needed after that. 

His lovely shiny brown eyes had this gleam that clearly exposed his heart and his feelings. Our panting chests showed me how much we both needed such an intimate moment.

We both knew it was going to be hard to forget what happened, and the fact that Mike would have the help he needs wasn't enough to erase years and years of stalking and harassment. Such wounds take time to heal, and if they heal, they leave scars.

But even though we knew how hard it was going to be, at least we can rest our heads in our pillows knowing that everything was going back to its place. We could finally sigh in relief. We could finally have the life we deserve.

_Together_. 

*** 

** _(A few weeks later)_ **

"We're so proud of you, my dear," Nanna said as she hugged me tightly. My mother and my father were behind her, waiting to squeeze me in their arms.

The graduation ceremony finally ended. My diploma was handed to me by the school headmaster, Patrick. I thanked him with a huge smile on my lips and even became teary when he said that I actually surpassed the expectations he had for me. It was such an emotional ceremony, but all I wanted to do was to leave that place with my family and celebrate my graduation with them.

It is a new phase of my life, exciting but terrifying at the same time.

The good part is that I know Chester was going to be there for me, no matter what. And that is all I needed to endure whatever comes in my way.

We met at a restaurant with Nanna, my parents and my sisters. They were there waiting for me with happy and proud smiles on their faces. Nothing can compare to having your family together, with such a look of contentment. It fills every void in your heart and it's an image I will always hold dear.

"Thank you, Nanna. You were the one that gave me the opportunity to fight for myself," I whispered to her ear. "I don't know if I would be capable of turning my life upside down if you didn't help me the way you did. Thank you, Nanna. I'll never forget what you did for me."

"It was all you, baby. This was all you," Nanna answered, sniffing at the end. "You made me proud, sweetheart. Very proud."

"Thank you," I said, gasping when my mother pushed me away from Nanna.

"May I congratulate my own daughter?" She said with a tip of jealousy that made me laugh. Nanna started arguing with her, as usual. They argue all the time, but they can never live without each other. 

In the meantime, my father approached me and hugged me tightly.

"I'm proud of you, baby girl. Who would have thought you would be here today? Not that I doubt your skills and intelligence, but your mother..." he chuckled. "She's a maniac. _Don't tell her I said this_."

"I promise," I laughed. "You'd be a dead man."

"That I would," he said, kissing me on the cheek. "Your mother drives me crazy sometimes. I might need to schedule an appointment with you someday to release the madness," he laughed. "But I love her nonetheless. As I love you."

"I love you, Dad," I said, hugging him again.

"Why does everyone keep stealing my daughter?" My mother said frustrated. "Come here, Ana."

She pulled to a deep hug - too many hugs in so little time - and whispered words at my ear that made me shed a few tears. She apologized so many times for being so stupid before, for almost ruining my dreams and my talent. Admitting a flaw is not easy for Mrs. Clemonte, that's for sure. But she admitted, nevertheless, and I hugged her even more. My mother even asked me for forgiveness, but, as I told her before, she had nothing to apologize for. Sometimes we make stupid things for the ones we love because we truly believe it's the right thing for them. And parents tend to attempt to stop their children from doing the same errors as they did, but the truth is that we need to commit such errors to learn by ourselves.

That is something a few know. And that's something my mother had to learn the hard way.

As we sat on the table, we ordered food for all of us. Chester was late because he had to stay to help wrap up with a few things at the ceremony, but he arrived not long after we ordered. Sitting by my side, he kissed my cheek tenderly and greeted my family with a warm smile.

"So, honey, tell me, what are you planning to do next?" My father asked.

"Rupert, now it's not the time," my mother protested. "She just graduated, let her breathe a little."

"You're the one to talk," my Nanna huffed, starting another fight.

I looked at my sisters and we all three rolled our eyes, attacking the bread on the table.

Chester's phone rang and he took it out of his pocket to see who it was.

"Mike is asking me to congratulate you on your graduation. He said you haven't even started working, but you already proved you were good," he said with a sweet smile on his face.

"Tell him I said thank you and that if he needs anything he can come to me," I said, which earned me a kiss on my cheek.

"You really are the best person I have ever met," he muttered as he wrote the message.

I rolled my eyes playfully.

"How is he doing?"

"Uh, pretty good actually... He wants to have a coffee with me. He says he has a lot to talk about, to apologize and to catch up."

"And do you want to go?" I asked.

"Yeah, why not?"

"Are you sure it's safe already?" I asked, making him turn his head at me.

"I don't know, but I have to find out, right?" 

I smiled at him, which made him confused.

"Alright, I just want you to be safe. We can never be too careful. You have a good heart, Chester. A forgiving heart. And I love you for that."

"Just for that?" He muttered as his hand trailed down under the table to meet mine.

"I'll tell you late when we're alone," I whispered.

Monica and Rachel, who were focused on our strange conversation started coughing, catching our attention. We turned our heads at them and they were making disgusted grimaces.

_Gross_, I heard Monica mutter under her breath.

"What's gross?" My mother asked them, and I laughed as I saw their cheeks reddening.

"Nothing," I replied.

My mother dismissed her own question, looked at Chester and then looked at me.

"Did I tell you your father and I are going on a vacation together?" She said with a smile on her lips.

"_Poor me_," he whispered.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing," he replied immediately.

"Didn't think so. Well, we're going to Europe, to Monaco."

"I heard the beaches are beautiful," Nanna said.

"Yes, they are," my father said.

"That's nice," I said. "When was the last time you had vacations?"

My mother and my father became silent, trying to think of a date. Probably it was before my sisters and I were born. They lived for work since I can remember (that's why I was so unhappy when I lived with them), but now, even though they still work a lot, they have time for their family. So a vacation wouldn't hurt them.

On the other hand, my sisters would be alone with Nanna, so when they get back, they will be lucky if their house is still in the same place, untouched.

Chester looked for something in the pocket of his jacket.

"Rene and Richard asked me to hand you this," he said, giving me an envelope.

"What is this?" I asked as I opened the envelope and read the paper inside. Gasping, I looked at Chester, who seemed like he knew what was the content since there was a wide and proud smirk on his lips.

"What is it?" Rachel asked impatiently.

Since I didn't reply, Chester spoke for me.

"It's a contract to work as a paid trainee in Richard's clinic. They still have to work out some legal papers but they have a structured plan. It's in our house with everything you need to know. You start within a month."

"Congratulations, honey," Nanna said.

"Thank you," I said, reading the paper over and over again. Raising my head at Chester, I returned the smile he had on his lips.

"It's not just because you're my girlfriend, Richard really trusts your abilities. He knows about them and he was very interested in having someone like you in his clinic," he said sounding too excited. "He has great ideas for you to work on."

"I'm happy for you, baby girl," I heard my mother saying, but all I could see at that moment was Chester's shiny eyes, gleaming at me, and everything around us simply ceased to exist.

_***_

Later, after dinner was over, Chester hugged me from behind, walking me to the car. Planting several kisses on my neck, he told me how proud he was of me and how lucky he felt to have someone like me by his side. He opened the door of his car for me and I stopped.

"Chester, can we not go home, yet?"

"Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know," I smiled. "Surprise me."

I sat on the passengers' seat and Chester drove the car away from the restaurant. The radio was on, and Bryan Adams was playing. Muttering the lyrics to _When you're gone_, I realized I have never been so relaxed in my entire life.

I analyzed my situation and the smile on my face grew wider: I managed to take Chester out of the dark valley he was living in, I brought love and light to his life. There were challenges ahead of us, but he was no longer in such deep grief that stained his pure heart. I helped Mike find the help he needed, cutting the hatred connection he had with Chester and turning it into something more forgiving and lighter. I have a beautiful house, where I was living with the love of my life. I finished my studies in the area I've always loved. And I had a job proposition.

_What else could I ask for?_

Looking at Chester who was driving, completely unaware of my happiness, there were no words to describe how much my heart wants him. I love the tattoed man, body and soul, as scarred as he is. There are no words that can quantify how strong my feelings are.

Lost in my thoughts, I only acknowledged our location moments later.

Chester was taking us back to the hill, where we went for dinner a long time ago. _I remembered how that dinner ended..._

"Baby, are you coming?" Chester snapped me out of my sinful thoughts, the smirk on his lips showing me that he knew exactly what I was thinking about.

"Yeah," I said, getting out of the car, clearing my throat.

Chester sat at the top of the hood, his eyes admiring the landscape in front of us. Down there, the city seemed quieter than usual, more relaxed, but I think that was just us... The warm lights of the buildings, the streets and the cars illuminated the darkness ahead of us, mirroring the way the stars illuminated the sky.

When my eyes landed on Chester, carefree at the top of his car, I smiled at the analogy: my life was the dark sky, and Chester was the stars that brightened it up.

He turned his head to me.

"Come, hop up," he said, holding a hand to help me jump up.

I looked at his hand, a wave of contentment washing over me, and I took it. The touch of his skin on mine made me realize something. Something I felt deep inside of me. And when he looked down at me, his shiny brown orbs filled with love and desire gazing at mine, I had no doubts: _everything was going to be alright._

**THE END**


	44. Chapter 44

(Short Last chapter)

** _*** Two years later ***_ **

** _Somewhere in the middle of a beach in Monaco, France._ **

** _No P.O.V._ **

Chester and Ana were spent from their 14 hours flight to Monaco. 

Mr. and Mrs. Clemonte enjoyed the country so much, they started doing vacations twice or thrice a year in the same location, in the same hotel. What's worth working so much if you can't enjoy your own money? 

This time, they had everything prepared to go, but a last-minute deal stopped them from going. So, instead of canceling, they told Ana she could go with Chester and enjoy the wonderful beaches by themselves.

Ana has been working with Richard for two years now and has become his right arm. She has been developing her own field of research and she has been accomplishing exceptional results, and that is why Chester couldn't be prouder of her. 

Chester, on the other hand, continues teaching music at the university, but his mental health has improved significantly, mostly due to having Ana in his life, but also because he has seen how happy he can feel and how life can be good for him. Mike is becoming a close friend of him, but he still feels guilty for everything he put Chester through. The group of old school friends is together and complete, at last, frequently going out together like old times.

Besides that, Ana still needs to help him go through some hard stuff, like, forgiving his parents. It has been a gradual process, but Chester is walking on baby steps towards his family. Rene has been a great help, trying to connect him with their family, but Chester was the one in charge and he was the one who could decide if he was comfortable or not around them. Nevertheless, he started going to family dinners, and that was lifting a tremendous pressure off Ana and Chester's shoulders.

So, their lives are going better than expected.

And those paid vacations in Monaco were more than welcome since they have been feeling exhausted due to their workload.

After their long flight, they were tired and needed to take a nap before exploring the small country. The suite booked was huge, too big for just the two of them. After exploring every corner of it, the first thing they did was try the jacuzzi and go to bed to get some rest. 

Obviously, they ended up getting more tired and, only after ravishing each other, they finally rested on each other's arms.

When they woke up, Ana - a beach lover - wanted to walk through the beaches, so she dragged Chester from the bed and forced him to dress up in his swimming trunks. It was almost 7 P.M. local time, so they were only able to enjoy one more hour of the hot European sun as they walked on the sand. The time didn't stop them from wandering for more than two hours though and it was such a relaxing moment that Ana wished she could repeat several times. 

Chester walked behind Ana, a little slower than her, cherishing the beauty of the sea, and how Ana's long dark hair was flying with the soft beach breeze. The direction of the wind made him feel her coconut shampoo in the air, a scent that he adores because it assures him he has Ana by his side, that she wasn't just a dream. A delightful dream.

Ana took her phone in her hands and opened the camera, not resisting the urge to take a picture of the beautiful landscape in front of her. The calm and warm Mediterranean sea, the thick but soft sand and the charming lights of the buildings, particularly the famous casino Monte Carlo.

"I'm hungry," Ana ended up saying, spinning around and walking back, facing Chester who had the most delicate smile on his face. She couldn't help but smile too, as she noticed his carefree expression and the look of peace in his eyes as he took mental pictures of the serene sea.

Chester finally looked at her.

"I was thinking about buying food and come back to the beach," he said, with a pinch of anxiety in his voice that Ana noticed. "I bet the sky here is beautiful."

Ana looked up at the sky and nodded her head.

"That's a good idea," she grabbed his hand and pointed to the road near the sand line. "I think I saw a market up there."

They bought food and used their beach towels as a table cloth. They bought several snacks, not minding the lack of healthy food around. They were on vacation, that's not the kind of thing you worry about.

After finishing their dinner, Ana leaned back on her elbows and gawked at the sea quietly and lost in her own thoughts. 

Chester took some things to the trash bin nearby and walked back to the towel, stopping a few inches away, looking down at Ana. Her eyes were glued to the horizon with such a captivating gleam that he couldn't wait to have her again, under Europe's moonlight.

Suddenly, he felt nervous again. He felt anxious. 

He searched for something in his backpack with his hands oddly shaking. Ana didn't even acknowledge his near presence. Instead, she wheezed excitedly when she observed a shooting star, lightening up the sky and vanishing seconds later in the line of the horizon.

"Chester, make a wish!" She said, the pure enthusiasm behind her voice melting him to the core.

He didn't reply, though.

"Ana," he called her name softly.

"What???" She asked without turning her head to him.

"Ana," he said again, clearing his throat.

Ana finally looked at him and covered her mouth in shock and surprise as she sat down in the towel.

"Ana Clemonte," he said on his knees, revealing a silver wedding ring inside a small velvety box. "I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone, and I can't imagine living a life you're not in. I want to share every moment with you, the good and the bad, if you'll have me. Six years ago, I had the great honor of calling you my girlfriend. It would be a greater honor to call you my wife. Will you marry me?"

Ana's breathing became heavy and her dark eyes became teary. Her throat became dry and she could swear her heart stopped beating for some moments until it started beating faster than ever.

"Yes, yes! I want to marry you!" She replied, kneeling in front of him, pulling him to a deep and emotional kiss.

Chester pulled away and took her hand, putting the ring on her finger.

"I wanted to propose a long time ago, but I wanted you to enjoy what you didn't enjoy before. I wanted you to finish your studies, build your career, and now, you're this amazing, perfect, wonderful woman -- strong, independent -- and I couldn't wait any longer..."

"I love you," she simply said, smiling as a tear of joy strolled down her cheek.

"I love you too," he said, huffing a laugh in his throat. "I'm so relieved right now."

"Why? Were you nervous?" Ana laughed and Chester nodded, the seriousness in his tone making her expression melt. "You thought I could say no?"

"Obviously," he said, playing with the ring in my finger nervously.

"I'd never," I said honestly.

"Besides, I planned this trip with your parents, it would be a waste if you'd said no," Chester said, a devilish smirk on his lips.

"What??? What do you mean _planned_?"

"Well..." He started speaking in a guilty tone and Ana's smile grew wider. "They didn't have any vacations planned. This was all for us. I asked your parents for their blessing to ask you to marry me and they offered us this trip. You loved the photos they took when they came here... so, I couldn't say no."

"This is perfect," Ana said, sitting on his lap and kissing him intensely.

"You're perfect," he muttered as he slowly and barely brushed his lips against hers. "I can't wait to be married to you."

"Me neither," she chuckled.

"I'm glad you didn't say no," he smiled, kissing his fiancé slowly and passionately, as he leaned forward, laying Ana on the beach towel.

The night wasn't over for them just yet, nor their love story.


End file.
